


What was the plan again?

by VenlaMatleena



Category: Actor RPF
Genre: Charming the reader, Competition, Dating, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fighting for attention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-07-22 00:20:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 124,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7410970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenlaMatleena/pseuds/VenlaMatleena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You (the reader) are a huge fan of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender.<br/>You go see your favorite talk show (The Graham Norton -show) being filmed and that changes your life entirely.</p>
<p>#TeamMikke? #TeamJames? Choose your side! ;D</p>
<p>Based on a request; love triangle between Michael, James and the reader.<br/>Disclaimer: contains non-traditional relationship, this is pure fiction. Please do not jump into conclusions about my morals based on this story. Thank you!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Graham Norton -show

**Author's Note:**

> Graham Norton -show with Michael Fassbender, Hugh Jackman and James McAvoy
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOWp-pyuFWA
> 
> The reader is in the audience.

The room was getting crowded, you were waiting to be seated with many other people that had come to see the Graham Norton –show in London. It was the first weekend off for a long time and you had managed to get a ticket to the filming of your favorite talk show. The most awesome part was that your favorite actors James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender were going to be there with Hugh Jackman.  
You had seen the X-men: First Class and appreciated the mutual chemistry of Mr. McAvoy and Mr. Fassbender up to the point that you were almost obsessed with their bromance, so to speak. This all added to the awesomeness of this particular evening; you were going to be in the same room with both of them and practically breathe the same air with them. However, you were not the typical fan since you did not scream or cry yourself into sleep, not every night at least, and you understood that most likely the guys that you almost adored were just human beings like you… or that was what you had told yourself.

You had a plan. You had decided that if a moment came where you got a chance to chat with the stars, you would, but you would be cool and act normally. You would not ask for selfies or autographs because in your tactical mind you had reasoned that to score even the possibility to get a word or two with either of the guys, you had to treat them as normal people. You would be witty and smart and charming… but brutally out of reach. Maybe being “hard to get” would be the thing that would lure either of the two guys under your spell.

… Oh who were you kidding? All your mighty plans felt so ridiculous now. You watched around and so many gorgeous ladies that looked like they had been on their way on dates. Their faces and hair had been done most likely by some professionals and they were wearing very attractive, stylish dresses. You however were wearing your favorite dress that had a flattering neckline, but now it felt almost slutty. You had gotten dressed according to your own plan but now looking around, all the other women had had the same plan and you were not feeling yours anymore.  
The door opened and everyone entered the studio. You were seated in the third row and your seat was somewhat in the middle. It had a perfect view to the sofa where the honorable guests were going to sit. Graham Norton walked in, welcomed the audience and then started the show. You laughed at the kebab-joke, Wolverine working at the kebab-house and his “claws” becoming very handy at the job because he could make 6 lamb-kebabs at the same time. And of course you laughed at Michael Fassbender resembling a shark when he smiles. “Well, he does have nice teeth” you thought.

Then the guests arrived. First James McAvoy who greeted the audience with a boyish smile. He was wearing a black suit with narrow tie and white shirt. When he making the greetings-round, he scanned the crowd and suddenly he focused his blue eyes on you. You were clapping and cheering but you immediately froze when you saw him doing that.  
The next one was Michael Fassbender who also greeted the audience but he did not notice you, so you assumed that you had been only dreaming. “I mean, come on! James McAvoy? Why would he notice me?” you thought and buried all your hopes and dreams of the future together. You see, you had everything planned out, yes, the plan much like every other single woman’s plan in the room, anyway the plan… You had planned that you would sweep either James or Michael off their feet and then marriage would soon follow. Or not soon, but after going out for wonderful dates and the man of your dreams finally realizing that you were the one he wanted to share a lifetime with, you would get married and live happily ever after. Fine, yes, the sooner the better.

You shook your head. It was again the fangirly -side of you talking. “Like that would ever happen” you thought and concentrated to the show. They were joking about who being hotter and so on but you would had given the first place to both of the guys. Shared first place in the competition of hotness to James and Michael. Yes. And then it happened again; James looked at you and this time he winked his eye. Your heart almost stopped and every sound muffled away as you kept staring at him, the handsome Scotsman on the sofa next to the handsome Irishman. The third man, Australian Hugh Jackman was very handsome as well, but he did not rock your boat that much – no offence.  
James was joking about his place in the poll. He was stating that if he got someone drunk, then after some hours he would be on the top of the poll. You laughed knowing that he did not need to get you drunk to get to the top of your list. As far as you were concerned, he was there and if he kept giving you flirting stares, that you most likely were misunderstanding or then he most probably was flirting with the gorgeous blonde in the 4th row, right behind you, that bitch… the point being that if he kept giving you the long looks and smiles, he was going to win the first place in your personal poll and Michael had to settle with being the second.

By the time the show ended you were completely sold. You had decided not to be like this, because now you most likely bought a terribly large packet of ice cream and ate it straight from the packet while watching the X-men: First Class and fell asleep crying your eyes out… and probably woke up with the spoon sticking out from your eye because you had fallen asleep with the ice cream and snuggled it with terrible consequences. Your life was not the same, your heart was equally torn between James and Michael. 

You stood up and left after everyone had exited the studio. You felt empty because the night was over and your chances, if you ever had had some, were gone. Now you were supposed to go home and get some sleep, try to forget about the night and get on with your life. You would tell yourself that those guys were just normal guys and they most likely were just as jerks than every other guy in your neighborhood pub… although sure, Michael and James dressed better, most likely due to the stylist that they had hired, talked better, well due to the education of arts of course, were funnier, again they were entertainers by career! Surely they had to be funny and charming but did they have to be THAT funny and THAT charming?

You needed a drink. There, that was the case. Your heart was completely stolen and broken within a few hours so you needed a drink. Something strong, something bitter, something that went straight into your head and kept you from buying that ice cream and turning you into the most clichéd fan-girl… the most desperate and obsessed type of fan-girl, that you wanted to avoid. It was a terrible fate after all.

The cool London air greeted you and you decided to head to the nearest bar. The queue was longer than a light year. It went all the way around the corner but since you just wanted to get that drink, you decided to go there mostly because everyone else from the studio was going there as well, maybe it was the official after party -venue, and after 50 minutes of waiting in the cold wind you finally got in.  
You left your jacket to the cloakroom and went to the bar counter where you ordered a shot and a cocktail. You drank the shot very quickly and took the cocktail with you as you headed to the dance floor which was totally crowded at the moment. The song changed and most of the people abandoned the floor.

“Fine, more room for me to dance” you thought and sipped the drink. After a moment of dancing you felt someone touching your shoulder. You turned and got shocked completely when you saw Hugh Jackman standing in front of you. He leaned closer and greeted you in Australian accent. He invited you into his table because apparently there was one specific Scotsman who wanted a word with you. You were completely surprised, basically rendered speechless, but then managed to nod. He guided you into the table where you seated opposite to James McAvoy and next to Michael Fassbender.

\- Hi, I’m James! I saw you at the show. James said and stood up to shake your hand.  
\- Yeah-uhm, I-uhm was... was there alright. you said and smiled awkwardly as you shook his hand. The next one to formally introduce himself was Hugh Jackman and then finally also the icy Fassbender shook your hand as well.  
\- What’s your name? James asked and motioned the waitress to the table.  
\- What’s your poison, darling? he asked and you managed to mumble the waitress the name of your favorite drink. Then James ordered a round of beers for the guys and the waitress left.  
\- Yes… the name? James asked as soon as the waitress had left.  
\- I am… Uhm… you managed to stutter. You had literally forgotten your own name and now you were scanning every name in the hopes that one of them would sound somewhat familiar.  
\- Yes? Michael asked and put his hand on your knee. It was not helping.  
\- Just relax, we do not bite. he continued and smiled at you. You swallowed once and then answered  
\- (Y/N). I am (Y/N).  
\- Good! Now, tell me (Y/N)… Who in your opinion is the number one of that poll? James asked, leaned closer and stared deep into your eyes.  
\- I know it’s not me. I am too old for you, besides I am a married man. These two however are not. You should flatter either of them. Hugh Jackman commented although you were too drowned into the mysterious, blue depths of James’ eyes that you completely missed him saying that.  
\- Well? James asked and smiled a little. You blushed, but luckily there was not enough light for anyone to see that you had blushed so you were all-good, but he saw that you started to smile, that stupid giggly smile which you cursed. The worse poker face ever! There was no way not to smile; come on! James McAvoy was sitting right in front of you, leaning closer and focusing all of his attention to you as he stared into your eyes with a mesmerized look on his face.

\- I knew it! It is me! James exclaimed and smiled widely. You snapped out from it and shifted your gaze down to your empty glass. It had been a long time since you had felt so awkward. Your thoughts were disappearing from your head making you completely unable to form any kind of sentences yet alone making it possible for you to be the “cool and unreachable” that you had wanted to be. You had even practiced it in front of the mirror many times. You had perfected the "look" and now it was gone, completely disappeared from your memory leaving you with the giggly-mode which you hated. You felt shy and daring at the same time, like you had wanted to do both; to disappear under the table or start making funny victory moves because your dreams had become reality in the most unpredictable way possible.  
\- I did not know that this is a staring competition! Michael exclaimed. He put his hand on your chin and turned your head to face his so this time you were staring into his eyes. His eyes were much icier than James’ whose were like two deep oceans. Michaels eyes were ice and they pierced right trough you in the most fascinating way possible.  
\- I think I deserve a fair chance as well. he said with a soft tone and examined the look on your face. You were painfully aware of the hand that was gently massaging your knee and his other hand was still holding your chin making your head spinning for all that sudden attention. You drew back a little and then sighed. It was real, there you were, trying to decide which one of those two charmers was hotter. But how could you decide? 

Suddenly your mind calmed down. Maybe it was the alcohol that was finally kicking in or maybe you finally got a grip of the plan you had. You realized that you would not win anything if you behaved like you had no brain at all when actually the case was completely opposite. You had been invited into the table, you had not invaded it. It meant that at least James wanted you there and strangely enough even Michael was basically fighting for your attention. You chuckled in your own mind and then decided to try out your luck. You reasoned that this was a once in a lifetime kind of opportunity and if you played it right… you might actually get somewhere or at least get to know your idols a little better. Either way it would be fun and you would not lose anything. You could only win and if you did not try, you would not score a date in the first place. Besides, if your gamble did not pay out, you would not see either of the guys ever again anyway, because bumping randomly into them was highly unlikely... and most likely they had seen weirder fans before you and most likely would see weirder fans in the future.

Therefore you breathed in deeply and flashed a gorgeous smile that did not go unnoticed. The change in you was clear; when just a moment ago you had been a “giggly fan” now you had transformed yourself into a heartbreaker, a true image of self confidence which the guys found very attractive. It was a role that you had practiced, yes, but now you got it and you were going to see what was going to happen. You took a glance at James and bit your lip, then you shifted your eyes to Michael.

\- Gentlemen… you began with a voice that was calm and somewhat assertive.  
\- There is no way I can answer that question right now... you continued and took a quick look at both of them. You enjoyed seeing them so hooked, clearly waiting for what you were going to say next. “Shit, this is actually working” you thought and then continued  
\- … therefore you need to take me out… you added and smiled mysteriously before finishing the sentence by saying  
\- …so I can gather more material to base my answer on.  
The guys were silent for a moment and kept staring at you. Where was that giggly fan that they had invited to the table? Who was this confident woman, where did she come from? James swallowed once and then said  
\- Absolutely!  
Followed by Michaels  
\- Yeah, of course!


	2. Fire and Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You manage to keep your role on and enjoy the attention.

-Hm, interesting. you commented and focused your gaze to the waitress who was now bringing the drinks to the table. You decided not to drink yet because you did not want to seem like you had been waiting for the drink and most of all you did not want to reveal that you really needed one, now more than ever. You did not want to get drunk either because when you crossed that line from being comfortably sober but with lowered thresholds and boosted confidence you became a giggly clown which would had been a nightmare in your situation.

\- Oh come on, drink up! said James when you did not touch your drink. He kept having an intense eye contact with you at all times and his body language was extremely flirty, but in a playful way. He was not slimy or slick like some players, but his flirty-ness was light and warmhearted.  
\- Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr. McAvoy? you asked with playful smirk on your face. It was easy to go along with it because you knew that neither you were truly serious, at this point at least. You wanted to test your boundaries; how flirty could you go and still keep the straight face and what was the point where your role broke down. Besides you just wanted to have fun and enjoy the attention.  
\- Well, I have to increase my odds somehow… he commented and winked his eye at you. You could not help but smile widely, however you managed to keep your smile on the charming side without entering the creepy “omg-omg-omg-omg” –side. No, that was not your destination and you did not want to go there.  
\- Ah, I see where this is going but let me assure you, I am not one of those girls who you can just… buy… with drinks-  
\- I wasn’t-  
\- It takes a bit more. For example-  
\- Are you talking about a romantic getaway in Paris-  
\- Well… Or you could just ask me to dance. you answered and smiled charmingly. Sure you would love to go to Paris with James, but you did not want to seem like a gold digger, you were sure that they had met plenty of that kind of women. You however wanted to be that mysteriously charming, warm but distant, playful yet smart woman who knew what she wanted and was not afraid of asking for it as long as it was something reasonable, and a dance was more than reasonable, you reasoned.

\- Very well. I shall sweep you off your feet so badly that Michael will not stand a chance. James said, stood up, took one sip from his glass and then offered his hand to you. You took a deep, slow breath through your nose so you did not draw attention to yourself; the last thing you wanted was to blow your cover now because in your mind your role was cracking piece by piece and you tried to patch it up with paper glue and duct tape. You stood up and took his hand. Your heart was racing behind the cool exterior. It was basically pounding against your ribgage, trying to either break free or to accelerate to the speed that it would eventually, melt, boil and finally go puff into smoke.  
He looked deep into your eyes when he led you to the dance floor. You danced without touching each other for a while first and you were so lucky that you were pretty decent dancer. Your moves were sultry but never slutty. Then the dj put on a slow song. James smirked a little before placing his hand on your waist.

\- I knew you wanted me to get my hands on you. he stated confidently as he leaned closer, almost so close that he could had kissed you, that is if you had been following the 90-10 percent –rule; the man comes closer 90% of the distance and the woman the rest 10%. You however were not going to let him kiss you, not yet. You did not want to be easy or that type of fan who was willing to do anything to capture a famous person.  
\- Maybe. you said and smiled as you looked deep into his eyes. He was clearly waiting you to make the move.  
\- Or.. maybe I don’t. you whispered as you shifted yourself a little so you were talking right into your ear, so close that your lips accidently brushed his earlobe as you talked. You could sense him shivering and his grip tightened because he was pulling you closer. You felt electrified as you bathed in the warmth that was radiating from his body, this caused your breathing become shallower although you tried to stay calm. You were barely moving at the dance floor, just swaying in the rhythm, close to each other. Your hands rested on his shoulders and his were holding you by your waist. Suddenly he took your hand and motioned you to spin. You chucked and spun 2 times under his hand and then he pulled you back into the embrace.

\- What do you say if we ditch those two and leave this club? he asked after a long silence.  
\- I am afraid that I am not that kind of girl. you answered as softly as you could. You did not want to reject him entirely, just the part where you would become the “one night stand” to whom he might or might not call the morning after.  
\- And what kind of girl are you then? He asked curiously. The lights hit his eyes occasionally making them sparkle as he tried to figure you out. You looked into his eyes with a thoughtful, sincere look on your face and answered  
\- The one that you keep the rest of your life…  
\- Oh. That is a bold statement. he teased playfully and bent you backwards a little. The action made you gasp for air and unintentionally bite your lip because a sudden movement like that really made the butterflies fly around in your stomach rather furiously. Your breathing had gotten somewhat shallow as you were leaning backwards and James was holding you so you couldn’t fall on the floor.  
\- Maybe, but… if you’re not interested… I can always ask Michael to dance. you replied after you had recovered and were actually able to think and form understandable sentences again. James lifted you back up from the most clichéd tango bend ever. However, no matter how clichéd it was, it was enough to melt your heart a little.  
\- You should forget about Michael. He is not your type. James stated as he stared into your eyes intensely. There was no escape, no place to hide from those eyes. Besides his whole presence was emitting such warmth and attraction that the thought crossed your mind for a moment. Maybe you should actually forget about Michael. However you shook yourself out from the enchantment and asked  
\- Then who is?  
\- Me, obviously. James answered with a wide smile on his face. The smile however changed into a playful smirk when he noticed you blushing just a little as the bright lights hit your face. He was courteous enough not to point that out though.  
\- And what makes you say that? you asked and casually brushed a lock of his hair off his face without touching his skin with your fingertips. James could feel your touch but only indirectly.

\- Your heart would not be beating that fast if I wasn’t. he stated.  
You chuckled a little. It was true, he was holding you so close that he could easily feel your heartbeat against his chest and almost hear it as well. He liked the way you talked and smiled, how you looked slightly upwards when you were thinking and the way you chuckled as a response with your eyes closed for a moment as you shook your head just a little. All these things he found very fascinating and he wanted to know more.  
\- I admit nothing. you stated and laughed loudly so your body shook against his.  
\- Forget about Michael… come home with me and I’ll keep you forever. he whispered after you had calmed down and returned close to him.  
\- You’re not afraid a little competition, Mr. McAvoy, are you?  
\- No, most definitely I am not… Mostly because I know that I am going to win. he answered. His tone was playfully confident and he even chuckled between the words a couple of times.  
\- Oh… you’re being overly confident. It might come and bite you in the ass. you commented.  
\- I was kind of hoping that you would. he joked and made you laugh again.  
\- Patience! you exclaimed as you continued laughing. James liked your laughter. It was honest and poured out from your mouth like music. When he made you laugh he patted himself on his shoulder for the job well-done.  
\- One thing you should know about me, if you’re going to take me out… you added after you had calmed down and stopped laughing.  
\- Go on, reveal your secrets. he mumbled into your ear softly. He had to lean very close so you were even able to hear him talking, the music was very loud and keeping up a conversation was challenging.  
\- I like gentlemen. Are you a gentleman, Mr. McAvoy? you asked and drew back a little so you could look into his eyes when he answered you. You wanted to see how he would react.  
\- Always. As you can see, I am not even grapping your ass… he answered. You chuckled a bit with your eyes closed and then smiled as you opened them and shifted your gaze back into James’ eyes.  
\- Yes, I noticed and I appreciate it. you answered.  
\- Good. Now… Shall we give Michael a chance as well? I mean, before you are utterly charmed by me.  
\- Very well… you said and followed him back to the table. 

Michael was currently having a conversation with Hugh and they were laughing about something when you returned to the table. Then they both shifted their attention to you.  
\- Your turn, mate. James said and sat down. He straightened his tie and drank half of his pint with one long gulp. He still monitored you and whenever he had a chance, he either smiled or winked his eye at you. It made concentrating very hard so you had to motion him to cool down a little at some point.  
\- Are you seriously expecting me to compete for you? Michael asked and looked deep into your eyes. Your heart almost stopped when he moved his hand on your knee again. His gaze was almost interrogating and if you had not been sitting already, your feet would had given in for sure and you would had found yourself on the floor or under the table.  
\- You don’t have to, but it would be a shame not to see what you have in your sleeves. Mr. McAvoy was pretty impressive. you answered and held your ground firmly. You ignored the fact totally that his hand had moved a little bit higher and was now caressing your lower inner thigh. Then he suddenly removed his hand and said  
\- Fine, but it is only because there is something about you… that is fake… and I am going to find out what that is.  
Michael stared deep into your eyes with his gaze that prevented you from moving and almost from breathing as well. However you did not break even though you could feel him reading you like an open book.  
\- Fake-huh? you asked defiantly and lifted your chin up a little.  
\- Yes. May I talk with you in private? he asked. His voice was quite emotionless although quite soft. It was a strange mixture of friendliness and attack. The combination fascinated you, or should you say “Fassynated” and made your heart skip a beat or two.  
\- Sure. you answered and stared into his eyes even more intensity, you liked to challenge him. That was the difference between James and Michael; the first one was playful and it was easy to go with the lighthearted flirt, the second however was somewhat distant and colder but you liked the way he challenged you and still managed to engage you with his presence. 

Michael stood up and then guided you from your back out from the club. He told the bouncer that you two were returning soon and gave him a 10£ bill so you did not have to wait in line on your way back. He walked you behind the corner to a dark, silent alley.  
\- So? you asked and he pushed you against the brick wall. He locked your hands against the wall with his and said with an assertive tone  
\- First you are a giggly little girl and suddenly you are a confident woman. Tell me, which one is really you.  
You swallowed and held your breath. There was no escape from those ice-blue eyes that penetrated into your soul and made it very hard to keep the role. You were unable to answer anything because the situation was so intense. His hands felt warm and soft on your wrists when again the brick wall was cold and rough and if you had moved even a bit, it would had scratched your skin for sure.  
\- I knew it! You might fool the Scotsman but I see you. Michael stated. His tone was almost offensive but you did not get that easily offended. 

\- And what do you see, Mr. Fassbender? you asked with a serious tone as you examined his eyes and tried to figure out whether he was looking for the actual truth or did he just want to point out how fake you were. If it was the first, you were impressed and maybe willing to show him the real you, not the giggly stupid you but the warm and honest real-you, but if it was the latter, you would hold on to the role until the day you went up into the sky as smoke.  
\- I see a woman who is trying very hard not to blush which means that you’re not as cool as you try to appear. he analyzed with annoyingly cool tone. You had to remind yourself constantly that he was a professional in keeping a role and surely noticed the small cracks in yours. Besides, he could hide his personal feelings completely and you would not know what was going on in his head.  
\- Uhuh? you commented defiantly. Your defiance was the cool, subtle kind. It was there keeping your distance from Michael even though he was so very close that you could his warmth radiating from his body, not to forget his strong hands that were still keeping your hands against the wall.

\- So tell me… what kind of person you really are.  
\- I am something in between, a combination of them both perhaps. Why don’t you find out yourself?  
\- I will, but only because I like challenges… and winning. he stated.  
\- Winning what exactly? Mr. McAvoy? My heart? you asked with a puzzled look on your face. You were challenging him now and you could easily see why he liked to challenge you, it was fun.  
\- Both but the question is, (Y/N), are you too afraid to play? You see, in this game, someone might get hurt.  
\- Oh, you’ll get over it. you teased and bit your lip which made him shift his eyes from yours onto your lips. It was getting obvious that he wanted to kiss you or maybe he wanted you to think that he wanted you.  
\- Don’t tell me that James swept you off your feel already. He is not that good dancer. he stated and shifted his eyes back into yours.  
\- How do you know? Have you tried?  
\- No… but I will if that improves my odds.  
\- You really want to win. you mumbled as you kept making your notes about his personality and memorized the way he shifted his eyes for a fraction of a moment when he tried to come up with a witty, challenging comeback to something that you said. You found him very engaging indeed. Then he spoke with soft voice  
\- Well, can you blame me? The price, after all, is-  
\- Price? Ah… that’s where you get it wrong. You see, I am not just a notch in your bedpost…  
\- Who said that I want to take you to bed? Although, now that you brought it up, I think it could be fun. he commented and smirked at you mischievously.  
\- This might come as a shocker, Mr. Fassbender, but not every woman wants to sleep with you. you said with a defiant smile and released your hands. You pushed him gently away and said  
\- Now… I believe my drink is getting warm.  
You flashed a wide smile at him as he weighted your words, your body language as well as your tone. He was not completely sure if you had rejected him completely or did this mean that he had to just try harder. You motioned Michael to follow you back into the bar. “Oh come on!” you said and laughed. He chuckled and then followed you. Now he knew that he was still in the game.

You told him that you would check your face quickly and then return to the table, Michael nodded with a smile on his face and said “see you soon” as he disappeared into the crowd. You walked into the bathroom, luckily it was large so there was no queue. The previous shot and the drink that you had bought for yourself had almost worn out already. You took a couple of deep breaths and leaned onto the sink as you stared down. Then you lifted your gaze and stared at yourself directly. Your makeup was perfect –fortunately! All you needed was a touch of lipstick and you were good to go. You closed your eyes for a moment and let your mind that you had kept in check almost an hour already to wander away. You left the bathroom and floated through the crowds getting closer to the table where your two suitors were supposed to be waiting for you. When you finally found the right table, it was empty. Fuck!


	3. A little slip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is getting harder to keep the role...

You recoiled from your thoughts when a drunken woman accidentally walked into you on her way out from the bathroom. You had been deep in your thoughts and imagined yourself leaving the bathroom and getting ditched but luckily when you opened your eyes and stared at yourself in the mirror again you realized that it had not really happened. “Alright, you can do this. You can freaking do this and do it like a boss” you mumbled to yourself only half aloud. Then you checked your teeth that they did not have any lipstick on them and after you nodding at yourself as assurance, you left the bathroom. You fought your way through the crowd and tried to remember where the table was.

You saw James waving at you since he had spotted you and you looked slightly lost. You straightened your dress, walked to the table and sat down. You drank your drink to the halfway, the ice cubes were long gone already but the drink was still quite cool and you enjoyed it very much. Michael leaned closer and mumbled into your ear  
\- I was afraid that I scared you away. It took you longer than I had expected.  
\- Are you saying that you missed me already? you asked and turned to look at him. He was smirking at you and felt his hand on your knee again. You focused your attention to James and Hugh and asked them questions about the normal, not stardom-lives just to keep the friendly, casual conversation going when in the meantime Michael was again caressing your inner thigh and his hand was sneakily nearing the hem of your dress, which was quite short.  
\- James? you said suddenly and slapped Michaels hand playfully so he removed it from your thigh and returned to rest it on your knee.  
\- Yes, (Y/N)? James answered. His full attention was all yours again.  
\- Perhaps another dance? you suggested, stood up and offered your hand to him.

You enjoyed dancing with James very much. He was not all over you but kept a respectful distance, most of the times that was. Sometimes however he pulled you into his embrace and held you close as you danced. You both sang together with the music and occasionally you were being your slightly goofy self, in the adorable way. It was the effect that James had on you. Michael on the other hand was more daring when he touched you. His touch felt almost dangerous and you had mixed feelings about him being so arrogant; on the other hand you liked the danger of getting caught since he was having a casual conversation with James when in the meantime his got lost on your thigh over and over. But then again you felt bad for James because he most likely knew what was happening under the table. Well, nothing was happening and James had gotten his fair share of holding you close, but Michael was never there, right in front of you staring. Michael however was making his move right under James’ watchful eyes and it made you feel bad for James. Therefore you decided that it was your time to leave and go home.

\- Well, gentlemen, I think it is my time to go home. It is getting late and I still want to grab a bite at a grill before taking the bus home.  
\- Alright… I think it’s my cue. James said and stood up. You looked at him with a question on your face.  
\- Oh come on! Someone has to make sure that you’ll get home safely! he exclaimed when you chuckled and shook your head.  
\- I don’t have to come inside, you know. he continued and winked his eye at you. You took your pen out from your purse and wrote your number on a coaster. You gave it to Hugh Jackman and said  
\- If these guys can behave the rest of the night, you may give my number to them, or the one who behaves. It was a pleasure. you said and offered your hand for a handshake. You however shook hands only with Hugh and then nodded at James and Michael. Then you wished them all goodnight, left the table and disappeared into the crowd. You went to get your jacket from the cloakroom and after getting it you walked out. You closed your eyes for a moment and breathed in the cool night air of London.

In the meantime at the table James was sipping his drink nervously. He was trying to decide whether to run after you or not. He stroked his hair and drummed the table lightly with his hands.  
\- She was something alright. Michael said and focused on his beer.  
\- Yep. James commented and tried to see if you were anywhere to be found.  
\- Are you seriously thinking about running after her? Michael chuckled. He had liked to play with you and tease you a little but he was going to let it be. In his opinion you were very attractive, slightly annoying and he knew that most likely your little act had been practiced and perfected so if the opportunity opened, you were ready. He in a way had liked the way you had challenged him but then again, his ego had been bruised a little when you had stated that did not want him. It had clearly been a lie and it was very arrogant of you to lie to him.  
\- Oh fuck it! James said and stood up. He had his jacket with him so he stormed out from the bar and straight to the street where you were getting your fair share of fresh air.

\- (Y/N)! you heard someone calling you and you recoiled from your thoughts. You were quite tired and your feet hurt since you did not wear high heels so often. You heard your name being called again and turned to see who was the owner of that strangely familiar voice.  
\- I see you waited for me! James said when he walked to you.  
\- Yeah, sure. you commented sarcastically. You were getting very tired of the whole role that you had been playing but you decided to push through the night like a pro although you were more than lured to be yourself now that you were alone with the Scottish charmer.  
\- So is it my place or yours?  
\- The grill… and now that you’re here, you get to take me for a “dinner”. you said with a smirk on your face and air-quoted the word “dinner” with your fingers.  
\- How about we go to my place… because I have just something to fill your mouth with…  
\- Ha! Nice try!  
\- What!? My fridge is full! I think there is even a big sausage if you want to fill your mouth with meat-  
\- I really don’t… unless it is a hamburger at a grill nearby. Take it or leave it.  
\- I see- he said and looked at you with a thoughtful look on his face. He was clearly evaluating his chances to score with you tonight. His chances looked quite slim but he decided to see where this would go if he stayed around.

\- And I get to choose the grill. you added to your conditions.  
\- Oh? Isn’t that supposed to be my privilege to choose the place since I am pay-  
\- Let’s get one thing straight; you’re not paying-  
\- I’m not? he asked with a surprised tone.  
\- No, but you’re making sure that I will not get in any fights. you answered and smirked.  
\- Oh I see, are you trying to get my ass kicked?  
\- Yeah sure. you joked. James however looked at you with an offended or shocked look on his face, like was not quite sure whether it was only joke or something else.  
\- No of course not! you exclaimed and let your role break for a moment.  
\- I am not a monster, gosh! you stated. The look on James’ face did not change. You stared at him and suddenly you felt bad for offending him. James after all had been very friendly towards you the entire night and now you had clearly crossed a line. You knew that you were supposed to be the strong and independent woman who was just the right amount of cool and cruel but you never had wanted to hurt anyone… well, if someone then maybe Michael because he was being an ass, not even him that much.  
\- I’m sorry, alright? I was just trying to jok-  
\- Ha-haa, I got you! he exclaimed and started to laugh. You stared at him with wide eyes. You were having a hard time to get back into your role since you had been sincerely worried and sorry for insulting him although apparently he had been only playing you. You stayed silent and nodded once as you processed the whole situation in your head.  
\- Hey, it’s alright. James said and smiled. He put his hand on your shoulder. At that instant you snapped back into your little role and stated

\- For screwing me over… you’ll pay for the dinner! you teased and smirked at James who was a little confused for such sudden change in your mood. He answered “sure” and then you walked slowly to the nearest grill. If you had not been wearing your high heels the entire night you would had said that the first place did not please you, but since your feet really hurt, you were ready to eat anything as long as you had a chance to sit down for a moment. However the place that you came across the first did not have any chairs but at that point you were happy with stairs or anything. You would even sit on James if he offered, or even if he didn’t. James bought you both hamburgers and lemonades but only one fries so you could share them.  
\- Oh! That is so sweet! You got me fries! you exclaimed and smiled widely.  
\- Actually, these are for me, but you can hav- he joked and stopped when you stole some fries and dipped them into ketchup.  
\- You were saying? you asked and smirked at his exaggerated shocked expression. He chuckled in return. His laughter was cut short when he saw you sitting on the stairs. In his world no woman in a nice dress like yours would had sat basically on the ground.

\- Haven’t you seen a woman sit before? you asked and tapped the place next to you. James smirked and sat down. He was sitting slightly apart from you but when some random people were coming down the stairs he decided to give them more space and moved to sit closely side by side with you. For a moment you shared a lively conversation about food, just like two normal people. It was quite funny; you analyzed the burger and gave it three stars, James however rated his burger with four stars and complimented the fries because they were not soggy. Therefore you found the soggiest, saddest of them all and teased him with it.  
James laughed and took another potato that has been swimming in ketchup. He tried to shove it into your mouth and you tried to do the same with the saddest one there was. You managed to make him eat the potato because he was laughing and he had decided to succeed as well. He rubbed the potato against your closed mouth and kept saying how you should be a good girl and eat your fries. He kept on laughing at you because the ketchup was getting smudged around your mouth as you fought back.  
You were trying to hold back your laughter because if you laughed, you would open your mouth and if you opened your mouth, James would succeed. The situation however was getting too funny so you just had to give in. You laughed with your eyes closed and the potato in your mouth without realizing that your role was long gone and you were having fun with James as your own self.

Slowly you both calmed down and ended up staring at each other. You were both smiling and as you were about to turn your head away, he put his hand on your jaw and kept you facing him. His hand was soft and warm. You were aware of the fact that you had ketchup on your face and you had planned to find a napkin from your purse, but now your mind was occupied because the moment was so magical; you had been having fun as yourself, laughing so much that you had almost tears in your eyes, and now it felt that the time had stopped completely. All the sounds had muffled away and all you could see was James.  
He leaned closer, the entire 100 percent and closed his eyes. Suddenly his lips were on yours and you closed your eyes as a reaction to his actions. First he did not move his lips at all but then he moved his upper lip between yours and softly guided you to open your mouth a little so he was able to kiss your lower lip and nibble it playfully a couple of times. Then he chuckled and pulled back.

\- You taste of ketchup. he mumbled and finished his drink. You had not expected him to kiss you, no, not at all, but it had been nice. Playful and very nice and to be honest, the situation had required him to do that.  
\- So is it my place or yours? he asked casually. You were brought back on earth from the clouds that you had been floating in. You took your purse, found your mirror and a napkin, sighed inside your head and then cleaned your face. Luckily the ketchup smudges were only around your mouth so they were easy to clean.  
You were getting seriously tired of the freaking role and honestly, you were disappointed. You had been yourself for a moment and all James could think about was to get home with you. He clearly was attracted to the fake-you, or it was not fake, it was just fake-right-now.

\- I would suggest my place because I have this award that I would like to show you… it is in the bedroom…  
\- Do you always store your awards in bedroom? you asked but your tone was different. You sounded tired and slightly fed up and he noticed it now.  
\- I… do… Don’t actually. he corrected himself, not really sure if you were in the mood for jokes or flirt anymore.  
\- Yeah, because that would be… weird. you mumbled.  
\- Listen… I’ve had fun but I think it is time for me to go home. Alone. you continued with overly polite and formal tone. It was obvious that you were annoyed that he kept trying and he was actually surprised that you were not telling him to go screw himself because you really seemed bothered now although you did your best to cover it.  
\- Oh… he commented. It was getting clear that he was not going to score tonight. He figured that what he would do next would really show you the true nature of his character and attentions.  
\- We’re not that far from the bar and it is not that late yet. You could just go back, you know. you suggested. It was true, you had walked only a couple of blocks and it was not even 2 AM yet.

\- Oh… It’s okay. What if I’ll just make sure that you’ll get home safely? What do you say? he asked and his tone was surprisingly not-flirty and sincere. On top of all his expression was also sincere and there was a kind smile on his face.  
\- Oh-I don’t know… you mumbled. You had not expected him to be so sincerely concerned about your safety.  
\- I promise to be a gentleman and I also promise that I will not try to get into your bed, tonight at least. he said, the last part quite playfully in a very James-like way and examined your expressions. He noticed that you hesitated.  
\- Come on. No loud music, no flashing lights, no bullshit.  
\- Okay. But I really am not in the mood-  
\- Yeah, sure! I’ll just get you home safely. he said and helped you to stand. You walked slowly side by side, mostly silently but the silence was not awkward. You had always hoped to meet someone you could be silent with so you did not have to think about topics to talk about constantly.

\- I must apologize on behalf of Michael. James said suddenly.  
\- Why? you asked with a surprised tone.  
\- For that “fake” –comment. Don’t get me wrong, he is a good guy and I love him, but you did not deserve that.  
\- Nah, it’s alright. Maybe I was being a little fake.  
\- Oh really? What are you then really like?  
\- I don’t know… Like this maybe. I can be many things… I mean, I am quite versatile. From the giggly fan to the confident woman. But when we were talking about food… playing with the fries… that was me.  
\- Oh… I liked that person! he commented with a delighted tone. You smiled and chuckled a little.  
\- But why are you giving away your secret? he asked curiously.  
\- Well, you happen to be here and I happen to be tired. This is like that one slip that you never saw and we’ll never talk about. you stated playfully and stopped. You had arrived to your apartment building and it made you slightly nervous; what if he kept on pushing? You really were not in the mood of playing hard to get in the flirty way, so if he tried anything from now on, it would be just a “plain-no”.

\- So this is me. Thank you for walking me home. You did not have to… although I am sure you saved me from getting mugged and robbed… Ha-ha… you joked. James chuckled since you had not encountered anyone since you had left the surroundings of the bar; it was obvious that you would have gotten home safely by yourself. He mumbled “yeah, such a savior”.  
\- But… I appreciate that you did. you said with a soft tone and did not dare to look into James’ eyes. He put his hand on your cheek and caressed it with his thumb.  
\- Yes… I like this person. he said and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead. You closed your eyes and smiled as he did that because the “move” did not make you feel like he still tried to score with you, not tonight at least, but you felt that he actually appreciated you as a person.  
\- So… Hugh has your number and I should get it from him if I have behaved well… Have I behaved well enough? he asked after he had stepped a bit further away from you.  
\- Or… I could give it to you myself. you suggested with a smile on your face.  
\- Yeah… I’d like that…  
\- And it would be easier that way. you added. James chuckled “yes, it would” and then took his phone out from his pocket. You said your number to him and he saved it. Then he called for a cab because he was living on the other side of the city. You decided to wait for the ride with James and you sat side by side on the stairs by the sidewalk. He was mostly silent and so were you.  
When the cab arrived he stood up, thanked you for a lovely evening and waved with a wide smile on his face. You stood up and smiled in return. When the car drove away you went in, got a quick shower and got in bed. At this point you did not care if Michael called you or not, as long as James did. With these thoughts you fell asleep.

You woke up around noon when your phone rang. You took your phone and stared at the screen with eyes that were still somewhat half asleep. There was only a number which you did not recognize. Your heart stopped as you realized that it most likely was James who was calling you. You felt a sudden boost of adrenaline waking you up and then you answered the call.  
\- (Y/N).  
\- Morning…  
The accent was not James’ accent and you were both confused and disappointed.  
\- Who is this? you asked.  
\- It’s Michael…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to Pilvi as a thank you for your comment on the chapter 2 :D
> 
> Screw Mikke, eh? :'D


	4. Beyond reason and rational thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael calls you and your day takes a trip on the weirder side.

Michael had stared his friend storming after you. He had chuckled “what a joke” into his pint and finished it. He had continued chatting with Hugh Jackman and then some women had come to say “hi” and wanted to get selfies with the stars. The women had left when either of the guys had not warmed up to them, not even Michael mostly because the women had been drunk and one of them had tried to sit onto Michaels lap without even asking.

\- You know who did not behave like that… Hugh pointed out and finished his beer.  
\- Hm…  
\- Why do you dislike (Y/N) so much? he asked Michael curiously.  
\- I don’t dislike her! Michael said and sighed.  
\- Give me that number… he muttered and extended his hand to Hugh’s direction.  
\- Maybe I should not give you it. Hugh stated and took the coaster out from his pocked. He examined your handwriting as he turned the coaster teasingly around in front of his eyes. He thought about James, what would be fair considering him and how he had followed you. He had not come back either so Hugh reasoned that James had actually managed to convince you about letting him to walk you home.  
\- Why? Michael asked.  
\- Because James is a good man, come on!  
\- I am a good man too!  
\- Sure, but James took his chances and-  
\- Just give me the number. I am sure James will not mind a little competition. Besides it will help him to keep his act fresh. Everybody wins!  
\- I am not sure if I agree with your logic, Michael. Maybe it is for the best if I’ll just-  
Hugh said and at that moment Michael stood up, bent over the table and stole the coaster from his hand. Hugh sighed and shook his head as Michael stared at the numbers very closely. He mumbled “oh I shall shake things up a little” and smirked at Hugh as he put the number in the pocket of his jacket.  
\- Fine, mate, but remember that you’re playing with people-  
\- Yep.  
\- …with feelings.  
\- I am aware of that, thank you very much.  
\- So maybe you should just let it be.  
\- Relax, old man! Let (Y/N) decide.  
\- I don’t like this, Michael.

Soon after that the remaining guys had gone home; Michael to his apartment and Hugh to his hotel. Michael had kept staring at the number during the entire taxi-drive home. He returned in his thoughts to the moment when he had trapped you between himself and the brick wall. There had been a strange spark in your eyes that could not be faked and it had captured his mind… as well as your smile.  
Michael had kept rolling in the bed debating with himself whether he should call you or not. He was slightly jealous at James who had most likely scored with you-  
\- No, he did not. There is no way he did! he stated to himself aloud as he stared into the darkness. Mostly he wanted to play and challenge James but then again there was something about you that had captured his attention. Something about you was occupying his mind and driving him insane because he could not shift his thoughts anywhere else. Then finally he had fallen asleep.

In the morning, when he had woken up, he had thought about you again. You were the first thought in his mind and he had to call you. First time when he called you, you had not answered. It had been about 9 AM so he had reasoned that you were still sleeping. Then a worry had crossed his mind like a dark cloud when he had realized that maybe you were with James. Maybe James had taken you home and you had asked him to stay.  
\- No… (Y/N) would not do that to me. he had thought and then scolded himself for assuming that he meant anything to you. Besides he did not want to be attracted to you and in a way he was not… but then again… He had groaned and rolled in his bed. After a couple of hours later he had decided to call you again. “Surely she is awake already, it is almost midday” he had thought as he tapped the call –log of his phone and called you again.

\- (Y/N). you had answered.  
\- Morning… he had said with soft tone and waited you to greet him back. Then he had gotten surprised when you had not recognized his voice and asked “who is this?”  
\- It’s Michael…  
\- Oh! Uhm… good morning. you said with husky morning voice.  
\- Were you waiting someone else to call? he asked and waited you to give any hints of whether James had won the competition already before he had even gotten a chance to interfere.  
\- No! No… not at all. you exclaimed although it was a lie. You had hoped that it had been James who called.  
\- Are you surprised that I called? he asked and again he waited.  
\- Uhm… In the matter of fact… yes. you answered and stared at the wall with a puzzled look on your face.  
\- Figured. Michael commented. A silence followed and he thought what you would look in your pajama, in your bed among your pillows and blankets. The silence continued until he heard you asking  
\- So you behaved well?  
\- Well enough-  
\- Or did you steal the coaster?  
Michael started to laugh, that was exactly what had happened and he was surprised that you had guessed.  
\- Oh you did! you exclaimed.  
\- You are one sneaky Irishman. So… Why did you call?  
\- Would you believe me if I said that I could not stop thinking about you? he asked. His tone had a hint of irony it and it was obvious that he was not believing it even himself. It was your turn to start laughing. Michael listened to your laughter and he did not know whether it was a good thing that you laughed or not.

\- Well would you? he asked again and you realized that he was being serious.  
\- Really?  
\- Yes. So how did it go with James? he asked suddenly. He tried to cover his jealousy and his growing need to know whether you had spent your night with him or not.  
\- Uhm… He got me home safely-  
\- Stayed the night?  
\- Ha! Like I would tell you!  
A silence followed. Michael did not know how to respond. He had not thought that you would had actually asked James over but then again, he did not know you. His first expression could had been wrong and you might actually be a person who hooked up with guys on the first date.

\- But no. you answered and proved his first impression correct. He was pleased to hear you say that word. That sweet “no” that meant that he had some chances to show you that he was also a pretty decent guy, although he wanted you to see him in a slightly different way.  
\- Oh, this is interesting! Michael commented with a smirk on his face.  
\- Why? he heard you asking. You sounded suspicious and reserved.  
\- Because it means that I am still in the game.  
\- Hm! you chuckled. A silence followed again until he asked  
\- Where are you? he asked after a silence.  
\- Home…  
\- Still in bed?  
\- Maybe…  
\- Are you thinking about me?  
\- What kind of question is that? I am talking with you on the phone, of course I am thinking about you… you answered and then cursed. You wanted to throw the phone against the wall but decided to save the situation instead, after all, you liked your phone.

\- I mean this conversation. you clarified and listened what Michael would answer.  
\- Well… I am in bed as well. Funny thing, I think you should come here.  
\- Come there? you asked. He heard that you were surprised.  
\- Yes.  
\- Why would I come there? you said. He listened and analyzed your tone. You sounded slightly doubtful and like you were not believing your ears, but there was a hint of curiosity in your voice and the fact that you had not hung up was a good sign.  
\- Well obviously to spend time with me…  
\- In bed? you said and your voice sounded annoyed. He answered  
\- Sure…  
… or then not. but continued immediately since you did not seem too enthusiastic about the bed -part. 

You thought about his suggestion for a moment and then answered “fine”. He said that he would order a couple of pizzas and text you the address. After telling him what kind of pizza you liked you hung up and got out from bed. There was something in his voice that lured you, it was soft but dangerous, filled with adventure and thrills. You did not usually settle dates to anyone’s home but you reasoned that since Michael was a famous person, he would not most likely try anything against your will because surely he was afraid of bad publicity.  
You got dressed in rather casual clothes, put a little bit makeup and sorted up your hair. After 15 minutes you got a text message with an address and confirmation that the pizza had been ordered. You had been almost sure that he had been only joking but when you got the message from Michael with address, you figured that you had no chance to chicken out now.

You checked the route and got into the bus. Then you stopped at a shop and bought a bag of candies to take with you and a bottle of cola to go with the pizza before hopping on a different bus. You arrived to Michaels apartment at the same time with the pizza delivery. The guy who delivered the pizzas looked many times over his shoulder when you followed him. When he got to the right door you stayed behind him, a bit further away. Michael paid the pizzas and the guy left the door open for you as he left. You decided to stay in the hallway until you were invited in. You leaned onto the wall and took your phone out from your pocket when it rang.

\- Hi, the pizzas came, where are you?  
\- Why don’t you ask me in?  
he heard you saying but the voice was coming from both the hallway as well as from the phone. Therefore he walked to his entrance hall and saw you standing in the doorway. You pursed up your lips and hung up the phone.  
\- What are you standing there? Come in! Michael said. He looked stunning in loose gray pants and a deep blue t-shirt. You came in and closed the door. You had no idea why you were there. You never did anything even remotely like this and now you were in taking off your jacket.

\- Then go to the living room. I have a movie ready to begin.  
\- Oh? Alright. you said and curiously looked around as you walked in the apartment searching for the living room. You were carrying the bottle of cola and the candies with you and put them on the table that was in front of a comfortable –looking sofa. Michael had a nice apartment. It was modern and very spacious. The color palette was well thought and everything kind of matched. You decided to sit down because you were in the role again; you were confident, or what you were not was nervous. Soon Michael came carrying the pizza that had been cut into slices. You made a little room on the table and looked at him curiously. He sat down not too close to you, put a piece of a pizza on a place and gave it to you.

\- So what am I doing here? you asked and put the plate on the table.  
\- Well… I got a copy of the new X-men movie…  
\- The Days of Future Past?  
\- Yes… And I wondered that maybe you would like to see it before it hits the cinemas.  
You were surprised, deeply flattered even. You had not expected… well you had no idea what you had even expected! You had no reasonable reason why you even had gone there. Maybe it had been your yearning for adventure and danger in your life and Michael was just that. You had been curious, maybe a little star-struck as well. There was something in his voice that made it impossible to think clearly and now there you were; sitting on his sofa about to watch a movie that had not been released anywhere yet.  
\- But why am I here? you asked and this time you emphasized the word “I”.  
Michael took a slice of pizza and bit a big bite of it. He did not answer you, he just ignored the whole question entirely and stared at the opening credits since he had put the bluray –disk into the player already before you had even arrived.

\- Tell me why you invited me over or I’ll leave. you said and stared at him staring now at you. You did not know if you would really leave if he called your bluff. You really did not want to leave but you wanted to get an answer.  
\- Why did you come? he asked instead of answering.  
\- I don’t know. you replied and turned your head so you were now staring at the TV. You sat there silently with Michael watching the movie. The movie was entertaining, by the midway you had relaxed a little and even sat in a more relaxed way. You dared to laugh and comment the movie occasionally, Michael did the same. For your surprise he did not make the arm-stretching-move or did not try anything else either, in a way you were a little disappointed and confused, also strangely relieved.

The movie ended. You helped him to get the dishes into the kitchen. You had not really talked about anything after the movie and during the movie you had only commented the events in it. Now you were standing in his kitchen and watching him putting the plates into the dishwasher. Suddenly your phone rang. You took it out from your pocket and stared at the screen. Michael walked in front of you and took your phone, muted the call and put it on the table, screen down.

You did not know what to do, you were almost like you had been under a spell. The way he looked at you was enough to make your feet melt and head spin. His cold eyes scanned your every expression and you were not able to resist his gaze. He put his hand on your neck and guided your chin up. After staring at you like that he tangled his fingers into your hair and pulled them gently but with such intensity however that you felt that there was no escape. He pressed you closer with his elbow that was pressed against your upper back as he kept staring at you.  
Then finally he leaned closer and pressed his lips on yours. You sighed and as he started to explore your lips with his you followed his lead like you had been a shadow. The kiss was quite emotionless and cold but you were curious enough to let him take you beyond reason and rational thoughts. 

He pulled back for a moment and then shifted you a little so he was able to push you against the kitchen wall. He locked your hands again, the same way he had done the previous evening but this time he leaned closer and continued kissing you, this time slightly more passionately. Then he suddenly, without a warning drew back and left you standing against the wall breathless. You touched your lips that were still tingling from the kiss, thanked for the movie and left his apartment. It was one of those “what the actual fuck” –moments but somehow you knew you would be in deep trouble in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly wtf :D blame the music, was listening to Arty - Poison for lovers
> 
> This chapter is for #TeamMikke*, especially for Lovelygirl2406, thank you for comments! I hope you liked this :D
> 
> *TeamMikke = TeamFassy


	5. Date with James

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So James finally calls you...

You got into the bus and stared at the apartment building as you drove past it. The weather was turning rainy and you had no umbrella with you. It had been fairly sunny day when you had left the apartment but now the wind promised rain and storm even. When you were almost home your phone rang again. This time there was no Michael to mute the call or take the phone away from you. You were listening to music with headphones so you just answered the call by pressing the hands-free –answer button without checking out who the caller was. Your head was still spinning from the visit at Michaels apartment and as you were deep in your thoughts, you just automatically answered the phone without even realizing it yourself. Your music just suddenly stopped and then there was a Scotsman on the other end greeting you.

\- Hi! you exclaimed and suddenly the previous night seemed to be much more recent than then the happenings of past hour. Michael faded away from your mind and you started to smile instantly.  
\- So I was wondering…  
\- What were you wondering, James? you asked with a curious voice as you stared out from the window into the gray city.  
\- Well I was wondering that maybe you would like to go out with me tomorrow. I know I probably should had waited a little longer to even make this call so-  
\- Tomorrow?  
\- …I would not seem like a total stalker or anything-  
\- No, I’m… happy that you called. you said and pressed the stop –button.  
\- …but it’s just that I think you are pretty amazing and I know that Michael will make his move-  
\- Why do you think that he… would? you asked and got out when the bus stopped. It was slightly awkward to talk about Michael with James so you rather avoided the topic.  
\- …so therefore… Oh… Well obviously because he was all over you… James answered. His tone was a little jealous although he tried to cover the it.  
\- Ah, that… I have no idea what is going on in his head. Let’s not talk about him. you suggested. It was really, really awkward to talk about Michael with James, especially when you were just getting home from Michaels place.  
\- Good, yes, no… So… would you like to accompany me tomorrow for a Sunday brunch? James asked.  
\- Yet another “food date”…  
\- Well… I thought that since you were being yourself when food was involved therefore a brunch would be the most logical option. Please do correct me if I’m wrong…  
\- No-no! I like food and I like Sunday brunches, so yes… I would like that very much. you answered and smiled widely, which James was able to hear. He was also smiling now that you were too.  
\- Oh? Well that is great! So yeah, I know where you live so… I will pick you up at 11 AM sharp.  
\- Okay! Yeah, sure! So I’ll see you then. you said. A small silence followed. You were listening to the silence and then after a moment, you heard the Scotsman saying  
\- Yes, I am looking forward to it.  
\- Me too. 

After that you said “bye” almost 5 times each until James finally hung up. During the call you had managed to get back home, well to the elevator at least. You were smiling and very surprised that he called. You took off your shoes and jacket and walked into your bedroom where you basically fell on the bed. You stared at the ceiling and breathed in slowly. Every time you exhaled deeply you felt like you had been falling deeper and deeper into the stated of complete relaxation. Then your eyelids started to weight more than you could bear so eventually your blinks became the governing state and you did not fight to keep your eyes open anymore.  
  
You drifted away and had weird, confusing dreams about James and Michael. In your dream you were on a date with them both and they ended up fighting each other as the talk show host Graham Norton was narrating the event on the background. In the dream you left the scene and bumped into Hugh Jackman who told you that you have now started something and you had no other choice than to suffer anything and everything that would come out from the whole thing. You told him that nothing serious had happened and it was all still cool. 

Then you woke up. It was dark and you checked out your phone. There was a message from Michael. He was wishing you sweet dreams. “What the hell!?” you thought, got off the bed barely awake and then washed your teeth as well as you face. Then you returned to bed and replied him “*zzz* yeah thanks, hey likewise”. It was almost 2 AM and you had been sleeping for 9 hours but since you had not been sleeping enough during the previous night you were able to continue sleeping.

You woke up at 7 AM feeling well rested and relaxed. You checked your phone and there were no new messages. You had a faint memory about a message from Michael but you were not sure. You had been half asleep when you had read it and answered it. Your heart stopped when you stared at the message.

“*xxz& yeah thabks, hey lovewise”

You cursed and buried your face in the pillow. “Why is this happening to me” you thought and groaned. After rolling in bed for an hour you got up and took a long, cold shower. You felt a little bit zombie-ish because you had been sleeping almost the double that you usually slept so you really needed to wake up. For real! Then you prepared some breakfast and checked the news as you waited that your hair was getting dry again. You decided that you would not appear to the date all-well-done but since it was supposed to be a casual brunch, surely you were welcomed to go there looking like you and not like some wannabe supermodel. 

You read the message again and scolded yourself. “Lovewise, seriously?” you mumbled and groaned. You just hoped that Michael understood that it was a typo. A stupid, freaking typo. It was almost 10 AM when you started to get ready for the date with James and you were done by half past ten. Then you just sat by your table and stared at the clock.

Your phone beeped. You checked the notification that said that you had received a message from Michael.  
“Lovewise? Does this mean that I won your heart? It sure did not take too long for you to fall in love with me ;)”  
You sighed and wanted to bash your head against anything and everything. You had to answer.  
“A classic case of typo. Supposed to say likewise. :P “  
A moment later your phone beeped again.  
“ :’( “  
\- Ha! you exclaimed. “It serves you right!” you thought and put the phone away. It was almost 11 AM, you put on your coat and headed outside. Just when you had closed your door you heard your phone ringing. You checked the screen “incoming call – Michael”. You had saved his number yesterday after he had called you just so you knew who was reaching you.  
\- So, what is it? you said when you answered.  
\- I was just thinking about you again-  
\- I see. It seems that it has become a bit of a habit. you commented.  
\- So it would seem, yes. he said and silence followed. You got out from the elevator and walked out from the main entrance hall. James had not arrived yet so you decided to kill time by being a smartass over the phone.  
\- So… Have you been thinking about me? he asked.  
\- I have been thinking about many things and yes, you have been one of the topics. One of many, I assure you. you said and followed the cars that drove by your apartment building. Then there finally was a car that stopped in front of the stairs and a familiar looking guy was driving it.  
\- Listen. I am now going out on a dat…  
\- With James? Michael asked with a tone that was almost terrified but mostly just surprised.  
\- If you must know… yes. Bye! you said when James got out from the car to greet you. You were a bit evil and waited James to say hello before hanging up the call. As far as you knew Michael was only toying with you so there was no reason that you should had been any kinder toward him. The only reason why you tolerated that from him was that you were attracted to him physically and there was something about his character that worked like a magnet. Maybe your subconscious mind wanted to make him see how great you were and cure him from his bad ways. But now it was time to forget about Michael.

\- Hi! you answered, put the phone on mute and into your bag. James hugged you briefly and then opened the door to you. You got into the car and put on your seatbelt. Your date walked on the other side of the car and got in as well. He took you first on a small sightseeing –drive and then parked in front of a cozy looking restaurant that was advertising Sunday brunch-buffet. You got out from the car and then followed James inside. He had a reservation and you were escorted to the table after you had both left your jackets to the cloakroom.  
\- So… you said and sat down. You were brought menus and you got to choose a main course, the rest of the brunch was buffet-style. The waiter asked if he could pour some sparkling wine into your glasses and James answered “why not!” You talked casually about your lives and James asked you quite many questions concerning yours. Occasionally you went to get something more to eat and then he did the same. Sometimes you both laughed so loudly that the waiter had to ask you two to keep it down a little because your joking and laughter was annoying as well as disturbing the other customers.  
\- I don’t think they want us here. James said with a disappointed tone.  
\- They do have a point. you said and stared at James.  
\- I know one place where we could laugh as much as we want. he stated after a short silence.  
\- You have my attention.  
\- We’ll go to my place. I have a copy of the new X-men –movie and we could watch it. he suggested. You chuckled because you had just seen the movie but there was no way you could had told James that, since the only way you could had seen it was that Michael had watched it with you.

\- So? What do you say? James asked and clearly he was waiting for your response.  
\- Yeah, I would love that! But… I want popcorn! you exclaimed and smiled as adorably as you possibly could.  
\- You just ate the half of the buffet, now you want popcorn? James asked with a surprised tone.  
\- I never watch movies without snacks. Snacks are an important part of the experience. you stated, crossed your arms and nodded firmly.  
\- Sure… Anything you like. James chuckled with a smile on his face and asked the waiter to bring the check. He took care of it and then you left. You had been spending almost 3 hours together already but it felt very easy to just hang out. You usually did not feel too comfortable to spend so long time on a first date. You always ran out of things to say or you got tired of being something that you necessarily were not, but with James time just slipped away without you even noticing it and you enjoyed yourselves, both of you.  
You got into the car, stopped at a supermarket and after getting snacks he drove you both to an area where there were houses next to each other and no apartment buildings. He was driving forward on a street that was lacking traffic at the moment and then turned and parked the car in front of a cozy looking house. You got out from the car and followed James in. He helped your jacket off your shoulders and invited you to enjoy yourself like you had been home.

James prepared the popcorn and put them into a bowl. He poured glasses of lemonade and took them to the living room. You carried the bowl and a smaller plate that was filled with mixed candies, put them on the sofa table and sat down. James put the Bluray into the player and then sat next to you. Without any sneaky schemes he put his arm around you and pulled you to lean on him.  
\- Is this good? he asked.  
\- Yes. you said and smiled. He ran his hand up and down on your arm. You both commented sometimes and laughed together at the funny scenes… and munched on popcorns. When the movie was over he asked with a genuinely curious tone so it was obvious that he was not only fishing compliments but really interested in your opinion.  
\- So, what did you think?  
\- You were absolutely fantastic! you stated. James’ performance was very good and it was easy to compliment. You liked the movie so you did not mind at all that you had now seen it twice besides, in a funny way it was a totally different experience to see it with James than it had been with Michael. You had commented different things and even laughed in slightly different parts.

\- Well thank you! Now… if you do not mind, I would like to take a nap.  
\- Oh… Okay, do you know if there are any bu-  
\- No-no-no… you’re not going anywhere! he said and stood up. He took your hands and led you into the bedroom. He mumbled “now” and put his hands on your cheeks and stared into your eyes. He was smiling a bit and then he leaned closer to kiss you. You rested your hands on his shoulders and smiled as you felt his breath on your lips. He was very close, but not close enough. Then finally his lips reached yours and this time he was not playing around.  
James kissed you slowly and after a moment he moved his hand behind your back and with the other he tangled your hair. His lips were soft and warm and he was very good kisser, completely different from Michael, who had been a very good kisser as well, but his style had been more dominating and almost rough.

You felt James pushing you backwards and soon you felt the bed behind you. He lay you down and crawled to hover over you. He still kept kissing you, but this time the kisses were cute and quick to which you did not manage even to give a proper response. It made James laugh and his laughter made you laugh. You had managed to crawl back so now that you lay down, your head was against the pillow. He had the nicest pillows and the most comfortable bed. You smiled at James who was still hovering over you, staring at both; your lips and into your eyes. You caressed his cheek with your fingertips with a serene smile on your face. Neither of you were laughing anymore and you both were calm.

\- You know, my arms are getting tired, I am not that strong…  
\- Oh? you chuckled.  
\- So it means that I should probably…  
\- Yeah… you probably should. you said and then pulled him closer so his weight was on you.  
\- This was not what I meant! he chuckled, although it had been exactly what he had meant.  
\- Oh… Well, go ahead, if you don’t like it here, you can always move.  
\- This is my bed so…  
\- “This is my bed”- you mimicked but you were cut short when James pressed his lips on yours again. This time he kissed you slightly deeper and more passionately. You caressed his back, shoulders and sides with your fingertips and sometimes you rubbed his leg with the sole of your foot. He nibbled your lower lip a couple of times and mumbled that this time you did not taste of ketchup. You burst into laughter and shook under him.  
After some time, about good 15 minutes of kissing rather passionately, he moved next to you to lay on his side. You rolled on your side to face him and smiled. He stared into your eyes and put his hand on your cheek.  
\- Is this you? he asked suddenly. You smiled and breathed calmly.  
\- Yeah… this is me.  
\- I think I like you. he stated and then closed his eyes. He had not been kidding about the taking-a-nap-part.

You chuckled and closed your eyes as well. You did not fall asleep, James did, but you enjoyed the feeling of being on his bed, listening to his relaxed breathing and feeling his hand on your neck. You opened your eyes and stared at him with a smile on your face. Then you got a little bit closer and stroked his hair a couple of times before wrapping your arm behind his back. You closed your eyes and felt this breath on your face.  
You managed to fall in half-asleep where you were aware of your surroundings but your mind was traveling the world. After a couple of hours James’ phone rang and he woke up. Without thinking it more he answered it with a very husky voice. He was still half asleep himself.

\- Yeah?  
\- Hi, it’s Michael. Did I wake you up? Michael asked with a curious tone.  
\- Hi, mate! No-no… What’s up? James mumbled.  
\- Well… I am in the neighborhood, actually just parked my car to your driveway… Michael said and got out from the car. He stared at James’ house as he stood next to his vehicle.  
\- That’s great, mate.  
\- I have a couple of beers with me… So…  
\- Okay… give me a second, I will come and let you in. James said and hung up.  
You stared at James with wide eyes, then he finally woke up.  
\- Who’s coming? you asked.  
\- Nah, it’s okay… it’s just Michael. he answered and left the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angel_Style! This is for you!
> 
> I will be away from my keyboard for 9-10 days so... so... Stay tuned :D This will continue!
> 
> Inspiration for cuteness: Betsie Larkin with Solarstone - Breathe you in


	6. Eavesdropping causes chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy! I am back with more twists and turns! Fasten your seatbelts and keep your hands inside the carriage during the entire ride!
> 
> Alright, so you are visiting James and Michael comes over...

\- No! Don’t open! you pleaded and got out from the bed. You really did not want to face Michael, not now.  
\- It’s cool, it’s just Michael… James stated and ignored your wishes entirely.  
\- It’s not cool, it’s awkward because I am here! you exclaimed and stared James with wide eyes. “Why don’t you see my side of this thing?” you screamed at him inside your mind.  
\- Hey… you can escape from the window if you want but Michael drove all this way and he brought beer…  
\- So bros before hoes-huh? you scoffed. The whole situation was too absurd. Despite of knowing that Michael and James were good friends even outside work but still, did James really have to do this?  
\- He’s my mate. You’re welcome to stay here in the bedroom or join us if you wan-  
\- No-I’ll stay here. Hide my jacket and bag, please? you asked with a defeated tone. Hiding was the only thing you could even think about doing. Joining the guys was unacceptable.  
\- Sure, I’ll just put them into the closet near the front door. he answered and mumbled something about you being ridiculous. You nodded and thanked him with a voice that was barely audible. James left the bedroom and closed the door behind him. He walked to the entrance hall and put your stuff into the closet so Michael would not see it. You really did not want to be found from James’ place because you did not really know how Michael would react. The bad scenario was that he would tell James that you had been watching a movie with him and even had allowed him to kiss you.

James had been a nice guy the entire time, he had gotten you home safe and he had kissed you, but still you had gone on a date with his friend. And better yet; you had gone to the friends home and let him kiss you. This was something that you had never done before. Something very bold and almost rude and this person that dated two guys at the same time was not you. You had to make a stop to it. You decided that you would text Michael later that-  
Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Michael greeting James quite loudly. James welcomed his friend in and asked how he was doing. You leaned to the bedroom door and pressed your ear against it. Then you stepped away when you realized how impolite it was to eavesdrop on someones private conversations. However when you heard your name…  
\- So… How did it go with (Y/N) after leaving bar? Did you get her into bed? Was she any good? Michael asked. “That is so him” you scoffed silently as you pressed your ear against the door. As long as they were talking about you, in your opinion you had the right to hear it. “Surely James will set him straight” you thought or more like desperately hoped.  
\- Nah, she is playing somewhat hard to get, but soon, mate, soon. James answered and chuckled. “Okay, he has to say that although he doesn’t mean that, right? It’s only guy-humor, right?” you tried to assure yourself. 

\- So have you called her? James asked suddenly.  
\- Yeah, I did. Michael answered.  
\- I knew it! So?  
\- We watched a movie… and you are right! She is playing hard to get. Michael scoffed. “Playing?” you thought. You were not playing anything! You were being yourself, or the overly-confident-version of yourself, which by the way wasn’t “easy” either, and if someone could not appreciate it, then it was not your problem, besides surely James respected that in yo-  
\- The days of future past? James asked. Michael nodded.  
\- I knew it! She did not mention it when I saw her today. So it really is on. James laughed.  
\- Ha-ha! We both know that I am going to win! Michael stated. He wanted to test James’ willing to play for real. Would he really go with it or would he tell Michael to back off? Michael had decided that if his friend asked him to let you be, he would. He did respect James too much for ruining something real, something good for him selfishly.  
\- I don’t think so, mate. I have already kissed her and I think she likes me. James stated but his tone sounded almost arrogant, definitely not “sincerely into you” –like.  
\- I have also kissed her and she did not mind. Michael commended and sipped his beer as he waited curiously how James would react.  
“What the actual fuck, Michael?” you screamed in your head. You were worried that James would get offended and would not want to see you again. 

But then James said something that you had not expected  
\- I’ll wager a bet with you…  
\- Oh, let’s hear it! Michael exclaimed.  
\- I say that I will fuck her before you’ll do… you’ll get the sloppy seconds, mate.  
You leaned backwards and felt the cool wooden door with your fingertips as you stared at it. You were unable to focus into anything. You had not wanted to hear it although you were almost completely sure that it was only “macho-talk” and James did not want to show Michael that he liked you. But hearing him saying that he will “fuck you” and waging a bet about it… whatever twisted kind of guy-humor that was, you did not want to hear more. You heard Michael laughing, you heard James laughing as well. Then you heard them raising a toast to seal the bet.

\- She’s a fine piece of ass. Michael commented.  
\- An average, but she’ll do. James chuckled. He was trying to act tough in front of Michael. He wanted to sound like he did not really care because he was a bit surprised that you had seen his friend too, although James knew that you did not owe him anything and it was not like you belonged to him. But it was easier if Michael did not know that James liked you and the best way to mask his true thoughts and feelings was to talk rudely about you and hope that you did not hear him… although at this point he had already forgotten that you were in his bedroom. His thoughts had shifted when Michael had told him that he had called you and kissed you.  
However this was something that you did not know. In your ears it sounded like he was just trying to score with you. It hurt. It really did. You had been yourself with him and he had told you that he liked you, the real you. The tears were building up behind your closed eyelids as you cursed yourself for ever abandoning your giggly fangirl-self. That person would never have gotten into this mess because she would never have gotten either of the guys interested in the first place.  
\- An average? Michael asked and sounded a bit surprised.  
\- Fine, slightly below but doable. I can always take her from behind so I can imagine that she’s someone else.  
\- Or do it in the dark… Michael said. He did not really know if James was only joking or was he really saying what he was thinking. He hoped that James was joking because it was getting a bit too rude now.  
\- I guess she's okay from the neck down. Maybe I'll ask her to wear a brown paper bag… James added. Then they both laughed again. The laughter offended you and punctured holes into your shielding mask. They were laughing at you, suggesting that you should cover your face with a paper bag because that was more pleasant to look at than your face. “Right” you thought and that was it. That really was it. You could not be there anymore so you had to leave, but you could not be seen. You tried to remember the layout of the house and reasoned that if you walked on your tippy-toes you could get your bag and jacket from the entrance hall. There after all was no direct view from the living room to other parts of the house.

You took your shoes but did not put them on. You heard that James put on some music and played it quite loud. “Good” you thought and opened carefully the bedroom door. The route was clear and it was safe to leave the room. You walked silently to the entrance hall and opened the only closet there was. You things were there. When you were about to open the main door, you remembered that it made a loud squeak when it was being opened. The guys would surely hear it. No, you could not use the door.  
Suddenly you heard footsteps nearing and you decided to seek cover from the room that was right next to the entrance hall. It was the smaller bathroom. You heard Michaels voice from the other side of the door. He was getting something from the pocked of his jacket and you dared to breathe only when you heard his voice getting further away from the door.

At this point you understood to mute your phone, fortunately, because suddenly you saw Michaels number on the screen.  
\- Who are you calling, mate? James asked and opened a second bottle of beer.  
\- No one… Michael answered and put the phone away since you were not answering.  
There was a narrow window in the bathroom. It was a bit open already and you got an idea that you would escape the situation, literally. You put on your shoes after making sure that they were not going to leave any footprints and then you put on your jacket. Then you stepped on the closed toilet seat and reached to sit at the window with your one leg on the outside. The window was not that high, only about 2 meters, less most likely, above the ground where there was grass, luckily no concrete or stone. However you knew that if you fell, you could get yourself hurt, in the bad case at least. Besides, if you fell, it would make a noise that would surely be heard by the ones that you were trying to escape.

But now that you were sitting sideways at the window and neither of your feet was able to reach anything, you were in trouble. You were stuck. The window had been too narrow for you to sit any other way and not tall enough for you to stand straight. You had dropped your purse on the grass already and you were painfully aware that if you stayed there for a long time, surely you would be seen; someone would have to use the bathroom or Michael would leave and see you for sure because the window was right next to the front door. You were wasting away your precious minutes by being stuck.

Suddenly the bathroom door opened. It was James. He burst into laughter and before he knew it, he had caught Michaels attention who soon appeared to the doorway as well. You put on your mask and hoped that your current state of slight panic did not show through.  
\- What are you doing there? James asked and kept laughing.  
\- Nothing… Admiring the sights, the view… Your front yard looks especially beautiful from this window.  
\- Right. James commented and smirked. He winked his eye playfully at you but you did not find it charming or even amusing at the current situation.  
\- Oh, Mr. Fassbender… How are you doing? you asked and tried to appear like you were not stuck at all.  
\- I am… fine. he answered and tried to read your face. You were acting like the whole situation was normal, almost like you had casually bumped into the guys in a shop, at the bathroom section.  
\- It seems that you’re stuck! James said with a serious tone but then burst into laughter.  
\- No… not at all. I am on top of the situation…  
\- Sure you are. Michael commented with a calm voice and offered his hand to you.  
\- More like “in the middle of a situation”… called a bathroom window. James laughed. He had drunk a couple of beers already with a rather quick pace and could not hold his laughter at all. You took an annoyed glare at James who started to laugh even more. He spilled some beer on the bathroom floor and cursed for wasting a good beer.  
\- Just… give me your hand. Michael said and stepped a bit closer. “I do not want you to fall” he continued. You took a glance at the ground. It was not that far, you could just…

\- Oh come on mate, leave her hanging- James laughed.  
\- I… I don’t think so. you answered to Michael and smiled defiantly.  
\- Did you not know that I have also a door? And there was a door in the bedroom as well, to the back yard, but apparently you missed it… You rather use a window! The narrowest window there is! James blurted bluntly.  
\- Well… you commented and scoffed.  
\- Doors are for losers! you stated and glanced down to the grass.  
\- I agree with you one-hundred-percent, but now I need you to come down before you’ll fall. Michael stated. He was afraid that you would decide to get on with your plan and it could end badly. The window was not high but from the position that you were sitting in, there was no way for a pretty landing. You would most likely fall on your arm or your hip and bones could get broken, you could even hit your head on the impact.  
\- Yeah, your window of opportunity passed alre- James said and then started to laugh again. You looked hesitant. The drop started to look bigger by every moment that you wasted sitting there, staring at the concerned face of Michael.

\- My bag is-  
\- I will get it, but now, first I need to get you off the ledge, alright? Michael said. His tone was comforting and soft and not rude or cold at all. That surprised you and it kept surprising you every time he said something, just because you had never heard him like this.  
You thought about Michaels suggestion for a moment and then nodded. Your feet were getting numb from the position that you were sitting in and there was no point of getting yourself hurt since you had been seen and your plan had failed the most ridiculous way possible.  
\- Okay, good. Just lean in and give me your hand… he said as he walked closer to you. He put his hands on your waist and pulled you back entirely in. You were wearing your shoes that had a bit of heel and as you were supposed to be able to support your own weight, your foot slipped on the spilled beer and caused you to twist your ankle. You managed to catch Michaels arm for support and mask the physical pain, besides the foot was numb anyway.  
\- So this is how quickly you change your mind; first you were in my bed and now you’re in my friends arms… James blurted.

\- Shut up, James! Michael exclaimed and examined your face as he tried to figure out if you were alright or not. He was actually a good guy but as long as you were having your own mask on, he was going to hold onto his.  
\- I’m fine. you stated and stepped further away from Michael. Every step you took hurt like hell and it felt like your ankle could give in at any moment.  
\- Well… Why would you care, James? I am below average anyway… you stated and smiled defiantly.  
\- But I want to win the bet! he blurted.  
\- So the bet is real. you mumbled.  
\- Tell me, would you like me to draw a smiley face on the paper bag or do you prefer it blank? you asked with a smirk.  
\- Blank is fine. James blurted. The smile that was covering your true feelings faded away for a moment which lasted only for a moment but it felt like an eternity for you. Your gaze wandered a bit lost as you were unable to focus your thoughts of your eyes at anything. The sound of James’ laughter faded away and your breath turned into a series of random, short, silent gasps. Nothing made sense anymore and his words played on a loop in your mind. What a fool you had been. You had been yourself with James! He had told you that he liked you, the real you, and now he was just talking about bets and winning them. Then the moment was gone. You faked a smile and walked out from the bathroom. Your ankle hurt but you did not want to show any sign of weakness, not now.

\- I think, neither of you will win the bet. you said and took one glance at James. For a moment you looked pissed off but the look on your face made him laugh again. In our opinion there was nothing amusing in the situation and it offended you greatly that James seemed to think that there was something to laugh about. You opened the front door and sought support from the railing as you walked down the few steps. Then you got your bag from the ground and turned to say  
\- I now have enough material to make my mind about which one of you is “hotter”… Congratulations gentlemen… you both lost-  
\- Hey! I got you on my be-  
\- You are being an ass, James! I was expecting Michael to behave like that, but not yo-  
\- Hey! Michael exclaimed.  
\- “Hey” what? You have been nothing but an arrogant bastard the entire time I’ve known you. I am nothing but a competition for both of you and you are right, it is a dangerous game… and it ends now. you stated and turned your back at the guys. James mumbled something and said “fine”. He was offended that you thought that he was an ass because he did really like you. He had just messed up but admitting it in front of Michael was too much to handle at the moment.

Michael then again had seen a glimpse of the real you. Your mask was broken and you were clearly hurt. He liked you as well but knowing that James, his friend, had gotten his eyes on you first had made him jealous and since you had not allowed him to see the real you, he had not wanted you to see him either. Now however the situation had spiraled out of everyone’s hands and it had to stop. You had gotten hurt, literally and also emotionally and there was nothing amusing about it. He took his wallet and car keys from the table that was in the entrance hall and then ran after you. James however stayed inside and opened another beer.


	7. The aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here, have cocktail of different feelings :D por favor!

Michael ran to you. He put on his jacket as he ran since there was a terribly cold wind blowing from the north. You felt your chill deep down in your bones and buried your hands into your pockets hoping that it would help even a bit. He caught you easily because you were barely able to walk and when he did, you groaned because you were frustrated for your own incapability to escape the situation. Michael was not going to let you be.  
\- Leave me alone! you exclaimed and looked angrily at the tall man who was standing in front of you now. He looked at you with a concerned look on his face and said  
\- Your ankle is fucked and you’re being mentally unstabl-  
\- Excuse me?! you exclaimed. You were basically boiling because there were not limits for the arrogance of Michael. It pushed all your buttons and made you see red.  
\- You are seriously mistaken if you think that I will let you be alone in that state of mind-  
\- Mentally unstable? You know everything was going well until you came… I was having fun! I was actually pretty happy. So thanks a lot! you stated and emphasized your words by pointing at him occasionally with an accusing way. The way you saw it, Michael had fucked things up for you and if he was not such a competitive, arrogant asshole, you could had been enjoying the rest of the afternoon with James and now you would lack a twisted, fucked up ankle.  
Michael did not answer. He stared at you with his piercing blue eyes and his gaze was getting very intrusive since it was impossible to escape. You however were unable to even guess what he was thinking about.

\- Actually, maybe I should thank you! you shouted. At this point you did not know who was really what kind of person deep down, so maybe Michaels interference had exposed James’ true nature and possibly saved you from a greater heartbreak in the future.  
\- Why? he asked and looked at you curiously.  
\- Well, I finally saw what you both are really like, even James. you stated bluntly. There was no reason to sugarcoat it since all the possible reasons to make them like you had flew…. or more like jumped out from the bathroom window.  
\- Gosh! I feel so foolish to think that I mistook him as the nice guy. you scolded yourself and glared angrily at James’ house. James nowhere to be seen but you could almost imagine him laughing by himself at you with a cold beer in his hand and his legs lazily on the coffee table as he sat on the sofa, very pleased with himself.  
\- You must really hate me now… Michael mumbled. He seemed sad or troubled at least. Seeing him like that partially made you even angrier but it also made you feel like you were the bad guy here. You weighted his words for a moment and then weighted your feelings as well as what had just happened. As a conclusion you decided that you had the right to be offended and angry so you stated with a calm voice  
\- No…  
\- You don’t? Michael asked and he sounded surprised, maybe even relieved.  
\- No, because if you hate someone, you must feel something strongly… Now I just don’t want to waste my energy on feeling anything for either of you. Ha! It’s so funny… I have known you for merely 2 full days now and I am completely, utterly and most profoundly fed up with both of you. So congratulations, because that was something I had never thought to be even possible… ever! you said and put an excessive amount of pressure on the words “completely, utterly and most profoundly” as well as the last “ever”.

\- Wow! You’re quick to make up your mind. Michael stated. He was surprised that you were actually going to reject both of them, just like that. He admired your strong will secretly and going back to the late Friday evening when those other fans had almost sat on his lap. You were something entirely different and he was silently proud of you. You took one big, deep breath and did your best to calm your mind although Michaels comment was making your head explode with irritation. You however decided to ignore it and just keep going.  
\- Can you point me to the direction of the nearest bus stop? you asked with deceivingly neutral voice.  
\- There are… no bus stops here. he answered and tried to decipher your mood behind that cool exterior. This was no mask; this was you very angry and in control of the situation, in control of yourself.  
\- Right… I’ll walk. you stated and took one big breath as you prepared yourself to take the next step. You knew that it was going to hurt so much that it could possibly make you cry even.  
\- With that foot? Michael asked or more like stated. He did his best to keep his voice as little “mister smart-ass-y” as possible. He knew that you would probably stab him with a spoon until he was nothing but a cold corpse… that was if you found a spoon… and if he accidentally annoyed you with arrogance.  
\- I am not crippled! you stated with a low, dangerous tone and took one step that you had not thought through, shifted your weight on the twisted ankle and let out a cry. There was no way on earth that you could had prepared yourself to that amount of pain that greeted you as soon as you tried to support your weight with the foot.

\- You cannot walk…  
You knew that he was right. It was terribly embarrassing and insulting for your own ego to admit it but it was your time to swallow your pride. You bit your lip for a second and sighed.  
\- Can you drive me to the nearest bus stop? you asked with a defiant smile on your face. You were expecting him to laugh or tell you to call a taxi but instead his reply was a soft, very kind  
\- Of course.  
Michael told you to stay there as he would go and get his car. He walked back to the front yard of James’ house, got his car and drove it near you. You got in and thanked him with a defeated tone because that was what you were; grateful but defeated. You both were silent until you noticed Michael driving past many bus stops.  
\- What… you’re missing the stops… What are you doing? you asked with a confused tone and turned your head to see the latest bus stop getting further and further away in the distance as the car drove on without even slowing down.  
\- I will drive you home and then I will take a look of that ankle of yours. Michael stated with a calm tone.  
\- What? No! you exclaimed.  
\- Yes! We are not going to discuss about it. Michael said with an assertive tone and there was nothing you could had done. You could had said “no” as many times as you had wanted but it wouldn’t had changed his mind. You muttered “fine”, told him your address and he put it into his phone so he could check out the route to get there.  
He parked the car and then helped you stand. He even helped you to walk by supporting you with a tight grip that was strangely reassuring; he was not going to let you fall and against your better judgment you were trusting him to keep you safe, unharmed, off the ground. You took the elevator to your floor and went into your apartment. Michael did not ask if he could come in, he just assumed that he was invited. He had after all told you that he was going to take a look of the ankle.

Michael helped you to take off your jacket and then took off his, put them both on two hangers and took off his shoes since you took off yours first.  
\- Now, sit down. he said and pointed at your sofa. You sat down and he knelt in front of you. He touched your ankle gently and felt it with his fingertips. He added a little pressure to feel if anything was broken. Luckily that was not the case although the ankle was quite swollen and sore, but he was gentler than you had expected and careful not to hurt you.  
\- Do you have frozen peas or something that I could use to get the swelling down?  
\- Feel free to check. The kitchen is over there. you said and pointed at the kitchen. Michael lowered your leg down and stood up. He went to the kitchen and found the freezer easily. He opened the door and took a bag of wok vegetables out. The next thing he did was to look through your closets around the apartment to find a towel to use as a bandage. Then he returned to kneel in front of you and smiled a little.  
\- I’m sorry, this might feel slightly unpleasant, but I’ll try to be gentle with you. he said with a soft tone. You breathed in deeply a couple of times and then replied  
\- Okay.

Michael pressed the bag of frozen vegetables against your ankle and then wrapped the towel around it. He had been right, it was not pleasant to have the frozen bag against your skin but it did numb the soreness, which was a good thing.  
\- Thank you. Okay… you have now attended my ankle so… you started with a slightly shaky voice but managed to gather courage towards the end.  
\- So? he asked and lowered your leg on the floor. He would had wanted to brush a runaway lock off your face and tuck it gently behind your ear but he did not dare to do so. He sighed inside his head silently when you brushed the lock away and then focused your attention back to him.  
\- You can leave. you said with a cold, merciless tone.  
\- No. he answered and smiled a little.  
\- You… you cannot stay. you stated and shook your head slowly. The gesture combined with your tone and the look on your face felt almost threatening to Michael but he had to know why you wanted him to leave. He after all had been nothing but a gentleman so he considered your demand a little unfair.  
\- Why? he asked.  
\- I don’t really want you here. you said. The look on Michaels face changed from defiantly curious to sadly offended which made you feel bad for him. You had to explain yourself. You had previously thought that Michael deserved to be hurt and offended but now it did not feel right. You did not want to intentionally hurt anyone, not even Michael. You felt bad for the whole situation and you could feel the wave of sorrow approaching your cool exterior from the inside. Soon it would crash against the walls of your protective fortress and you were not so sure if you could keep the walls from cracking. The fortress had after all been built to take hits from the outside, not block the tsunamis roaring from the depths of you.

\- It’s just too much… the whole thing. You were right; I was being someone I wasn’t and that got me into this mess. I shouldn’t had… I wish I hadn’t… This is all just a big mistake. The whole thing… you said and closed your eyes just to escape Michael whose attention was all yours and his entire focus was on you, which made you feel exposed to the point that you felt like you were an open book, that he read without skipping any words –not even one. You felt the tears building up and it was getting impossible to hold them in any longer.  
\- The whole thing. you repeated with a silent voice and crossed your arms. You sounded regretful and defeated. The first tear rolled on your cheek and made you smile bitterly.  
\- No. I am not… leaving. You have to let me be the nice guy. Listen, I have no idea why he said those things. I am sorry that he did. You deserved none of that. he said and looked deep into your teary eyes.

\- You were laughing with him. Why should I care what you say? Besides… You are behaving in a completely opposite way now. Why is that? you asked and looked at the man in front of you with a curious, but still slightly sorrowful look on your face. You were constantly working on keeping your feelings in check and as you breathed in and out calmly you managed to push your hurt to the background so you would not break, no tears followed that one runaway drop. You were getting confident that you could keep your feelings in control… for now at least. Michael did not answer.  
\- Which one are you, Michael? That cold person who sees me as a competition, or the man who offered his hand so I would not fall and hurt myself? you asked but your words were almost like an attack. You knew now that even Michael had been wearing a mask and he had no real right to blame you for having yours on. The question however was; which was the real person? Was he wearing the mask right now or was this the real person who had tried to be something else than he really was? If so, then why? You craved for answers although you did not want to show him just how much you needed them.

\- A bit of both…  
\- Ah… well that was a rather pointless answer. You would make a good politician.  
\- What do you mean? he asked.  
\- You really did not express your opinion about the true nature of your personality. However, it does not really matter anyway. I was just curious to know if you are aware of that you do not really practice what you preach yourself. Yet one more reason not to trust this “good guy –act”… and therefore, if you have nothing else to say, I would like you to leave.  
\- But-  
\- I am thankful for the help but I am tired. It has been the roughest weekend and I am more than happy to return into my safe, slightly boring life. you stated and got up without Michaels help. You smiled briefly as you escorted Michael to the entrance hall and watched him putting on his shoes and jacket. He opened the door, turned to face you and then said  
\- I’m sorry.  
His apology surprised you and you decided to be a reasonable adult about the whole thing. Therefore you shook your head with a sad smile on your face. His apology however caused a small crack in the wall of your fortress and one more tear fell from the corner of your eye.  
\- Don’t… you said and wiped one tear casually off your cheek.

\- It was never meant to happen, but I am glad it did. you continued and fought to keep the small smile on your face. You wanted to part as friends and since you were not going to see Michael again, ever, you had reasoned that there was no reason to hold onto any grudges, so the only thing you could do was to smile.  
\- Why? he asked. Michael was not making a lot of sense out of you. He understood that the situation had gotten fucked up quite rapidly, hell, it had taken only a couple of days, but he could not understand why you insisted on giving up so easily, besides you were speaking in riddles.  
\- Well… I got to kiss Michael Fassbender. you joked and chuckled. No, there was no reason why you could not joke about the whole thing now and part as friends… or… something like that anyway.  
\- That is true. he chuckled.  
\- Who knows… maybe I’ll run into you someday. you stated and laughed a bit as you thought about what it would be like; to accidentally bump into Michael in a grocery-store or somewhere. Would it be awkward? Would he even recognize you? Most likely not. The thought made you sad a bit.  
\- Maybe. he answered with a small smile. He shifted his eyes away from yours and it was clear that he was trying to find a new topic because he did not want to leave, not yet. Not like this. A silence followed.

\- Are you going to call James? he asked after a moment.  
\- I don’t know. Most likely not. you answered and rubbed your arm as you leaned yourself onto the doorway. You were also looking at everything else than Michael. You were torn in two; hoping that he would just go already and also hoping that he would not go, not just yet. Not like this.  
\- Oh? he asked with a surprised tone.  
\- I think that he said everything he wanted to say already, so…  
\- But… there is no way I will give up this easily and neither will he…  
You burst into laughter. It was the most sincere laughter that you had ever laughed in the company of Michael. It was strange; you knew that it was over so you did not care anymore about what Michael thought about you.  
\- You laughed like this with James but not with me. Michael pointed out. Your laughter died away instantly because there was a hint of sadness in his voice although he was smirking at you. It was a bitter smirk and a sad tone. He noticed that his sadness had an impact on you, which meant that you cared even though you did not want to be sucked into anything anymore.

\- Why is that? he asked and looked into your eyes intensely. If you had thought that you were over him, if that thought had even crossed your mind at some point of your existence, you had been wrong. He stepped closer and kept staring into your eyes. You were hypnotized, completely mesmerized. That gave Michael a little hope.  
\- You must know by now that this is not over yet. he said and smirked again, however this time the smirk was not bitter but quite playful and flirty.  
\- No… I’m not… It’s not… you said as you shook your head.  
\- We still need a winner… and I am going to be that winner… fair and square. he said and leaned closer as his ice-blue eyes kept mapping the depths of yours. The close proximity was getting your knees weak and making it harder to form sentences or even think properly. You imagined to feel his warm breath on your skin and his warmth radiating from his body, submerging you into the attraction that you had been trying to shake yourself out from once more.

\- No… no-no… this feels wrong. you said and pressed yourself tightly against the doorway as you tried to get away or even a bit further away from him.  
\- Why? he asked and leaned even closer.  
\- You two are friends and I… just no. you said and stared at the collar of his black leather jacket. You could not face him now, not now that your heart was beating faster again and the closeness was making you blush.  
\- Yes… he whispered into your ear.  
\- No… you stated with a firm tone and tried to hold your breath because if you breathed freely, your chest would surely touch his and he would feel your heart beating fast, basically pounding against your ribcage mercilessly.  
\- Oh-yes! he whispered and brushed your ear with his lips. That was too much. You raised your hands that had been hanging on your both sides and slipped them on his chest. The fabric of his t-shirt felt soft against your palms and you could feel his muscles under it. He felt strong and warm and all you wanted was to pull him closer from the collar of his jacket but instead you decided to do the only reasonable thing possible; to stare at him deep into his eyes, push him away and state with a serious voice  
\- No! This is absurd! The whole thing was just an experiment, kind of, and it backfired. A disaster followed!

Michael smirked again. He was too strong for you to push away too much so he kept close, luring you to be attracted to him again.  
\- No… don’t look at me like that. you pleaded and smiled nervously. However the look on his face stayed the same.  
\- This is terrible, you’re terrible! you laughed as you realized that he was not kidding.  
\- You cannot deny it-  
\- What?  
\- That you cannot resist the adventure. he answered with a soft tone. Oh that tone was making your brain to turn into a gray mush that could had been served as a Sunday special in the pub nearby to the drunken zombie –army that resided there from the morning to the late night.  
\- You’re being ridiculous! you exclaimed completely forgetting that you were in the hallway and your neighbors most likely were able to hear you. Michael smiled and nodded repeatedly. There was no reasoning with him.  
\- I will talk with James. he stated suddenly.  
\- No… I don’t think this is a good idea… You two are friends, very good friends. I would hate to mess it up.  
\- We are friends, yes, and friends can compete a little-  
\- We tried that and I got a twisted ankle… I would rather not break anything else.

Michael stared at you with a curious smirk on his face. He thought about the situation for a moment in silence and then asked  
\- Do you know what else friends do?  
\- No… but I am quite sure that you’re going to tell me…  
\- Friends share. he said and turned around. His steps echoed in the stairway as he ran down the stairs. You closed the door and leaned to it with your back. “What just happened?” you thought. You were blushing and your heart was racing insanely. His final words echoed in your head and they did not leave you alone or grant you a moment of peace. What did he mean by that? Was he suggesting…  
No, no way… that was just too much! Maybe it was better for everyone if you did not hear from those two guys anymore. You had had your fun, it had been amusing and then you had gotten hurt. You had told Michael “no” countless of times but he was not going to give up. The positive side was that even if he kept harassing you, there was no obligation for you to get into anything… but then again… You missed the feeling of butterflies flying around in your stomach frantically. 

“No!” you commanded yourself and decided that there was no way you could go on with the guys. There was too much going on in your life anyway. You had your work… and your… work… and friends, well not too many of those but still some… and work… and hobbies… Tomorrow was Monday again and your life would return to its normal ways and you would surely forget about everything that had happened during the weekend…  
Oh, who were you kidding? You would not forget anything, not quickly at least. The memories would haunt your dreams for sure and drive you insane eventually… but you would be content with your life as it had been; safe and slightly boring… Besides whatever Michael had in mind, whatever he was suggesting… it was madness. He was insane! And James had insulted you. So it had to stop! “This is the end, the bitter end, but it is for the good… for the best… and my life will go on” you thought and turned around, pressed your forehead against the door with a deep sigh.


	8. The plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael does not let go :D

Your life did go on. On Monday you went to work as the usual and after a couple of days the whole thing with Michael and James felt like it had been only a dream or maybe a plot of a twisted romantic comedy. Your ankle got better quickly although you had to be careful with it; you were greeted with a sharp pain if you twisted it, there was no jumping for you for some time either.

After a week your phone rang; it was Michael. You muted the call and ignored the Irishman completely. No, you did not want to think about the whole thing or take a rematch. Then James tried to call you. You stared at the phone screen with your mouth wide open and after catching your breath and collecting your thoughts you pursed up your lips. No! You were not going to answer. You did not need complications to mess up your life. “The guys had their chance to sweep me off my feet and they fucked it up” you convinced yourself and kept ignoring the messages as well as the phone calls. Whatever messages you received, you deleted them without reading.

It was Friday, late afternoon. You had just come home from work and started to clean your apartment. It had been 3 weeks since the Graham Norton talk show and your life had returned to normal. You were searching for your spare key when your phone rang again. It was Michael. You decided to answer him and tell him to stop, by saying that you were going on a date although you were only cleaning your apartment.  
\- Hi Michael-  
\- (Y/N), you have been impossible to get in touch with-  
\- …not a good time… Michael!  
\- You have been ignoring me and James as well. It is not very polit-  
\- Are you surprised? you asked with a slightly annoyed tone. Michael was calling you “impolite” and it was getting you irritated but also kind of amused.  
\- Yes!  
\- You shouldn’t be. I told you like million times that… what was the word again? Oh, now I remember; No! you stated and couldn’t help but laugh. The situation was so absurd that there were only two choices: to laugh or hang up and for some reason you were not quite ready to do the latter.  
\- We both know that you did not mean that. Michael stated playfully and you could hear from his voice that he was smirking and you knew exactly what his smirk would look like so you felt a small blush creeping on your cheeks.  
\- Are you home? he asked after a moment of silence.  
\- Actually… I am on my way… on a date. you answered and tried to sound convincing. You wanted to believe that it was what Michael needed to hear; you had moved on so he had to do the same. Surely he would understand it now.  
\- Well that is most unfortunate. Michael commented, but his voice did not sound defeated. He had not given up yet so there was no reason for you to really think that he would give up now. You were hoping that he would though… or maybe you were not really hoping. It was the freaking attracted side of you that was still making your heart race and brain turn into mush when you heard Michaels voice, or James’, the small cave troll that lived inside your head, in the darkest corner and came out only when it was the most inconvenient time possible.

\- Why? you asked and pushed the troll back into its cave. In your mind you shut the door with a loud bang. locked it and threw away the key.  
\- Because me and James are about to come for a visit. Michael stated casually, like it was a habit of theirs just to drop by your place… just like that. Yeah sure, that was what “you and the guys” always did, they called that they would come over and then you would order pizza, watch a movie and laugh your asses off… nope!  
\- No, you’re not. Well… it was a pleasure. Now if you’ll excuse me… you said and hung up. You sat by your dining table and rubbed your forehead as you sighed very deeply. You kept thinking if you were being an idiot for rejecting the guys time after time again or was it the only smart thing to do? You in a way missed the drama and being the target of attention but then again you quite enjoyed the peaceful, quite predictable state of your life. You had never been a person who needed a man to make her life meaningful, hell, you did not need a man even for household chores since you were able enough to do small repairs when needed. You liked your life as it was, as it had been before meeting James and Michael.

You had been avoiding their interviews, avoiding any piece of fanfiction that had been written about them and not their movie-roles. Your life goal during these past 3 weeks had been to forget what had happened and get on with your life, without them.  
You finished cleaning the house and started to cook. You were going to make spicy chicken in a Moroccan tagine-pot with cherry tomatoes, fried mushrooms, all sautéed slowly in tomato sauce. It was your favorite recipe but since the cooking took several hours, you really rarely prepared it. Now however was a Friday evening and you were not working on weekend. Your apartment was clean and you had time to cook your specialty.

You grinded the spices with fresh ginger, fresh lemongrass, fresh red chili and olive oil in your mortar with the pestle until it was smooth paste. You used cloves, whole black peppers, cardamom, cinnamon, cumin seeds, fennel, rough sea salt, curry leaves and turmeric. When the paste was done you spread it on the chicken, added shredded spinach, uncut cherry tomatoes, fried mushrooms and finally topped everything with pureed tomato sauce. Then you closed the tagine –pot and put it into the cold oven, turned the heat on to 200 Celsius degrees and decided that you could take a nap for 2 hours until you would have to start making the carrot wok with sugar snap peas and boil the rice.  
You set the alarm and fell on your bed. It had been a busy day, no, busy week and you were so happy that you had to get your ass back at work on Monday afternoon, not any sooner. You drifted away and fell asleep quickly as you hugged your pillow and lay on your side in a comfortable fetal position, well sort of.

**

When Michael had left your apartment 3 weeks ago he had drove home and gone through the entire weekend in his head. He waited a couple of days and let the dust settle before he contacted James who was feeling extremely bad for the events of Sunday afternoon. Michael decided to call him.  
\- Hi James, how are you? Michael asked after James had answered the phone. He had clearly been sleeping and Michael had woke him up.  
\- Oh Michael… All is good. What’s up? James asked with a husky voice.  
\- I need to talk with you-  
\- About what? James asked and rolled on his back on his bed.  
\- Not about “what” but “who”.  
\- (Y/N)? James asked and stared at the ceiling with wide eyes.  
\- Yep. Michael answered. For a moment there was an awkward silence. James did not know what to say or think. He did not know whether you had started to see Michael or if you hated them both now, although he was quite sure that you hated James more. That made him sad and even though it had been a couple of days already, the moral hangover had not let him go yet.  
\- I trust you got her home safely or took her to a hospital. James commented with a bitter tone.  
\- I took her home and she told me that she does not want to see either of us again. Michael answered.  
\- Oh? Well… Cannot really blame her. James stated and sat up. He sighed and left the bed. His bed reminded him of you. He sometimes imagined that his pillow carried your scent and suddenly he was back in that moment when he had been kissing you… however then he remembered the look on your face when you had asked if he wanted you to draw a smiley-face on the paper bag and he had answered that he would prefer it black.  
\- But we’re not going to give up this easil-  
\- Maybe it would be the best… James said. He felt and thought that he had caused too much trouble as it was and he did not want to mess things up anymore. Maybe it was the best thing to do considering you above everyone just to let it go, even though he personally missed you quite a lot.

\- You like her, don’t you? Michael asked.  
\- Yes, bu-  
\- And so do I! he stated with an enthusiastic tone. It was clear that Michael had something on his mind and he was eager to share his thoughts with his friend.  
\- But…  
\- No buts! We’ll work it out. Meet me tomorrow for a beer at that one small pub near my apartment, yeah? Michael suggested and walked to the window. He stared at the surrounding neighborhood, into the vast grayness. It was a rainy day in London and the sun was hiding behind the thick rainclouds.  
\- Fine… When? James answered after taking a moment of silence to think about Michaels suggestion. He figured that he could go and meet his friend, drink one pint and listen to what he had to say. It did not mean anything if he accepted the invitation.  
\- At seven and we’ll talk more. Bye! Michael answered and waited James to say “bye” before hanging up.  
\- Bye. James said and hung up before Michael had a chance to do so. James had walked into the living room and sank on his sofa. He stared at the ceiling and sighed. He was curious to know what plan his friend had come up with but then again, it was Michael and sometimes his plans were insane. 

The next day James took a taxi to the small pub and found Michael sitting in the corner table as agreed. He had bought them both pints already and raised his hand when he spotted James.  
\- What’s up? James asked when he sat by the table. Michael gave him the pint and took a long gulp from his before he started to talk.  
\- We both like (Y/N)… Michael begun.  
\- Yep. James commented and followed Michaels example by emptying half of the pint with one gulp.  
\- I was thinking that instead of working against each other we should maybe join our forces and come up with some kind of arrangement. Michael suggested. James put the pint down on the table and leaned back. He crossed his arms and looked at Michael with widened eyes and chuckled.  
\- That is… James said and paused to find the right words.  
\- A good idea! I knew you would lik-  
\- …absurd! Michael! James exclaimed.  
\- No-no-no! Just hear me out! I have tried to figure this out and the only way this will work is that we both date her. Michael said and drummed the table a couple of times with his fingers. He looked at James and smiled widely. It was a victorious smile, obviously Michael had been thinking about his plan a lot and apparently he thought that it was a good one.  
\- Oh come on! That will not work! James said and decided to shoot down Michaels hopes and dreams immediately. What he was suggesting was… clearly Michael had gone insane.

\- Every other week she’ll be yours and every other week she’ll be mine… Except when the other one is out of town, in those cases the one who is in London has the right to date her as much as he wants… or she wants. Michael continued explaining. His hopes and dreams had not been shot down at all. James groaned and emptied his pint.  
\- You’re insane! he stated after swallowing the last drop of the beer that his friend had bought him. Michael signed the waiter to bring James another one, actually, he signed him to bring two beers because he was running out as well.  
\- Just think about it! We’ll come up with some kind of rules… and we do not have to compete for attention. If we’ll start competing we will all lose but by sharing we'll a-  
\- We’ll all win? James asked with a tone that was communicating strongly that he did not believe what he was hearing and to think that Michael was being serious…  
\- Yes! Michael exclaimed. James had finally understood the ingenuity of his plan, James however had been sarcastic.  
\- Come on, mate! You are assuming many things here; first you assume that (Y/N) would go with it, then you assume that I would go with it and on the top of it all you assume that… that arrangement would actually work! James exclaimed. Clearly Michael had not understood his sarcasm.

\- A classic win-win –situation. Michael stated and finished his pint.  
\- You mean “win-win-win” –situation? James corrected with a sarcastic tone.  
\- Exactly! Michael said with a proud tone, took his wallet and paid the waiter who brought the pints.  
\- Oh, I don’t know… I do not think that (Y/N) wants to even see me… I said some pretty gruesome things-  
\- Sure, but-  
\- If you want to date her… it is fine with me… I screwed up. There is no reason why you should suffer for the mistakes that I have made. James said and dropped his head.  
\- But the entire setup was faulty. It was bound to crash sooner or later! Besides I want both; you as my bro and (Y/N) as my… our…  
\- Don’t you say “ho”! James exclaimed and raised his gaze. He was now staring at Michael with a defensive look on his face. He would not tolerate it if Michael was going to refer to you as a ho or in a way that was anything even remotely similar.

\- … girl. Michael added. He noticed the look on James’ face and figured that he did still liked you since he did not tolerate “guy-talk” about you. Well, he had a good reason though, “guy-talk” had gotten James in trouble in the first place and it was obvious that he was going to be careful from now not to repeat the mistake.  
\- Fine I will think about it-  
\- Yes! Michael exclaimed with a wide smile on his face.  
\- …but do not get your hopes up! James added. He did not really believe that Michaels plan would work but he wanted to see you again and therefore he was ready to consider almost anything. “Almost” because he was not quite ready to kidnap you and tie you in his basement… not just yet at least.  
\- No-no! Michael assured and shook his head.  
\- You got your hopes up already, didn’t you? James chuckled.  
\- Yep!  
James and Michael agreed on the “rules” just in case and they changed the subject. After a couple of pints Michael walked home and James took a taxi back to his. He kept thinking about the proposition that Michael had made and to be honest, he thought that it was crazy. It however kept haunting his mind and after a couple of days of soul searching and pondering he decided to give it a try. If it did not work, he would get out before anyone got hurt. He called Michael.

\- Yeah… let’s do it. James said.  
\- Are you sure? Michael asked. He did not want to push James to do anything that he really did not want to do, but he knew that James did not want to let you go this easily.  
\- She is a fine woman… but if I see that the arrangement is not working… James said and got interrupted by Michael who stated  
\- We will stop! No one will get hurt! Alright… I will call (Y/N) and set up a meeting.  
He had called you several times but you did not answer. Michael asked James to call you but you did not answer him either. They were getting restless as the days passed. Then one day, on Friday, about 3 weeks after either of them had seen you, Michael was washing his jeans and found a key from his pocket. “Spare key” he read half aloud and decided to try the key to his lock. It did not fit. Then suddenly he got a memory flashback of him noticing the key on your table and taking it when you were not looking. “Just in case” he had thought, not really sure why he had taken it. Michael called James and agreed to meet him at your apartment building in the evening. They would use the key to get into the building but that was it. Then Michael called you and for his surprise you answered. However you said that you were on your way on a date.

Michael and James met at the front door and noticed that the lights were on in your apartment. The 3-week-radiosilence was making both of them insane and they basically rushed into the elevator. Luckily Michael knew the right floor since he had visited your apartment and soon they arrived there.  
They knocked the door but no one answered. After 10 minutes of knocking Michael took the key and stared at it. He tried to call you but you did not answer, however he pressed his ear against the door and heard the phone ringing inside the apartment. It meant that you were home but for some reason you did not hear the knocking.  
\- Maybe something has happened! Michael exclaimed and put the key into the lock. He was mentally ready to exploit any excuse to use the key and get into your apartment.  
\- Hey mate, I don’t think we should… James said and ran his fingers through his hair.  
\- She could be in trouble-  
\- Or sleepin-  
Michael opened the door before James was able to finish. Michael walked in and took off his shoes. He told James to do the same and then they walked further in. Your apartment was just as Michael had remembered it but this time there was a strong scent of food floating around. The last time your apartment had carried a scent of lime. You were nowhere to be found and did not answer to any of the calls.

James stepped into your bedroom and saw you sleeping peacefully, hugging a pillow as you breathed in and out slowly. “Michael” James called with a silent voice as he sat on the edge of the bed and soon Michael appeared to the doorway. The sight made them both smile but the moment was soon interrupted when your alarm started to ring. You groaned and turned on your back before opening your eyes.  
When you did, you were greeted with a surprise; you saw both Michael and James in your bedroom, James sitting on the edge of your bed and Michael standing next to him. You took a pillow and covered your face with it as you groaned

\- No-no-no! This is not… happening!


	9. The insane arrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... you get to hear about the plan.

\- Hello! James greeted you with his adorable Scottish accent. He was smiling in the most adorable way possible and his big, blue eyes were practically shining, he was very happy to see you again.  
\- You are both here! you stated and threw the pillow away as you sat up.  
\- Yep. Michael commented. You stumbled out from your bed and left the bedroom. As you walked out from the room, you closed the door right in front of Michael who was first to follow you.  
\- No! Bad Michael… Stay! you stated when Michael opened the door. You were confused and shocked and all kinds of mixed feelings about the sudden invasion and you needed some space to think. However Michael had not listened to your wishes before, there was no reason why he would start respecting what you wanted now either. You kept your distance to both of the guys who were now standing in your living room with wide smirks on their faces. They looked very good, both of them and all your progress of forgetting them was all gone.

\- What are you doing here? How did you get in? What is going on in your heads? Have you completely lost your minds? You must know that this is… mental… right? You are both stepping over a line here, do you care? Are you aware of that minor detail that you broke in? you asked as you walked around your living room and kept swinging your hands everywhere mostly because you wanted to emphasize the things you said but also because you were not quite sure that else you would had done with them. Your arms felt very unnecessary appendages right now, all they did was to hang around and make you seem even more nervous. Michael took the key out from his pocket and showed it to you.

\- Oh… you had a key. That makes it alright… you said and stopped. “Right, so there it was” you thought since you had been looking for that key many times during the past weeks. You of course were happy that you had not completely lost it but at this point you were not sure if this alternative was any better.  
\- What the fuck? you exclaimed and spread your arms to emphasize your words.  
\- Ahem… I told Michael that he should not- James stated. Michael looked at him and exclaimed  
\- What are you talking about? You thought that (Y/N) could be in trouble so you basically made me-  
\- Shush! you said and made a “shush”-gesture with your finger. The argument stopped immediately and both of the guys focused their attention to you.  
\- What… are you doing here? you asked with a calm tone. You were not freaking out anymore, now you just wanted some answers that actually made some sense.  
\- You were not returning our messages so this was the way to get in tou- Michael said but he was interrupted by you very quickly.  
\- Michael… I told you that I was going on a dat-  
\- Are you dating someone? James asked. He looked surprised and not in a good way. He had hoped that it was not too late to fix things but now it seemed that it was. He was devastated but did not want to show it.  
\- No, she is bluffing… she was hom- Michael commented with a calm tone and his eyes kept examining your facial expressions. He wanted to know if he could spot whether you were lying or not. However you interrupted him by claiming  
\- No… I got home and was so exhausted that fell on the bed straight-  
\- How about that food? Michael asked. He had come up with a theory that he wanted to test. He reasoned that you had been home and you were lying about the date-thing because you wanted to either make the guys jealous or your goal was to make them think that you had moved on already.  
\- Yesterdays leftovers… you stated with a tone that was somewhat dismissive since you did not want to give Michael any reasons to doubt your word. As far as he knew, you had been on date and just arrived home, the date had been so awesome that you had been tired and decided to take a short powernap during the food, yesterdays crappy leftovers, got heated in the oven.

\- Who were on a date with? James asked with a somewhat defeated tone. He did not feel comfortable with questioning your word. Surely you would not lie to him… or if you did, surely you had a good reason to do so. Besides, he and Michael had basically broke into your apartment, yes, Michael had the key, which he had practically stolen… No, in the humble point of view of James, he was not in any position to doubt your word.  
\- Tom-  
\- Tom Hiddleston? Well, ain’t that cute? Michael chuckled.  
\- Come Michael… there is no way either of us can top tha- James said and put his hand on his friends shoulder. James was about to suggest that him and Michael would leave but Michael stated  
\- She is bluffing, James! as he stared deep into your eyes and tried to decipher the code language. You were not an open book at the moment. Or maybe you were an open book that had been written in a language that he had not studied. He could understand a word here and there but not entire sentences.  
\- How- James asked. Michael decided to explain his logic now. He knew that he most likely ended up battling with you since you would most definitely shoot his arguments down with counter arguments.  
\- How do I know that? Well… the food takes about one hour or two hours to coo-  
\- Leftovers-  
\- I do not think so! Michael stated.

\- Feel free to explain the logic. you said and crossed your arms. You were trying to read Michael so you would know if he had any real clue or not. If you knew that he had no clue, it would be easier to prove him wrong. However if he had a clue, for some reason, no one knows why, you had to be careful of what you said so you would not find yourself cornered and out of counter arguments.  
\- You were sleeping… if you were heating leftovers, you would use your microwave oven-  
\- What if I don’t hav-  
\- …which I saw in your kitchen before-  
\- Maybe I think that micro destroys the flavors…  
\- You would surely use a frying pan-  
\- Not necessarily. you said. “Fuck! Does he have to be so observant?” you thought because his guesses this far had been right… but only this far. There was still hope.  
\- …and why would you go to sleep if your food was going to be ready in 30 minutes? Besides, I called you a couple of hours ago and you were home… so, you would not be home yet with food in the oven if you had been on a date. Michael finished. There was no way you could had counter-reasoned that without making an ass out of yourself.  
\- Fine. No date. you admitted and raised your hands up as a sign of surrendering. The look on James’ face turned from confused into relieved.   
\- So why are you her- you asked and then corrected yourself by saying  
\- Ahem, I mean, what is so important that you had to get in touch with me? You asked with a curious tone, crossed you arms and looked at James with a puzzled look on your face. 

Before either of the guys managed to give you an answer you continued  
\- Hold that thought! you said because you remembered that you really had to start frying the carrot sticks in the wok. You turned the stove on and poured a generous amount of olive oil on the pan. When it had gotten hot you added the carrot sticks and spices and took the bag of sugar snap peas out from the freezer. You started to boil the rice after rinsing it under cold water, you wanted to get fluffy, not clumping rice. When the carrots were getting a bit softer, you added the pea pods into the mix and asked the guys to help you to set the table.  
\- Are you offering us dinner? James asked with a surprised tone. He had not expected you to be so polite because they had practically broke into your apartment with a key that Michael had practically stolen.  
\- Well, you are here and I must admit that I am curious to hear what you want to say. It has been almost 3 weeks and you guys haven’t gotten over me, which I find equally amusing and surprising so… We can discuss it, whatever “it” might be, over a dinner… like adults. you announced and turned to stir the vegetables that were frying on the stove. After 10 minutes the table had been set and the dinner was ready. You took the tagine –pot out from the oven and carried it on the table next to the rice and the wok-vegetables that you had put into a smaller bowl because your table was not huge and a large wok-pan would take too much space.

\- Please sit down, gentlemen. you said and motioned them to follow your lead. You had taken the lid off from the tagine and now the room was filling up with a delicious scent which made even the guys mouths water. The food was excellent, it was spicy but not very hot. The flavor was complex and all the spices worked well with each other. Both Michael and James complimented your cooking skills and it was surprisingly easy as well as fun to have dinner with them.  
\- So… I think it is time that we’ll reveal the reason why we are here… James began.  
\- Yeah, please do. you said, put your fork and knife on the plate and rested your hands on the both sides of it as you concentrated your attention on whatever they were about to say next. Michael was sitting on your right side and James on your left side. You table fitted 4 people, one per each side but since your dining area was rather small, you had put the table against the wall so only 3 sides were available.  
\- The thing is that we both like you. James continued.  
\- Equally. Michael added.  
\- So? you asked with a “so what?” –tone and hid your excitement like a boss. You did not want to let the guys know that you were still attracted to them. No way!  
\- So… We decided together that we would both date you. James said and put his hand on top of your hand. Michael did the same so now both of your hands were being equally held by two different guys.

\- Friends share… you mumbled barely aloud when you suddenly remembered that Michael had implied it when he had left your apartment roughly 3 weeks ago.  
\- Friends share! you exclaimed and pulled your hands away as you crossed your arms and leaned back in your chair. Neither of the guys said anything.  
\- Friends… share? you asked, obviously waiting for some kind of response. You did not seem too happy about the plan or maybe you were just shocked.  
\- So which one of us do you like more? Michael asked and stared at you intensely.  
\- I don’t know! Neither of you! you answered. It was a lie really, you actually liked both of them.  
\- I know it’s not true. You like both of us but either cannot or dare not make up your mind… Michael stated with a flirty smirk on his face. You blushed because for some reason you were too easy to read. The freaking troll that hid in the far-corner of your mind was now running free and getting overly excited about the possibilities that had just presented themselves.

\- So we figured that you do not have to. James continued.  
\- You like me because I am a bit dominant as well as challenging and I do not give up… Michael said.  
\- And you like me because I am playful and funny, I know I can make you laugh. James stated right after Michael had finished his argumentation.   
\- You will not lose, if you’ll decide to take us both. Michael summed it up.  
You burst into laughter and laughed until you absolutely could not laugh anymore. You caught your breath and then looked at Michael who was staring at you intensely and then you shifted your gaze into James who was staring at you just as intensely. The ones eyes were as blue and mesmerizing as an ocean and the others eyes were piercing as ice, also very engaging.   
\- Oh my gosh… You are serious. you stated when neither of the guys were not laughing or telling you that they were only joking.  
  
\- Oh my… you just… Oh wow! you mumbled over and over again because you were lacking ability to say anything else. You took your glass and tried to drink but it was empty. With a shaky hand you took the water carafe and poured some ice water into the glass. Your throat was terribly dry and you could feel that your cheeks were probably as red as the tomato-sauce that was decorating now your white plates. You emptied the glass and wanted to just disappear under the table, anywhere… turn into gas and dissolve into the air. Helium-balloon. Yes… That was what you felt like. You were afraid that if you said anything, your voice would be squeaky and if you stood up, you might soar up in the air because your mind was flying high now… and the freaking cave troll was running around laughing like a maniac in your head.

\- We came up with some rules. James stated.  
\- Oh my gosh! James! Are you in favor of this?  
James nodded with a calm smile on his face.  
\- You do… you do understand that it is not… No-no-no… you said and stood up. You had to get some distance between you and the guys. You cursed in your native language and felt almost like you were going to faint.  
\- She has not shouted “get out” yet so I guess… Michael said to James and winked his eye at him.  
\- Oh… you two… hah-haa! you said and started to laugh nervously. There was no mask that could had saved you from the complete meltdown which you were facing. Finally you calmed down, however you did not return to the table.  
\- Can’t you see how this is NOT a good idea? you asked and stared at both of them with wide eyes.  
\- To which one are you targeting this question? Michael asked.  
\- Both… or actually… James… since I knew already that Michael is out of his mind… so something like this was to be expected although I had not expecte-  
\- I know… James said and stood up. He walked closer to you and smiled. There was something very calming about his smile and the gorgeous eyes of his. If you did not know better, you would had sworn that he was a telepath and able to calm you down by simply looking deep into your eyes.  
\- I was against it at first… probably said the exact same things that you have said now but… I rather share you with my dear friend than let you go. Besides… I think we could have plenty of fun together. he said with a deep, sultry tone and winked his eye at you. You blushed and turned your gaze away. “Plenty of fun together?” was James even more insane than Michael? You had thought that James was the reasonable one but clearly you had been wrong. So terribly wrong.  
  
\- There are three of us in this… together… and two of us are in favor… so… we have the winning vote. James said with a soft tone.  
\- Democracy, baby! Michael added. He helped himself with some chicken and let James to do what he had to do to get you onboard the plan.   
\- I do not think that democracy works quite like that, Michael. you stated and turned your head so you could address your statement to Michael. If he thought that he and James could just decide about it and you did not have to agree because “two against one, democracy-baby!” he was terribly wrong. James was standing right in front of you, he put his hand on your cheek and guided you to look at him.

\- Now… he whispered and stared into your eyes intensely.  
\- You do not want to break our friendship… he stated. You said “no” barely audible.  
\- Therefore I think we should just… let it b- you reasoned with a rather desperate tone. James was very convincing and you felt your defenses crumbling down as you were running out of arguments against the arrangement.  
\- Shush… You do not want to break Michaels heart, do you? James asked and studied your eyes as he talked to you with his charming accent and comforting tone.  
\- Does he have one? you blurted. You heard Michael saying “hey!” and then you apologized immediately because you knew that it was out of line, completely unnecessary insult.  
\- No… you mumbled and sighed.  
\- You do not want to break my heart either, do you? he asked and leaned closer.  
\- I don’t want to break any hearts… you answered with a shaky voice.

\- Neither do we. James whispered and leaned so close that you could feel his breath on your lips. You had closed your eyes at some point as a reaction and now you were just waiting and wondering if you could do this. When you were about to tell him “no” and pull back, you felt James’ hand grapping your waist and pulling you closer as his hand moved from your cheek behind your head and gently pressed your head closer so your lips finally were locked with his. Your mind went blank and all you could do was to act based on your instincts and they were telling you to kiss James. His lips explored yours slowly for a brief, yet intense moment and he pulled back.  
\- This is not right… you whispered when you remembered that Michael was in the same room with you and James.  
\- First rule; no jealousy. James whispered and pressed a soft kiss on your shaky, tingling lips.  
\- But Micha-  
\- Michael… yes… James whispered against your lips.  
\- This is rude… you mumbled and held on tightly to the last defenses that you had; your reasonable mind. At this point Michael chuckled and stood up. He walked to James and put his hand on James’ shoulder, who instantly let you go and smirked at you as he stepped further away.

\- What about me? Michael asked and stared into your eyes intensely. You were speechless and your head was spinning, knees felt like they were about to melt and your heart was about to explode. He put his hand on your jaw and rubbed your lips with his thumb almost roughly and sank his fingers into your hair as he had done when he had kissed you at his place.  
\- Second rule; no kissing and telling. he said and stared into your eyes. You took a quick glance at James who was staring at you with a smirk on his face. Michael however tightened his hold and turned your head a bit so you had to stare at him and only at him.  
\- When you’re with me… you are with me and James does not exist. Whatever I do with you stays between you and me. he said with an assertive tone before he kissed you. You shut your eyes and tried to keep yourself from fainting. Michaels lips assaulted yours and you could occasionally feel his tongue pressing against your lips demanding you to open your mouth and grant him access to deepen his kiss. However when you thought that he was about to kiss you with furious hunger, he suddenly drew back and chuckled mischievously. He walked you back to the table and sat you down.

You sat there silently completely speechless as Michael and James continued sharing a casual discussion about the food. You stared at your plate and did your best to gather your thoughts that were scattered around your mind like a puzzle of 10 000 pieces that had been thrown out from the balcony and then landed on the ground and spun around by a hurricane. Some pieces were missing and the rest of the pieces were just all over the yard.  
\- Did you use fennel? James asked. He tried to recognize the spices that you had used and now there was an ongoing argument with Michael about the presence of fennel. They had gotten into an agreement that you had used ginger and chili, pepper and salt, cinnamon, cumin as well as cardamom. Michael was saying that there was no fennel in the food because he did not particularly like it and he was enjoying the dinner greatly.

\- Fennel? you asked after a long silence.  
\- Yeah, there was no fennel, was there? Michael asked and put his hand on yours since it was on the table.  
\- What, are you allergic? you asked after you had recoiled from your thoughts.  
\- No… Michael answered.  
\- Fennel… yes… turmeric, cloves, curry leaves and fresh lemongrass. you answered.  
\- I knew it! James stated.  
\- So what other rules do you have? you asked. There was no reason behind the whole situation, hell, you had just kissed both of the guys and you had to admit that you had enjoyed it greatly… with both of them, and you were pondering whether to ask your guests to leave or just go with it because you were interested to know what on earth the reasoning behind this genius idea was. You of course were being sarcastic in your head when you thought “genius”.

\- Just out of curiosity so I can know just how crazy this arrangement of yours is. you added.  
\- Well… I think the most important ones you heard already. James said.  
\- No jealousy and when you’re with the other, you do not think about the other. Yep… got those. you mumbled.  
\- Then… James began.  
\- How are we supposed to schedule dates? you asked. You were very much interested about the practical arrangements of such plan. In your mind there was no way it would work.  
\- Well, easily. If this week you are my girl, the next you’ll be Michaels girl…  
\- The exception is that if either of us is not in London… Michael added.  
\- Uhuh? you asked with a sarcastic tone.  
\- And you may not see other men… Michael stated with an assertive, quite firm tone that did not leave room for questioning.  
\- So you’re saying that I am basically some kind of bed-warmer for James every other week and then to you every other week unless either of you is out of town… you asked. You did not like the idea at all.  
\- No… We are saying that you are a woman with two boyfriends and we are two guys with a shared girlfriend. James clarified. 

\- Do you realize what kind of shit-storm there is going to be when the entertainment news finds out about this. you asked and scoffed. The yellow press would find out immediately, of that you were sure.  
\- Yes but that is why we are going to be completely open about it. We are both in relationships but…  
\- The girlfriend is me? you asked, or more like stated.  
\- Yes. So basically it is the same than before but now we are not trying to make you choose between us and you do not have to climb out from window because we both just want to make you happy… and there is nothing embarrassing about that. Michael said.  
\- You are talking about this like it was just a normal arrangement… but doesn’t either of you realize that it is… not. you asked and took a good, long look at both of the guys that were sitting on your both sides. You sighed and leaned forward as you supported your chin with your hands, with your elbows firmly on the surface of the table.  
\- It is not the most common thing… but I think we should at least try it… for a couple of months and then we’ll have this conversation again. James suggested. He smiled and his smile was very sincere. It made you consider the proposition. You could not deny it; there were good sides to it too. Your love life had been full of crap for so long that this was a great opportunity to turn it around completely. The guys were different and they appealed to different sides in you. Michael was a bit of “bad boy” and slightly “dangerous” and James was that nice guy from the next door who always brightened your day, no matter what.

\- If it doesn’t work, we’ll figure it out. James continued. He was again staring at you with his mind-calming stare and you did something that you had never, not in million years thought about doing; you were going to go with it. You were going to abandon your safe, predictable and slightly boring life and maybe, hopefully, gain something more meaningful in return; adventures, excitement… love.  
\- Well… you started.  
\- What do you think? James asked. He was eager to hear your opinion. In his point of view he and Michael had now given you all the reasons in favor it and now it was up to you. You were silent for a moment and inhaled slowly, held your breath for a moment and exhaled just as slowly. It was the last chance to change your mind. It was now or…  
\- Alright… but… if it goes weird… That’s it. I am out… if that should happen… if it gets weird… or if I am mistaken as a gold digger or a slut by people. you replied and put your hands on the table again.  
\- I will make sure that it will not happen. James assured you and took your hand. He squeezed it and smiled widely. You were avoiding both of their eyes because to be honest, you were a bit embarrassed. The troll had won and you were going to do something very ingenious… or very stupid. There was no way of knowing yet.

\- So… I think we should celebrate this somehow… Michael said and winked his eye at James, who smirked at him and then looked at you. This time his gaze was very intense but not in a calming way, no, this time his gaze was practically stripping you naked although his eyes were not leaving yours. You felt your pulse rising and breathing getting harder, just like the air had suddenly left the room.  
\- There is one thing that we did not tell you… James said. He smiled at you and watched your cheeks turning redder as you waited him to tell you what they had planned but left out.  
\- What? you asked. You had known it! There was a catch, there always is a catch! However there was no backing out now, you were hooked, mesmerized, enchanted and completely under the spell of those magnificent blue eyes that still kept staring straight at your soul.

\- On special occasions… like this, now… we both might want to seduce you… Michael said and put his hand on your jaw so he guided you to stare at him. You forgot how to breath for a moment and then shook yourself out from the moment.  
\- Whoa! We did not agree about… you exclaimed but your words faded away the longer you kept talking. You were still staring at Michaels eyes. 

Those merciless blocks of ice that were also now stripping you naked. It was easy to see that they had planned this and you were completely helpless now. There was nowhere left to run, you could not hide. You were excited and terrified at the same time and it made you almost nauseous.  
\- Relax… Michael said and stood up. He went behind the chair that you were sitting in and put his hands on your shoulders and bend down to kiss your neck. He pulled your hair to the other side of your head and pressed a soft kiss just under your ear. The contact made you shiver and you bit your lip unintentionally.

\- Imagine… two very skillful men giving you all the attention that you deserve. Michael whispered and nibbled your ear a few times. You cursed in your native language again and closed your eyes for a moment.  
\- If this is you… testing my boundaries… you said with a very shaky tone, with a voice that was almost inaudible. You did not dare to open your eyes but you did not dare to keep them closed either. You were almost completely sure that whatever they had planned would not work for you but the deeper into the warmth of Michaels body you sank the more uncertain you became about whether you could or could not resist them. You opened your eyes with a sigh.  
\- No… this is us… taking you into the bedroom… James said and leaned closer to caress your thigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning for the next chapter. Skip it if you do not want to read about stuff like that. If you decide to read it anyway and get traumatized... then it is your own fault :D sorry :P


	10. Two very skilled men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT!  
> Threesome-smut... so... nothing to see here plot-wise.  
> Except that James and Michael agree that the first week is Michaels week... meaning that you are Mikkes girlfriend first.

\- I am not sure if I can do this… with you… both… you said and sighed nervously. The whole thing had happened so suddenly that you did not even know of you wanted to take it so far so fast. Having sex so quickly, considering that you barely knew either of them and you had not seen them for a long time, even with one man was on the limits of your comfort zone and now they were expecting you to give yourself to both of them. Your courage was slipping away and you were getting more and more certain that you could not do it… not now, not with both of them… other one watching, intensely, as the other would do the things to you that usually were done in private.

\- What are you afraid of? James asked. His voice was soft and velvety. He took your hand and lifted it on his lips. He kissed your knuckles softly as he kept staring into your eyes. Suddenly you felt his tongue brushing your skin, the spot that he was kissing. First very lightly, almost accidentally but according to the smirk that appeared on his face, it was no accident. He moved his lips from your knuckles on your fingers. He was still holding your hand with his keeping your fingers tightly together, firmly but gently. His lips brushed your middle finger and index finger just under your upper knuckles, sometimes lightly nibbling the skin until you felt his tongue again brushing the skin and sliding along the gap between those two fingers. He continued doing it slowly and then pressed his tongue into the gap and massaged the skin almost forcefully.

To Michael it looked that he had been just feeling the skin of your hand with his lips but you knew, oh, you knew what he was doing and by the way he was smirking at you, it was easy to figure out that it was not your fingers that he was thinking about.  
\- You can tell us to stop anytime… but I am sure that you will not want us to. Michael whispered into your ear. You swallowed once and tried to calm your mind as well as your breathing. It was getting challenging because Michael took your earlobe into his mouth and sucked it gently. He ran his hands slowly up and down on your arms and massaged your tensed muscles with calming, long strokes. He nibbled your earlobe a few times again before kissing your neck again.

\- Mmm… you smell intoxicating… he mumbled against your skin and then without a warning planted an openmouthed kiss on your neck. You felt his teeth on your skin, brushing it, almost biting but not quite. You felt his tongue soothing the roughness of his teeth, massaging and feeling your neck. You were frozen still, staring into James’ eyes almost terrified.  
\- You just have to… let go. There is no reason to feel ashamed. You are beautiful… you are truly exquisite. James assured you and kissed your palm softly. This time his kisses were soft and sweet.  
\- I… I-I don’t kno- you said but there was no voice coming out from your mouth, although even your whisper was shaky.  
\- Shush… Michael whispered into your ear. His fingertips were brushing your cheek and neck just slightly, like had been touching you with a feather. It tickled you a little but you were too nervous to notice, however instead of feeling ticklish you felt shivers spreading all over your body and your breathing getting shallower again, no matter how hard you tried to keep calm.

\- Do you know what is the beauty of seduction? Michael asked and put your hand firmly on your jaw, guided you to look at him and waited you to ask  
\- What?  
\- It is that when we start, you do not have to know, you do not even have to want it… but if we are capable enough, patient enough… you will be begging for it before the sun rises… That I can promise you. he replied and kept staring into your eyes. At this point you had almost forgotten the existence of James but he soon reminded you about himself by moving his hand, that was still caressing your thigh, a little bit higher. You swallowed once when you also realized that Michael had locked your other hand with his by crossing his fingers with yours and James was holding your other hand firmly by the wrist. There was not going to be any hand-slapping now.  
\- All you have to do is to be a little bit curious. James said and moved his hand on your inner thigh. You were wearing jeans but the touch was still very intimate.  
\- And a little bit brave. Michael added as he leaned closer to kiss you. You closed your eyes and leaned a bit closer that you felt his lips on yours. He had leaned closer but stopped before getting close enough. There he had kept you, feeling his breath on your lips, occasionally even brushing your lips with his but not giving you the kiss that your lips were hungry for. When you pressed your lips against his as a reaction to the whole situation, he pulled a bit further away and chuckled. You opened your eyes and realized that you had actually let go for a moment. It had been quite easy, dangerously easy, but how you were back on the ground again.

\- So what do you say? Do you want to know what we have planned for you? Michael asked and smirked at you as you bit your lip as a reaction to James’ caresses that were getting higher on your thigh slowly but surely.  
\- I don’t think I can- you answered.  
\- I think (Y/N) needs a bit more convincing… Michael mumbled and smirked at James who had gotten closer. He had sneakily shifted himself in a way that now as he was sitting, his knee was between your knees which prevented you from pressing your knees together. You had tried but you had encountered James’ knee. He shifted himself again so now he was sitting on the edge of his chair and his knee was further between your legs.  
\- I need you to stop… you whimpered. Michael smirked at you and removed his hand from your jaw. He started to caress your shoulders and collarbones on your shirt. James leaned closer and placed your hand, which he had been holding with his, on his upper thigh. He mumbled “keep it there” and put his hand under your chin so when he leaned to kiss you, he was kind of able to keep you in the angle that pleased him the most.

You felt his lips on yours, exploring and exploiting them. Sometimes he nibbled your lower lip playfully and chuckled when it made you sigh. His hand moved from your chin on your neck and then tangled on your hair. He was pulling them softly, changing the angle of your head sometimes so he was able to deepen the kiss. As you felt his tongue entering your mouth, you felt Michael shifting his hand on your breast and James moving his hand just a tiny bit higher so he finally was pressing his fingers against the spot where your legs met.  
You froze again and moved your free hand from James’ upper thigh because your plan was to stop somehow what was happening. You did not quite know how, or why, but you were painfully aware of yourself and you were not sure if you were ready for anything to happen. James released your lips and allowed you to catch your breath.  
\- Please, stop. you whispered. At that moment Michael, who had been caressing your breast while locking your other hand with his, squeezed your hardened, so far ignored nipple and made you to gasp for air. You arched your back and accidentally moved yourself against James’ fingers, which caused you to shake again.

\- Oh… you don’t really need me to do that… James chuckled and rubbed his fingers against the denim of your jeans. Michael continued stimulating your nipple and although your other had was free, you did not try to stop either of them. You just placed the hand on James’ upper thigh again and closed your eyes as you leaned back onto Michaels shoulder.  
\- Do you want to know what you need? James asked and stared at you mesmerized and with a mischievous smirk on his face.  
\- What? you gasped.  
\- You need Michael to continue. He will slide his hand under your shirt now and you will enjoy it. James answered with a sultry, deep tone. You opened your eyes and held your breath for a moment. You were fighting with yourself; should you just let go and let Michael as well as James to do whatever they pleased with you, or should you tell them to stop? A part of you wanted this, a part of you needed this, but then again, even the cave troll was now frozen still, not really able to decide how to react.  
\- Oh I like that idea, James. But first I need you to stand up. Would you like James to close the curtains or would you prefer that your neighbors get to enjoy it too? Michael asked. He spoke right into your ear, sometimes brushing your ear with his lips.

\- Close the curtains… you gasped as James shifted his fingers again.  
\- Ah… That could be considered as consent… Michael chuckled and nodded at James. He reluctantly removed his fingers that had been caressing you through your jeans and stood up. He pulled the curtains and took the remaining foods into the fridge.  
\- It was no-  
\- Oh I like that you keep saying “no”… it makes it so much more satisfying when you’ll beg me to fill you and James will be watching. Oh, he likes to watch, don’t you James? Michael asked and kept massaging your breast over your shirt as he stared at James who stopped for a moment and stared at you with that mischievous smirk on his face.  
\- I do… But I cannot wait to slide my fingers slowly inside you and feel how hot and wet you have become, how your body wants us even though your mind would keep resisting… so keep resisting, we will be happy to show you that you’re only fooling yourself if you’re claiming that you do not want this…  
You stared at James with wide eyes. No one had ever talked to you in such way and you had never believed that you actually liked it. You liked to hear what they wanted to do to you, you liked to be seduced, slowly and intimately. Michael stood up and pulled you to stand as well. You were wearing your jeans and a shirt that was leaving your shoulders bare. Under that you were wearing your bra and panties that you knew to look rather sexy, today for some reason you had decided to pamper yourself with beautiful underwear which made you feel a bit more confident because they were just the right amount of naughty without being slutty.

Michael stood behind you, he kissed your neck again and started to caress your arms and shoulders again. James walked in front of you and kept staring at you as Michaels hand slid under your shirt as James had advised. Michael kept feeling your breasts only through the fabric of your bra and he avoided touching your skin. He continued it, slowly stripping you away from your thresholds and insecurities.  
\- I think we should get rid of your clothes now… James stated. He wanted to see you naked because he was sure that you looked stunning without your clothes, besides, he wanted to start caressing you for real. Michael had had his fun, now was James’ turn to do what he had said to do.  
\- Have you ever had two men undressing you? James asked and stepped right in front of you. Your shirt had been slowly slid higher by Michael and it was now barely covering the top part of your breasts that were heaving quite rapidly as Michael kept caressing them. James put his hands on your waist and held you firmly.  
\- No… you answered with a shaky voice.  
\- Are you nervous? James asked. He stared into your eyes and then shifted his gaze on your breasts. He smiled mischievously and then returned to gaze into your eyes again.  
\- A little… you replied.  
\- No need to be… after this night, we both will know your body- he said.  
\- Every inch… Michael added, whispering into your ear.  
\- Even the most private parts… entirely. James stated. He did not sound like his normal self now. No, the cute guy from next door was somewhere else, taking a holiday maybe, or maybe he was watching, silently pleased to be in control. James was not making you laugh, no, not now. He was making you lose your breath and stumble in your thoughts.

\- And we will know what you like… soft or hard? Michael asked.  
\- Quick or slow? James added and examined the loon on your face.  
\- To control or to be controlled? Michael wondered and removed his hands so James was able to pull your shirt off. The room was cool and suddenly your chest was covered with Goosebumps. You tried to seek warmth from Michael whose body heat was practically radiating on you but he stepped a bit further away. James threw your shirt on the sofa and stepped closer. He opened the button of your jeans as well as the zipper, then with a couple of firm pulls your jeans were in your ankles.  
For now he left the jeans to chain your feet and then he asked Michael to lock your hands behind your back. You turned to look Michael with wide eyes but he told you to keep your eyes at James. You felt Michael stepping right behind you and placing his hands on your upper arms. He stroked the skin slowly and soothingly before kind of crossing his arms in a way that your arms got locked with his from elbows down. Michaels grip was gentle but firm. You knew that you could not escape, but you were slightly unsure if you would be let go if you asked to. The thought excited as well as scared you a little.  
Michael felt that your muscles were awfully tensed up. He whispered into your ear that he would not let anything bad to happen to you. “Do you trust me?” he asked and pressed a soft kiss on your head. You answered “yes” and Michael signed James that it was alright to continue.

\- I bet you like to be teased… James stated and put his hands on your hips. He moved his hands on your ass and caressed the skin of your ass cheeks over the fabric softly. His touch made you shiver a bit and slowly he moved to caress your thighs until his fingers were between your legs again, he moved his fingers teasingly, without adding pressure. This time there was only the thin fabric between your hot flesh and his fingers. He pressed them against the fabric and made you shake.  
\- Would you like us to tease you? James asked as he kept rubbing you through the fabric.  
\- I don’t know… I can’t… you whimpered and bit your lip. You did not dare to voice your fantasies, not yet, although you already knew that you wanted them both to take you, there was still that shadow of doubt in your mind which prevented you from surrendering yourself completely.  
\- Shush… Michael said and shifted himself a little so he was able to kiss your neck. James kept caressing you until your arousal was seeping through your panties and made his fingers slick. When you realized that you were basically dripping wet you felt embarrassed and exposed. They were right; even if your mind kept resisting, your body was willing to give itself to them, both of them, in all the ways they wanted to take you.  
James chucked and slid his hand under the fabric of your panties. He stroked your lips a couple of times teasingly before reaching any further. He told you to open your legs a little and you did. You spread your feet as far away from each other as you possibly could but your jeans were still restraining you.

\- How is it? Michael asked.  
\- Oh… you should feel this, mate… James answered and ran his fingers along your slit, sometimes brushing your clit but never focusing on it. When he touched your most sensitive spot, you shook a little and moaned with your eyes closed.  
\- I want to see what you’re doing to her… Michael mumbled and reached to see over your shoulder. James removed his hand and pulled down your panties. Then he returned to tease you, this time focusing on your entrance. He wanted to see how deep he could get his fingers, how many he could slide into you and how tight you were. Without a warning he pressed one finger in. You shook a little but since you were very aroused already, that one finger did not do that much to you… until he crooked it. He kept doing that “come closer” –gesture with his index finger and suddenly you felt that he had found a sensitive spot that you had not known that even existed.  
James removed his finger after memorizing the spot. You sighed out of frustration and lack of contact but luckily he was not going to stop, only adding a second finger. When he did, you gasped for air again. This time he started to pump his fingers in and out and used his thumb to rub your clit. Your breath quickened and soon soft moans were escaping your lips although you tried to keep them muffled.

You felt that you were about to come. Your heart was racing and in your mind you were thanking Michael for keeping you firmly in place. You were ready to surrender now but for your surprise James stopped before your release was being granted to you. When your breathing had calmed down, James started again, this time with three fingers. He started to move his fingers with a slow pace, pressing then as deep into your core as possible. He was avoiding your clit now and concentrating on your inner walls and on that sensitive spot that he had found.  
Your mind went blank as you moaned, gasped for air and tried to move yourself against James’ hand so your clit would get some stimulation as well. You needed to come, you needed to be allowed to come but yet again, your orgasm was being denied from you. This was repeated a couple of times until finally James did not stop and you were pushed over the edge. However that had required a little bit of begging from you. You had begged him to continue, begged him not to stop, begged him to touch you deeper, more intensely and not to ignore your clit because you needed it to be caressed in order to reach your orgasm.

You felt that Michael was getting aroused behind you, it was due to your moves; every time you had shook or tried to gain better friction to your sensitive areas, you had rubbed your ass against Michaels crotch and you were able to feel now what it had done to him.  
\- Can you feel how hard you have made me? Michael asked.  
\- I know you would like to taste me… Michael whispered. “Not today… wait until we are alone” he continued.  
\- Tonight we are here for you. he said with the soft, seductive tone, and released your hands when he was sure that your legs would carry you. You stepped out from your jeans and followed Michael into your bedroom. James was there already closing the curtains.  
\- Enjoying yourself so far? James asked and looked at you with a proud look on his face. You were blushing a bit, painfully aware that you were as red as a tomato and wearing only your bra.  
\- I think we should remove this too. James stated and felt the backside of the bra. It was Michaels time to be in front of you. James opened the hooks and slid the undergarment off.

\- Shouldn’t you two also get undressed?  
\- Oh… you’d like to see us naked?  
\- I just think that it is a bit unfair that… you answered and tried to cover your naked form with your arms.  
\- Shush… Michael said and took your hands. He took a slow look from your toes to your eyes and smiled as he told you that you looked very beautiful. “Please” you whispered and smiled when Michael nodded at you. You felt his chest with your fingertips and then moved your hands on the hem of his shirt, pulled the shirt off and returned to caress the muscles of his shoulders and upper arms. He felt strong, warm and his skin was soft.  
Michael put his hands on your cheeks and leaned to kiss you, which felt almost too private and it was cut short. You enjoyed kissing very much but somehow it felt impropriate, too intimate. There you drew your line. You turned around and removed his shirt as well. He was also warm and soft but he did not have so defined muscles as Michael. James was the cute guy from next door.

The next you opened the belt of James’ jeans and reached to touch him under his pants but over his boxers before you pulled his jeans down. You repeated the same with Michael. They were both quite large and your hand was shaking when you touched them. It was obvious that you were a bit nervous and there was no point of denying it.  
\- Please, take the lead. you said to Michael who guided you to lay sideways on your bed. They had agreed with James that he would caress your breasts and hold your arms as Michael would begin pleasing you with his tongue. You lay on your back and waited. They both looked at you with hungry spark in their eyes and then James knelt by the bed and asked you to tuck your hands over the edge of the bed. You did as requested and enjoyed the feeling of his fingers brushing your arms very gently and sweetly.

James’ hands got closer to your breasts and reached to kiss your lower lip. He brushed the skin around your breasts with featherlike motions and then rubbed your nipples with his palms using firm but kind, slow motions. He knew that when Michael started with you, he would most likely have to hold you on your place, return a favor, so to speak. Therefore his attention was now entirely on your breasts and nipples that he massaged, teased and pinched time to time.  
Michael kissed your ankle. It was the ankle that had gotten twisted but it had healed already. He kept planting soft kisses on your skin as he got higher. When he reached your knee, he lifted your leg a little and massaged the sensitive skin of the bend of your knee. It felt heavenly especially when he kissed the spot and let his fingers wander higher. He lowered your leg on the mattress again and moved to kiss your inner thigh, trailing the path that his fingers had mapped already.

Slowly he got closer to your most private parts, almost sneakily, mostly because since James was still caressing your breasts with heavenly touches it was getting difficult to concentrate to two different things at the same time. Multitasking was getting impossible. Suddenly you felt Michael spreading your legs wide open and looking at you with a look on his face that was almost predatory. You raised your head to see what was happening but you were greeted with that mischievous, hungry smirk.  
James slid his hands from your breasts along your arms and held you firmly. Then he nodded to Michael who lowered himself to take the first lick which made you shook. James’ fingers had been amazing, very skilled indeed, but Michaels tongue was from another planet. You knew that James was staring at your expressions and making notes of how you reacted when Michaels tongue slid on your lower lips slowly before reaching to tease your clit.  
\- The next time… I will be the one who gets to taste you. he whispered into your ear. You closed your eyes and chuckled as Michael caressed your clit with the hard tip of his tongue and you gasped for air when he suddenly sucked it almost roughly. He teased your opening with his finger and slid three in.

\- Should we tell Michael about your sensitive spot? James asked and kept your upper body firmly against the mattress although you were trying to move as a reaction to Michaels caresses. You could not answer because you were getting out of breath.  
\- It is not polite to keep secrets… James mumbled into your ear. Michael stopped caressing you with his mouth for a moment. He wanted to find that spot as well.  
\- Let him hear you when he finds it. James said and chuckled when you shook a little. Michael crooked his fingers and rubbed the front inner wall and suddenly you trembled almost violently and gasped for air. Michael stopped, let you to catch you breath and repeated the exact same thing. This time you let go a quite loud moan and closed your eyes.  
\- I see… Michael said and continued caressing you teasingly slowly, taking you higher and closer to the edge but stopping before you actually reached your climax. He sometimes took long licks from your opening to your clit and sometimes just focused on the sensitive parts with the tip of his tongue. His fingers kept thrusting you and massaging your inner walls, never allowing you to get your orgasm. He wanted to make you beg. He knew he had all night and he could go on forever.

You however could not go on forever. It was a sweet torture to be teased like that but you needed to be filled with something else than fingers now.  
\- Please!  
\- Please, what? James asked.  
\- Let me come… just… make me come and then… I want you… you panted and pleaded.  
Michael started to suck your clit and rub that spot inside you. You tried to arch your back but you were kept against the mattress by James with help of Michael who had locked your ass against the bed with arm, as he pressed his hand on your lower stomach. You started to moan and then held your breath. Every muscle in your body was tensed up until you came undone and relaxed completely.

Michael slowed down his actions and removed his fingers, although he first surprised you a couple of times by sliding them back in deep before finally pulling them out and kissing your sex one more time. James stood up and walked to Michael. They had a quick chat about how late it was and how James had an early morning tomorrow.  
\- You take this first week. James suggested because he knew that he was going to be busy and nodded at Michael, who nodded him back as he walked to the side of the bed where your head was.  
\- So… we were thinking… James has to go soon and he will be busy so… you will be my girl for this first week… Therefore… He will give it to you first…  
\- Okay…  
\- Do you mind if I’ll watch? he asked with a curious look on his face.  
\- No. you answered and smirked. You rolled on your stomach and raised your upper body a bit so you could support yourself with your elbows. You turned your head a bit and raised your ass. Michael stood up and sat down on a chair that was next to the bed.

\- How would you like to take me, Mr. McAvoy? you asked and bit your lip. You felt James spreading your legs with his when he positioned himself behind you. He traced your spine with his tongue until he was kissing your neck.  
\- This would be great. he mumbled into your ear and slid his hand on your stomach to change your angle a little. He was a bit aroused already but he quickly got hard as he started to rub himself against your ass. You moved yourself against him with slow circular motion until he was ready to take you. Then he re-positioned himself and rubbed his manhood against your wet slit and intentionally rubbed your clit with the tip of his flesh. He teased you until you were begging him to fill you. Michael kept staring at you intensely and tried to imagine what it would feel like to slide into you slowly until he had reached the most secret depths of you.

James pressed slowly against your opening and then slammed himself in entirely. Normally that would had been somewhat painful but now it felt just right. He pulled himself almost out completely and then started to thrust himself into you quickly, sometimes slowing down and then quickening his pace again. He kept telling you how good and tight you felt and how beautiful you sounded when you moaned and panted because of pleasure.  
\- Get on your fours. he mumbled and helped you into the new position. In this position you were even able to take a look at Michael every once and a while. He was still watching you taking it from his friend, enjoying the show and imagining the ways he would give it to you. James tangled his other hand in your hair and pulled gently as he kept his other hand firmly on your waist. You shifted yourself a little so he started to hit that spot inside you every time he thrust himself into you. Again he slowed down. He let go your hair and reached to caress your breasts on his way lower. He wanted to make you come, he wanted you to enjoy as much as he was enjoying.  
\- Is this good? he asked and started to grind himself into you instead of pounding furiously. “Yes… please, don’t stop!” you moaned and moved yourself with him. His fingers were caressing your clit tirelessly and you felt that you were about to come soon. He felt good, being filled up with him felt amazing. “Don’t stop” you gasped and soon after that you reached your climax again. You fought to keep yourself from collapsing on the bed because James did not stop caressing you. You had been slightly worried about whether your would be able to enjoy being watched but as you got closer to your peak and especially now that you were riding your orgasm off you could not care less if Michael was watching or not, you just hoped that if he was, he would enjoy what he saw... And he did.

As long as your inner walls kept clenching around his hard flesh, you felt tighter, almost like you had been sucking him to give him his release which soon followed. He panted and slowed down his actions, he pulled himself almost entirely out and then thrust himself deep again before pulling out for good. You lay down on the bed to catch your breath. Then you sat up and smiled at him as he was putting on his clothes. It was really late and he was supposed to be home already.  
\- I’ll see you after a week. James said and kissed you briefly. You put your hand on his cheeks and nibbled his lower lip.  
\- Have fun with Michael. he said and smirked when he pulled back and left. You took the time that Michael and James were talking in the entrance hall to wash yourself a little. You stared at your reflection in the mirror; your hair was messed up and your cheeks were flushed.  
\- Be a good, gentle boyfriend. James said to Michael when he exited from the apartment. James would had wanted to take you gently but he figured that he would do it when it was his time to be alone with you. He decided that there would be plenty of kissing and embracing. But now, he had to hurry and shift his thoughts away from you. You were Michaels girl now and he had no right to be jealous.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. You unlocked it and Michael stepped in.  
\- How are you doing? he asked. You were not sure what to answer. You were doing fine but the whole situation was just strange. The way you had been taken felt very impersonal and although it had felt good and it had been very satisfying, you needed to feel loved now. There had been too little kissing, too little gentle caresses and too few loving embraces.  
\- I’m… I’m alright. you answered and tried to mask the fact that you were a bit shaken about the whole thing. Michael brushed your hair a couple of times and kissed your forehead.  
\- Take a shower with me. Then we’ll sleep. he said and smiled against your forehead. He was not quite sure how he could not be jealous of you when you were with James. He knew that it had been his own brilliant idea but he had mixed feelings about it now that he had seen his friend taking you in the way that felt a bit impersonal. He did not want you to feel used, that was the last thing that he wanted you to feel.  
Michael put the water running and took your hand. He was your boyfriend now and he had the right to be protective over you. He pulled you into his embrace and ran his fingers on your skin as the warm water caressed his back and fell on both of you softly. After the shower he helped you to dry yourself and led you into the bedroom. He opened the covers and followed you under them.

\- Did you have fun tonight? he asked. Your night lamp was still on and it allowed him to see your expressions. You were laying on your side facing him and he was laying on his side facing you.  
\- It was… different.  
\- Uhuh?  
\- I still want you, though. you said and smiled slightly. You were not that tired and there was still some adrenaline rushing in your blood so there was no way you could had fallen asleep just yet anyway.  
\- Really?  
\- Yeah…  
\- How would you like to have me? he asked and took your hand. He pressed it against his lips and smiled.  
\- Just… come closer and kiss me. you whispered with a smile on your face. You did not have to ask your boyfriend twice. He wrapped his arm around you and rolled you against the soft pillows. You felt his skin with your fingertips. His skin was still a bit damp from the shower and his hair was messy. You had never seen him so adorable, not in an interview or even in a movie. He looked like a boyfriend.

He lowered himself on you carefully and nested between your legs. He brushed your hair with his fingers and caressed your cheek before finally kissing you. His were soft and he was being very graceful as he kissed you. You let your hands wander on his back and sides and you let your mind wander off. Nothing but you and him existed and all that mattered was that moment. You wrapped your legs around his hips which allowed him to rub your sensitive flesh with his manhood that was getting aroused again from the contact.  
Michael kissed your neck as his hand caressed you freely. He brushed your skin with soft, calm strokes and massaged your curves gently. You felt that he was getting hard again and soon he would be ready to fill you up. “Does this feel good for you?” he asked when he reached to caress your clit gently. He wanted to make sure that you were aroused enough to take him. “Yes, but I need you inside me, now” you said and raised yourself to kiss him. He locked his lips with yours as he re-positioned himself to your opening.

\- I need you to be close to me, loving and gentle. you whispered when he was about to enter you. “Of course” he answered and kissed you passionately as he slowly slid deeper. He gave you time to adjust yourself before he started to move. With slow deep thrusts he started to claim your body to be his. You helped him to get deeper by moving yourself in his rhythm and embracing him tightly, just like he did embrace you.  
His lips felt like heaven and the closeness made you feel deeply appreciated. You did not know if you would come but to be honest, it did not matter. However Michael noticed that you were a bit too calm for the likes of him so he sneakily slid his hand between your bodies so every time he moved, his hand moved against your clit and intensified the pleasure for you.

He kept making love to you slowly, with a relaxed pace until you started to get closer to your orgasm. He started to caress you with a bit more intensity and muffled your moans with his mouth. You pulled him closer and raised yourself to meet his body better as you came. You were totally satisfied although the last orgasm had not been a ground shaking experience. It was more like a warm wave that washed over you gently and left you in a state of haze. Michael kept the slow pace and enjoyed feeling you clenching around him; a concrete proof that he had succeeded in what he had set his mind to do. Soon after you he also reached his peak.  
He thrust deep a couple of times and enjoyed becoming undone in your arms. After he had given you all he had he pulled out and still rubbed his manhood against your sensitive flesh as he continued kissing you. That sent shivers all around your body and made you chuckle against his mouth. When his pulse had returned somewhat normal, he rolled next to you and took you into his arms. He kissed your forehead and listened to your breathing as he slipped away into the soft haze of sweet dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And... I hope this was any good.


	11. The last time for the mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... one would think that waking up with a handsome man is nice... things can also go wrong.

You had strange dreams about the events that had just occurred and suddenly in your dream James and Michael started to laugh at you but you did not know why. You had not said anything funny but still they were laughing. Then you were in your own bed, alone, listening to their laughter echoing in the room.  
You opened your eyes. The sun was shining into your bedroom through the curtains which meant that it was about noon, early afternoon maybe. The air in the room was cool and the linens felt soft against your naked form. Truly heavenly besides there was no hurry to get out from bed and Michael was…

You turned on your other side and expected to see Michael sleeping next to you. The bed however was empty, there was no one else in the room but you. “Okay, he is in…” you thought and listened carefully to get any signs of his whereabouts. You were greeted with the familiar silence. “That’s… odd” you thought and rolled on your back. As you stared at the ceiling in silence, you started to get the picture; Michael was not in the apartment because he had left.  
The next thing you did was to check your phone. Surely there would be a message or at least a missed call but no. There were no missed calls or new messages. You sat up and scoffed. “Fuck!” you cursed aloud as you looked around you. After a moment you decided to shout Michaels name a couple of times, just to make sure that you were not mistaken about the fact that your apartment was empty, excluding you of course.

\- Michael? you called his name and when there was no answer, you got out from the bed and got dressed in your pajama that was on the chair next to the bed. The top-shorts –combo was slightly wrinkled because one specific, now missing, Irishman had sat on them… no, you did not want to think the whole thing.  
You walked into the living room and found your yesterdays clothes scattered around. The sight made you sigh as you collected them and put them into the washing machine. You decided to strip your bed from the linen as well because they just reminded you about the guys that were not there anymore. It was getting so clear now. James had left straight after he had gotten his fun. He had just put on his clothes and dared even to say “I’ll see you after a week” when he had surely meant “I’ll see you never but thanks for the easy fuck”. Then Michael… Oh that Irish bastard had stayed for the night to get his share. “I wonder if he had actually stayed until morning if I had not wanted him at night” you thought as you changed the linens of your bed and put the old ones into the washing machine. So, he had stayed, waited that you had fallen asleep and then left. There was no knowing if he had actually left right after you had “passed out” or had he slept at your place and then left before you woke up.

You did not know which one would be better, most likely the version of things where he had waited you to fall asleep and then go. Thinking that he had cuddled you the entire night, taken advantage of your bed in sleeping purposes and then left when he was completely done with you… yeah… that was worse scenario out of the two possible ones.  
Suddenly it felt like there was no air in the room. You had to get out and escape even yourself. “What an easy slut” you scolded yourself and laughed bitterly when you thought about it. They had known that they would be able to seduce you, they had known that it would take just a “promise of a relationship” and a little bit kindness with a flirty smirk. You had tried to say “no” but you had wanted them anyway and they had seen it and used it against you.  
You decided not to care. You would think this as that one slip, that one experiment that you had and now it was over. You had enjoyed, you had not been forced into anything you had not wanted… you had just been taken advantage of and you had fallen into the trap. Yes, it had been a trap. They had known that if they had just suggested that “let’s have a threesome and then you’ll never hear from us again”, you would had never done it. To mask it as a celebration for a “beginning of a relationship” was just… low.

But you had fallen for it. You should had known better. “I mean, come on! Two handsome, famous men… what on earth would they want from me? They only wanted to see if they could… fuck… me and then leave after they had succeeded. The only reason why they wanted me was because I had told them goodbye, bruised their egos… so maybe this was a twisted payback… Well I am sorry, Mr. Fassbender and Mr. McAvoy! I had also fun! You did not use me, I used you… little… fuckers!” you shouted at your empty apartment.  
Without thinking about it more you changed into your daily clothes, this time a skirt and a top that had a decorative scarf attached to it, put on your coat and took your phone with you. When you were about to leave the apartment you noticed that your phones battery was dying. You usually always had the phone connected to the charger during the night but this time you had forgotten it. “5 percent of power left” you thought and decided that “fuck it” you did not need your phone anyway. There was no one that would want to get in touch with you and frankly, you did not want to be bothered by anyone.

It took you a moment to find your charger. It was not there where it usually was and your mind was not co-operating that well. Since you did not find your charger as quickly as you wanted, you just left the phone on your table and raised your hands up as a sign of surrendering. “Whatever” you said, put on your shoes and left the apartment with your wallet and keys. You took the elevator down and leaned onto the back wall. For a moment you closed your eyes and when the elevator reached the ground floor, you took one glance at the mirror and shook your head.  
After taking a deep breath you stepped out from the elevator and walked to the front door, completely unaware of the surrounding world. There was a neighbor who greeted you but you did not greet her back because you failed to notice her entirely. You stepped out from the building and held the door open for a man who was carrying a heavy-looking shopping back in his arms. You heard him thanking you and you smiled briefly as a response.

He however did not go in the building but stayed at the doorway. He was saying something, he was talking to you.  
\- (Y/N)…  
\- Yeah? Hi… what? you asked and shook yourself out from your thoughts. The man was wearing a hat that had a narrow brim, he looked very stylish and there was something familiar about him, about his mouth. The brim was shadowing his eyes so to be honest, you had no idea who that person was… a neighbor most likely.  
\- Where are you going?  
\- Uhm… you said and wondered who on earth was asking and why. You just wanted to get away from the apartment and you were not too happy about this delay.  
\- Did you have something scheduled? the man asked and raised his head so you were able to see his face. Then it hit you. You knew this person. It was Michael. Of course you had thought that his voice sounded very familiar but you had been deep inside your own head that you had not made that connection, besides you had been sure that you would never see him again.

\- What are you doing here? you asked with a surprised tone, still holding the door open.  
\- What do you mean? he asked and scanned your face to get any clues of what was going on with you. He noticed that you were surprised to see him, which mean that you had not expected to run into him, which meant that you had not really understood the concept of “boyfriend”… which meant that-  
\- Well… Uhm… I woke up and you were not there so I assumed that you had left. you stated with a casual tone which, to be honest, annoyed Michael greatly. You made it sound like he would actually do that and that kind of insulted him.  
\- Are you serious? he asked.  
\- Yeah… I mean… That’s what people do. you commented and followed Michael into the elevator. You decided that you would act like you did not care and like it had not shocked you to wake up alone. Michael did not know what to think. His purpose had been to visit the shop and return before you even noticed that he had been gone. He had imagined finding you in the bed, snuggling the pillow and then he would had kissed your arm all the way up to your shoulder and purred into your ear that it was time to wake up. Instead of that he found you leaving the apartment and asking him what he was doing there.

The elevator stopped and you walked to your door, opened it for Michael and followed him in. After taking off your own shoes you took the bag and carried it into the kitchen. You did not know what to think either and the worst thing that Michael could do now was to start asking questi-  
\- So what was that about? he asked. He sounded curious and quite ready to hear some answers. “Oh shit” you thought as you put the groceries into the fridge. You sighed silently and squeezed an apple in your hand. Then you faked a smile and asked casually   
\- What was “what”?   
\- “That’s what people… do”… that they leave. he said and looked at you. You seemed distant and avoided his gaze or being close to him. Although you smiled and were almost a poster girl for “everything is fine” but it was clearly a mask that you used to hide your true feelings. Michael was frustrated. He had assumed that you were past that point with him but clearly he had been wrong.

\- Well… it’s no big deal. you said and smiled. This time you looked at him straight into his eyes and shrugged your shoulders to emphasize just how it really did not matter.  
\- So… you were completely fine with me not being here? he asked and tilted his head a bit as he tried to figure you out. He knew that you were not a person who did hookups so he suspected that your true feelings were not that casual.  
\- Yeah… I mean why would I not be? you asked and chuckled. You had now managed to put the groceries into the fridge and closed the door. You opened the door again and took the apple out. Then you took a big bite and complimented the flavor which was just the right amount of sweet and sour, perfect.  
\- Were you expecting me to be gone? Michael asked. He did not let himself to be fooled by that casual apple-eating diversion.  
\- I don’t know… you laughed but your laughter seemed fake. It was fake, everything about your current “mood” was fake. Internally you were torn in two. In a way you were relieved that he had not left for real but then again, you did not know if he had left and then decided to return because he felt sorry for you. It was possible, hell. it made sense, it was probable. The most reasonable explanation that your mind came up with.  
\- Were you hoping that I would be gone? he asked and sounded a bit insulted. He could not read you. He knew that something was off, you had your mask again, but he could not read your mind so he did not know what was making you to act like this. Sure he had left the apartment and sure you had woken up alone, but he had come back and he even got the bag full of groceries to prove his reasons.

\- No… I was just… It’s no big deal… you said and decided to just forget about it. In your mind the topic had been discussed now and there was no reason to keep talking about it. You smiled and tried to appear as normal as possible. Michael however was not done with the subject. He wanted… no, he needed to know what was going on with you.  
\- If you had been at my place, would you had left? he asked instead of letting it go. You cursed in your mind and fought to keep the smile on your face. The smile that had been somewhat sincere turned into a fake-one again. You did not want to talk about it but there was no escaping, especially now that you had asked him to “drop it” and told him that in your opinion there was nothing to talk about. Michael however told you that he wanted to hear if you had left, so he repeated the question. You answered with the most pro-hookup-kind-of -voice  
\- Yeah… sure. I mean it’s not like you would want me there, right?   
You even chuckled a bit and then took another bite of the apple. It annoyed Michael.

\- Right…  
\- So… yeah… you can go if you have things… to do… you continued.  
\- Yes I have, but they are right here… with you… breakfast. Michael answered and his tone was showing signs of frustration. You figured that maybe this was the good time to try to let it go. He had brought breakfast and he was now here.  
\- Yeah… well… What would you like to eat? you asked but your tone was not that sincere. You sounded almost arrogant and there was a distance between you two.   
\- I want you to get back in bed and I want to come to wake you up… It is clear that you are upse-  
\- I am not upset… I just was alone when I woke up, no big deal… just normal hookup –situation. It’s cool. you commented and put the apple on the table. You figured that if you held the apple in your hand you would sink your nails into it soon because you did not like to be questioned the way you were at the moment.  
\- But this is not… a hookup situation. I am your boyfr-  
\- Boyfriend? What does that mean anyway? you asked, or stated. To Michael it sounded that you were actually mocking the entire word. “For fuck sake, girl! You know what a boyfriend means!” he thought and swallowed once before answering  
\- It means that I want to know you better and spend time with you!  
\- Right… like you really wanted… you scoffed and smiled defiantly. You shook your head and pressed your nails firmly against your skin. Physical pain made it easier to stay in character. Michael however noticed that and sighed deeply. He did not want you to hurt yourself because of him, because you did not want to admit to him that waking up alone had been terrible and it had looked bad.

\- What is wrong? he asked with a calm tone.  
\- Nothing! Everything is fine… I have no idea what you’re talking about. you stated and put your hands behind your back. It did not feel natural at all so you put them into your pockets.  
\- But...  
\- You’re making it weird with your questions. you stated and straightened your posture to appear taller and more convincing.  
\- You’re pushing me away… Michael said with a sad, soft tone but in your ears it sounded more like and accusation than a sincere notion.  
\- No… you said and shook your head. It was getting harder to keep the role on and it did not make it easier that Michael saw that you were not fine but you could not let yourself fall now.  
\- Where is that person with whom I fell asleep? he asked and took a step closer. He was going to put his hands on your cheeks but you took a step backwards and answered  
\- I have no idea what you’re talking about…

It was almost an insult that he had said that. He had fallen asleep with you but then he had left before you had woken up and he had not left a note. Maybe the person that he had fallen asleep last night was the fake one. “Ha, how about that?” you thought. The person who had agreed to anything last night was the hoax-version of you, the stupid… foolish… naïve… ridiculo-  
\- I need you to talk to me.  
\- And say what? you scoffed. Your mind had turned against you, your own insecurities were working against you. You thought that you could detect hints of dishonesty in Michael but it was your radar that was faulty. You were getting pissed off for completely unnecessary and stupid reasons and in a way you knew it but since you were digging the hole deeper with every breath you took and with every thought that crossed your mind, there was no way to tell the difference for certain… so you went with your gut, which was off.

\- That you got upset when I was not there… you can even scream, if y-  
\- Scream? You want me to… scream? you asked. You were surprised because you had thought that you had managed to keep your cool pretty well, although, now you were about to lose it for sure.  
\- Yes! he exclaimed. Michael saw you struggling but there was nothing that he could do unless he pushed you to your breaking point. Maybe then your defensive fortress would crumble down and he could get close to you, the real you. That was the only way so he decided to push you.  
\- There is nothing to scream about. you answered with a neutral tone. Your fake smile was gone and your face was blank. Your tone had been stripped from any kind of nuances and you were just an empty face.  
\- Right… So why are you hiding behind that… mask again? he asked. He knew that you would be annoyed for the fact that he saw the difference and was not afraid to point it out.  
\- Ha! You think that you know me, but you do not. I don’t appreciate you assuming that you do, when you don’t. you stated, took your hands out from your pockets and crossed them.

\- So you want me to leave? Michael asked. He was curious to hear what you would answer now. Would you tell him to stay, or more like ask, or would you-  
You though your options through.  
\- You can do what you want. you answered. It was not a good answer because it gave him nothing. A silence followed. It was a cold silence that chilled his core. Your calmness chilled his core even more.  
\- Fine… but just so you know… I have equally much to lose here than you do. he stated and put his hat on.  
\- Yeah right… Like I would lose something. you commented and smiled arrogantly. You did not believe for a second that Michael cared about you. It was not possible. He did not know you and this was just some kind of twisted game for him. You however were wrong again, totally blinded by your own upset-ness.   
\- Is that how little last night meant for you? he asked. You laughed sarcastically. “It was not that great” you convinced to yourself and kept on laughing, almost manically. Michael looked offended. You heard him asking “so?”  
\- Meant? Did it mean something then? you asked and although your laughter faded away in the middle of the sentence, you kept smiling defiantly.  
\- It meant to me… And it still does! Michael exclaimed.  
\- Oh please… you do not have to say that. Last night was just… a thing… that happened… and-  
\- I am not going to listen to this. Michael stated and walked into the entrance hall. He wanted to know if he could point out your bluffing like that.

\- Yeah… go! Leave just when the situation gets tough! See if I care. you stated and watched him putting his shoes on. You were getting closer to your own personal breaking point, hoping that he would just shut you up with a kiss or do something. Instead of that he did nothing but started to put on his jacket.  
\- It’s not like I was not expecting this! Not after waking up alone! you smirked. Your tone had risen and you were almost shouting.  
\- I went to get some break-  
\- Right… I bet you were going to go but then felt sorry for me and decided to stay around for a moment more. you stated and then Michael pushed you against the wall and locked your hands against it with his. He stared at you and said  
\- No, my intention was to come back bef-  
\- And you expect me to just believe that? you asked and looked straight into the icy depths of his eyes. Michael let you go and dropped his head as he sighed. The sigh sounded defeated and it annoyed you. You were starting to realize how foolishly you were behaving and more importantly, how wrong you were.  
\- Yes… because that is what happened… he answered when he raised his head. He looked at you with a sorrowful look on his face. “Just go” you said and watched Michael opening the door.

\- So you will accept the groceries anyway? he scoffed. He was disappointed that you were asking him to leave when instead of doing that you should had been stopping him from going.  
\- Feel free to get them… I don’t care. you answered with a shaky voice. Even as shaky as your voice was, it still sounded defensive and it hurt Michael.  
\- Yes I can see that. he mumbled. He noticed you biting your lip so you would not start to cry but you were not going to be able to keep your face on neutral anymore. Any moment now you would burst into tears and you were not going to let him see that, neither you were going to let him comfort you.  
\- I trust you know your way to the kitchen… I will just get out of your way. you said and walked into your bedroom and slammed the door shut, got rid of your top that now felt like it was strangling you, crawled on your bed and started to cry. You muffled your cries with your pillow until you heard the front door of your apartment to close with a bang. Then you let out a loud cry and threw the pillow against the bedroom door. Like it would help, because it didn’t. Luckily you had still plenty of pillows and you rolled on your back to stare at the ceiling.

After a moment there was a knock on the bedroom door. You did not answer but Michael came in anyway. You did not want him to see that you had cried so you rolled on your stomach and buried your face into the pillow. You felt the mattress to shift slightly as Michael crawled on the bed closer. He pressed a kiss on your back and planted countless of soft kisses on your skin as he got higher. He revealed your neck by brushing the hair away with his fingertips.  
His lips were almost burning hot against your cool skin when he lowered himself to kiss your neck. You were still crying, silently sobbing at least, shaking time to time. Michael did not say anything. He took off his shirt and lay down next to you. He buried his face into your hair and wrapped his hand around you after he had first turned you to lay on your side, facing away from him. When he had pulled you as close as possible he started to trace your skin with his fingertips so very softly. He enjoyed feeling your skin against his and he hoped that you liked it too.

Michael kissed your neck, brushed the skin with his lips and smiled against it when he felt you calming down after a while.   
\- I… am… so… sorry… he whispered and planted gentle kisses between the words.  
\- I shouldn’t… have left. It must have… been terrible… to wake up alone. he continued and kissed you time to time. His words were soft and he kept so close that you could even feel his lips moving when he was speaking, or more like mumbling.  
\- Why didn’t you leave a note? you asked with a voice that was barely audible.  
\- I… wanted to surprise you… with breakfast and I was… supposed to be here… before you wake up. he answered and kept kissing you, using a bit of tongue and teeth time to time although he kept his caresses sweet. He nibbled your earlobe and made a sultry “mmm” sound into your ear and ran his hand on your leg. You kept hugging the pillow.  
\- Please look at me. he pleaded. “I look terrible” was your answer and you wiped your tears off your cheeks.  
\- You look beautiful. he mumbled against your shoulder. After a couple of breaths you turned on your back and dared to meet his gaze.  
\- Why aren’t you wearing a shirt? he asked with a curious tone.  
\- It felt like it was strangling me. you answered. You felt naked, exposed but a part of you liked it because Michael was still there. He was accepting you as you were, with red eyes and teary face, in your skirt and not-so-sexy bra.  
\- My poor girl… but I have to be honest… I do not mind that you’re shirtless. More for me to adore. he said and caressed your stomach. He was drawing random shapes with his fingertip and sometimes shielded your skin with his entire, large hand.

\- Why aren’t you wearing one? you asked and chuckled a little. Michael smiled when he saw you smiling. This time he knew the smile to be real and not fake as before.  
\- Because… I know you like my muscles-  
You started to laugh, put your hand on his neck and caressed it with slow, relaxed motions. You were happy that he was there. You were happy that he was not wearing a shirt because like this, it felt like he was closer to you.  
\- I’m sorry… I did not mean to snap like that. I was just being stupid… you whispered, turned your head a bit so you would avoid his eyes because you were embarrassed.   
\- I want you here and I know that I said that I don’t care… but I do care. you whispered. Michael whispered a soft “hey” and guided your face to look at him again.

\- I need you to be yourself with me. I need you to laugh… to cry… to tell me when something is wrong… trust me to make you happy. he said and smirked at you. He leaned closer to kiss you. You caressed his shoulders and enjoyed to feel him right there, his warmth, his breathing, his lips dancing with yours as an endless stream of caresses, soft and gentle as well as deep and passionate.  
His hand had moved from your stomach a bit higher and it was resting now between your breasts. It fell and rose in the rhythm of your breathing and made you feel pleasantly secure. He planted soft kisses on your collarbones and then pressed his head on your chest. Your heart was beating steadily and he enjoyed the sound very much. You ran your fingers through his hair and asked  
\- Shall we try that waking up again?


	12. First week with Michael

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dating is fun :D
> 
> Oh... it will get slightly smutty towards the end. (Nothing really happening, but talking about something happening later)

You got out from bed and prepared breakfast together. It was fun and you let yourself to trust that Michael was there because he wanted to be there. You joked around, kissed a lot, went out for a walk, prepared dinner together and then watched a movie. This time he did the arm-stretching –move and you snuggled close to him. He stayed for the night and left the next morning because he had an interview to attend to. He however woke you up before he left just to avoid any misunderstandings and besides he wanted to have an intense kissing-session with you… and eat breakfast together.

On Monday you went to work in the afternoon. Before that you ate some lunch with Michael and agreed to meet him tomorrow, on Tuesday evening after your shift was over. He said that he would take you to a nice restaurant for a dinner and after that for a drink in a pub nearby his apartment. The dinner was great and Michael was behaving in such a gentlemanly manner that it made you feel truly special. He selected the dishes for both of you, it made you slightly nervous because usually you never let anyone to select your food for you, but for some reason Michael got it right.

You danced a couple of times between the courses and then left the restaurant, took a taxi to the pub and continued the evening there. It was getting late and Michael asked you to spend the night at his place but since you had an early morning tomorrow, you had to turn the invitation down. You suggested that you would meet him on Wednesday and stay the night then but Michael had a busy day so all he could manage was a quick lunch during your lunch break. However he suggested that on Thursday he would drive you to the seaside to enjoy the sunny afternoon. It had been more or less rainy for a longer time and now that the forecast promised only a little bit wind and almost entirely cloudless skies, he had figured that you both could escape the hectic city for a few hours. You had only a short morning shift at work and he had only a morning meeting with his manager so it meant that you were good to go at 1PM when Michael came to pick you up from your work. 

It took about 2 hours to drive to Brighton, which was your destination and that 2-hour-ride you kept singing hit songs from previous decades. Michael was specialized in the hits of 80’s and you got your moments to shine with the 90’s “classics”. Sometimes you did not know the lyrics so you just mumbled something until the chorus –part came and sometimes you just played your imaginary drums or guitar or otherwise danced mostly with your hands. Michael mimicked the synthesizer and you both were having a great time. He was sometimes driving a bit faster than he should had but he was a skilled driver, besides there was not a lot of traffic heading towards Brighton. It was not the most common season to spend time on the beach but you thought that it was nice that it was going a quiet, private picnic.

 

Little past 3 PM Michael parked the car you both stepped out. You were greeted with cool sea air and the sound of seagulls screaming in the distance, somewhere over the sea that was uncommonly calm. There were only a handful of people on the beach and it was a large beach so basically you were alone. First you found smooth rocks where you sat for an hour just talking and embracing each other. You leaned onto Michael who was sitting behind you holding you with his arms wrapped around you.

When you got a little cold you decided to walk hand in hand along the beach, sometimes throwing rocks as far as you could. Michael threw the rocks further away but he let you win a couple of times. Finally you found a sheltered picnic –spot and set up your camp. There you ate and drank and sometimes took quick warming-up-walks on the beach.  
You dared Michael to go for a swim a couple of times but he just laughed. The water was not nowhere near warm and you would had surely murdered him if he had carried you into the water. A few times he told you that he would and once even lifted you into his arm and carried you far too near to the spot where the waves drew back into the sea. When he put you down, your shoes as well as your jeans got wet up to your knee because there was a wave just about to hit the shore and it was a bit bigger than Michael had anticipated and he had lowered you into a spot where the sad just swallowed your feet.

You screamed and laughed as you ran back to the dry land. You had set up a picnic blanket nearby and you ran there, took off your shoes as well as your socks and started to warm up your feet. “That was mean!” you chuckled when Michael smirked at you mischievously.  
\- How was the water? he asked as he got on his all fours in front of you.  
\- Pleasantly refreshing. Actual-   
You managed to say but your sentence was cut very short when Michael basically attacked your lips and pushed you down on the blanket. He locked your arms on the both sides of your head and carefully lowered himself on you.  
\- Spread your legs, dear. he said with a sultry tone and when you did, he nested between your legs so every time he moved, he caused a bit friction on your private parts. He continued kissing you and discreetly rubbing himself against you which caused you to get slightly aroused.  
\- I know you like this… he whispered and thrust his hips forcefully against you. You moaned silently and blushed as you realized how you were actually in a public place although the spot was somewhat sheltered.  
\- I bet I can make you come like this. he stated and continued his discreet, yet surprisingly intense movements. What he did felt really good. There was no denying. There had been only kissing and lots of cuddling after Friday-night so it did not take too much of effort to get you turned on.

\- I highly doubt that. you smirked for an argument sake. You did not want to reveal how much you wanted Michael. Tomorrow was Friday and from the evening on you were James’ girl.  
\- Oh… is that a challenge? Although… you should keep quiet and I don’t know if I like that. Michael stated as he stared into your eyes. He knew that you wanted him, the feeling was mutual and he had planned to give you something to think about when you were away from him. Sure you were going to be with James but he figured that a little competition, even now that you were having an arrangement, did not hurt anyone.   
Michael pressed himself against you and moved his hips with a circular motion. He kissed you again and this time devoured your mouth as he conquered your tongue with his. He moved your hands above your head and held them there with his hand. His other hand moved on your cheek and then slowly down on your neck. He started to open the zipper of your jacket and then slid his hand under the fabric. He reached instantly to caress your breast through the fabric of your shirt but it was not enough for him. He opened a couple of buttons of your shirt and then slid his hand under your bra.

With cold fingers he reached to tease your already hardened nipple and he sometimes even squeezed it between his fingers. It made you moan against his mouth although every sound you made was suppressed by his hungry mouth. He kept kissing you, caressing you and rubbing himself against you with such intensity that it really made you lose your breath. Then there was a loud “ahem” which made him stop instantly. An old couple had surprised you and after giving you both a disapproving glare, they continued walking on.  
\- I have a challenge for you. you said.  
\- Oh? Michael asked curiously.  
\- I dare you to take a swim… you said and smirked. You wanted to see if he would actually do something that crazy.  
\- But it’s freez-  
\- I know it’s cold… but I will make you warm afterwards. you answered with a mischievous smile on your face and a hungry spark in your eyes. Michael noticed that and decided to turn on the heat a bit more. If you expected him to swim in a sea that was basically icec old, there were a thing or two that he wanted to gain from it and according to the look on your face, it was highly possible that you would play ball.

\- If I’ll do that… You’ll have to lick the salt off me until the last drop… I will take you behind those rocks and fuck that beautiful mouth of yours… and you will like it, like a good girlfriend should. You will make me come and swallow it all. Then I will reward you. he said and hoped that he had not used too rough language with you. Normally you would had been offended for such but now you just wanted to hear more.  
\- You have my attention… you answered and bit your lip.  
\- I have bought a small toy for you… and you’ll get to test it during our drive home. It is a long drive and I cannot risk your mood to change… therefore I’ll let a nice, steady vibration to keep you all nice and wet for me.  
\- Oh… well… Mr. Fassbender… I do not know if I’ll enjoy that…  
\- You will besides I like the idea of you squirming on the front seat and begging me to drive home faster. And I will not… When we finally reach my apartment, you’ll get to strip naked for me. This you’ll do very slowly. I will watch and enjoy your show. After you have stripped entirely, I will guide you to sit on the table, right in front of me… Oh I will taste you and I drive you insane with my tongue. Do you want to hear more? he asked.

\- Yes… you answered. You were getting to the point where he could do anything he wanted to you. You felt electrified and sure about the fact that if he asked you to give yourself to him behind the rocks, by the freezing sea, you would do it instantly.  
\- Oh, it turns you on, doesn’t it? Michael asked or stated. He shifted himself to bite your neck softly and then soothed the rough contact with his tongue. He still held your hands tightly above your head as he assaulted your neck and continued teasing your nipple under all the layers of clothing.  
\- Maybe… you chuckled. There was no denying of it but you still had to try.  
\- I bet you are dripping wet already… he mumbled against your skin and he was not wrong. You were aroused to the point that it was getting almost painful that he was not using his fingers to satisfy you properly but just kept concentrating on the areas that would not grant you the sweet release.

\- What happens at your apartment? you whimpered. You had to know. Maybe hearing him talking about taking you would finally push you over the edge. Although most likely it would not… but you wanted to hear anyway.  
\- Oh… So eager are we? I like that… I like that a lot! he said and chuckled in a way that was deliciously devious.  
\- My tongue licking your slit all the way from your opening to your clit, continuing slowly, not letting you to come, only making you more aroused. This time however I will not fuck you with my fingers… Do you know why?  
\- Why?  
\- Because I want you to stretch on my hard cock which you will soon taste… Oh I cannot wait to feel those pretty lips of yours on my flesh, then I’ll slide slowly deeper until I will fill your mouth entirely. But later, after I have driven insane with need with my tongue… sucked your clit and teased your opening I will fuck you hard, your back arched against the hard, cold surface. Then I will turn you over and take you from behind… So when James will fuck you gently and sweetly tomorrow, which I know he has been waiting for this entire week, you’ll be sore… but it will only remind you about me and make you even more aroused… and James will like it. he described to you. He had moved his hand lower and was no pressing his fingers quite forcefully against your aching womanhood. He moved his fingers slowly and made sure that it only added to the state of frustration.

\- So in other words, you will do it for James? you teased as you moved your hips. You were hoping that he would stay there a little bit longer that you would be able to reach some sort of release using his fingers to your own pleasure although there were layers of clothing preventing you to do so.  
\- Yes. Michael said and moved his fingers away. He was not going to let you come. You sighed.  
\- Very well… I shall raise my stakes too… you’ll take a swim, completely naked and even dive… but… when you come back to surface, you’ll shout “I’m doing this for James”! you stated and tried to mask the current state of being almost angry at him. Only “almost” because you knew that he was not going to leave you unsatisfied… the only thing that bothered you was that you needed him now and did not want to wait for a couple of hours.  
\- Oh, you’re evil! he smirked.  
\- Take or leave it. you stated with a defiant look on your face.  
\- Oh, you’d better be a good girl tonight. he said, kissed you once more and checked if the beach was empty. There were no other people there and therefore he got up and started to take off his clothes. You laughed and cheered him on as he kept throwing his clothes to you. When he got down to the boxers he stopped and looked at the sea with a doubtful look on his face.

\- I knew it! you exclaimed.  
\- What? he asked and smirked with a visible level of hesitation on his face.  
\- You’re not going to do it! you laughed.  
\- I am, I am… just give me a second! he groaned.  
\- I bet you know already that if you don’t… you’ll get to hear about it for the rest of your life.  
\- Yeah… kind of figured. Michael laughed.  
\- So…?  
\- Fuck it! he said, took one last look around and then pulled his boxers down. You were a person who preferred eyes, smile and wide shoulders as well as strong arms to ass, but you had to admit to yourself that Michael had a very nice behind and there was nothing wrong with the front either. He threw his boxers to you and then ran into the sea. You got up and cheered as he walked further until there was water up to his waist.  
\- Dive! you shouted and heard him cursing. Then suddenly he dived and after a couple of seconds he came back to the surface and shouted “This is for you, James, I am doing all this for you!” You laughed and noticed that there were some people approaching, slowly walking along the beach.

\- Michael… unless you want to keep swimming around… I think you should get back… now! you said and pointed at the couple who still was far away but getting closer. “Fuck!! Michael shouted and ran out from the water.  
\- You’ll get me into such trouble… he mumbled and smirked at you.  
\- Maybe, but… That is why you like me so much. you answered and handed him clothes as he got dressed quickly. You admired his naked form that was covered with Goosebumps entirely as it disappeared under the clothes again.  
\- How was it? you asked with a mischievous laughter.  
\- Bloody cold! Maybe you should try it too!  
\- No-no-no! We’ll just keep with the original agreement. Unless of course you want to change out terms… but it would be a shame because I was kind of looking forward to keeping my end of the deal… Oh well… you said and started to open your jacket as you shook your head and sighed in a very theatrical way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut -warning for the next chapter :D
> 
> Hey Angel_Style, have a nice day at work!


	13. Keeping your end of the deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut!
> 
> Plot-wise the main points if you decide to skip this chapter  
> \- Michael notices that it is not as easy to share you as he had thought.  
> \- You leave Michaels apartment in the morning and after reaching home and taking a shower you send James a message... and you cry a bit in the shower because the arrangement is not easy for you either.

\- No, stop… Changed my mind! he exclaimed and smirked at you.  
\- But I am sure that you knew that already. he continued.  
\- I have to say that yes… but I was almost completely sure that you would not do it.  
\- I almost didn’t but… too much was at stake. What brings me… that we should really pack our things and get behind those rocks. he said and pointed at the big rocks that were about 30 meters away from your picnic –spot. You helped Michael to fold the blanket and gather the other things into a basket.  
You took his hand and followed him behind the rocks. There he put the basket and the blanket on the sand and pressed you against the cold surface. He wanted you to get into the mood that you had had before he had taken the quick dip so he stared into your eyes as opened the zipper of your jacket entirely and slid his hand on the warm skin of your stomach under your shirt. His hand was cold and made you shiver.

He took his time to warm up his hands against your back as he embraced you. You slid your hands under his clothes and rubbed the damp skin of his back and sides. He was shivering still and you could feel that he had Goosebumps. For a moment you felt a bit sorry for him. The water had been colder than you had assumed.  
\- You feel so good… so warm… he whispered just before he kissed you. The kiss started with such sweetness and then grew slowly hungrier. Your lips explored his and you memorized every curve of them. You licked his lower lip a couple of times as a signal that you were ready to deepen the kiss. He removed his hands from the warmth of your shirt and tangled his fingers into your hair, pressed you tightly against the rock that stood behind you almost as a wall.

You raised your leg and wrapped it around his upper thighs. He kept kissing you almost furiously using tongue and teeth to intensify the touch. You pulled him closer and with other hand you reached to caress him through his jeans. He had been rubbing himself against you again so he was getting a bit hard already. When you felt him getting a bit harder, you slowly opened the belt of his jeans and managed to open the buttons with one hand. When they had been opened, you encouraged your mind to caress him through is boxers. He murmured against your mouth that what you were doing felt incredible and encouraged you to touch him with more intensity. You slid your hand under the boxers and took your time to feel the skin with your fingertips. You liked to tease him, make him groan as you did not touch him as intensely as he had hoped to.

Your light brushes were enough to make him almost entirely hard and the veins on his flesh got more defined. “Oh you little tease” he groaned and pulled your hair so you lifted chin up. “Now you’ll do as I’ll say” he instructed and looked deep into your eyes. “Stop teasing and wrap your hand around my cock” he said and moved his other hand on your jaw. You did as he asked and wrapped your hand around his hardened flesh. He rubbed your lips with his thumb and told you to move your hand slowly.

You started to move your hand with a slow steady pace and stared into his eyes that were occasionally now shut. That gave you assurance that what you were doing was working. You listened at his breathing and the moans that escaped his lips so you could stop before he was going to come. You slowed down and made him groan when he realized that you wanted to tease him without allowing him actually come.  
\- You will pay for that. he said and told you to get on your knees since it was time for you to taste him. He wanted your mouth now above everything else. He was mesmerized about the way your lips moved against his when he kissed you and how you had started to dare meet his tongue and sometimes even battled for dominance, which made him wanting to conquer it even more.  
You got on your knees and took one look at him before pulling his jeans as well as boxers down a little. The situation felt obscene but strangely satisfying. You gasped for air as you shifted your eyes back to his member that was now entirely hard. “I bet you haven’t sucked a cock like mine before” you heard Michael groaning as you took him into your hand and raised it upwards so you could take a long, slow lick on the underside of the flesh. You followed a vein all the way to the tip and found a spot which made Michael gasp for air as you massaged it with the hardened tip of your tongue.

After teasing him and licking his length with slow, uninterrupted licks you kissed the tip and wrapped your fingers firmly around his shaft. “Oh girl, you’re exquisite!” he gasped when you finally took him into your mouth. Your mouth had never been filled like that before and Michael let you to get familiar with his size on your own. He after all did not know what your limits were and although he talked big game about “fucking your mouth” he still wanted you to enjoy and feel comfortable.  
Michael restrained himself although he would had wanted to start to thrusting into your mouth but he decided that he would do that just before he was coming so in case it was not entirely pleasant for you, he would be done with it quickly.

You kept moving your hand and played with your tongue. You encouraged your mind and decided to try how deep you could take him. You shifted your hand from his length on his upper thigh so you could stop him if he started to press himself into you. Before that you pulled back and breathed in a couple of times slowly. Then you took him into your mouth and let his slide as deep as you could take him. You sucked him up to the point that he told you that you should stop. You had promised to do as he told you to so you pulled back and waited for further instructions.

\- I am going to fuck your mouth now. he said. You looked a bit hesitant, giving the size of his member. “Hey, I will not hurt you” he said with a soft voice. You smiled a little and nodded. He leaned to the rock with his other hand and the other he tangled into your hair so you could not move. He asked if it was alright for him to come into your mouth because after such long, devoted teasing he would surely come fast. He was right; you had taken your time, slowed down many times and kept him at the edge of an orgasm.  
\- That was the deal, right?  
\- Oh, good girl. he said and placed himself on your lips.  
\- Now… relax and let me take control. he said and started to push himself into the hot, wet depths of your mouth. He did it slowly, enjoying every moment, stopped occasionally as he gave you time to adjust. Then he slid deeper until he hit the back of your throat. He shifted himself a little and guided your head into a slightly different angle which made it possible for him to get a little deeper. You felt like you were not able to breathe and started to panic a little.

\- Breathe through your nose, dear. he instructed and pulled back a little until he felt you relaxing again. “Suck it” he said and you did. When he was almost on the edge of his orgasm he started to move his hips back and forth first slowly and then faster. You fought the gagging reflex and concentrated your thoughts on the delicious moans he was making and on the way his breathing got faster until he thrust himself all the way in, held his breath and released his hot seed. Right after he had recoiled from the orgasm he released you and let you get further away.  
You waited for a moment before you pulled away entirely. You swallowed it all and wrapped your hand on his length. You kept moving your hand, almost like demanding him to give you all he got and caressed the tip with your lips as your tongue sometimes teased that sensitive spot. When his erection was completely gone you took one long lick and then wiped the corners of your mouth before taking any eye contact with Michael.

He raised his pants, buttoned his jeans and fastened the belt again. He was still panting a little and his cheeks were flushed. He gave you his hand and pulled you up, pressed you against the rock and kissed you again. You felt him opening your jeans and taking something out from his pocket. You heard a low vibrating sound and then and then he slipped his hand under your panties which were a bit damp from arousal.  
\- Is this how much you want me? he asked and brushed your lips a few times with that vibrating object. The contact made you shiver and blush.  
\- Now… let’s get this into the right place. he said and pressed the toy which was made of smooth silicone and was covered with small nodules against your folds until it slid easily further. He kept pressing the toy against your clit until you started to moan. Then he pulled his hand away and zipped your jeans. Luckily the vibrator was not that tightly contacted with your aching flesh now that he had removed his fingers but it still was close enough to vibrate against you teasingly.

\- Are you serious? you asked and looked at Michael as he licked his fingers clean from you.  
\- Yes. he answered.  
\- But I can even hear it!  
\- It just means that you need to laugh at my jokes more loudly when we come across people. he smirked and took the picnic basket. You bent down to take the blanket and then moaned involuntarily when the toy shifted and vibrated directly against your clit. You put your hand against the rock and chuckled. Michael extended his hand to you and waited you to take his hand. You took it and looked at him with a embarrassed smile on your face.  
\- This is not funny! you stated and started to walk with him slowly to the car. You encountered people a couple of times and you did as Michael had instructed you; you started to laugh even when there was nothing to laugh about. 

There was the old couple again who commented about the strange buzzing sound.  
\- It’s only my phone. Those bloody telemarketers have been calling me the entire afternoon. you commented and tried to ignore Michael who was almost laughing.  
\- Yes… That is indeed annoying when they do not give up… the old man commented. The buzzing sound continued.  
\- Well this one just doesn’t give up! the man added after an awkward moment of silence.  
\- Yep… they have their sales targets and they will not stop until I agree to order some potency medication for my darling. you said and smirked at Michael. Then you put your arm around his waist and squeezed tightly.  
\- Good heavens! the man said and escorted his wife away. You heard them discussing about how the current young generation was so soft. “Must be that… computers and that Internet” the wife commented and the husband agreed. You started to laugh loudly.  
\- Do you think we will read about it tomorrow? you asked teasingly.  
\- I think not… I highly doubt that they knew who I am. Michael stated as he laughed and shook his head.  
\- And who are you then? you asked and pursed up your lips. The look on his face changed from “oh what I am going to do with you?” to “oh I know what I’m going to do with you”. It was a mischievous smirk and you knew exactly what he was thinking about.  
\- I am the man who gets to lick you clean and satisfy you entirely. he answered as he pushed you against his car, put his hands on your waist and pressed his hips against yours.  
\- I am pretty sure that in that case… they know. you smirked and caressed his arms through his jacket.  
\- You think?  
\- Oh come on, Michael! They might be old but not stupid. They saw us before on the beach and I am pretty sure that can imagine where this is going to lead.  
\- Well… maybe we should then get to it. Long drive ahead, dear. he said, kissed you once and then opened the door to you. You sat down and bit your lip when you felt the vibration getting more intense now that the sitting position was pressing the toy against your flesh, luckily not directly the most sensitive areas. The vibration was pleasantly mild and it felt surprisingly nice. 

Michael sat on the drivers’ seat and put on some music before backing away from the parking spot. The sun was getting lower and coloring the sky in pastel colors. He turned to the highway to north and the journey home began for real. He was again driving a bit faster than the speed limits allowed but luckily there was only a little bit traffic.  
\- How does it feel like? he asked suddenly.  
\- It’s good…  
\- You are not squirming as much as I had hoped. Are you sure that it is in the right place?  
\- Yes… It’s just not effective enough, sorry. you smirked and laughed aloud.  
\- Well… he said, took his phone and after a couple of taps he had opened an application. You did not see the screen, only him swiping the screen and suddenly you felt the vibration getting stronger. You blushed as you watched Michael staring at the road with such a wide smile on his face.  
\- Better? he asked.  
\- Well fuck you!  
\- Oh you will… patience! he teased.

You got comfortable and since the toy was not vibrating directly against your clit, it was good, manageable. After driving an hour and a half you were reaching the outskirts of London. Michael lived on the other side of the city so there was still plenty of sitting in the traffic lights to do.  
\- Are you sure that it is in the right place? he asked, put his hand on your upper thigh and kept it there for a moment.  
\- I can feel the vibration… so it is not about it… It is not where it’s supposed to be.  
\- Where the fuck is it supposed to be then?  
\- Squeeze your thighs together.  
\- What?  
\- Just do as I say…  
You squeezed your thighs together and the toy got pressed against your sensitive flesh. The contact made you shake a little as well as gasp for air which then turned into a soft moan.  
\- Now… I’ll dare you to keep your thighs like that the rest of the journey.  
\- Only if you’ll promise to avoid the worst traffic jams! you panted. Suddenly Michael changed the lane and decided to turn left instead of heading straight which would had taken you downtown. He took a road that avoided the traffic and kept his end of the deal so therefore you had to keep yours. Now that the toy was vibrating right against your clit you felt that soon, surely, you would either get an orgasm or pass out from the frustration. You preferred the first option so you tried to guide the toy to a better position by shifting yourself in the seat as well as tensing and relaxing the muscles of your inner thighs.

Then suddenly the car stopped and Michael turned his head to stare at you. He smirked as he followed your heaving chest mesmerized. You were biting your lip and your breathing had turned into short, sharp, random gasps and there was a healthy blush decorating your cheeks. He took his phone and after a few taps the vibration stopped completely.  
\- Darling… he said with a soft voice. You took a couple of deep breaths and turned your head to look at him.  
\- We’re home. he said and smirked. You got out from the car and followed Michael into his apartment building with rather shaky legs. He played with his app a couple of times and chuckled about “all the things you can find on Ebay” and mentioned that the app was in Chinese so he had no idea what button did what. “Great!” you stated as you shook suddenly like you had gotten a small electric shock and had to seek support from the wall.

Finally you were in Michaels apartment. He helped you to get rid of your jacket and you took off your shoes. He did the same and looked at you with a hungry spark in his eyes. You knew what he was expecting you to do now. You stared at him and smiled a little as you opened the buttons of your shirt. Some of them had been opened already by Michael and you had not bothered to close them since you were wearing your jacket anyway. You excused yourself to the bathroom to get a moment to catch your thoughts. You got yourself refreshed and removed the toy because in your mind you did not need that anymore.

When you came out from the bathroom, you pushed Michael, who was closing the curtains, to sit on the sofa and then you sat on his lap. Your shirt was completely open so you looked deep into his eyes and then arched your back. Like that you offered your breasts for him to caress which he enjoyed very much; you being so giving towards him and willing to have him touch you.

You moved your hips against his lap with slow circular motion and enjoyed him kissing your collarbones as he massaged your waist with his large, strong hands. He pulled the shirt off you and threw it on the floor, opened the hooks of your bra and then pulled it off. You felt the muscles of his chest and stomach as your hands reached lower to find the hem of his shirt. When you did, you pulled the shirt off with a couple of swift flounces and started to caress his muscles directly. You adored the way they tensed up and relaxed according to his movements.

You leaned closer to kiss him and wrapped your arms around him. He did the same and got lost into your embrace. He kissed your neck and reached to kiss your breasts which made you moan. His skilled mouth caressed your breasts around the nipples before he took the other one into his mouth and sucked it gently. He licked, nibbled and sucked your nipples and caressed them with his hand as he still kept brushing your hair with the other one. His warm mouth felt amazing and it was obvious that he knew exactly how to caress your bare chest.

He was being gentler than he had said before but you did not really mind as long as he ended up inside you at some point. You had been teased for a longer time that you could possibly take without going completely insane and therefore you needed him now. Fortunately you could feel him getting aroused, most likely because of your movements but also because he had the freedom to touch you like he wanted and you responded with soft moans that sounded like music in his ears. Usually you were not this comfortable in your skin and there was always some level of self-awareness present that kept you surrendering yourself completely. Michael had however been such a caring lover so although it felt strange to feel comfortable with someone this fast, that now you did and you trusted him to touch you without restrictions. 

Suddenly he remembered his plan and stopped.  
\- I need you on that table. he said with a smirk and pointed at his dining table that was only partially visible from the living room. You bit your lip, stared into his eyes with a question. You got a silent nod as an answer and there was nothing that you could had done. You would had loved to take him right there on the sofa; you could almost imagine yourself riding him as he would control your movements with his hands on your waist. But he wanted you to get off his lap instead. Therefore you stood up and followed him into the dining room. 

\- Take your jeans off. Michael said and watched you intensely as you opened the button and the zipper of your pants. You pulled them down slowly and started to laugh as they got stuck in your ankles. You had imagined looking seductive and completely sexy but you could not help but laugh. He smirked at you and told you to take off your panties as well. You did as he asked and managed to get rid of the both unnecessary clothing.

Michael took a good, long look at your naked form. He walked closer and pushed you against the table. He put his hands on your waist and lifted you to sit on the table effortlessly, just like you had weighted nothing. That made you gasp for air because it was a clear reminder about his strength. Everything about him mesmerized you and his strong, slightly rough hands made you feel like you had been a gift from a lost tribe leader to the king of the conquering tribe and now it was the time when you were going to be shown that your ownership had changed. You belonged now to this strong, blue-eyed man who stared at you with hunger in his eyes.

But you liked it. You liked the fact that you felt helpless and small, it was something that you normally did not feel because you were always on top of things and in control of your life and that was the thing that attracted you about Michael; he was not afraid to put his hand on your waist when he guided you through the crowds and he did not ask you for a permission to kiss you. And when he kissed you, he pulled you close and kept you there and although he never touched you inappropriately and kept his caresses gentle and sweet, there was a certain level of possessiveness in them.

Now you were there, sitting naked on his table with him standing in front of you. “Spread your legs, dear” he instructed and put his hands on your knees. A soft gasp escaped your lips as he parted your legs as wide as he could. Without any warning he pressed his fingers against your clit and studied your reaction. You shifted yourself a little and tried to press yourself against his fingers.  
Michael saw the desperation in your eyes and pressed you to lay on the table so your behind was on the edge and your feet were hanging. It was not the most comfortable position to be in but at this moment you did not care. You spread your arms to reach the edges of the table. When your fingers found them, you grabbed them and anchored yourself for things to come.

You felt Michaels fingers on your breasts, massaging them quite roughly and then you felt him pressing a kiss on your lower stomach. From there he moved to kiss your inner thigh using his teeth as well as tongue. He was careful not to leave any marks, none but one; one for James to find as a reminder that Michael existed. He sucked your inner thigh until there was a purple mark. “What are you doing?” you asked and breathed through the discomfort. He had been rough, slightly blinded by his own urge to own you and have you all for himself.  
\- I’m sorry, dear, I needed to mark you…  
\- What? Are you a caveman? you laughed but your laughter was cut short when you felt his tongue on your outer lips, teasing before pressing any further. He moved his hand on your inner thigh and then spread your lips with his fingers.  
You could feel his hot breath on your clit and the feeling sent shivers throughout your entire body. After admiring your aroused womanhood for a moment he finally started caressing you with his tongue. He pressed it against your opening and made you want him inside you.

\- I need you… you gasped when he continued massaging your opening with his tongue, sometimes even slipping it inside you. He removed his tongue and put his finger on your entrance but did not slid it in. Your frustration was growing in the scale that you could not take and you begged him to stop teasing and either fuck you with his fingers or fuck you for real. At this point you did not care.

Michael chuckled and then continued licking your clit, keeping you on the edge of coming but never letting you actually reach your orgasm. He sucked your clit and massaged it with his lips. He had opened his belt and the buttons of his jeans, pulled the pants down a little but he was not going to strip entirely naked. No, not this time. He moved his other hand to prepare himself for the penetration because he had decided to make you come with his hard flesh and not his tongue.  
Suddenly he stood up straight, pulled you a little bit further over the edge and after guiding himself on your opening he put his hands on your hips and thrust in with one forceful motion. You gasped for air and closed your eyes since the feeling was so intense. It was almost painful, hell, it was painful because you had not been stretched at all but it was what you needed. Michael waited for a moment until you breathing had gotten somewhat normal.

Then he started pounding into you with deep thrusts and each time he pulled almost out before penetrating you completely. You held onto the table as your body jerked every time Michael moved. You had never been taken that hard and you were not completely sure if you liked it as much as you had thought but as long as he kept filling you up and almost tearing you apart, you did not care.

\- Fuck! You’re so tight! Michael panted and supported your ass with his hands. He slowed down when he had gotten over the most of his lust and pulled out. He teased your clit with the tip of his cock as he bent down to kiss you. He locked his lips with yours and wrapped his arms around you. Then he pulled you to sit down and lifted you off the table. The moment of sweet embrace was over swiftly as he turned you around and pressed you to lay against the table with your feet firmly on the floor. He stepped between your legs and forced you to keep them separated by locking them into their place with his. You grabbed the edges of the table again and waited him to make his move.  
He rubbed your slit with his manhood and pressed the tip of his cock against your opening a couple of times.

\- Do you want this? he groaned and slide his hand up and down on your spine with slow soothing motions. His cock rubbed against your clit again and made you moan.  
\- What do you want me to do? he asked because you did not give him an answer.  
\- I need you to fuck me… and I need you to make me come. Please… just…  
Your voice was almost weak and your pleas almost inaudible. Michael teased your clit a couple of times more before filling you up again. From this position he was able to reach the furthest depths of you and enter you completely. Before pounding into you mercilessly he tested your reactions slowly as he pulled almost completely out and then slid in all the way just as slowly. You moaned “oh yes” repeatedly and little by little Michael build his speed up again. He reached to caress your clit with his fingers and this time he did not stop. He kept going until you clenched around his hardness and shook almost violently.

The orgasm you had was intense, it was the sweet release that you had been denied for many hours but it was not as satisfying as you had hoped, maybe because the way Michael was giving it to you was quite cold and distant. He kept caressing your clit making the orgasm last longer, almost as if he had been demanding you to let everything go completely. He continued his deep thrusts until he came, slowed down and bend down to press his cheek against your back.

When his and your breathing had calmed down he pulled out and did not know what to say. He felt that you were not completely satisfied, physically maybe, most likely yes, but mentally you seemed distant. He turned you around and lifted you to sit on the table. This time he stood in front of you, between your legs but he just wrapped his arms around you without saying a word and held you there, your cheek pressed against his chest.

It was getting late and you had an early morning tomorrow. You took a quick shower together and went to bed. He pulled you into his arms to sleep and you snuggled as close to his naked form as you could. His chest rose and fell steadily as he breathed and you listened to his heartbeat with your ear pressed against his chest.  
\- I don’t know if I can let you go. he said suddenly. You did not answer. What could you had answered anyway?  
\- I know the arrangement was my idea and I thought that it would be easy… but the only reason I came up with it was because I was afraid that if I or James asked you to choose, you would want him instead of me.  
\- Shush… you whispered.  
\- I…  
\- We shouldn’t be talking about this. you said and swallowed your tears which made you shake a little against him. Then a silence followed and after wishing him goodnight you let yourself to fall asleep. Michael however could not fall asleep. He had enjoyed the week he had spent with you and he wanted only to memorize everything about you before you would go. Week was not a long time, hell, it had slipped away totally unnoticed, but he knew that you would be sharing great moments with someone else and it made his heart ache.

You had restless dreams and woke up an hour before your alarm was about to start ringing. You had rolled on your other side at some point and were no longer in Michaels arms, who was finally sleeping. Your plan was to go home before getting to work, so you could have a moment of silence and solitude before you turned into a workhorse. You turned on your back and kept staring at the ceiling. The room was dark and cool and the only sound was the peaceful sound of Michael breathing next to you. You decided that it was probably the time for you to leave but when you were about to sat up, you heard Michael mumbling “are you going?”  
\- I… don’t thing I’ll be able to sleep-  
Michael took his phone and checked the time.  
\- It’s barely 5 AM… Surely you don’t have to go yet…  
\- I have to get off this bed… uhm… in 55 minutes.  
\- I am sorry for last night.  
\- What?  
Michael turned on his side to face you and put his hand on your stomach, just under your breasts. He kept it there and caressed you through the fabric with calm, soft touches. He shifted himself closer so he was right next to you. He slid his other arm under your pillow and pressed you closer as he kept caressing drawing random shapes on your stomach and side.

\- I know now how I am supposed to touch you. he whispered and pressed a kiss on your forehead. “Close your eyes” he said and you did as he asked, mostly because he asked you but also partially because you did not want him to see the sadness that was building behind your eyes. He could sense it though although you prevented him from seeing it. He moved his hand on your cheek and brushed the skin softly before moving it on your neck and upper chest. He kept his caresses light and soft even when he reached to touch your breast through the light blanket.

\- This is what you deserve. he said and slid his hand under the blanket. He kept caressing your breast with soft, featherlike brushes and massaging gently which felt so relaxing and good that a faint smile appeared on your lips.  
\- Good… this is good. he whispered and pressed a kiss on the corner of your mouth. He slid his hand lower slowly. He ran his fingers on your side and down on your hip and kept adoring your skin with his fingertips. After using a generous amount of time brushing your stomach, arms and finally thighs under the blanket he moved his fingers on your lower lips. This time he did not tease you but after a couple of soft strokes he pressed his fingers further and started to caress you gently. He stared at your calm features as you let him to take care of you. He kept his touches slow and worship-like and although you tried to enjoy this attention without losing your breath, you failed completely and your chest started to heave faster.

You felt Michaels manhood getting hard against your outer thigh as he listened your soft moans and watched carefully how your body reacted to him. As you came you heard him whispering “you are so beautiful” into your ear and you felt him sliding two fingers inside as he kept rubbing you with his thumb.  
\- Come close. you whispered and guided him to nest between your legs. “This is not why I…” he whispered and looked into your eyes. “I know” you whispered and spread your legs so he was able to enter you. You caressed his leg with the sole of your foot and tangled his fingers with yours. One hand he pressed above your head and one you held tightly next to your head.

He moved slowly and more like rocked himself against you as he leaned closer to kiss you. He kissed you with the same rhythm than his hips moved. You moved your hips as well and moved with him. This fell good, no… yesterday had felt good, but this was amazing and intense. Very intimate.  
\- Will you miss me? he whispered against your lips. You could not answer. It was a forbidden topic. He kept moving the way he did and you felt your orgasm building up again. You locked his lips with yours and tried to prevent him asking those questions. He however asked again, gasped it against your mouth as he had to part his lips from yours to catch his breath every once in a while.

\- Tell me that you’ll miss me. Promise me… he panted as you reached your peak again. When you did he stopped moving entirely. He did not quicken his pace to reach his release but stopped and waited your breathing to calm down again. He used all his willpower to ignore the fact that you were clenching around his hardness and demanding him to reach his orgasm.  
\- This is good… this is how it’s supposed to feel… how it’s supposed to be. he whispered and started to move again. This time his movements were a bit faster and a bit more forceful but still very intimate. He kept close, kissing you; your lips as well as your neck, he kept begging you to remember him like this, not to forget him and asked you to miss him, even a little.

\- Come with me. you whispered and wrapped your arms around him and with a couple of intensely deep thrust he came undone in your embrace. You came soon after as he kept moving himself even after his own release. You caressed his cheek and back with your fingertips as you counted down the last remaining minutes.  
Then your alarm rang and you had to leave. You kissed him once and then left the bed. When he was about to get up with you, you told him to stay in bed and get some sleep. After getting dressed and collecting your things you left the apartment, took a bus home and rushed into shower.

You cried a little as you let the warm, soothing water to wash Michael off from your mind as well as your body. You decided to shake him off because James had been waiting for this day the entire week and he did not deserve your grief. It was not easy to let go, but it was what you had to do. It was the deal that you had agreed to honor and this was not the time to change ones mind. So when you came out from shower you took your phone and sent James a message

“Hi! How is my favorite Scotsman doing? Are you free tonight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this :D
> 
> Now it is James' time to shine :D


	14. All those "what if"s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your thoughts are running wild, but so are also James'.

James woke up to the sound of a car honking somewhere near his house. He had had rather nice dreams and it was somewhat annoying to abandon them. Therefore he kept rolling in his bed and refused to open his eyes. It was almost midday and it took a moment or two for him to remember what day it was. When he did, he opened his eyes wide and grinned at the ceiling. He was excited and terrified at the same time. Excited because he had been thinking about you almost every moment during past week and even before that… every day since he met you, one could say, and terrified because he did not know where he was standing. He did not know if Michael had swept you off your feet and he did not know if you still remembered all the rude things he had said befor-  
\- Yes… she remembers and she probably thinks that I am an awful person! he groaned as he reached out for his phone. He noticed that there was a light blinking, indicating that he had either a missed call or a message waiting to be read. He turned the screen on saw that-  
\- (Y/N)! he exclaimed and sat up immediately. 

“Hi! How is my favorite Scotsman doing? Are you free tonight?”

He read the message and chuckled. “My favorite Scotsman” he grinned, “there is hope” he thought and noticed that the message had been sent some hours ago. He cursed for not waking up sooner and hoped that you did not think that he had not answered because he did not want to-  
\- Or because I am an ass. he stated to himself half aloud and sighed. “But I am not really an ass! It is not who I am!” he added and decided to reply immediately just so if you had any doubts about whether he was interested or not, he could set it straight.

“Good morning, beautiful! I am not free because I am going to invite this gorgeous lady for a private suburban dinner.” 

he typed and then hit the send-button. He waited for a couple of seconds and then sent you another message

“When and where shall I pick you up?”

he tapped “send” and hoped that you would understand that you were the lady he was referring to. His phone beeped after a while and he 

“It’s ok. I’ll see you at six?”  
“Make it half-past. Are you sure that you don’t want me to pick you up?”  
“Yep. Just text me the address and I’ll find my way there.”

James sent you the address and got dressed. He wanted to clean his house just to be sure that you got to see the best sides of him. He was painfully aware of the things he had said and how he had just left from your apartment so therefore he could not wait to start making amends, with your permission of course, or at least explain the reasons behind his actions. He had screwed up and he knew that he would probably need all of his Scottish charm to get on the same level with Michael.

He knew that Michael could be very charming, he knew his friend well, therefore he made up his mind about one thing; if he could get the scales even a bit even by rocking the boat, he would. James knew that there was an arrangement, yes, but it was still a kind of competition, which he wanted to win. The only difference now to the situation before was the fact, that there were rules and it was now clear to the all parties that you were not exclusively seeing just one of them… and yes, that one major detail; you had now the girlfriend status, which meant that you were not just a random, temporal entertainment. Now, you were something more and although you had been granted the status very quickly, it provided some clarity and surely gave you some assurance about the good intentions behind it all. The intentions were after all that you all three would find love and it would not ruin the friendship between James and Michael.

However it was still a competition nevertheless. James’ reasoning was that the situation could not go forever like this. He was almost sure that at some point, it would not work anymore. Maybe the point was in the distant future, maybe the situation escalated faster… maybe you would fall in love with only one of them, or maybe neither of them, but he wanted to better his chances, because when the arrangement failed, he wanted to be the one that you’ll turn to in the end. After all the only reason he had ever agreed to even consider Michaels suggestion had been the fact that he liked you and he had been afraid that if either of them made you choose, you would want his friend.  
James had been having a busy, rather rough week and it had made sense that Michael had taken the first turn. It however also meant that if the week with Michael had been fantastic, it had pushed you even further away from James. He wondered if Michael was still playing, most likely he was. Whether it was intentional or not, that was a completely different thing. 

But maybe Michael was telling you the things that you wanted to hear just because he wanted to “win your heart”. And although a week ago you had started from a clean slate, kind of anyway, and officially there was no competition, it was obvious that James was still somewhat competing with his friend and he knew that Michael felt the same. Would they play fair or would they use all the tricks they could? Would you see what they were doing, would you even care about what they were doing as long as they did not hurt you?  
James was puzzled. He wondered would Michael go that far in his game, if there was any, that he would tell you that he “loves you” or “misses you”. Now that you had spent the week with him, what if Michael believed himself that his feelings for you were deeper than they actually were? What if he was fooling himself and mistook jealousy or competitiveness as affection? What if you had fallen for it? 

What if he was not playing after all? What if Michael was being honest and James would screw things up by assuming that his friend was plotting against him and then somehow, out of insecurity or willingness to “to be the man”, he would reveal his own game? Surely you did not want to be played and did not appreciate the fact that either of the guys were even considering to gamble with your feelings. However… he decided to do it as subtly as possible. If he could make himself look better by planting a seed of doubt in your mind when it came to Michaels feelings and the things he had said, he would do it. To be honest James was 100 percent certain that Michael would do the same.

You sent the message and stared at the screen of your phone. It was time for you to get the bus to work. You kept checking your phone but as the morning hours passed, every once in a while when your boss was not looking, but there was no reply from James. “Maybe he is still sleeping” you thought although there was a small voice in your head reminding you of all the things that James had said. Your mind was wandering, getting tangled with the questions that flowed into your mind as endless streams and making it challenging, almost impossible to think clearly.  
The week with Michael had been extremely nice. He had been kind and sweet, a little rough on the edges occasionally. He had challenged you and pushed you out from your comfort-zone right in the beginning which had made you feel quite certain about that he was not playing. If he was looking for an easy fix, then why would he bother? Why would he go through the trouble of getting you out from you shell… unless of course if it was a part of some bigger strategy, a grand scheme. But what if it was not? What if he had meant the things he had said although they had been said so very early?

The truth was that James was the wild card now. You were following the plan, the arrangement, but Michael in a way was something that you now knew, or thought that you knew at least. You were happy that he had been so honest about his feelings and therefore you felt bad for taking your chances with James when he probably was only interested in you for some reason that did not really withstand the light of day… maybe he was interested in the physical side of things, easy and trustworthy hookup.  
But you had decided to play. You would see it till the bitter end… or to be honest, you would not. You would get out as soon as it would get weird or too complicated, or… OR you found out that the guys were only playing with you; masking their rivalry as “an arrangement” and then tried to manipulate you to-  
Your thoughts were interrupted when your phone beeped. It was roughly midday and you were on your way to get some lunch.

“Good morning, beautiful! I am not free because I am going to invite this gorgeous lady for a private suburban dinner.”

You stared at the message, not really sure if he meant you or if he had already moved to the next person. After all the things he had said and the way he had left from your apartment… the way he had wanted you from behind like he had joked previously… You sighed. Maybe it was madness, the whole thing. Maybe Michael was the honest one, maybe he was going to miss you and you were insane to seek attention from another man. Maybe you ruined your thing with Michael by honoring the deal-

“When and where shall I pick you up?”

The message appeared on the screen just after a moment. “Okay, so he was talking about me” you thought and answered him.

“It’s ok. I’ll see you at six?”

Soon your phone beeped and you saw yet another message on your screen

“Make it half-past. Are you sure that you don’t want me to pick you up?”  
“Yep. Just text me the address and I’ll find my way there.”

you answered and assumed that the “private suburban dinner” meant a dinner at his place. Your assumption was proven correct when your phone beeped again and you were staring at James’ home address. You knew because you recognized the name of the suburb. It had burned into your memory when you had stared at the bus stops on your way home from there, the all that Michael had driven by.  
In a way you were pleased that James had invited you over. You really needed to have a serious talk with him and it was better if the conversation took place in somewhere private instead of a fancy restaurant. That also gave you some assurance that James wanted to talk things through because if he did not, he would had surely made a reservation to a place where you could not make a scene… or if you did, you would look bad… and therefore you would not make a scene.

On the other hand, you were a bit afraid that maybe he invited you to his place because he was either embarrassed to be seen with you or he wanted to increase his changes to “get some” tonight. You however had decided already that you would not have sex with him. Not tonight. There were too many things that were unresolved and you wanted to have that serious talk without any BS or… any kind of seduction going on. If James could not deal with it, then that would tell you more about his personal goals and values than anything he could ever say. In your opinion one could say anything they wanted but what really mattered was what they did.

Your head was spinning. Michael had seemed very sincere when he had told you that would miss you. it had felt real at the time but now that you took a bit distance to the morning, you could not help but wonder if he was being as honest as you would hope. He was after all a very good actor, so good that he could easily fool you… but a part of you did not want to believe that he had fooled you so you decided not to doubt his words. Besides, whatever Michael felt, it did not matter. His week was done and now your thoughts were elsewhere.

Oh, if only it was that easy! Even though you had gone through your “shower-ritual” and even sent a message to James, to which he had replied, finally, and you had even accepted his invitation, then still your mind kept returning back to this morning and you could not forget the look on his face, the sound of his voice when he had asked you to remember him like that; gentle, warm and… well, one could say “loving”, because that was what he had been and it would be truly heartbreaking if that had been only a scheme to steer you further away from James who had steered himself pretty far away from you by himself. “I mean, Michael had not known that I was there listening to their conversation, right?” you thought and found yourself completely unable to eat any lunch. You had bought a salad with cheese and chicken, cherry tomatoes, cucumber and paprika and although it was usually very tasty, now you were just unable eat it although your stomach was screaming for food.

Your coworker asked if you were alright and sighed that luckily it was Friday and she had the weekend off from work. You however were not as lucky since you had a Saturday –shift. It fortunately meant that you were not working on Monday. Every other week you were working from Monday to Saturday and every other week you were working from Tuesday to Friday, but usually the Monday shifts were only a couple of hours anyway.  
\- Yeah, I’m fine. you answered and smiled briefly.  
\- Something wrong with the salad then? she asked with a curious tone. She had seen you eating the same salad many times before so seeing you not-eating it this time made her wonder what was going on.  
\- No… the salad is fine… It’s just my life that is slightly fucked up. you commented and put the salad into the fridge. You decided that you would eat it tomorrow. You still had a few minutes left and decided to sit down by the table where your coworker was eating her lunch.

\- Want to… talk about it? she asked. Oh, you wanted to talk about it but did not know if you should. The coworker was known to love gossip and telling things about peoples private businesses forward but you could not help yourself. You had to tell someone and get another opinion to the entire situation. You decided however that you would be extremely careful not to reveal any names or anything and you would leave all the details out. After a deep, frustrated sigh you began  
\- The thing is that I am seeing these guys and they know about each other… Actually seeing both of them is their idea and I am now kind of going with it.  
\- What is the problem then? your coworker asked. It was obvious that she liked good drama and her hunch said that there was something juicy going on with you. You after all were always so reasonable even when it came to the matters of heart and seeing you so troubled was something that never happened, now however it had happened.  
\- Well… the problem is that the other one seems a bit too “into it” already, talking about missing me and so on. you answered and drummed your nails against the table nervously.

\- I see… but isn’t that a good thing? she asked with a puzzled tone.  
\- Sure… in a way… you answered and realized how ridiculous you sounded now that you turned your worries into words.  
\- And this other guy?  
\- He was a jerk before and I honestly don’t know why. He said some pretty terrible things and I am going to see him tonight. you explained but again, saying it aloud made it sound even more complicated because the truth was that the situation was not that complicated; why are you changing the one that “misses you” into someone who previously was an ass? Unfortunately it was not that simple.  
\- Oh… well, I can totally understand why you’re lacking appetite then. How about this other guy?  
\- The “I’ll miss you”? you asked. It would had been so much easier to talk about “Michael” and “James” but you did not want to risk it.  
\- Yes.  
\- That is the problem… What if he cares about me and I will ruin everything by going out with his friend?  
\- Who acted like an asshole? she asked although it sounded more like a statement.  
\- Yeah…  
\- Why are you then seeing this asshole? she asked. It was a good question, which had been on your mind the entire morning. You however had come up with an explanation that made sense… more or less.  
\- Because I like him… and a part of me hopes that he had a good reason to be an ass… because before he was an ass, we totally… Let’s just say that… there was a spark! you explained and sounded almost desperate or hopeful. Maybe it was a combination of both of them; maybe you were desperately hopeful.  
\- And is there a spark with this “I’ll miss you” –guy?  
\- Yeah… and I would hate to fuck it up because of my curiosity. you answered and dropped your head afterwards.  
\- Well… All I can really say is that you all are adults and as long as no one gets hurt, it is all good. she said and left the table. 

You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment before getting back to work. After a couple of hours you got to go home. You lay down on your bed and stared at the ceiling. It was a mental powernap and you needed it very badly.  
16:30 you started to get ready for the date, or you did not really think it as a date-date. It was more like an approach and a test to see if the spark was still there. If you would be able to talk things through, if James seemed sincere enough, then you would give him another chance. If he however seemed fake or like he was only fooling around with you, then, oh in that case there would be no need for an arrangement.

James got his house in order. He started to cook and got a shower just before it was 6 PM. He got dressed in casual but stylish clothes and dried his hair with a towel so it was a bit messy but in a cute way. He did not know whether he should fill the dining room as well as the living room with candles but then, after lighting up a few, he decided that it was too much. Therefore he blew them off and hid them into the drawer. He would draw out the big guns when he knew what the status of you and Michael was. It was possible that you were going to tell him that the arrangement was off and you were going to run away with Michael.

It was 18:30 when his doorbell rang. He took one final glance at himself in the mirror and then walked to the door. The person at the door was you, surprised by the rain and your clothes half-soaked. James opened the door immediately and welcomed you in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been dedicated to Cata_Lina. I hope I managed to keep it complex yet interesting.
> 
> There is never an easy fix :D
> 
> \- Venla :)


	15. Clearing the air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with James.

\- Well, hello! James exclaimed as he opened the door. You were feeling a bit nervous so you kept playing with your purse. You knew that you looked pretty awful and hoped that James would not point that out. He however only stared at you without saying a word and therefore you had to say something to break the silence.  
\- Hi, I’m sorry I’m late. you said. James checked out the time from his watch and it was now 18:31.  
\- You… are not-  
\- I know… I just… had to say something. you mumbled. Your voice was shaking a little because you were feeling rather cold at the very moment, being somewhat soaked from the rain and all.  
\- Oh… Well, you’re forgiven. James joked, however he did not make you laugh.  
\- I actually was early so I… I stood there… you said and pointed at the street that passed James’ house. James turned his head to see what you were pointing at and then shifted his eyes back to you.  
\- …so stupid. you mumbled. You were avoiding the blue depths of his eyes because it was embarrassing to be standing there, at his front door with your hair and makeup all messed up, shivering from the cold and pretending to be fine.  
\- In the rain? James asked.  
\- Uhm… yeah… kind of…  
\- You are soaked! he exclaimed.  
\- Oh, it’s nothing… There were no bus stops nearby so I… walked. I like walking, however the weather is not in my favor today. you stated and forced yourself to smile. It was a weak smile that faded away very quickly but it was a smile nevertheless.

\- You’re not carrying an umbrella-  
\- No, hence the part that my clothes are… slightly on the less-dry… side. May I come in? you asked.  
\- Yes! Of course! Please! James said and stepped in so there was room for you to enter his entrance hall.  
\- Thank you. you said with a soft tone, still avoiding eye contact.  
You stepped in and closed the door behind you. The house looked and smelled the same than it had before. You took off your coat which was entirely soaked and hung it on a hanger, wishing that it would dry even a little bit. Your shirt and your skirt were also a little bit wet but not that badly. It was the jacket that had taken the most hit from the weather as well as your head.  
\- I will get you some pants and a shir-  
\- Oh, uhm-it’s not-  
\- It is… just wait here for a moment and… take off your shoes. I am quite sure that they’re wet too. James said and motioned you to stay there so he would get you something to wear. You smiled and nodded.  
\- Yeah… sure.

James disappeared for a moment into the room or closet where he had his clothes all in order. He was gone for a few minutes and then came back with a red t-shirt and gray loose college pants.  
\- You can change in bathroom… Do you want to take a hot shower? You must be freezing… I’ll just get you a towel-  
\- No… I’m good. I’ll just… change quickly. you answered as you took the clothes from him as he offered them to you. A silence followed and filled the entire house. There was no sound coming from either television or radio so the only sound was the constant pitter-patter of rain.  
\- Oh, yes… the bathroom is here… Please do not try to climb out from the window this time. James joked finally. You however did not laugh. You did not want to be the person who hung onto the past, unable to laugh at herself but there were too many things connected to the bathroom-window-incident that you were not ready to fire jokes about it… not yet at least.

\- Bad joke, I know, sorry. he commented when he noticed that your face did not look even a bit amused. You thanked him once more and then went into the bathroom. You locked the door after you, just to be sure that James would not come and surprise you. Sure he had seen you naked but you were not ready for that now.  
It was strange to be there again and you sat on the closed toilet seat for a moment before changing your clothes and spreading the wet ones to dry. After you were done with the clothes, you washed your face and put your hair up with a ponytail so it would not just “hang there, soaked”. You unlocked the bathroom door, came out and walked into the kitchen where James was getting the dinner ready. He put a casserole into the oven and told you that the dinner would be served after an hour. You nodded and then there was a silence again.

The silence continued. It went on and on but you did not know how to break it. Finally, after taking a few deep breaths, James began  
\- I guess you probably guessed already that I invited you here because we need to ta-  
\- To talk, yes. you finished his sentence with a rather distant tone.  
\- Yes, good. Please, sit. he said and pointed you to sit by a small kitchen table. He had a separate dining area and also a small table in the kitchen which he normally used. Now it was going to be your negotiating table. You sat down and James sat down on the opposite side from you. He gathered his thoughts for a moment, examined your expressions and then asked  
\- So… How was the week with Michael?   
\- Why are you asking? you asked immediately. You had not expected him to ask such thing. It was a forbidden topic and both of the guys were breaking their own rules which made you annoyed as well as bothered.  
\- Was he… a good boyfriend? Gentle? James asked with a soft, careful tone. He tried not to sound too curious even though that was exactly what he was.

\- We’re not supposed to talk about that. you stated with a neutral look on your face. You however furrowed your brows slightly and it communicated to James that the topic was not to your liking.  
\- I know-  
\- You’re breaking your own rules… you pointed out.  
\- I know, but you see… you are my girl, even when you’re with Michael and you’re also his girl when you’re with me. I respect him and I believe that he respects me and we both respect you… He is a good guy and I love him like my own brother… But I need to know that he hasn’t hurt… you.  
\- No… But… you said and chuckled bitterly. You could not believe what he was saying. He was actually worried that Michael would hurt you when James himself had been the one who had hurt you in the first place. James had no right to be concerned about Michael potentially hurting you, as long as he did not apologize or explain himself.  
\- What is funny? James asked with his head tilted to the side. His entire presence communicated curiosity.  
\- Nothing really, but may I point out that it is ironic that you are the one who is concerned about someone else hurting me. you stated. The longer you talked, the less neutral your voice sounded. It indeed turned from neutral to somewhat annoyed and almost attacking.

\- Ah… That…  
\- Yes… and I thought that it was the thing that we were supposed to talk about. you continued and corrected your tone back to neutral. You had not come there to start a fight because your goal was to get things fixed so maybe… just maybe this arrangement could work and not fail before it had even begun in the first place.  
\- True. James commented. He leaned back in his chair and put his hands on the table.  
\- So? you asked and examined the look on his face. You scanned and scanned, just to find evidence against him or in his favor.  
\- Surely you knew that I did not mean… he began with a tone that did not please you. He sounded almost attacking or at least like he had not thought that the whole thing was a big deal.  
\- Wow… you said and stood up. You walked around the kitchen a bit and rubbed your arm a bit. James mumbled “and now you’re upset” barely aloud and then continued  
\- I didn’t… I just… When I heard from Michael that you had seen him and he had kissed you-  
\- Ha! So you’re saying that it was my fault? That I somehow made you say those things…  
\- No, but I thought that we shared somethi-  
\- Ah, right… but you’re forgetting something. When Michael called me and asked me to watch a movie with him… you had not even called me yet. And yes, I did go to his apartment and yes, he kissed me and to be honest, I kissed him back… but it all happened before you asked me out. So I’m sorry that I am slightly “upset” if you try to blame me-  
\- No! I am sorry… This is not how I imagined handling this at all. Let’s rewind a bit. What I meant to say was that I am sorry and I did not mean any of it. he said and his tone changed from slightly arrogant to sincerely apologetic instantly. 

You leaned onto his kitchen counter and stared at him with a thoughtful look on your face. You crossed your arms before you asked  
\- Why to say such things then-huh?  
\- Because I did not want to show Michael that I liked you. Do you know why I agreed to go with this arrangement in the first place? Because I was afraid that I had screwed up so badly that if I made you choose or if Michael made you choose… you would choose him… And leaving from your apartment like that was heartbreaki-  
\- Why did you do it then? Just left? If it was indeed so devastating? you asked with a sarcastic tone. Your sarcasm hurt James but then again, you had a valid reason to be questioning his motives and reasons.  
\- Because I was facing a busy week so I thought that it would be bett-  
\- That you’ll just get it over with, from behind so you didn’t have to look at me? you scoffed. Yes, you had not forgotten the whole thing about the paper bag which had been one of the most insulting things that anyone had ever said to you.  
\- No! Not at all! James exclaimed. His eyes were almost desperate and you could see the moral hangover still bothering him.

\- So why then? you asked with a cold, interrogating tone.  
\- Because the whole situation was weird-  
\- No shit Sherlock! Do you think that you’re the only one who finds this situation weird? It is weird for me too and you behaving like an ass does not make it any easier. I mean... I am taking a huge risk by coming here-  
\- What is that supposed to mean? James asked and stood up as well.  
\- Michael told me that he will miss me. Yet here I am… trying to figure this out with you but-  
There it was. Michael had said that and James was unable to know if he had been serious or just saying what you had wanted to hear. He was also puzzled should he do what he had decided to and rock the boat a little.  
\- He said that? James asked with a tone that communicated strong disbelief and maybe there was even an undertone of despise in the mix.  
\- Yes… you said. James mumbled “well played, mate, well played” barely audible. The look on your face changed for a moment; you had been happy for Michael being so honest about his feelings for you and you had been almost proud of it when you had had a chance say it to James’ face. But now you did not know what to think. Honestly, you had thought that Michael had only said if for his own benefit. You had suspected it yourself but chosen not to believe that Michael had said it just to play you. It made you feel betrayed and somewhat lost; you had thought that James was the wild card but now it started to seem that maybe it was Michael after all… or maybe James was the one who was playing you.

\- Are you saying that…  
\- I know him pretty well… James said. He was not lying or speaking bad things about Michael behind his back. He just hinted something and it was entirely up to you how you interpreted his words, tone and body language including all the small nuances and changes in his facial expressions. He did it mostly because he was entirely convinced that Michael had done the same, besides Michael had some headway with you and James wanted to catch him. James did not want to be evil or stab his friend into the back but the situation was complicated and he knew that there were probably a couple of knives sticking in his back already.  
Suddenly your phone beeped. Without thinking about it more you took out your phone and saw that you had received one new message. You decided to read it through very quickly, just in case if it was something important. The message however was from Michael. You froze.

“I miss you already” 

\- Is it from Michael? James asked. He scanned your face and noticed that your eyes widened and you held your breath for a moment as you stared at the screen with a confused or slightly annoyed look on your face.  
\- Yes. you answered silently.  
\- Let me guess; I miss you. James said. It had been a lucky guess that had gone right and now again the scales were a little bit more even. You turned your phone on mute immediately and put it away right after. You stared at James with wide eyes. This confirmed it to James; he had been right.  
\- I am sure he means well… I am sure that he means what he say-  
\- Let’s not talk about Michael. you suggested and smiled briefly. It was obvious that you were shocked and James was not surprised that you were. The pieces were locking into their rightful places almost too easily and it made him regret that he had said anything.  
\- Of course not. James answered and smiled. He felt a bit guilty for stabbing his friend in the back like that but then again, it was possible that Michael did not mean it sincerely. It was possible that he was just playing or maybe he was confused; mistaking jealousy and competitiveness as affection and then it was only good if he had told you to be careful.

James kept looking at you. He was trying to decipher the look on your face but it was getting impossible to read you at all. You returned into your fortress that James had managed to lure you out once. Now you were there again; locked behind the secured walls, acting brave and masking your true feelings.  
\- Would you like some wine? James asked suddenly.  
\- Yeah, sure. you answered with a tone that was communicating that you were mentally a light year away. You noticed him however taking only one glass from the cupboard and before he started to open the bottle you said  
\- Aren’t you going to join me?  
\- I have planned to drive you home later tonight… so, no. he answered and smiled a little.  
\- Oh… well I am working tomorrow so maybe… I should not either. you said and sighed relieved that James did not have time to open the bottle yet. You did not want to drink alone because when you got a little tipsy you became either very talkative or you sank deep into your own thoughts.

\- Oh? Early morning? James asked.  
\- No, not really, but we are currently under-staffed so I-I… I really shouldn’t. you said and watched James putting the bottle away. He poured a glass of ice water with lemon slices instead and filled his glass as well. You sipped the water. It felt refreshing both mentally and physically. James emptied his glass instantly and every once in a while kept checking the casserole which soon it was ready.  
The dining table had been set already so all you had to do was to carry your glasses to the dining room and sit down. James brought the casserole as well as the salad, filled your glass as he filled his and then sat down. The food was excellent and it made you feel better; you had been very hungry and when you were hungry or tired you became a human-monster. The worst case was when you were both; hungry and tired. In those cases you were not really a human at all, only a monster and anyone who annoyed you enough was in grave danger.

\- You know… James began.  
\- What?  
\- I really wanted to kiss you…  
\- Huh?  
\- A week ago. I wanted to do it completely differently. I wanted to kiss you and embrace you… hold you afterwards but…  
\- Did Michael tell you to go? you asked. James scanned through your expression. You looked suspicious towards Michael now and suddenly James felt very bad for planting that seed in your mind.  
\- No, of course not. he answered but the look on your face did not change radically.  
-I understand that he is your friend but you don’t have to cover for him. you stated.  
\- No I am not… It was just a weird situation and being very intimate with you… I was worried that Michael would feel like an outsider.  
\- Oh? Well… maybe the next time you should then cuddle Michael so he would not feel so lonely, eh? you said with a serious tone. However after a moment you burst into laughter. You were tired of thinking and wondering about what everyone’s motives were. You just wanted to have a relaxing Friday –evening with James and enjoy the dinner… maybe laugh a bit and then go home, get a good night’s sleep and push through the work day tomorrow.

\- So you’ll forgive me? James asked after you had stopped laughing. You did not answer for a moment because this was an answer that you had to think through entirely. If you told him “no” you would turn things sour but if you said “yes” it would mean that you really should forgive him. Were you completely sure that you were ready for that?

\- Yes. I will forgive you. you answered after a rather long silence that had been accompanied by an intense stare. James knew that you were evaluating him, he knew that it was a big deal for you to move on so therefore he was relieved to hear you to say those words.  
After helping James to collect the dishes into the kitchen sink, you both sat on the sofa to chat casually about things of no significant importance. James joked and made you laugh with tears in your eyes a couple of times but he kept his jokes very “clean”. He was not really flirting at all and he did not touch you, not even once. He did not want to jeopardize the newly found truce and neither wanted he to push you. This you appreciated very much and it made you feel calm and comfortable.

Then suddenly you had to point out that the time had slipped away and it was getting late. So late that you had to go home. “Alright” James had said and then waited for you as you collected your clothes from the bathroom. You took your jacket but it had not dried out at all so you did not put it on. James gave you a hoodie so you did not have to go out in the cold wearing only the t-shirt and the college pants.  
You both got into his car and he drove you home, parked his car and then walked you to the front door of your building.  
\- You know, you have to see me again since you have my clothes on still.  
\- Ah, are you saying that there is no other reason for me to see you again? you said with a slightly flirtatious tone. You had felt the spark when you had been having that lively conversation with him and it had felt good to laugh with him.  
\- Well… I was kind of hoping that you would let me take you out on a real date tomorrow. he said with a tone that sounded almost slightly shy.  
\- What was this then? you chuckled.  
\- Clearing the air… Finding the spark… he said and stepped a little bit closer, keeping a friendly, non-threatening distance anyway.  
\- Well in that case… I think we succeeded. you answered. Your voice was soft and you dared even smile a little.

James got a little bit closer and the close proximity made you blush a bit. Luckily there were no bright lights to point that out.  
\- Yes… I agree and I am very happy that you feel that way. he stated. He brushed casually your hair and smiled when you did not step away. The gesture felt intimate but not pushy at all. It was the perfect mixture of sweet and caring with a hint of that Scottish charm included. You both kept standing there silently, neither of you were sure if you should kiss or not.  
\- So tomorrow evening… I will pick you up. And… dress warmly. James said as he still brushed your hair with slow, soft motions.  
\- Ha-ha! you chuckled. You were a bit nervous. There were butterflies flying in your stomach making you feel a bit nauseous or lightheaded.  
\- And take your toothbrush with you beca-  
\- Oh you have your expectations high, Mr. McAvoy. you chuckled playfully, truly mesmerized from his blue eyes that kept drowning you always deeper and deeper to the point that you did not want to resist anymore. You were enchanted, under a spell.

\- Just let me finish! he exclaimed and laughed loudly.  
\- Fine… you smirked playfully.  
\- Yes, thank you… so… take your toothbrush with you because if we get along very well, which I hope that we’ll do, I will take you home and sweetly, very gently-  
\- Just say it. you sighed and rolled your eyes.  
\- I want to cuddle with you! Gosh! Women these days, always expecting something more!  
\- Women, eh? you chucked as you shook your head.  
\- Yes! I only want to kiss you until you fall asleep and then hold you until you wake up so I can kiss you some more… I feel violated now! he joked and smirked at you. You started to laugh and pressed your head against his shoulder as you kept laughing about the last comment.  
\- Fine, fine! I’m sorry! you exclaimed and laughed loudly. A silence followed when your laughter died. You returned to stand up straight and dived into those blue oceans again.

\- Seriously though… I have been a gentleman the entire evening… I could come upstairs… I have deserved a quick-  
\- Ha! you exclaimed.  
\- A quick, but very intense make-out session! Gosh! Women! James answered. He was again being his playful, flirtations self. You chuckled a little. Then however there was a cold wind blowing from the north. It made you shiver although James’ hoodie was very warm.  
\- Do you want to come inside? you asked after a long silence. The moment felt like you both had been coming up with new topics to talk about so you would not have to say goodbyes, not just yet at least.  
\- To continue this conversation, I mean… It is getting a bit cold here… you said and scratched your neck casually. James stepped closer and closed the remaining distance between you two. He put his arms around you and rubbed your back to make you feel warmer.  
\- I would love to… but it is also getting late and you have an early morning tomorrow and I know that if I’ll come up now, I will keep you awake till the wee hours or then you would fall asleep and I would end up staring at you while you sleep and I think that at this point it would be slightly stalker-ish.   
You chuckled as an answer. James’ embrace felt good, everything in that moment felt good now and you really did not want to let go.

\- So… maybe I’ll just… go now and I will see you tomorrow. he said and let you go very reluctantly.  
\- Yeah… well… goodnight James. you said and sighed as the warmth was replaced with coldness.  
\- Goodnight, (Y/N). he said and flashed an adorable smile. He said “I will call you tomorrow” as he walked backwards further away and mimicked a phone call with his hand. You waved at him in return and then went in. You had put your phone on mute after Michaels message and now that you finally checked it out, you saw that there were a few missed calls from him. There were also a couple of messages that all had quite many typos in them. It made you suspect that he had gone to the pub nearby to drown his sorrows.  
You took a quick shower and got into your pajama, set the alarm and got into bed. In the meantime you had received two new messages; the first one was from James who whished you goodnight and let told you that he had enjoyed your company very much. He also said that he was looking forward to the date tomorrow. The second one however was from Michael. You stared at the message with mixed feelings. It said

“Heu darlinfs, fancy a yhreesome?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to nicetobenice as a thank you for the comment on chapter 13.
> 
> I hope you liked this :)
> 
> \- Venla :)


	16. Crazy fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James takes you out :D

You stared at the phone screen and dropped your head. You decided to call Michael and tell him to stop because the way he kept breaking the rules of an arrangement that he had created, was just unacceptable. You tapped the call –icon on the screen and put the phone on your ear. You started to hesitate as you waited Michael to answer. Maybe it would be better if you had not called him but now you had no other chance than to wait for him to answer because if you didn’t, it would give a wrong message. You had to talk with him so you would get the right one through.

After the phone had been ringing for a long time he finally answered. He was clearly in a pub or somewhere because there was a lot of background noise and he was somewhat shouting to the phone.  
\- So… you missed me after all. Michael exclaimed. You heard someone asking “who are you talking to, mate?” and Michael answering “to my girlfriend who has been on a date with James McAvoy, shush!” You sighed. Michael sounded drunk, his articulation was off and it hurt you to hear him like this. You did not like drunk-calls anyway so this was just stupid.  
\- How was the date with James? he asked with a curious, a bit sarcastic tone.  
\- How-  
\- Come on! Do you think that only girls talk? he exclaimed and then said to someone in the pub that “she thinks that I didn’t know about her date!” and started to laugh with that person that he was currently drinking with.  
\- Apparently not. Anyway… you mumbled.  
\- I could come there… to ease your longing for m-  
\- No, Michael… I called you because I need you to stop… I want you to sto-  
\- You did not want me to stop yesterday, or the day before that-  
\- Michael! you said with a firm tone and he went completely silent.

\- I do miss you, but you cannot do this… So I beg you to stop and if you don’t respect your own rules-  
\- Yeah, then what? he asked. His tone was belittling like he would not believe anything what you would say next if that went against his own beliefs. For example if you said  
\- Then I have no other choice than to take myself out from this equation.  
\- You don’t really want that! Michael scoffed.  
\- Don’t tell me what I want. We can talk about this next Friday if you’re still interested. you stated. Your voice was calm and polite. Almost too polite so it made you sound somewhat distant.  
\- Maybe I won’t be… Ha! Let’s see then who misses who! he exclaimed and said one sharp “ha!"  
You were silent. Maybe it would be better if Michael took himself out from the whole thing, but then again, you liked him. You just wished that he would be a little bit less an ass and understood that he was making everything more complicated. You understood that it was no easy to let you go, knowing that you would go on dates with someone else, but it was his own idea and it was ridiculous that he, from all people, was unable to obey his own rules. 

You kept listening to the pub noise since neither of you said anything for a moment. You however then broke the silence and said  
\- Go home, Michael, get some sleep-  
Your tone was tired and it was obvious, even to drunken Michael, that you were completely fed up with him.  
\- Hey, baby-girl… sweetheart, I did not mean-  
\- I am tired, I literally have no energy for your BS at the moment, so I will hang up now. you said with calm voice and waited for some confirmation that Michael had understood that you were not kidding around.  
\- I’m sorry, baby. I will talk to you later-  
\- Next Friday. you stated with a firm tone.  
\- If you say so. Michael answered and sounded a bit defeated. His tone made you feel sorry for him but then again, he was not the only one who was in this situation. Your situation was not exactly the same than his but your situation was equally messed up, the way of messed-up-ness was just different.  
\- Goodnight, Michael. you said and hung up. After a moment you still got one message from Michael saying that he was sorry for his drunkenness and what he had said. He also wished you goodnight. The message had some typos but those did not really matter at that point.

You put the phone away and tried to get some sleep. You however just kept rolling in your bed and the sleep did not come until after some hours. You woke up when your alarm went off. It was 8 AM and you were unable to recall any dreams that you had had during the night. Maybe it was for the better because you were almost completely sure that your dreams were confusing and fucked up anyway. You stayed in your bed and tried to concentrate on how good everything felt right now; the pillow was just perfect, the blanket felt cool without being cold and you were entirely relaxed. However after 30 minutes you absolutely had to get up. You were a little behind your schedule so you decided to skip the breakfast and just get yourself ready otherwise. 9:20 AM you left the apartment and headed to the bus stop, took the bus to work and really started your day.

At 3 PM you were back home after the not-so-long day at work. You were starving but feeling lazy so after confirming the fact that you already knew; your fridge was empty, you decided to order some Nepalese food instead of going to the shop nearby and preparing something yourself.  
The food arrived an hour after placing the order. You ate too quickly and felt a bit nauseous afterwards, although the fact that you had a real date later, had also something to do with the whole “feeling nauseous” thing. You had just stuffed your mouth full of the last piece of naan-bread when your phone rang. It was almost 5 PM.  
\- Hello James! you mumbled although your words sounded more like random mumble which made James laugh. You mumbled “give me a second” which also sounded something else very random and finally after a long time of chewing you managed to swallow the bread and talk properly.

\- Sorry about that. I had my mouth full of Nepalese-  
\- Oh you nasty girl! James exclaimed.  
\- Food! Gosh James! you laughed.  
\- I know! What else had you in mind! James teased. You mumbled something about you always falling into that same trap and laughed with James. After you both had stopped laughing, he began  
\- So… I was thinking…  
\- And what were thinking about this time? you asked with a curious tone.  
\- I thought that I would come and pick you up at… seven? James asked and he sounded hopeful that you would accept his plan. You stayed silent for a moment. Just enough to make him squirm in his skin as he waited.  
\- Sure, sounds good. you answered finally.  
\- And… dress warmly and bring the toothbrush. he said.  
\- Okay… should I wear high heels or-  
\- No, comfortable shoes. he suggested.  
\- Alright…  
\- So I’ll see you then. James said with very happy, enthusiastic voice. You could hear that he was smiling widely as he talked.  
\- Looking forward to it. you answered.  
And again it took about five times of saying goodbyes when you finally hung up. It was now past 5 PM and you had to take a short nap. Just to be at your prime when James came to pick you up. You cleaned the dinner table and then went to bed. You did not fall asleep but you did enjoy the calmness of the moment nevertheless. You had set the alarm to notify you when it was 6:15 PM so you had plenty of time to get ready for the date.

You had reasoned that since James had told you to wear comfortable shoes and dress warmly, it meant that you were going to be outside, and therefore you did not put too much makeup on. You did not want to risk the makeup getting all smudged if the weather was humid or there was wind.  
You were outside just a couple of minutes before and very soon James parked his car in front of the apartment building. He came out to hug as well as greet you and then escorted you to the car, opened the door for you and helped you to sit down. After closing the door for you he quickly got to the driver’s seat and started driving.

\- So… Where are we going? you asked with a curious tone.  
\- It is a surprise. James said with a tone that revealed that his level of excitement was actually pretty high. It meant that he had something very special planned for you two. He drove to an underground garage and then you took a lift up to the ground level. The garage was completely empty, excluding a couple of cars, and silent. James took your hand and just before the lifts doors opened, he asked you to close your eyes. You chuckled and then did as he asked to.  
He walked you slowly forward until he stopped and got behind your back.  
\- You can open your eyes now. he whispered into your ear. His voice was soft and it sent shivers through your body. You opened your eyes and saw small lights decorating the trees. Then suddenly there was music echoing and you realized that you were in an amusement park.

This time however the park was empty from other guests and the only ones who were there were you two, and a couple of employees. You looked around amazed and then started to laugh.  
\- What do you think? James asked, put his hands around your waist and pulled you close to him. He buried his face into your hair and breathed in the scent of your neck as he smiled against your coat. He was a bit nervous and wanted to hear what you were thinking about.  
\- Wow! It is amazing! Are we allowed to be here?  
\- Of course!  
\- Can we actually… you said and pointed at the rollercoaster that stood fully lit in colorful lights next to you behind the trees that had been the first thing that you had noticed.  
\- Yes! We definitely can! James exclaimed, took your hand and pulled you forward. You followed James to the carriage and felt your heart racing as the employee came to check the security things before sending you on your way.  
\- Are you ready? he asked. You looked at him with an excited look on your face and exclaimed  
\- Yes!

James signed the employee that he could now start the ride. The carriage nudged a bit and then started to accelerate slowly. You squeezed the front security bar with your hands and stared at the view as you kept getting higher. James looked at you and congratulated himself silently. It was not cheap to rent an entire amusement park for himself but it had been worth it. Besides, he was very successful at what he did for living so he had pretty nice savings.  
The ride reached the first high-point and stopped to the edge of a steep plunge. You looked at James and smiled. You started to laugh as you waited for the ride to continue. Then it did. You laughed and screamed as the rollercoaster made your head spin and your adrenaline to rush through your veins. James laughed as well and placed his hand over yours. After the ride was over, he shouted to the employee that you would like to go again immediately.  
You started to laugh and nodded. The carriage started to move again. This time, when the ride was at the high point again, James said  
\- Hey…

You turned your head to watch him and just before the carriage started to move, he put his hand on your neck and leaned closer. You closed your eyes as he did and felt his lips on your. He managed to lock his lips with yours before the plunge. You put your hand on James’ neck and kissed him throughout the whole ride.  
It felt strange and thrilling and left you completely breathless. When the ride slowed down, James pulled back and as soon as it stopped completely, he helped you to stand and escorted you out from the carriage. This was how you continued your evening. You basically ran from an amusement ride to another, sometimes stopping to kiss behind the trees so you would not be gotten caught by the employees or the security cameras. You knew that you were seen but it was part of the thrill.

You ate ice cream, cotton candy and pop corns. James did not unfortunately win you a giant stuffed animal although he tried many times. You however managed to win him funny sunglasses and challenged him to wear them publicly or during the next interview he had. He laughed and took your bet.  
He challenged you to race with him with the small cars. You accepted the challenge but it was obvious that he was not racing, no, he was only trying to smash his car into yours so you ended up trying to avoid him as best as you could. Until you decided to play the same way. You turned your car around and started to chase him after he had realized that you were after his ass now. “It is not allowed to bump-“ the employee who was managing that ride shouted but James told her to shut up, although he did it in a non-offensive, playful way.  
When you were done with the electrical cars, it was getting late. You had been running around for a couple of hours already and that was quite much considering that you did not have to wait to get into the rides because there were no queues. Your stomach and head could not take any more rides or else you would start feel “too old for this shit”. James knew exactly what you meant because he had had enough as well. There was one more thing however that he wanted to do.

He took your hand once more and pulled you to a bouncy castle –alley that was normally forbidden from people over 15 years old. This time there were no restrictions, okay, there were a couple of restrictions due to the weight limits, you after all were an adult so you were not allowed to go to the baby-area.  
You took off your shoes because James took off his. Then he helped you to get on the castle. You helped James there as well and pushed him so he fell down on the soft air-mattress –kind of ground. His falling made the entire castle to wobble and you almost lost your balance. James laughed and then got up. He started to jump almost furiously and it was clear that his goal was to make you fall.

You tried to counter-jump and stop the wobbling but after a moment you lost your balance and fell down. You turned on your back and started to laugh. James kept jumping and then when he was completely out of energy, he jumped and landed on his ass, rolled next to you and waited for the bouncy castle to settle. He then turned on his side, lifted himself up a little and shifted himself that he was partially on top of you while supporting himself with his elbows.  
\- Unfortunately we have to leave soon… The employees need to get home by midnight. James said and smiled as he examined the look on your face. You smiled and put your hand on his cheek, caressed the skin with your fingertips and stared into his blue eyes.

\- Did you have fun? he asked after a moment of silence.  
\- Yeah… you sighed and moved your hand behind his neck so you were able to pull him closer to kiss you. His lips brushed yours gently at first and he teased you a couple of times by getting a little bit further away so you were not able to kiss him. He brushed his nose against yours and chuckled when he sensed you to smile impatiently. You felt his breath on your lips and his warmth radiating on you.  
Then finally he kissed you. His kiss was sweet and gentle and as he considered this as your first date with him, he kept his caresses very modest and graceful. Suddenly there was an “ahem” to disturb you. “Go away” James mumbled against your lips but the person told that it was almost midnight and they really had to close this place.

Your fingers had been tangled in his hair but now you shifted them on his chest and pressed him gently further away so you would be able to say  
\- James… we really need to go now.  
James groaned and rolled on his back, sat up and then helped you up as well. You got off the bouncy castle and put on your shoes, took your purse and apologized for losing the track of time that way. The teenager said “it’s okay” and asked you to take one picture from her and James, if that was okay with James, who said “alright” and made a stupid face in the picture.  
\- Wait! Let me take another! you said before James moved.  
\- Seriously? the teenager asked. Her eyes lighted up like a North American Christmas tree when the lights were connected with the power socket.

\- Sure… James half-assed the previous one. you said and smirked at James who then smiled kindly in the second picture. You gave the phone back to the girl and thanked for a lovely evening. She said that it was no problem and blushed as James was still smiling at her.  
Then you walked quickly to the main gate. The amusement park was now completely silent and the lights were being turned off one by one. You took the lift to the garage and said goodbyes to the few employees who were leaving at the same time with you. It had been a wonderful evening indeed and your heart was about to burst when you thought that there was going to be a lot of cuddling soon, as soon as you reached James’ house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to Pure Song. I hope you liked this :)
> 
> \- Venla :)


	17. Chinese takeout and screwing up James' good intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut after all.  
> Plot-wise  
> \- you get Chinese takeaway  
> \- go to James' home to spend the night, have fun and end up seducing the poor man

You stopped at a Chinese takeaway place on your way to James’ house. You were both starving although you had been munching on candies, ice cream and popcorn the entire evening but you thought that it would be smart to eat some “real food” before getting some sleep. You both selected dishes that you liked and after getting them you continued to the suburb.

James parked his car on his driveway and you got out from the car, took the bag that had the food and followed James to the front door. He let you in first and put on some lights, helped you to take off your coat and then took off his as well. You took off your shoes and then carried the bag to the kitchen. The foods needed to be reheated so James took two frying pans and poured the content of the two cardboard boxes in them. You helped him to set the table in the meantime and smiled to yourself when James sang a little to himself as he fried the foods.  
\- This is “In the kitchen with James McAvoy”. Tell me, chef, what are we cooking tonight? you asked and pretended like you had been speaking to a microphone. Then you “offered” it to him and waited him to comment. He chuckled and answered with an imitation of Gordon Ramsay  
\- It’s raw! This fucking chicken is pinker than your fucking lipstick! Where is the sauce?  
You burst into laughter. His impersonation was not perfect but it was pretty damn close.  
\- Fuck off! he said and stirred the pans. You laughed and leaned to the kitchen counter. Soon the food was reheated and James carried the pans into the dining room where you had lighted some candles that you had found in a drawer.

\- Bon appétit. James said with his normal voice and served you a glass of wine. He poured some for himself also and then lifted two large scoops of beef-noodle-vegetable –wok on his plate.  
\- I think I would like to have some of yours, if you don’t mind. you said and smiled in the most adorable way possible. He smirked and then gave you one scoop of his food.  
\- Thank you!  
\- But now that we are sharing… I want to have that fried-rice-with-chicken too!  
\- What! Nooo! you joked and then gave him the spatula so he could help himself. You emptied both of the pans as well as one bottle of wine together and shared a lively conversation about spices and such. Suddenly he said that he expected you to cook for him the next now that he had cooked for you twice.  
\- Hey… I would not call reheating as “cooking”. you stated with a playful tone.  
\- Fair enough, but I still want you to cook for me… James answered and smirked.  
\- Maybe we could cook together. you suggested and put your fork as well as knife away because you were done with the food and your plate was empty.  
\- I would like that. James answered and followed your lead.

You helped him to clean the table and blew off the candles. It was getting late and it was time to go to bed. You took a quick shower in the meantime when James was getting the bed ready and then asked James for a t-shirt or something for you to sleep on.  
\- I am sure you do not need that. he said as he brought you a towel. He winked his eye at you and started to get undressed for the shower. You washed your teeth and then hung the towel to dry and went into the bedroom. James had luckily closed the curtains so the neighbors were not able to see you walking around naked.  
You crawled to the bed and stared at the ceiling as you listened to James singing in the shower. You chuckled a little but normally you would had laughed. Now however you were too tired to laugh aloud. After a moment James came out from the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist.  
\- Getting comfortable? he asked when he stopped to look at you for a moment. The sight of you was almost too adorable to believe. You, in his bed, under his blanket, naked with shower-fresh skin and messy hair.  
\- Yeah. It is a nice bed. you commented and smiled at him as you stretched your arms and back.  
\- Do you mind if I’ll join you? he asked with a slightly shy tone.  
\- What are you waiting for? you asked playfully and tapped the pillow next to you.  
\- I was going to look for my pajam-  
\- Do you really need that? you asked. Your voice was soft and sultry.  
\- I guess not… if my nakedness does not bother you or make you feel uncomfortable or threatened. James answered. He had decided to be an old-fashioned gentleman tonight because tonight he wanted you to build trust with him and get used to being close to him. He of course did not mind if something happened but he had made up his mind that he would not encourage the situation to develop into that direction in any way.

\- Does mine? you asked and flashed your leg by shifting the blanket a little.  
\- No… You are truly beautiful and I am looking forward cuddling you, with or without clothes. James stated and smiled. He was being sincere and you could easily sense it from him.  
\- Likewise. you answered with a genuine smile decorating your beautiful features.  
\- Well then. he said, put the towel on a back of a chair and then joined under the blanket. You rolled on your side to face him. He got a little closer and did the same. You stared into his mesmerizing eyes, smiled and breathed in and out slowly. You got a little bit closer so there was only distance of about 20 centimeters between you two. Then you shifted your legs so your toes touched his. James chuckled a bit and shifted his so his legs were now properly tangled with yours.

You brushed James’ hair with your fingers. They were wet and messy which made him look very cute. He made a soft “mmm” –voice and smiled. He put his fingers on your shoulder and ran them up and down on your arm. He took your hand and rubbed his thumb on your knuckles. He moved to caress your cheek and neck, slid his hand under the blanket and on your side. He got a little bit closer so he reached better to stroke your back with long, relaxing motions.

You caressed his back with same kind of motions and shifted yourself so you could press a kiss on his lips. After that kiss you lay on your back and put your hand on the pillow, above your head so your breasts were only partially covered with the blanket. His hand was on your back and now that you turned, it moved on your breast. He was going to move his hand but you asked him to leave it so he cupped your breast and massaged the top part of it gently with his thumb. What he did was very relaxing and even though he was caressing your breast, which you considered to be rather intimate area, you felt calm and respected. He adored you with his hands and kept his caresses sweet as well as gentle at all times.

James moved his hand a little bit lower so he was now rubbing your nipple with slow motions. He told you that you felt wonderful and looked gorgeous laying there next to him, peacefully breathing and smiling slightly at the ceiling. Your eyes were open and then you closed them for a moment. You moaned softly as you enjoyed his touch which was equally relaxing and arousing. You turned on your side and then pushed James to lay on his back. You placed yourself partially on top of him and pressed your chest against his.  
\- You make this very hard… he chuckled.  
\- Make what hard? I could make you hard.. you whispered and smirked. You had been having an incredible evening and you had assumed that you could be satisfied with kissing and cuddling but now that it was time to end it and get some sleep, you suddenly did not feel like it at all. James had accidentally turned you on with his caresses although he had not meant to do so.  
\- I have very noble intentions just to hold you tonight… he said and tried to ignore your hand that was slowly closer to his thighs.  
\- Uhuh? you chuckled and caressed his lower stomach with round motions.  
\- I did not ask you over to… James said and brushed your hair with his fingers.  
\- I know… you answered as your hand reached his manhood that was still in relaxed state.  
\- Aren’t you tired? James asked and swallowed as he felt your hand gently wrapping around his flesh and you started to move your hand slowly.

\- Nope… not anymore. Are you? you asked with a seductive tone. You kept moving your hand with slow but firm motions.  
\- No… but I really didn’t… It is our first date… he said and tried to keep his breathing normal. You however started to move your hand a little faster which made him pant and chuckle nervously. But he did not tell you to stop.  
\- It is not really our first date, is it? you whispered into his ear and nibbled his earlobe a couple of times.  
\- I suppose not… But I don’t want you to think that I was planning-  
\- I am sure that there are easier ways to get a girl home than to rent an amusement park… you teased. You felt him getting hard under your touch. You kept staring intensively into his eyes and slowed your actions down when he started to moan too much.  
\- Did you enjoy the evening? he asked as he tried to think anything else than how aroused you were making him. The way you were staring into his eyes and having a casual conversation with him was especially turning on. You were seducing him, taking the lead and he could not do anything but to let you.  
\- I did… I enjoyed the rides very much… but now I am interested in another kind of ride. you smirked and pressed your lips on his. You licked his lower lip with your tongue before locking his lips into an intense kiss. He kissed you just as hungrily and it was getting obvious that he wanted you too. You abandoned his lips and moved to kiss his neck and chest.

\- Just tell me to stop if you want me to stop, but I don’t think you’ll want me to… stop. you whispered against his chest when you disappeared under the light blanket. You got lower and planted kisses on his stomach as you caressed his thighs. You had stopped stroking his hardened flesh so you could keep him from reaching his release.  
\- Are you trying… he asked and swallowed midsentence when you kissed the tip of his manhood.  
\- …to seduce me? he continued after he had caught his breath.  
\- I think I already did. you answered and took him into your mouth. You moved your hand and wrapped it around his length as you started to move your mouth up and down on his flesh. You slowed down every time when James was about to come you kept him there where you wanted him; just on the edge of an orgasm.  
You licked his flesh from the base all the way to the tip and massaged the sensitive spots with the tip of your tongue. You took him into your mouth as deep as you could and sucked him. James felt that he was about to come so he grabbed the sheets with hands and squeezed his fists tight, just to anchor himself to the reality. This time you did not stop. You heard him moaning and panting which encouraged you to move faster. When he finally got his release, you swallowed every drop he gave you and continued caressing him until his orgasm was entirely over.  
\- Oh, wow… You are incredible! he panted.

You returned to kiss James and he rolled you against the bed. He caressed your breasts and stomach as he moved his hand lower. When he had reached your lower lips, he stroked them gently before sliding his finger further. When he did, he caressed your slit all the way from the opening to the clit before starting to rub your most sensitive area.  
He kept kissing you and muffling your moans with his mouth until he moved to kiss your neck. He used his tongue and teeth and then slowly moved lower to kiss your collarbones and then your breasts. He massaged your nipples with his lips and sometimes planted hot, wet openmouthed kisses on them.

He moved lower to kiss your stomach and removed the blanket. He guided you to spread your legs open wide as he repositioned himself between them. As he kissed your inner thigh, he noticed a purple mark decorating the skin that was otherwise flawless. You felt James tracking the edges of the bruise with his finger and you knew that he had found the mark that Michael had left for him to find.  
James ignored the mark and concentrated on pleasuring you. He placed his mouth on your slit and took a long, slow lick which was followed by a couple of same kind of licks. Then he focused on your clit as he pressed his fingers against your opening without letting them slide inside you. You moaned “please” and he granted the pleasure of having his fingers filling you.

He began doing the “come hither” motion and found that sensitive spot quite easily. You felt your breath getting shallower as well as faster as James kept the speed and intensity the same. He however stopped when he noticed that you were about to go over the edge. That made you sigh out of frustration but James did not care. He was in charge now and he liked it slow and long. He wanted to make you dripping wet and needy for him.  
What he did felt amazing. He knew how to touch you and when to stop so you did not reach your orgasm. Then after slowing down for who knows how many times he finally allowed you to come. The release was intense and shook your core entirely mostly because you had been brought to the edge so many times that when you actually reached the peak, it felt more intense than without that much stimulation and teasing.  
You arched your back and grabbed the pillow since there was nothing else to grab onto. You held your breath until you couldn’t hold it anymore and then you managed only to get short, random, sharp gasps for air until your body relaxed and breathing calmed down.

James returned to kiss you after he had slowed his movements down and gently lowered you from the heights. He mumbled that you were absolutely heavenly against your lips and lowered himself on you, between your legs. He moved his hips against you with the same rhythm with his kisses and when you felt that he was getting aroused again, you rolled him against the bed and ended up to sit on him. You straightened yourself and arched your back a bit. James reached to caress your breasts with soft, round motions.

\- You know… I was not kidding about the “ride”… you said, leaned forward to caress his chest with your hands and rubbed yourself against him with circular motions until you could feel that he was completely hard and ready for you. Then you guided him on your opening and slowly lowered yourself onto his hard manhood. James gasped for air and closed his eyes. You were tight around his and the way you kept moving yourself felt unbelievably good for him.  
You started to grind yourself against him slowly. That way you got much needed friction to your most sensitive areas as well. James sat up and wrapped his arms around you. He followed your moves almost like he had been hypnotized and slid his hand between you two so he could caress your clit.

You wrapped your arms around him and kept him close as you quickened the tempo. James helped you to move with his other hand that was wrapped tightly around your waist. You kept grinding yourself against him and locked your lips with his as you were reaching your orgasm.  
\- Look at me. James pleaded. The first time had been so impersonal so he wanted to make most of it now. You opened your eyes and bit your lip as you kept rocking yourself closer to your orgasm and also closer to his. You stared into his blue eyes and smiled as you reached your release. James removed his hand from your clit and put it on your waist so he could control your movements better. He felt your flesh clenching around his hardness and it did not take long for him to reach his orgasm as well.

You both gasped for air and wrapped your arms around each other as you waited your breaths to calm down. He reached to kiss you with shaky lips when he had returned from the heights back on earth. You nibbled his lower lip and ran your fingers through his hair as you stayed there, sitting on his lap with his arms around you and his manhood still inside you making you feel filled and complete.  
\- You are so beautiful, James. you said and examined the expressions of his face.  
\- And you feel so good. you continued. James smiled and pressed a soft kiss on your lips. He did not want to let you go but it was getting really late and you both were tired so he rolled you against the mattress and ended up on top of you. You caressed the skin of his back with your fingertips and enjoyed having him so close. Finally he moved next to you, pulled the blanket over you both and welcomed you to snuggle close to him. You rested your head on his chest that rose and fell slowly and wrapped your arm around him. He stroked your hair and ran his fingers up and down on the skin of your arm until he fell asleep.


	18. A small surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James has a small surprise for you :P

James woke up. He chuckled when he noticed that instead of him holding you it was you who was spooning him. Your cheek was pressed against James’ back and he liked the way you felt against his skin; soft and warm and real. You were awake but he did not know that so you took the opportunity to tickle him. When you did that, he started to laugh. He turned around quickly, pinned your hands against the pillow and locked you against the mattress with his body.

\- So… I think I caught you now… but what shall I do with you? Maybe I should tickle you or… he mumbled and stared mischievously into your eyes.  
\- … or maybe I will leave this bed and make some breakfast. James continued with playful tone and as playful spark in his eyes.  
\- You wouldn’t dare… you said and wrapped your legs around his.  
\- Ha! Now you can’t go even if you wanted to! you stated and smirked. James laughed and attacked to kiss your lips. He had not kissed you for many hours now and that was a great injustice, especially when he knew that he was leaving-  
\- Is something wrong? you asked because James seemed a bit wistful; almost like he had been kissing you to save his life.  
\- No, what do you mean? he said and then the undertone of melancholy was gone from his expression was gone. You smiled and ran your fingers through his hair. You liked the way they got all messed up and made him look adorable.

After cuddling some more, you both got dressed and went to prepare some brunch. It was a little bit rainy day so you figured that you would just watch movies the entire afternoon and maybe then take a walk in the evening. The plan sounded very good to you. There would surely be joking and commenting as well as cuddling. Yes, you liked the plan very much.  
Hanging out with James was just perfect. He was warm and considerate, he made you laugh and feel appreciated. You also made him feel the same way. In your presence it was impossible to feel annoyed or angry and he loved the way he was able to be himself when he was with you. He did not need to care about his public image and even when he was out with you, he felt confident and free to be himself and encouraged you to do same despite of paparazzi photographers.

Michael did not send you messages after Friday night. That was the thing that you were relieved for because you had been quite worried that it would cause unnecessary tension between him and James. This arrangement had been partially agreed upon so the deep friendship that those two guys shared would not turn sour because of you. You however had your own doubts about how well the arrangement will work in the long run. Was it really possible that you would fall in love with them equally, for different reasons most likely but still equally and could the guys really abandon jealousy and competitiveness?

You did not want to be “the grand price” because it meant that you were just “something” and not really “someone” and it was so much easier to hurt a “thing” than a real person, even by an accident. Besides you were really bending your view of a relationship now that you had agreed to take part into… whatever this was. Therefore it annoyed you even more when the guys did not play by their own rules. James was playing by the rules although he sometimes tried to ask you what you and Michael had been talking about or doing. 

You did not want to tell him because it so easily led into a situation where James wanted to somehow prove his friend wrong or do everything better than Michael had done. One would have assumed that it would be nice to have two hot guys competing for your attention but in real life, knowing that those two guys were also friends with each other, it was not fun because you really did not want them to start arguing or otherwise ruin their friendship.

When you went to work on Tuesday morning, you noticed a headline that Michael had been seen partying quite heavily during the weekend with some guys. Maybe it was just his way of dealing with stress but in a way you were worried for him. You did not know whether you should or should not call him and ask him if he was alright but then again you had yourself told him to wait until Friday.

However you had to know if he was alright so on Wednesday, after thinking about it through for a day, you decided to call him, just to make sure that he was doing well. You were troubled because the last time you had talked with him it had not gone that well and you felt bad for not asking him to send you a message when he got home. It would have been at least the smallest act of kindness from your part; it would have been decent of you.

That evening you saw James after work and he noticed that you were distracted about something. You could not tell him about your worries when they were about Michael. You did not want him to think that his friend was the only thing that you were thinking about so you just pushed those thoughts away from your mind and told him that it was nothing, you were just tired from work.

James took you to the movies to see a new horror film. You got spooked a couple of times, or more like “only a couple of times” because James was getting spooked like all the time. It amused you and made you laugh. “Don’t be scared, James. I am here to protect you” you whispered teasingly. James groaned playfully and shoved a handful of popcorn into your mouth. You started to laugh although the popcorn as well as James’ hand muffled your sounds pretty effectively. However your fellow movie fans did not appreciate your laughter and many “shush” whispers followed.

After the movie James drove you home. Before getting out from the car you asked  
\- Do you want to come upstairs?  
\- Sorry, I can’t. he answered. You were secretly pleased about that because you had decided that you needed to call Michael and make sure that everything was well with him. You reasoned that you still had one full day, minus work, with James so if you talked for a minute or two with Michael, it did not matter. It was just for the best, for everyone’s sake.  
\- Oh? you commented because on the other hand you had had such a wonderful evening that you did not want to end it like this. A part of you would had liked to think “fuck Michael” and not care or worry about him and continue this great evening with James. Michael was an adult anyway so why did you worry so much? But then again you did worry although you maybe shouldn’t had worried. “Argh, it is all so confusing!” you thought and then shook yourself out from your thoughts. You were with James now and he was the one who deserved your full attention.

\- I have an early morning tomorrow and I need to pack still. James answered and drummed the wheel nervously. You quickly went through your discussions with him for the past week but nothing rang any bells.  
\- Pack? Are… Are you going somewhere? you asked because this was the first time you were hearing about this and for that you were sure about. However James sounded more like he was just reminding you about it and not telling you about it the first time.  
\- Yes, I’m flying to Tokyo. I told you about it. James stated. He turned to look at you with an expression that communicated “surely I told you”.  
\- No… you did not. you answered with a firm tone. You did not appreciate it if someone was trying to tell you that they had said or done something when they had not said or done it and then tried to make you the bad guy for not remembering it… whatever “it” was. But now you were completely sure that you had not had a conversation about James leaving London and flying to Tokyo. No… If you had, you would remember, since it is not a topic that would just slip out from your mind.  
\- I think I did-  
\- I am pretty sure that I would remember…. Anyway, moving on… So you’re leaving? you asked because you needed a confirmation that you had heard and understood right but also because you wanted to get back to the original subject and not argue about whether you had known about it or not. Besides, it was an argument that you would surely win so, moving on!

\- I must fly to Japan tomorrow because I have a promo-tour in Asia and it starts from Tokyo. James answered. His tone was a bit nervous and it was obvious that he knew that he had not told you before. He had just tried to fool you a little bit so it would be easier for him to tell you about it, “to remind” you about it.  
\- Uhm… alright. you commented and then went silent. Sure tomorrow was the last day of your week with him but then again, he had not told you about it before so you felt a bit betrayed.  
\- Why am I hearing about this now? you asked, trying to avoid sounding annoyed but you could not help it so your tone slipped to the irritated –side and sounded more like an attack than a simple question.  
\- Well, I figured that since it is almost the switch-time anyway-  
\- You thought… what? you scoffed. You were not offended or hurt because he was leaving, but because he had not told you about it. You had assumed that you mattered and deserved more than him just leaving like that and not even informing you about it sooner.

\- I did not think it would matter that much. We have been spending plenty of time together and it has been wonderful. I have loved every minute of it, but I did not think that it would be such a big deal. James explained but all his reasoning sounded cheap in your ears. “Not a big deal?” you mumbled and then continued  
\- Yeah, but you could have… no, should have told me earlier! you exclaimed. Was this the state of your relationship with him? Wasn’t he supposed to inform you about things like this before hand? Had you understood something incorrect?  
\- I did not want to make you sad-  
\- Okay… so it is now my fault? you scoffed and shook your head. You hated it when people did that; tried to protect your feelings but what they really wanted to do was to save their own skin.  
\- No… but (Y/N)… We are missing only one day. You’ll get my permission to even call Michael if you want. I know he misses you-  
\- Right. You know what, maybe I will! you exclaimed and crossed your arms.  
\- Well, great! James exclaimed in return.

A silence followed. Hearing that he was leaving and he had not mentioned it before made you a bit sad and puzzled. Sure you had spent with him almost the entire weekend from Friday to Monday evening together and the only time when you had not been with him, had been the times when you had been working. Yet still, despite of everything, you would have wanted to be informed about your week with him being cut short.  
You sighed and got out from the car, slammed the door shut which made James jump a little bit. You breathed in the cold London air as you walked to your front door. Just before you were about to open the door and go in, you heard James getting out from the car and shouting  
\- Wait!

James got out from the car and ran to you as you stood at the front door of your apartment building.  
\- I do not want to go like this. he said and pushed the front door closed. You put the keys back into your pocket and sat on the front stairs that led to the sidewalk. James sat down next to you and took your hand. “Your hands are so cold… you should really use gloves” he mumbled as he rubbed his hands against yours to create a bit of warmth. You both sat in silence for a moment until you had to break the silence by explaining your point of view better  
\- I understand that in your work you have to travel. I just hoped that we… our thing… would be based on honesty towards each other. I mean if you must go, then you’ll go but I just… I am hoping to hear about it before you actually go.

In a way you felt a bit hypocrite for speaking about honesty when you kept the knowledge of Michael contacting you last Friday to yourself… and the small detail that you were going to call him tonight after James left… but as long as James did not know and you were not going to make a habit out of it… it was still cool, right? No, it really was not but it was not as bad as flying to Tokyo without telling you, right?

\- Yes, I get your point and totally understand. I am sorry. James said with a sincerely apologetic voice as he lifted your hands on his lips and pressed soft kisses on your knuckles. There was no way you could be angry at him.  
\- How long will you be traveling? you asked with soft, kind tone.  
\- Not that long… James said. There was hesitation in his voice and it made you anxious.  
\- Uhuh, and how long is that? you asked. You did not appreciate it when people did not give your straight questions straight answers and it annoyed you greatly.

\- Three weeks, give or take a few days. James answered. You were about to stand up and walk in but then you decided not to. It did not help anyone if you behaved like a child so you kept calm and processed the answer silently in your head.  
\- Okay. you answered. There was not much that you could have said. He was leaving no matter what you did or said so only thing you really could do was to keep calm and act civil. The worst thing you could have done was to walk away and give him a silent treatment. No, that would have been too cruel and childish.

The silence however went on and on. Neither of you said anything or even looked at each other. James still held your hands and kept them warm but suddenly you felt cold and lonely. You chuckled silently as you understood what Michael must have been going through; he felt lonely and that same loneliness chilled now your bones.  
\- Well, I will miss you. you said and turned your head to look at James. You saw that his eyes looked a little teary so you smiled a little as a sign of support and understanding and then leaned onto his shoulder. He let go of your hands and put his arm around you, pulled you closer and traced your cheek with his fingertips with his other hand.

\- I will miss you too. he answered and held you tighter. You were shivering from the cold wind and after 15 minutes of just sitting there, you had to stand up and James really had to go home to pack. He leaned closer to kiss you and then wrapped his arms around you. He did not want to let go and leave but he had no choice at this point. The real reason why he had not told you about his trip was that he had wanted to ignore the whole thing until it was not possible anymore. He did not want to think about it because it made him sad and thinking about you spending 3 weeks with Michael surely was not good for his “game” and it terrified him.

James kissed you once more before leaving. You watched him driving away and then went in. You had been aware of the nature of his work but you had not thought that James would leave so soon. You had not thought about many things and yet they happened. This was only one of those things that you had to live with and learn to adjust yourself to. You would surely miss James a lot.

What came to you and calling to Michael, you decided that you would wait until tomorrow. It was quite late and you had an early morning, besides calling Michael on the eve of James’ trip felt wrong. Yep, you would call Michael tomorrow and make sure that he is doing alright but for now, Michael had to take care of himself and his own well-being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys! I had a writers block but now I have recovered :D
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to Emma as a thank you for the comment!
> 
> I hope you like this :)
> 
> \- Venla :)


	19. Stupid men, stupid flu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title kind of sums it up :D

It was morning. You had just rolled around in your bed and gotten only a couple of hours sleep so therefore it was physically painful to get up from bed. You sat on the edge of your bed for 15 minutes until you had to get up so you did not get late from work. You yawned all the time and smudged your eye liner as you tried to make cat-eye –lines to your eyes. Then when you had fixed the smudged and started to apply mascara, you sneezed and the mascara got fucked up leaving you with panda eyes.

At this point you groaned and fixed the mascara while you cursed heavily. When you had finally managed to get your makeup on and dressed, you headed to work. You did not have time to buy the usual quick-breakfast-sandwich that you bought when you had not had time to eat at home but to be honest, you did not feel like eating anything anyway. Your nose was stuffed and you suspected that sitting outside with James had not been a good idea, especially because you had not gotten dressed for sitting outside. The weather had been humid and there had been that chilly wind blowing from north and you had had no scarf, so you had now also a sore throat.  
The day at work was somewhat painful and you were so happy that tomorrow was Friday and you had the entire weekend off. You had no plans and to be honest you had been hoping to catch up with Michael. You really wanted to have a serious talk about boundaries and such with him. Then you remembered the unflattering headlines about his partying and your mind got worried. 

On your lunch break you sent him a message

“Hey, saw the headlines. Did you have fun? Did you get home safely? Is everything alright?”

Michael however did not answer anything. You knew that he was an adult and he did not owe you any explanation but something about his tone on Friday night made you worry and you could not help but feel a bit guilty for his rough weekend. You had not read anything specific but you had seen the pictures of him standing in a fountain with his clothes off, all except his boxers, and his hat. The picture had made you and your colleagues, who did not know that you were dating Michael, laugh at first but then you had felt ashamed for him in an emphatic way.

You knew how the entertainment news just loved things like that; famous people embarrassing themselves in public and the people who wrote the stories or even read the stories, they did not really care about the reasons behind ones actions. They cared about headlines that sold magazines and tabloids, they did not care about the facts or stop to think that the famous people of whom they were writing about, were also human beings with the equal right to privacy… although if one voluntarily went into the fountain and took off his clothes, most of them at least, then it was almost like asking for it. Although this situation was different, now you felt partially guilty for his stupidity. Fortunately no one knew that you were the girlfriend because that would be so awesome to find the “journalists” on your doorstep asking “why is Michael acting this way? Why did he get so drunk that he decided to jump into the fountain in his boxers?”

The rest of the day went painfully slowly. You kept sneezing all the time and your eyes looked like you had been crying so your colleagues kept asking you if everything was alright, if you had any worries or heartaches. You told them politely that it was only a flu and your relationships were fine. The last thing you wanted to do was to start opening up about your double-boyfriend-situation because there was no way you could have made it sound as a reasonable solution. Therefore it was better to stay quiet about the subject.  
After work you called Michael as soon as you had reached home. The phone kept ringing and you kept listening to the constant ringing sound but there was no answer. You tried to call him many times and finally, at 10PM he answered.

\- Yeah? Michael said and his voice sounded very hoarse.  
\- Hi… you answered, relieved that he had finally picked up the phone.  
\- Who is this? he asked. His voice that normally was very soft, sounded very scruffy now, very husky but not in a sexy and charming way, like it sounded when he woke up. You missed waking up with him.  
\- It’s (Y/N). you replied and wondered if he had erased your number already. Sure you did not really part as best friends the previous time but you had not even considered the possibility that he would have deleted your number from his contacts.  
\- Right… Well it is not Friday. What do you want? he asked. True, it was Thursday evening but it was almost Friday and you had a good reason to call, right?  
\- I-I’m sorry… I just wanted to ask if you’re doing alright. you answered. You were hesitating and it could be heard from your voice. You had wanted to do the right thing and care for his well-being but he did not seem to appreciate it at all. Sure you had not appreciate it when he had messaged you to tell you that he missed you, but this was totally different thing, right?  
\- And suddenly you care? he mumbled.  
\- Yeah, but… Uhm… Sorry… I can see that this was a bad idea… I’ll just… okay… Bye! you said and ended the call. 

Well, apparently Michael was alive. That was a good thing. He however sounded sick or like he had just woken up, maybe both. “Damn! Maybe I woke him up!” you exclaimed and sent him a message

“Sorry if I woke you up. You sound a bit sick, are you having a flu?”

Michael did not answer so you put the phone away and started to prepare dinner. You kept an eye on your phone and then it beeped. You tapped the message –icon immediately and read the message

“Finally landed in Tokyo. How was your day? – James”

Yes, the message was from James and you were a little disappointed. Of course it was great to hear that the airplane had not exploded or anything but still you had kind of wished that the sender had been Michael and he would have told you that he was doing alright, maybe a little flu-ish, but still alright.

“That is wonderful! My day was alright. I think I am getting sick, nothing serious though, just stupid flu. I hope you did not catch it too.”

You send the message and waited for a reply. After 70 minutes you received a message from James

“I am as fit as a fiddle. You however, get to bed and remember to drink tea!”

You smiled at the screen, wished him goodnight and after drinking a cup of hot blackcurrant juice with fresh ginger, you went to bed and turned off the lights. The next morning you felt even worse but since you did not have any fever, you could not stay home and rest. Your boss was a bit bitchy about things like that and she always required either fever or throwing up to be qualified for a sick leave. 

On your lunch break you drank some blackcurrant-ginger drink again because that helped with the sore throat. As the day progressed you actually lost your voice because talking was taking its toll and in the end your boss told you to go home a couple of hours earlier. You had worked overtime earlier so now was the perfect time to get the scales balanced.

You left work and went to the store. You bought things that you could eat to make you get better faster; oranges to boost your vitamin-C levels, ingredients for soup and plenty of snacks. Since Michael was now upset with you, whatever was going on with him, you reasoned that you would just be a human-blanket-tortilla the entire weekend, watch a shit-tons of movies and munch on snacks… and yes, drink a lot hot drinks.

You got home and started to prepare a soup, chicken soup to be exact, and put a pre-baked baguette into the oven. When they both were done, you ate alone, sitting on the sofa wrapped into your blanket. You decided that tomorrow you would take some soup to Michael, in case he was actually sick and maybe you would get a chance to finally talk about everything. But then again, if Michael had decided that he did not want to keep in touch with you anymore, there was no point for you to try.

At one point you had thought that it would be easier if Michael just took himself out from the equation and although you had had fun with James who was now on the other side of the planet, you could not deny the fact that you missed Michael. Missing him was like a dark shadow that filled your mind when you least expected it and you had not thought that you would actually miss him this easily.

But you did.

And being worried for him was not making anything easier, just more difficult. Of course you missed James too but you were somewhat angry at him… or not angry. Disappointed. Even though after sleeping two nights and taking some distance to the whole situation had kind of opened you to see his point of view. You knew that if he had told you earlier, it would have spoiled the mood for the rest of the week but still… it was not justified enough for him to keep things like that from you.

You hated it when your mind started to work on different scenarios; like if this had happened, would things be like this or that and now you were thinking that if you had not asked him to come upstairs, which had begun the whole conversation, would he have told you or would you have been reading about it from the tabloids or hearing about it from the entertainment news like everybody else?

You wanted to think that “sure, he would have told me anyway” but then the skeptic part of your brain was trying to prove you wrong. The skeptic part of your mind was not convinced that this arrangement was working or would work in the future. It was trying to find justification for its doubts from everything you heard or saw and the conversation, although it had ended with kisses, was just a perfect example of a classic case of “I told you this would not work”.

You started to watch the movie. You selected a comedy because you had no brain capacity for drama or mysteries and you were not feeling horror or romantic, action movies did not rock your boat either tonight. The movie was alright. It really was not making you laugh but then again, you were a bit too tired to laugh anyway.  
Besides you were unable to concentrate on the movie when you were just checking your phone all the time, hoping that Michael would send you a message. He however did not. You put the bowl of soup away. It was very good but you did not really feel like eating anything… anything smart anyway. You checked your freezer and luckily you had a little bit ice cream left. You reasoned that the cold would numb your sore throat and ice cream was something that you were able to eat anytime anywhere, in any state of mind.

Before rewarding yourself with the ice cream you put the soup into a plastic container and into the fridge and filled the pot with water so it was easier to wash tomorrow. Then you returned to your sofa and wrapped yourself back into the blanket. The vanilla ice cream tasted nice although now that your nose was stuffed, you could not really taste anything that well. “I am wasting the ice cream” you mumbled as you kept stabbing the piece that was spinning on the bottom of your ice cream cup with a spoon. You wanted to turn the piece into soft serve –ice cream because you remembered that you still had one or two chocolate-chip cookies in your cookie jar, stored for a rainy day. “I guess this day is rainy enough” you mumbled as you unwrapped yourself again, took the cup and walked back into the kitchen. You crushed the cookies and mixed them with the ice cream.

Now the ice cream at least tasted of something, which was a huge improvement. You ate it and then decided to watch another movie. However you fell asleep before the halfway and woke up in the middle of the night with an aching back. You had forgotten to close the window and now your apartment was chilly. You could really feel the cold, humid London night air in your bones.

You checked your phone again but there were no messages from either of the guys. You had decided not to send a message to Michael but in the cold, humid darkness of night you had a weak moment and you fell for sending him a message

“Hey I understand if you do not want to talk to me anymore, but seriously dude. I am worried!”

You send the message but suddenly you felt like you were not quite done yet.

“So you deleted my number already? It sure did not take you long. You know, this is so childish. You are being childish!”

You tapped the sent –icon again and started to type a new message.

“If you want to leave me, you should just say it… or text it. Whatever man. I guess you do what you want.”

However after sending the messages and reading them through a couple of times you felt sorry and regretted sending them. The truth was that you were feeling like shit and therefore you were reflecting your own state of frustration mixed with the annoying flu and now you felt bad for bitching about it to Michael… who had been a bitch himself and kind of deserved it. But then again…

“I’m sorry… I’m just worried… and tired… and having a flu. May I bring you some soup tomorrow?”

You sent the message, turned off the lights, closed the window and went to bed. This time you fell asleep instantly although you did not sleep that well due to the disturbing dreams that made your head spin. You woke up a couple of times and then fell back asleep. However the dream just kept continuing and driving you crazy. You slept till noon and woke up when your phone rang. Luckily you did not remember anything about your dreams after you had woken up but your head was still spinning though.

You reached out for the phone and answered it without looking who the caller was. When you tried to say something, there was no sound coming out from your mouth and you were only greeted with terrible throat ache. “Well, fuck me” you thought and tried to make a sound to at least notify the caller that you had answered the phone. A hoarse “yeah?” was the only thing that you managed to say and even saying that made your throat ache horribly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to YukinoHiddles_MACpheranime as a thank you for the comment!
> 
> I hope you liked this :)
> 
> \- Venla :)


	20. That triangle-drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James finds out that there is something going on... and no one is telling him what that "something" is.

\- Gosh! You sound terrible!  
You heard a happy but slightly worried Scotsman on the phone.  
\- Does it hurt? James asked. He had been worried because of your flu. He blamed himself a little bit for it because he had kept you outside when he could have come upstairs and talk things through there as well. If he had done that, you most likely would not be sick now. You coughed a couple of times and managed to get some voice out finally.  
\- My throat is a bit sore. you answered. Your voice was weak and it took all the concentration from James to hear you especially because there was a lot of background noise on his side.  
\- Are you with Michael? he asked. This time he was hoping that you were but somehow he already knew that you were not; most likely you would have not answered if you were with his friend.  
\- No. you answered. Yeah, you definitely were not with Michael. As far as you knew he did not want to talk with you, for whatever reason and after the messages you sent him last night, you would not be surprised if he did not want to talk to you ever again.

\- Why? James asked. He sounded curious and surprised.  
\- For reasons… Uhm… but it is actually a good thing, I mean, listen to me. How much fun can I be when I cannot even talk? you stated. You wanted to distract James from the original subject which was that Michael was upset and it was because you had told him not to contact you during your time with James. Therefore there was no way you would tell James that his friend was not respecting the rules and it meant that you were basically unable to reply James’ question.  
\- He should be there taking care of you. James stated with firm tone.  
\- He sounded quite sick himself so-  
\- You talked with him? he asked.  
\- Yeah, very quickly. you answered.  
\- And? he asked and it was obvious that he was waiting for some kind of explanation.  
\- He sounded sick and-  
\- Well, it is no surprise considering his last weekend. James stated. Yes, he had seen the headlines as well and he had also been wondering why his friend was acting the way he was. Also James was worried.

\- Yeah. you commented.  
\- Set him straight, will you? James asked or ordered playfully.  
\- Hey, your friend is acting like a child! What do you want me to do? Take him to the daycare? you exclaimed although your voice did not let you to raise your voice that much. Maybe it was a good thing because none of this was actually James’ fault so you were not supposed to rage at him anyway.  
\- He is also your boyfriend and I think you know why he is behaving like this but for some reason you’re not telling me-  
\- Fine! I’ll try but that is if he wants to see me again. you commented. At this point you were pretty sure that Michael did not want to see you again, but then again, you had to try. Maybe the right thing to do was to give him some time to figure things out and then try to have an adult-like conversation with him, face to face.  
\- What do you mean? James asked. As far as he knew his friend was somewhat head over heels for you and he was most surprised to hear you saying that you believed that Michael did not want to see you again.  
\- I think he hates me-  
\- What is going on there? James asked. He sounded serious now.  
\- I really don’t know but hey, please don’t trouble your head with it. I will talk with him and if he doesn’t want to talk with me then… it is his loss, right? you answered and sat up on your bed.  
\- Damn right! Well, I wish I could be there taking care of you-  
\- Don’t worry about me. you answered and smiled. Oh how you wished the same thing but since there was nothing that either of you could have done about it, it was just better to try not to think about it.  
\- Sorry, I really need to go. James said. His voice sounded hesitant and apologetic.  
\- Yeah sure… I’ll talk to you soon, okay? you answered immediately and tried to assure him that everything was fine with you.  
\- Yes! Bye! he exclaimed with a smile on his face.  
\- Bye-bye. you said and hung up. You got out from your bed and went into the kitchen to boil some water. Your throat was killing you and you hoped that warm drink would help it.

James decided to call Michael. It bothered him that his dear friend had been partying so much, gotten sick and like that had not been enough, Michael was upset for some reason which made James suspect that there was something going on and neither of you had told him what it was. He understood that maybe it was private and only for the ears of you and Michael but then again, Michael did not usually jump into fountains and you had said “I think he hates me”.  
\- There is something going on and I am going to find out what it is. James said to himself and called to Michael. He still had five minutes before he had to step from the shadows to the spotlights.

\- Mate, what is going on? James said as soon as Michael had greeted him.  
\- What do you mean? Michael asked. His voice was hoarse in the same way that yours was so therefore James was quite convinced that Michael had gotten sick from the dip.  
\- You had a pretty rough weekend, didn’t you? James stated. He did not want to sound too patronizing but then again, he was worried and since Michael was a close friend of his, he had the right to be concerned.  
\- Yeah, so? Michael answered. He sounded apathetic and slightly annoyed for such interference.  
\- Well, (Y/N) and me are worried for you. She thinks that you hate her! What is going on, mate!? James asked. James was getting irritated for the tone that his friend was giving him although he was not to blame for his friends flu and whatever else was bothering him. A silence followed. Michael went through this conversation as well as the conversation with you in his head and decided that he had to talk to you because the situation was spinning out of anyone’s control. He was somewhat relieved to hear that you still cared about him although he had been a bit unfair towards you.

\- Nothing’s going on. Michael answered finally. He did not want to tell James that he had been sending messages to you during times that he should had not.  
\- Oh, right. James commented. He did not believe a word that Michael was saying to him. It was too obvious that something was going on and either of you, Michael or you, wanted him to know about it.  
\- But you’d better talk about that “nothing” with (Y/N) soon. James continued with an assertive tone.  
\- Yeah… maybe I will. Michael answered. His tone did not sound arrogant anymore, more like defeated, which was not any better in James’ opinion.  
\- Okay, mate. But remember this; I am more than willing to be the full-time boyfriend if you suddenly don’t feel up to sharing the title with me-  
\- I bet you are. Michael mumbled. He sounded again a bit annoyed and that comment had strong undertone of bitterness in it.  
\- Listen mate! Fix it! James said and added that he had to run to perform in a talkshow now. He was actually on the backstage waiting for being called on stage. Michael mumbled “bye” and stared at the picture of his friend on the phone screen as the call ended.

You kept going through the conversation that you had just had with James as you sipped the warm drink. It luckily helped your throat and it stopped hurting almost completely. You took the blanket and made yourself a fortress to the sofa again; you wrapped yourself into a blanket, selected a pile of movies for you to watch and got the snacks ready, everything within your reach. You had prepared some hot blackcurrant-ginger drink to a jug that kept the drink warm for long. You had just finished the first movie when there was a knock on your door. You sighed as you left the warmth of your blanket-fortress and went to see who was at the door.

You opened the door and it was a couple of kids selling cookies as they were collecting money for their class trip. You had just enough of cash so you bought a box. Soon there was another knock. You had just managed to get comfortable on the sofa and for a moment you thought that you would pretend that there was no one home. Then you realized that it was most likely the same kids and they knew that you were home. Therefore you had no other choice than to go and open the door.

\- Hey I’m sorry I don’t have any cash lef-  
You said as you opened the door but instead of seeing two girls at your door you saw  
\- Michael! you exclaimed. He looked tired and sick, just like you did.  
\- May I? he asked with a scruffy voice. You stepped further away from the door and gestured him to come further in. He did, took off his jacket as well as shoes and handed a shopping bag to you.  
\- What is this? you asked. Your voice was weak but surprised.  
\- Well… We are both sick so I guess we have the right to eat snacks. Michael answered.  
\- Yeah well… I just bought a box of cookies, so… yeah. you stated and smiled. Michael followed you to the kitchen. You gave him a coffee cup and filled it with the hot drink as soon as you had put the groceries into the fridge.  
\- You bought ice cream! you exclaimed as you lifted the last packet out from the bag.  
\- I love you man, I ran out of ice cream yesterday and it seems to be the only thing that I feel like eating. I even made some chicken soup yesterday and it is good, but I just don’t feel like eating it. you said and turned to face Michael after you had put the ice cream into the freezer.

\- Okay, feel free to get anything. Mi casa es su casa. you continued and smiled. Michael stepped closer to you and wrapped his arm around you. You did the same and pressed your cheek against his chest. He however felt a lot hotter than you did which made you worried about his fever.  
\- I think I need to get you some medicine to get your fever down. you stated.  
\- No… he whispered because he did not want to let you go, not just yet at least.  
\- Seriously. You are too hot. you said and started to laugh which then made you cough your lungs out. It was an absurd thing to say to a physically attractive guy, but now you were referring to his temperature and not the physical hotness.  
\- Can I just hold you for a moment? he whispered. You felt him shivering and you had to be the spoilsport. After a moment you stepped back from him, told him to get comfortable on the sofa while you would find the medicine for him. “And drink!” you added and pointed at the coffee cup that he had put on the table. You knew exactly where you had the flu medicine and it did not take long for you to get it. You gave the pill to Michael and said  
\- Don’t worry, it’s only paracetamol, I am not trying to roofie you.

Michael chuckled and took the pill. He washed it down and as soon as you had put the next movie in the player, you sat next to him on the sofa. He put his arm around you and pulled you closer. You were hoping that the medicine would kick in quickly because Michael had a high fever and he should have never left his apartment. Of course you were happy that he was with you but then again, he had put his own health in a risk by doing so.  
After an hour Michael stopped shivering and slowly the fever started to come down. You made him measure his temperature a couple of times, just to be sure that it was indeed the case. You both were saving your voices and therefore there was no real conversation. You watched movies and then you warmed the chicken soup up. 

Michael had not been eating well for a couple of days and now that his fever was finally coming down, he was starving. You tried to eat a bit too, but since your throat was sore, swallowing anything solid was torture.  
Michael took a shower because he had been sweating quite a lot as the fever dropped. When he took the shower, you put the bed ready and took the foods into the fridge. You went to bed early because the sleep was the best medicine for flu and neither of you felt like watching movies anymore. Besides having a conversation was not an option for either of you so there really was not much to do than just get some rest and hope that tomorrow you both were feeling better.

You were laying in the bed when Michael walked into the bedroom. He had turned off the lights and did the same just before he came to bed. It was dark but you could hear him breathing and feel the mattress to shift a little bit as he lay down next to you. You did not know if it was alright if you snuggled closer although you had been sitting next to each other, practically embracing one another the entire afternoon as well as evening. Fortunately you did not have to think about it for longer than a moment when you felt Michaels arm wrapping around you and his head resting on your chest that rose and fell peacefully as you breathed. You brushed Michael’s hair with your fingers until you fell asleep.

In the morning you felt a little bit better already. Your throat was not as sore as it had been and as you wished Michael good morning you noticed that you actually could speak. Michael was also feeling better and even he had had his voice back. It meant that you had to have a serious talk with him. You just had to find out if there was a specific reason why he was acting like a jerk because if there was no reason behind it, then you did not know if you wanted to tolerate that behavior any longer. You both got out from bed and went to prepare some breakfast.

\- Michael… you begun and took a deep breath before continuing  
\- We need to talk.


	21. Why has Michael been a jerk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serious talk!

Michael kept staring at you with his ice-blue eyes and tried to read your expression so he could find clues of what you were thinking and feeling right now. You did the same and waited for him to say something, anything. Finally he nodded and smiled just a little.  
\- Okay, good. you mumbled silently to yourself and then smiled as a response.  
\- So what is it? Michael asked. You rolled your eyes and leaned back in your chair as you crossed your arms. “This is not happening!” you thought and scoffed. It was ridiculous that he had to ask!  
\- Are you serious? you asked. You could not believe that you really had to explain it to him. Was it really that hard to see?  
\- What? Michael asked. He followed your lead and leaned back with his arms crossed as well.  
\- Are you really asking me that? you asked. You sounded frustrated and annoyed and because you were sick, you had no energy to cover your mental state. No. So whatever you felt, you would let it show. Michael kept staring at you and he did not comment. His silence irritated you even more.

\- Excuse me but you have been acting like a jerk! you said bluntly. There was no point of being indirect about it. He had been acting like a little, whiny prick and somewhat in a jerk-like way since the moment you had met him.  
\- Jerk? he asked. He sounded like he was not really sure if he had heard you correct or if he was believing his ears. Sure Michael knew that he had not been the most gentleman-like person in the world but he was surprised to find you so pissed off about it when you had yourself been the cause and reason for his behavior. Whatever he had said or done, had been justified, in his own opinion at least.  
\- Yes! You have made an ass of yourself publicly and all this time that I have known you, you have been acting like a freaking weather vane! Either you are behaving like a gentleman or acting like a complete jerk. But the problem is that your behavior changes with the wind so suddenly that I really cannot keep up and it is tiring, frustrating, annoying… Should I go on?

\- No... Michael mumbled.  
\- So you’d better to tell me what the fuck is going on with you or I seriously cannot do this. you stated with a serious tone which matched the loon on your face perfectly.  
\- Right… he commented.  
\- You think that this arrangement is tough only for you… That you are the only one who finds it difficult to adjust to this new situation. But let me assure you so there is no ambiguity about this, this situation is just as difficult for James-  
\- James is only playing-  
\- And you are not? I do not know what you’re doing and what you’re thinking that you can achieve by behaving this way… but it is not working. you stated and sighed. You leaned closer to the table and put your hands on your lap. You were drumming your knee silently and it was a clear sign that you were bothered as well as nervous but luckily, Michael did not see through the table-surface.

\- No…? he stated but his voice sounded more like he had been asking.  
\- Right. Sure. you answered sarcastically.  
\- I told you that I will miss yo-  
\- You do not really mean that, do you? you scoffed.  
\- What! Michael exclaimed. He did not understand what he had done to make you question his words. Sure he had not answered to your calls or messages but he had been sleeping and you had yourself told him that you did not want to hear from him before Friday.  
\- Yeah, you only said so because you knew that it would make you look good. you stated and stared deep into his eyes. You wanted to be brave like that; to keep your gaze at him and not hide by looking away.  
\- Excuse me? he asked. He sounded surprised and maybe a little bit offended too.  
\- I am not stupid, Michael! I know that you two are still competing although you should not be competing and you are using mind tricks to your benefit-

\- Did James say that? Michael asked. He reasoned that it was the only thing that it could have been; you had told James that Michael had said “I’ll miss you” and then James had turned it into something quite opposite. You were silent. You had not stopped to think for a moment that maybe James was actually playing you. You remembered that you had told James that Michael had said that he misses you. Then James had actually turned it around and convinced you that Michael was only trying to make himself look better in your eyes. Could James actually be that sneaky? You decided to ask Michael directly  
\- Well… Have you then been missing me or was it just-  
\- Just what? Michael scoffed. He was tired and still feeling sick, better than yesterday but not that well either yet and as he listened to you accusing him for lying to you, he felt like he would had rather just stood up and walked out from your apartment. He was too tired for this shit right now, however he knew that if he left now, it would most likely be over between you two.

\- Just a game! you exclaimed as you felt your blood boiling. Sure raging when you were tired and ill was not the most efficient raging but it had to do now. There was no postponing of this conversation. No matter how rough or difficult it got. You stood up and walked around nervously. You cursed in your native language again and tried to avoid looking at Michael who was still sitting at the dining table.  
\- You both are playing me! You are competing and it is not fun! you stated finally as you had managed to form your thoughts into words.  
\- But…  
\- Can’t you see? I cannot trust anything you or James say because now I do not know if either of you are being honest or just trying to get rid of competition! you continued before Michael had a change to interrupt you.  
\- What did he say about me? Michael asked. You did not answer. The situation was getting ugly because you did not want to be the one who told the guys what they had said about each other. You went through the situation in your mind once again; James had stated that Michael was only playing you and Michael had been contacting you during your dates with James. Neither of the guys was any better and you had to keep both of their secrets!

\- Did you really miss me or was it just something that you said for your own benefit? you asked after a moment. Your voice was now softer. Mostly because your throat was getting sore from all the shouting and talking in general but also because you did not want to fight. You wanted to have a conversation, not a shouting contest.  
\- For what? Michael asked.  
\- To mess with my head. you asked. Michael noticed that you looked sad and almost heartbroken. If someone got hurt in this situation when it went sour, it was you. If James and Michael were not careful, they both would end up breaking your heart and you would be heartbroken times two.  
\- No! Gosh, what? No! Michael exclaimed. You went through your options again; so either Michael was now lying straight to your face or James had been indeed playing you. You did not like either of the options too much.  
\- Are you sure? Because if I’ll find out that you are just bullshitting me-

Michael stood up and walked to you. He wrapped his arms around you. You tried to push him away at first but he was too strong. He held you close as long as you calmed down. He felt that your skin was getting hot and getting so worked up was not good for your health, although he appreciated the fact that you were taking the situation seriously. The other option would had been that you had not given a fuck and Michael did not want you to “not-give-a-fuck”.  
\- So… Did last weekend have something to do with me? you asked after you both had sat down by the table again. You felt calmer and relieved that Michael had embraced you. It had brought you some sort of certainty that Michael cared and he just had some stupid reason why he acted like a jerk sometimes.  
\- Would you be surprised if I said “yes”? he asked.  
\- No, but I would still need to hear the reasons behind it. you answered.  
\- Well… What can I say? I knew I would miss you and then you did not answer my messag-  
\- But it is unfair that you sent them. you said and put your hand on his. You squeezed it gently as a sign of compassion. Even if you asked him hard questions, it did not mean that you were trying to corner him or attack him.

\- Because of James? Michael asked. He sounded a bit bitter every time he mentioned the name of his friend. You felt bad for the bitterness and that was one of the main reasons why you need to talk this through.  
\- Yeah! And I don’t understand you because sometimes you act like you cared and then after a moment you act like you didn’t and it is so freaking confusing and whatever conclusions I make, they seem to be wrong… and now knowing that you both are competing against each other, it just makes it more difficult to make any sense out of the entire situation. Can you see my logic here?  
\- Yes, I suppose so. Michael commented. He understood your point of view; if they kept playing you, how could you trust anything they said anymore? Now that you knew how the things really were, you would just try to find cracks in their words even when they were not playing.

\- Well thank you! So… Would you please now tell me what is going on? you asked with a soft tone. Michael sat quietly on the opposite side of the table and kept thinking if he could trust you with one of the most painful memories of his life. You watched him thinking, going through things in his mind. He looked defeated but it was partially because of the flu but there was something more. You however did not want to pressure him so you just sighed and dropped your head. You said “fine, don’t tell me” and let go of his hand. 

As you were about to stand up and leave the negotiating table, Michael started  
\- My ex girlfriend…  
You sat back down and focused all your attention to the broken man sitting on the other side of the table.  
\- She left me for my best friend. Michael continued. His eyes were filled with sadness and he was clearly swallowing his tears.  
\- I-I’m so sorry. you said and placed your hand over his again. He however pulled his hand away before you managed to stop him from retreating and shutting you out like that.  
\- They met at one gala where we all three attended and then they got together afterwards behind my back. Michael explained and regretted that he had pulled his hand away. He saw that his gesture had hurt you although he had not done it to make you feel bad. The memory was just too painful and he needed his solitude while he told you about it.  
\- James? you asked. “Surely not James. Just tell me it was not James” you thought. If it had been James you would not be able to face him anymore. Cheating someone was something that you would never do or tolerate so if it had been James-  
\- No… Then after 6 months I got to read about it on the tabloids as my girlfriend had been seen with my best friend, walking publicly hand in hand, shopping for a ring. I suppose you have read about it too. It was the biggest news roughly a year ago-  
\- No… I do not follow yellow press or entertainment news. you commented as you played the words you had just heard in your mind.

\- Oh? Michael asked.  
\- Yeah… Wow… you mumbled and suddenly you would have wanted to disappear under the table. The whole bitching about Michaels behavior felt so irrelevant now although, he had behaved like a jerk, there was no way around it.  
\- So I guess that I wanted on the other hand make sure that you knew that I cared and on the other hand I did not want to show that I cared… and I guess my behavior has been somewhat jerk-like from our first meeting on. Michael explained.  
\- I still don’t understand, Michael! How does it help anyone if you treat me or James like shit? you asked. Your tone was almost desperate. It was that way because you were desperately trying to understand the big picture. Sure it was terrible what had happened before, but James or you were not to blame for any of it and it was wrong that you had to pay for the wrongs that some other assholes had done.  
\- I guess it doesn’t but on the other hand it gave me a feeling that I am on the top of the situation. Playing and not being played. Michael answered. He could see that you were struggling with all this information. You clearly felt bad for him but still, it was wrong to be treated the way Michael had treated you and he knew it.  
\- But like that you just end up hurting James… and me. Does James know about this? you asked.  
\- No. He might have read about it but I do not think he remembers-  
\- Most likely he doesn’t or if he does, I would be surprised if he could make the connection. you reasoned.  
\- Maybe. Michael mumbled and stared at the table.

\- Listen Michael, James is not that person and I am not your ex-girlfriend either. I would never do anything like that behind your back. you assured him, although you knew that the assholes had most likely assured him about the same thing.  
\- A part of me knows that-  
\- And I… in a twisted way… now understand why you have been acting like a jerk but still… James has done nothing to deserve it. you stated with a kind, yet firm tone.  
\- Neither have you. Michael added. He smiled just a little.  
\- Well… I am not comfortable with stating what I deserve or don’t but I have not been playing you and I have not been lying to you. And I still cannot really comprehend what this is all about. Are you worried that I would runaway with James, is that it? you asked.  
\- No… yes…  
\- So you thought that it is easier or better if you’ll hurt me or him before either of us has the chance to hurt you? you asked.

\- Well, no hurt specifically-  
\- You have hurt me. Face it, deal with it. you stated and chuckled.  
\- Fine. Yes. I got involved in this because you challenged me and because I wanted to see if I could beat my friend-  
\- But your asshole-friend is not James-  
\- I know, but I had to prove myself that my place was not in the sidelines. Michael stated.  
\- Unbelievable! you exclaimed. You had been afraid that Michaels intentions had not been genuine and now you had had a partial confirmation about it.  
\- And therefore I started to compete with James… and you had that… mask of yours, whatever it was…  
\- Yeah… so is this a payback? you asked. You had tried to be emphatic and give him your support but all he did was to confirm your doubts to be true. How was this helping actually?  
\- No… Michael said immediately.

\- So what is it? you asked. It was frustrating when you did not get the answers that you were trying to get. Not meaning that you were not hearing what you had wanted to hear, because that would have been selfish and childish, but to get answers that would actually make any sense!  
\- I am trying to explain! Michael exclaimed. His voice was breaking as well and reminded you that you both were ill.  
\- Fine! Stage is yours! you stated and pointed at the floor that he would be most welcome to take, anytime. You were waiting.  
\- I know that I do not know you and we have not been spending that much time together so maybe it was a bit over the top to say that I miss you… and maybe I said that I’ll miss you partially because I wanted to secure you for myself-  
\- That is the problem! You guys are competing against each other when you should be working with each other! you exclaimed and leaned back in your chair.  
\- But the truth is that I did miss you and thinking about with James… having fun… maybe even planning your future together… It just… made me insecure and I behaved foolishly. I never wanted to hurt you… Michael answered. His tone was sincere and soft. You did not answer anything at first. You needed a bit of silence to think things trough.

\- Okay. But now the question is… Do you want to keep seeing me… or rather not? you asked after you had taken your time to think in silence.  
\- I do. Michael answered. He looked deep into your eyes and stood up.  
\- But it means that you need to trust me and you need to trust James. And I need to be able to trust both of you but as long as you two keep playing me and talking shit about each other… I cannot seriously believe a word you or James say. What kind of relationship is that-huh? you asked as you watched him walking slowly to you, reaching out for you and then when you took his hand, pulling you up to stand.  
\- I guess you’re right. he whispered as he pulled you into his tight embrace.  
\- So can you stop competing? you asked with a soft voice as you listened to Michaels calm breathing that got mixed with the sound of his steady heartbeat.  
\- But James-  
\- I will have this same freaking conversation with him, trust me. you said and as far as you were concerned, the topic had been discussed thoroughly. 

Michael understood your point of views but he was not going to stop competing. He would just change his tactics into something more subtle. He decided that he would sweep you off your feet so when James came back from his Asia-tour, he had no chance with you. Michael knew that you most likely disapproved his plan, but what he had not told you was that even though he had started the whole thing as a competition and his goal had been only to beat James, he had actually noticed how amazing person you were and how happy, excited and calm he felt when he was with you, so therefore instead of beating James, he had now determined to win your heart. There was a difference; he would no longer play against James but concentrate on his own “game”.


	22. Who you really are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three weeks slip away but Michael doesn't seem to "get you".

You decided to trust Michael. You figured that you had to do as you preached yourself and although he had not promised you exactly that he would stop competing, you wanted to believe that he would. You were sick and tired of being played and you had decided to have the same serious chat with James as soon as he got home from Asia, maybe even sooner via Skype. It made you sad that they appreciated their mutual friendship so little that they would actually try to cast a slur on each other and the worst part was that you were in the middle of their competition. Actually you had the first row seat to see how the situation, if it remained as it had been so far, could hurt them both and you as well. 

So therefore you made a conscious choice to show Michael that you trusted him and you were worth of his trust. You in a way were frustrated and sad that you had to “manually” show him that you were not his ex who had not been trustworthy but on the other hand, if it was needed, then you were more than happy to show him. Or not more than happy… nah, you were willing to do it although it made you feel like you had been put into the same category with the assholes but you had made up your mind that you would endure it. If you had the power to choose, you would have made Michael see automatically that you were not her and she was not you, but sometimes things that did not go the way you wanted them to.

You spent a couple of days with Michael and you both took care of each other. It meant mostly that you just sat on the sofa, ate snacks and watched movies but it was nice. You had a couple of days free from work because you had a bit fever but by Wednesday you were back to normal. Michael had also recovered and he seemed much more cheered up now. Maybe it was because you had had that serious discussion about your relationship with him or maybe it was the recovery. Most likely it was a combination of them both.

After you both had fully recovered from the flu, the dating started. Michael was always taking you to new, fancy places where you sometimes felt a bit like an outsider. You knew that he wanted to impress you but you were not that impressed. Sure you had always dreamed about visiting high-class restaurants and art galleries but then again, you did not need all that gold and glitter to feel appreciated. Besides when almost all the time when you were out with him, he always knew someone, whether it was the owner of the restaurant or the performing artist of the gallery, you ended up watching from the sidelines as he had a conversation with the people that you did not know and to be honest, with whom you had nothing in common. No, you did not blame Michael and you enjoyed seeing him with other people because he was always dazzling and charming everyone, but still you wished that you had been alone with him.

You sometimes wondered if Michael had a wrong idea of you or did he just ignore the person you truly were. Maybe he wanted you to fit into a certain mold but you felt like you were a square block that was being pushed into a round hole. You knew that Michael did not mean anything bad by it. He most likely wanted to provide you experiences that you would not have otherwise a chance to experience and there was nothing wrong about that. Besides he always behaved in the most gentleman-like way and treated you like you were the only lady he ever saw even in the crowded room, even when the room was filled with glamorous ladies and he was surrounded by them –he only saw you.

However you missed spending time at your home where you did not have to mind the way you sat or if you laughed at stupid jokes. You missed the cheap takeaway dinners or cooking yourself and running in Michelin starred restaurants made you feel that Michael still wanted to raise the bar high for James which meant that he was still competing.

Well, you were kind of right although you were also wrong. He was competing but not against James. He did not care if you spoke with him on Skype, like you sometimes did, or he did not care about what James said about him. No, Michael was more interested on what you thought about him and how he made you feel in and out of bed. Yes, Michael found ways to keep it interesting between the sheets and he always made you come first, of which you were naturally very pleased about.

Michael assumed that you wanted to experience the high-life and during those three weeks he was more than happy to take you out shopping and buy things that you had only been able to dream about to you. He honestly, most sincerely assumed that this was what he had to do to sweep you off your feet but what he failed to realize was that you did not really need any of that. What you needed and wanted was to spend some time alone with him, to have long conversations about the world and all the magnificent things in it. You wanted to have a normal relationship and not jet set life where everything was more or less fake.

James commented about the entertainment news sometimes. He had seen the headlines; Fassbender seen here and there with a gorgeous woman doing this and that. When it was “having dinner” and when it was “attending a gala” or “kissing publicly”. Sure you had had plenty of fun but you missed your privacy and you missed James. During those three weeks you had been out with Michael every evening and home had become a place where you basically stopped by to change your clothes.

Michael missed home secretly as well but he was too focused on sweeping off your feet to admit it. He was not a jet setter. He enjoyed the quiet evenings at home or a quick pint at the local pub but he thought that it was not the life that you wanted or the way to make you fall for him. Oh how wrong he was. You were getting tired of that slightly macho, egoistic behavior and the way he wanted to treat you with the best of everything. You started to hate the fact that in a couple of weeks you had become a socialite who was sometimes even harassed at work by the yellow press. Yep, it had not taken long from the “journalists” to find out who you were and what you did after you had started to date Michael publicly and even though it had been a couple of weeks, it felt like it had been much longer. Just because you were getting tired of it.

It made you question if you wanted to be in a relationship with a famous person in the first place and although you liked Michael very much you did not know if you could fit the role that he wanted to be in. About that you were wrong, although you were not aware of it yourself. It was just Michaels plan to show you that he wanted to be seen with you and he was serious about you. He had been dating that sort of women before who appreciated the rich life, the designer clothes, jewelry and fancy cars. However Michael completely missed the point that you were more than happy to get in places by the public transportation and you liked your ordinary clothes. Sure they were nothing too fancy but they looked and felt like… you.

You liked to combine styles and mix colors together. You did not care if something was “so last season” or if you were wearing wrong kind of accessories with the right kind of clothes but when you started to see yourself in the cover of magazines and your “style” being analyzed and criticized, it was just too much. What did it matter if you used your favorite black shoes with a turquoise shirt and jeans and topped it off with a screaming pink scarf? Sure that shade of pink did not exactly bring out the best of you and maybe it even made you look a bit pale, but so what? You liked the shade and that’s it, end of discussion.

Okay, a scarf was just an extreme example of how people were getting interested in your personal things instead of filling the magazine with news that really mattered… like… sinkholes in Siberia caused by global warming or the pollution clouds in China or the wars that went on and how people on those areas had no future. But no, instead of writing about things that mattered, they wrote about your dates with Michael and your pink scarf which happened to be “so last season”.

It was Saturday and James was coming back on Monday morning. You were talking with him on Skype after your day at work as you were waiting Michael to come and pick you up. You looked tired and annoyed although you tried your best to hide it from James.  
\- What is wrong? he asked you.  
\- Nothing, just a rough week. you answered and dropped your head as you sighed.  
\- Has Michael been good to you? James asked you after he had deciphered your sigh in his mind. He had come to a conclusion that you were both mentally and physically tired and in the need of rest.  
\- Yeah, yeah… you answered and returned to look at the camera.  
\- I am not convinced. What is happening there? he asked. You had had the same serious conversation with him about competing against Michael, so now you decided to trust him and tell him what was going on. You trusted that he was not going to use anything that you said against his friend, because you had made sure that they knew that you hated it when they did that. You had told him that it was making it impossible for you to think rationally and make any sense of when you were being just played and when the guys were actually being sincere, so talking shit about each other stopped now. Period. 

\- I am just tired. you replied. It was not entirely true, but it was not entirely bogus either, it was something in between.  
\- Well, it is not surprising. You have been going out quite a lot. James commented. He had read all about it in his hotel room after his public appearances.  
\- Every evening, I think. you stated and sighed.  
\- And that is a… bad… thing? James asked. It was obvious that something was bothering you but he was not quite sure what that something was.  
\- I don’t want to sound like an unappreciative bitch-  
\- Hey, you don’t! James exclaimed. He wanted you to know that there was nothing that you could not talk to him about. He was not going to judge you or tell you “I told you so”. No, he wanted to support you with anything and everything that you had to face in your life. Even when your life was physically far away from his.  
\- …but it’s like if Michael was trying too hard. I am tired, you know. I miss home… I miss laughing at stupid things and miss cooking and laying on the sofa. The simple things, you know? And even now I should be getting ready for this… I don’t know… “a starry night out” and I’m just… I’m just done. For one night, I don’t want to see any cameras or answer any questions about “who am I wearing tonight”.  
\- Ah… How are things otherwise with Michael? James asked.  
\- It is great. He is great… but I just do not know if I am the person who fits the spotlights…  
Then there was a knock on your door.  
\- Oh… It is Michael! I have to go. you said and smiled. Your smile was not the most sincere one but it had to do. It however made James worry a bit.  
\- Okay, greetings and (Y/N)…  
\- Yeah?  
\- Talk to him. I am sure that you’ll work it out, besides I’ll come home soon and you as you well know, there are no cameras in my bedroom… unless you want to-  
\- Goodbye James! you laughed and ended the video call.

You took your jacket as well as your purse and headed out. You greeted Michael and walked hand in hand to his car. When he got there, he took a blindfold out from his pocket and slipped it on your eyes. You chuckled nervously and tried to ask him what was going on, but Michael did not give you any clues. He just helped you to sit in the car and told you “you’ll see soon”. He kept telling you how this was the most amazing thing that you would have ever experienced and how this night was going to be spectacular. 

You listened to him talking as he drove the car and you answered him when he asked you how your day at work had been. Your day had been quite busy and somewhat rough and you were getting tired about the “oh this will be so great, so awesome, so unbelievably magnificent”. He parked the car and helped you out, walked you into a building and into an elevator. He walked you up the stairs and stated with an excited tone  
\- I am sure that you will love this!

For your ears his tone sounded too confident and self absorbed so you snapped  
\- Somehow I doubt that. Don’t get me wrong, Michael, but it feels that you are still trying to beat James and you do not really care about what I like.

Michael did not comment. He removed the blindfold and told you to open your eyes. You were greeted with a starry night sky and the sea of lights somewhere in the distance. The thing was that Michael had actually noticed that he had been wrong about you. Sure, you had enjoyed his company and even the fancy dates during the first and the second week. Then your mood had changed and your smile had become forced. First he had thought that it was only due to one or two bad dates but then he had realized that it was not about the dates being bad but the dates were just not you.

He had been quite surprised that you had not snapped at him any earlier and you had pushed through the dates like a champ although it was obvious that you were not either comfortable or gotten used to the life of the socialites. Actually Michael was kind of happy that he had assumed wrong. It meant that he got to be himself again and enjoy the small, simple things like laughing at the stupid jokes and lay on the sofa after a long day. So as soon as the weather forecast had confirmed that the Saturday night was going to be clear from clouds, he had cancelled the reservation he had had to yet another high street restaurant.

You kept staring at the pile of pillows and blankets that was next to a picnic basket. The sight was great and awesome, even unbelievably magnificent but in all the different ways that you had thought it would be. You had been expecting cameras, crowds and overpriced food but instead of that you were on a silent, private rooftop with a picnic basket and alone with the man you liked a lot.

\- Are you surprised? Michael asked.  
\- Yeah… This is… you answered with an amazed tone.  
\- Do you like it? he asked nervously. He hoped that he had gotten it right this time.  
\- Do I like…? you gasped and then paused for a moment as you took the scenery in.  
\- I love it! you exclaimed. Michael smiled, hugged you from behind and then pushed you to the pile of pillows. You spread them as he opened the basket and took out a bottle of sparkling wine and different kind of snacks. He had baked a pie for the night and also put some of that blackcurrant-ginger drink into a thermos bottle so it stayed hot for many hours.

You took off your shoes and put one blanket on Michaels shoulders and one on yours, the third blanket you put on your feet as you were sitting opposite from each other. Michael offered you a plate that had all your favorite snacks and a slice of the pie he had baked himself. Then he gave you a glass of sparkling wine and raised a toast for tonight and the nights to come. You sipped the wine and it was the brand that you liked. Not too sweet and not too dry.  
\- How did you…  
\- I am not blind, (Y/N). Sure I thought that glamorous life was what you wanted but then I noticed that I had been wrong. he answered with a smile on his face.  
\- I am sorry for snapping at you like I did… I just…  
\- I know but I deserved it. I think I lost the plot. I wanted to impress you and take you to all these different places but I ignored the fact that you’re not like the women I have been dating before.  
\- What am I like then? you asked curiously.  
\- You are my starry-kind-of-girl. he answered. You started to laugh. In this sense of “starry” he was absolutely right. You were happy because finally he really got you and understood the person that you were.

You ate and then put the foods back into the basket. Michael moved to sit next to you and lay you down on the soft, fluffy pillows. He took your hand and kissed your knuckles before tucking you both in with the blankets. You stared at the dark night sky and listened to the silence. Okay, there was the constant humming sound of traffic somewhere in the distance but otherwise it was silent. You kept smiling and squeezing Michaels hand because the moment was just perfect.

\- Are you happy? you asked suddenly.  
\- Uhuh. Michael answered and turned his head to face yours. You did the same and although it was very dark, you could see him smiling. He lifted his hand to caress your cheek and then rolled on his side. He really needed to kiss you now, in the soft darkness and in private so he lifted himself up and shifted himself so he was partially laying on top of you.

His lips found yours effortlessly and he knew just how to move them to make your head spin. The kiss was a combination of small, featherlike kisses and gentle nibbles as well as deep, but modest kisses that denied you the air as well as your capability to think clearly. Nothing else existed in the world; there were only you and him on the quiet faraway rooftop in the middle of strange galaxies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Lovelygirl2406 for staying #TeamMikke through all the ups and downs :D
> 
> And smut -warning for the next chapter.


	23. Starry night and the pile of pillows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut
> 
> Plot-wise, nothing really... just that... actually... until "***" it is safe to read.

Michaels hand found yours and he tangled his fingers with yours. He repositioned himself and let himself to shift some of his weight on you. You wrapped your arms around him as the kiss grew hungrier and more passionate. He shifted himself again and positioned you between your legs. He felt solid, strong and warm close to you and it was just perfect. You wrapped your leg around his calf and occasionally massaged it with the sole of your foot. You reached to open the buttons of his shirt because you needed to feel his soft skin against your cold fingers. You had dreamt about making love under the stars on a cold night and tonight you wanted to make that dream come true.  
Michael shivered when you reached to caress his back under his shirt. He did not care if your hands were cold as long as you just touched him because he adored the way your fingers always moved so gracefully on his skin, making him feel like he was the only person in the entire universe, the only man for you. You were always gentle and your touches were more than just random brushes or strokes; they had a deeper meaning and the meaning was to make him feel worshipped both physically as well as mentally. 

During these three weeks Michael had learned to learn the importance of being mentally connected with you and listening to what you said, also between the lines, because basically it was the same that you did to him. You listened to him in a way that made him feel like what he said mattered, you always paid attention to his expressions as well as tone so you read between the lines more than he even assumed to be possible. Therefore he felt a bit bad for not getting you immediately and actually wasting a couple of weeks by assuming that you the same with everybody else when actually you were quite different.

You loved the way his back felt; strong shoulders, masculine muscles that tensed and flexed depending on his movements, his skin was flawless and soft, warm and it always welcomed your touch. You loved how his warmth always made you feel warm. You had noticed Michael getting softer during the past three weeks. Sure he had been kind of showoff but you had been able to see behind that and he had become more open about his feelings, almost he had allowed himself to trust you and to feel whatever he felt for you. He was a playful but intelligent man who was interested in the world that surrounded him. You shared that with him and your deep conversations always puzzled you and challenged you to rationalize your point of views. It was something that you liked very much.  
There were of course topics that you did not agree upon but there were no topics that you could not discuss, all except one; James, but you had decided not to push it since the whole situation was a bit unconventional. You were just a bit worried that as long as Michael was unable to talk about his friend, it would remain as a taboo and then maybe grow into that elephant that was standing in the corner of the room. Everyone saw it but no one talked about it… and then the elephant would grow nails and fangs and tear everything apart.

Michael opened your jacket and reached to caress you under it. This time he wanted to take his time before undressing you or himself because he wanted to show you that it was not about sex and lust but when he touched you, it meant so many other things and he wanted you to know that he did not have any expectations. He would be completely satisfied if just concentrated caressing and holding each other tonight. Of course he did not mind if things progressed further but this time he wanted to create an emotional bond with you so when James came back, you would be unable to forget about him, your Michael.  
Michael helped you to sit and then slid your jacket off your shoulders and then lay you down again. He moved to lay next to you, very close still, but this way he had better chances to caress your skin on your clothes as well as under them. You lay on your back and caressed his face when he kept staring you with a calm smile on his face before leaning closer to kiss you again. He kept his caresses innocent and kept the kiss the same way. It went on and on as you both just enjoyed the feeling of having each other near.

***  
Now for the first time, during the entire evening, his hand ventured under your shirt. He kept his caresses surprisingly modest as he ran his warm hand on your stomach and sides. He brushed the skin between your breasts and also your collarbones as well as the top part of your breasts but only on the areas that were revealed by your neckline. Sometimes he kissed your neck and also that same area but still his caresses were very graceful and he did not imply that he was assuming anything from you.

You tangled your fingers into his hair as he kissed your neckline. It was not enough for you because what you wanted was to strip naked and then feel the contrast between the cold night air and Michaels mouth. You wanted him to experience the same thing, the excitement of possibly being caught and the sensation that the variation between cold and hot could provide to him. You wanted to know that you were the one that could and would make him warm in the middle of the cold. You knew how to make him warm and you wanted to show him that you did.  
You helped him to get off your shirt as well as his jacket and then you surprised him when you took off your bra, skirt, leggings and your panties. You were standing in front of him naked and shivering with your nipples hardened and begging to be touched. You knelt in front of Michael who was sitting in his jeans and shirt on the pillows.

\- Aren’t you cold? he asked with a trembling voice.  
\- I am… therefore I need you to make me warm. you said and slipped your hands under his shirt.  
\- May I? you asked and started to lift the hem of his shirt as soon as he nodded as the sign of approval. You looked absolutely ethereal in the soft, pale moonlight. The same light made his skin glow in a similar way when you had pulled his shirt off and exposed his upper body to the cold, humid air.  
\- I want to take it slow. Michael whispered as he traced your waist with his hands and lifted you to sit on his lap.  
\- You can take it as slow as you want. you whispered as you caressed his chest and shoulders. Michael pressed warm kisses on your collarbones as he ran his fingers on your back. You arched yourself and offered yourself to him to touch but he only kissed you between your breasts or above them. When your skin was getting cool, he lowered you back on the pillows and lay down next to you. He covered you both with the blanket and slid his fingers softly on your skin. You lifted your arms and buried them under the pillow.

\- Touch me anyway you like. you whispered and smiled at Michael as he memorized the curves of your naked form. Soon he placed his hand on your breast and cupped it. He started to massage it with slow, circular motions and followed your moans as they changed from soft and silent to more needy and demanding. He caressed your nipple and then lowered himself to plant openmouthed kisses on your breasts as his fingers started to map your thighs and legs.

You parted your legs as an invitation when his fingers brushed your inner thighs but did not venture to any more private areas. His mouth was now fully focused on your nipple and he kept nibbling and sucking it and also occasionally teasing it with his tongue. His fingers had moved finally on your lower lips and stroked them gently without getting any further yet. You kept yourself still and patiently waited for him to do as he pleased since you had given him a permission to do whatever he wanted to you and he had told you that he wanted to touch you slowly.  
Then suddenly he pressed his finger further into your slit and ran it slowly along it. His fingers felt heavenly against your hot flesh and it was getting almost impossible to keep yourself still. You would had wanted to start moving your hips and satisfy yourself with him, but once more, you decided to wait and see what would happen.

Michael found your clit easily. He kept caressing you with slow pace like he had had all the time in the world to dedicate to you and to you alone. He moved to kiss your lips as your moans got louder and you had no control over yourself anymore. You wrapped your arms around him and after a moment reached to caress Michael through his jeans. You managed to open his belt as well as the buttons of his jeans and slip your hand further. You felt his member slightly aroused yet and it did not take long to caress him into his full hardness.

Michael had slowed down his caresses as you had started to caress him. He had kept kissing you after he had helped you to help him to get rid of his jeans as well as his boxers. There was no way you could wait any longer and as soon as he was fully aroused, you moaned into his ear  
\- I need you inside… now.  
Michael was pleased that you wanted him so much that you could not wait for any minute longer. Therefore he did not object and he repositioned himself between your legs. With one slow but intense motion he slid as deep as he could and waited for a moment that you got comfortable. He had not had any time to get you ready for him because you had started to caress him before he was even nearly done with you.

Michael kept kissing and brushing your gorgeous features as he waited you to adjust yourself to be entirely filled as you were. “Move for me” you whispered when you were ready and bit your lip as he pulled almost entirely out and then claimed you again… and again. You moved with him and your movements melted together just as your bodies did. You both moved slowly as your goal was to make the moment to last as long as possible. Sure it was a bit cold but luckily you had the blankets to keep you warm as well as keep Michael warm.

Suddenly he pulled out and told you to turn on your stomach. You placed some pillows under your belly and it lifted your ass up and forced your back slightly arched which looked very sexy in Michaels opinion. He placed his legs on the both sides of your legs and carefully lowered himself on you. He kissed your neck as you tilted your head a bit and gathered your hair on the other side to allow him access to do whatever he wanted with your neck. As he kissed your neck, he slowly caressed your clit with his fingers and slid two fingers inside without a warning.

\- Do you want more? he whispered as he pulled his fingers out.  
\- Yes. you moaned and you were rewarded with three fingers instantly. Even his fingers felt quite filling now that your thighs were only slightly apart from each other. It meant that Michaels hard manhood that was now pressed against your ass cheeks would feel massive and you had to relax yourself entirely to be able to take him.  
\- Are you ready? he asked as he pressed the tip of his flesh against your opening. You bit your lip and moaned “yes” as a response. Michael had never had you so tight. You were a total opposite of the cold wind that sometimes worked its way under the blanket. He kept thrusting deeper until he was entirely in. He panted against your shoulder and started then to move with slow and steady pace. He wrapped his arm around you to keep you close because he wanted to feel completely united with you.

\- Does this feel good for you? he asked and smiled against your skin. You knew that you were not probably going to reach an orgasm like this but it felt very good nevertheless.  
\- You feel good. you moaned as he thrust fully into your hot, wet depths. You moved your hips with the same rhythm than Michael did and his motions matched yours perfectly. He kept his motions slow but very intense and intimate until he reached his release. He collapsed to kiss your shoulder as he waited for a moment before pulling out. Then he moved next to you and you turned on your side to face him as you both waited your breaths to calm down. He knew that you were left unsatisfied and that did not do. He had broken his own rule, which was to make sure that you came first and that rule could be applied to everything else as well. No matter what kind of decisions he made, he would consider his girlfriend first.

After an hour of stargazing and caressing each other under the blankets Michael told you that you were actually on the roof of his building. It meant that you did not have to get dressed. All you needed and all he needed as well was to wrap yourselves to blankets and he would come tomorrow and collect the pillows, the picnic things and so on in the morning… or afternoon.  
You laughed and wrapped yourself into a blanket, put on your shoes and followed Michael to his apartment. It was a late night so there was basically no danger to be seen unless of course, someone was returning from bar or something at the same moment. Luckily it did not happen although the threat of getting caught was strangely exciting.

When got in, Michael lifted you on his arms and carried you into the bathroom. You squealed a bit as you laughed and got robbed from your blanket all of a sudden. Michael pushed you against the bathroom wall and locked you in your place with his body. He stared intensely into your eyes and then stated  
\- You did not think that I would leave you unsatisfied, did you?  
\- I am not unsatisf-  
\- Shhh… You are if I say so. he said and put the shower on. “Get comfortable” he said and then left you for a moment. Soon he returned and locked you against the wall again.  
\- Remember this? he asked as he ran that familiar toy on your breasts and teased your nipples with it. You chuckled a bit suddenly felt Michaels knee between your legs parting them slightly.  
\- I will make you sleep with it if you will not behave. he demanded. Oh it made you aroused, the soft but assertive tone of his voice, that hungry and intense spark in his eyes.  
\- Let’s try this again. Are you completely satisfied already? he asked. You swallowed once and felt how the vibrating toy was getting closer to your slit.  
\- No. you gasped as Michael brushed your lower lips with the toy. It felt heavenly especially when it was combined to the warm water that was constantly falling on your skin and the strong, firm body of Michael who was demanding you to surrender yourself to him so he could give you the release you deserved.

\- Spread your legs for me, dear. he demanded. You wanted to obey him, do whatever he wanted as long as it meant that you got your release tonight. You had thought that being close to Michael would be enough but now that he was offering you the orgasm, you did not dare to refuse. You neither dared nor wanted to refuse. Therefore you spread your legs and closed your eyes as Michael pressed the toy against your clit.  
You gasped for air as he moved the toy against your most sensitive areas with slow, circular motions. As soon as he had found the right speed and the right way to please you, he did not stop. He locked your body against the wall even more firmly and stared at your face as you whimpered and fought the feeling of having your feet give in. Michael kept staring at you very closely and it made you feel more naked than ever before. You had to give in to the orgasm that had been building up inside you and trust Michael that he would not let you fall on the floor even if your feet gave in. You pressed yourself against the toy and his hand and closed your eyes as you held your breath and smiled. You chuckled slightly as even the slightest movements made you shake.

You reached to kiss Michael when you finally caught your breath and felt like trusting your own feet again. He had removed the toy and it was now vibrating against your thigh. You felt that that Michael was getting aroused and you needed to come with him. If you did that, the night would be perfect. You wanted to fall into his bed knowing that you both had given your everything to each other, physically as well as mentally.

You wrapped your hand around Michaels semi-hardened shaft and stroked him until he was entirely hard. He pressed your back against the wall again and bent his knees a bit. You lifted your leg and wrapped it behind his thigh as he slid in. The falling water felt like thousand gentle hands caressing you simultaneously and feeling his lips dancing with yours, made the experience equally intense and intimate. You felt Michael placing the toy against your clit so as long as Michael stayed close and kept rocking himself against you, into you, the toy stayed against your clit. Its sensuous vibration added to the slow grind, the falling warm water, his lips and feeling of him surrounding you, filling you and possessing you pushed you over the edge quite rapidly. Michael however was not there yet but instead of increasing the pace, he kept his movements exactly the same which prolonged your orgasm and made you shake in his arms constantly.

Then finally he allowed himself to increase the speed a little so after a few deep thrusts he came undone in your arms, with you, for you. He pulled out, removed the toy because your clit was getting oversensitive and then he just embraced you as you embraced him. You pressed your cheek against his chest and brushed the skin of his back as the water softly washed away all the traces of love making. Michael kissed your forehead and told you how happy he was to have you near. You smiled against his skin and snuggled closer to him.

After you had both washed yourselves and each other, you wrapped yourselves into large towels and went to bed. You got under covers and lay side by side, staring at the ceiling while you discussed about nothing of great importance. Michael turned on his side suddenly and smiled as he stared at you staring at the ceiling. You were laughing at the most stupid joke ever that you had told yourself but Michael had not understood it. He however loved to hear you laughing and seeing you shaking because of laughing so freely as well. You turned your head when you noticed that he was staring at you.

You did not stop laughing so he had no other way to shut you up than to roll on top of you and muffle your laughter with a deep goodnight kiss.


	24. James returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James comes back after 3 weeks.

You woke up before Michael. You were resting your head on his chest that rose and fell steadily. It was late Sunday afternoon and you knew that you were supposed to leave soon. You had promised James that you would go and fill his fridge, spend the night at his house and then meet him at the airport if you woke up early enough. It was great to see James again, although it had been great to spend time with Michael, now that he was not trying so much anymore, acting like a jerk and most importantly, now that he was not competing against James. Yeah, you had been somewhat sick and tired with that situation.

You did not really want to leave the bed. It was too comfortable, warm and nice under the covers and listening to Michael’s breathing was too relaxing but you knew that you had to go soon. Michael woke up. His hand was on your back and he notified you about his waking up by pulling you closer and murmuring “good morning” into your ear. You slid your hand from his to his side and wrapped your arm around him as you pressed a kiss on his chest.  
\- It is hardly a morning. you mumbled against his skin.  
\- How about we just watch movies the entire day. No need to even get dressed. he suggested. You laughed and you had to admit yourself that the plan sounded very nice but you knew that you had to go soon. You did not answer anything because you did not know what to say really.  
\- I know you have to go soon. Michael said. He really hoped that you did not have to go but he knew that James was coming back and they had agreed that the switch would happen on Sunday instead of Friday like had been previously agreed. They had also agreed with James that you would now spend two weeks with him because James really wanted time to catch up with you and Michael had now three weeks to spend with you so even in Michael’s opinion it was only fair… although to be honest, he did not like the idea too much because he would have loved to keep you all by himself.

\- Okay… breakfast. Michael said and sat up. He left the bed and you secretly admired his naked body which you liked very much. You liked the way it felt, the way it looked, the way it moved, basically everything about it. He got dressed in loose pants that hung on his hips and left himself shirtless. He gave you his shirt and he secretly admired you wearing his shirt and your underwear.  
After eating you had to leave. Leaving was always hard as well as saying goodbye but it had to be done. Michael kissed you just before you left and then embraced you for a long time. He called you his own and told you that were very dear to him. You smiled and told him that he was very dear to you too. Then you left although it made you sad but also somewhat excited because you had been missing James and after sharing many long Skype-calls with him it was wonderful to talk with him face to face.

You went home, took a shower for a mental transition and then got dressed again. You went to the shop and took a bus to James’ neighborhood. You had to walk to get there but luckily the weather was just as clear as it had been during last night. James had told you where he hid the spare key was and you let yourself in. You put the food into the fridge and started to clean. The apartment was in perfect order but you wiped the surfaces so there was no dust and that was it.  
You called Michael and you talked with him for an hour as you prepared dinner. You had told him that you were going to James’ place. Michael suggested that you would have a party and mess everything up. The idea made you laugh as you imagined the look on James’ face when he would return and find the whole place turned upside down. You wished Michael goodnight and then hung up with kisses.

After eating dinner you cleaned the kitchen, washed your teeth and then went to bed. You set the alarm so you would get to the airport in time. James’ airplane was going to land at 7 AM so you had to leave his home at 6 AM and wake up at 5 AM. It was very early for you. You lay in the middle of the bed and waited for the sleep which did not come. Then finally, after several hours of rolling and searching for a nice position to sleep in, you fell asleep and had pleasant dreams about things that had happened. At 5 AM your phone started to ring and you opened your eyes. You smiled to yourself as you stared at the ceiling and got up. You felt surprisingly refreshed although you had slept only a couple of hours.

You ate a little bit breakfast and got yourself ready. At 6 AM when you got out you were greeted by a taxi driver who told you that Mr. McAvoy had ordered a taxi ride from this address to the airport and back and it all had been paid in advance. You were speechless because it made it so much easier when you did not have to walk to the nearest bus stop and then take that bus somewhere and then change and maybe change again. You had checked the route and connections online and it was all very doable but this was just so much easier.

You got into the taxi and fortunately the driver was not much of a talker because you did not really feel like small talk at the moment. You had been feeling very cheerful and energetic but now that you sat down you started to feel slightly zombie-ish. Your brain was lacking sleep and it was slowing down. But then you arrived to the airport and as you got out from the car and breathed in the cool air, you felt a new boost of energy taking a hold of your body. You walked to the drivers door and knocked the window. He opened it and you asked the driver if he knew where the arrivals terminal was and then felt slightly idiotic when he told you that he had parked just outside the main entrance.  
You cursed in your native language and told the taxi driver that you would return as soon as you had located your friend. Then you walked in and checked the arrivals. James’ flight had just landed and you reasoned that it took some time for him to get his luggage but then again he was most likely flying in the first class and got his luggage faster than the normal mortals. It did not take more than 20 minutes of waiting when you saw James walking out from the first class customs with his manager with whom he was clearly having a conversation with.

You did not want to go and interrupt so you decided to wait patiently as long as you needed, well, as long as James needed to talk with his manager, that was. Then finally he raised his hand to greet you and started to walk in your direction. You felt nervous and hoped that you looked somewhat beautiful because you had not seen him for over three weeks. When he was standing in front of you, you said barely audible one single word which was “hi” and it was almost like a sigh.

\- Shall we? you asked and pointed at the exit. You really wanted to get out from the airport as quickly as possible because it was only a matter of time when someone recognized James and notified the yellow press. No, you did not want to start the time with James by ending up on the first page of the tabloids.  
\- Aren’t you going to kiss me first? James asked. He tilted his head and pursed up his lips.  
\- Like in that most clichéd airport scene in that romcom –movie? you asked and chuckled a little.  
\- Which one? James asked. He knew those movies although he had not starred in those himself.  
\- Like every and each one of them. you stated and laughed. Oh, you knew those movies all too well because it was sometimes a secret hobby of yours; to watch clichéd romantic comedies and eat ice cream straight from the packet while dreaming about the Prince Charming and sobbing internally because you knew that Mr. Perfect did not exist.  
\- I think that would require you running into my arms from the other side of this hall. James stated.  
\- True… Would you like me to do that? you asked. You had secretly dreamt about making an airport scene like that happen someday. It was a stupid dream but it was funny to joke about it.

\- Nah- James commented. He rather lay low and avoid attracting public attention.  
\- Are you sure? I mean I could shout your name like a maniac as I run towards you-  
\- And scream as well? James asked. He knew that you were joking and he decided to go along with it. He had missed the way you laughed and joked with him.  
\- Absolutely! Tackle a couple of elderly people and completely embarrass you. you added with an enthusiastic tone and eyes that almost sparkled with excitement.  
\- Well that sounds tempting-  
\- Yeah, doesn’t it? you laughed.  
\- Ha-ha! James laughed as well. Then you stopped laughing and asked playfully  
\- Should I?  
\- Sure! James exclaimed. He wanted almost know now if he could actually challenge you to do it, no matter of public disturbance or getting into headlines.  
\- Oh-well… the moment is gone. Maybe next time. you said and sighed.

\- Are you sure? I mean it would be pretty entertaining-  
\- Yeah… but it would feel totally forced now. you reasoned and looked very disappointed.  
\- Really? James asked with a tone that was a combination of surprised and amused.  
\- Well, you turned me down, so… You can pretty much blame yourself. you stated and shook your head which made James laugh. You really looked like you had gotten very disappointed but he knew that it was just part of the joke.  
\- Indeed. Well, the next time then. James mumbled and winked his eye at you.  
\- Yes! Gosh, I’ve missed you! you exclaimed and smiled widely.  
\- Oh, I’ve missed you too! James replied and smiled a little shyly. He had missed you quite a lot actually and it was almost awkward to admit how much he had been thinking about you while his trip. You had been the first and the last thing on his mind and pretty much all the remaining time in between also, when he was not working, that was. He after all was a professional and when he was working, he focused on what he was doing.

James wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight embrace. You did the same and hugging for several minutes which flew by like a couple of blinks, he kissed your neck just under your ear and whispered that he really wanted to kiss you now. You chuckled a little and shifted yourself a little so you were able to find James’ lips with your eyes closed. Kissing him felt almost like you had been kissing him for the first time.  
There were butterflies in your stomach and your knees were turning into mush. The only thing that reminded you about the fact that it was not the first time you were kissing him, was the fact that he knew exactly how to kiss you. Even though you had not kissed him for over three weeks, your lips remembered each other like there had not been any break in kissing, none whatsoever. James felt the same way although he had not been able to sleep during his flight and he was getting very tired.

\- Okay… let’s go. you whispered against his lips when his lips parted from yours a little. James mumbled “alright” and then stepped away from you. He took his luggage, you took his smaller bag and then you walked hand in hand to the taxi that was still waiting for you as agreed. The driver helped with the bags and put them into the trunk, opened the door for you and then to James. You both got buckled up to the backseat and the taxi drove away. The taxi parked to the driveway of James’ house and after helping again with the bags, the driver drove away.  
\- Oh, it is good to be back. James said and filled his lungs with the fresh air of his London suburban neighborhood. The air was familiarly humid and although it was a sunny morning, there was a bit of wind blowing from the east and it was foreshadowing showers for the afternoon. James however did not mind because he wanted just to get some sleep and in his opinion it would be just pleasant to wake up to the sound of rain hitting the roof.

\- Yeah? you commented although it was pretty obvious.  
\- Yes. James stated with a firm, calm voice. He really meant what he said.  
\- Did you have a good trip? you asked with a curious tone.  
\- It was alright but you know how they can be tiring sometimes-  
\- I really don’t but I can imagine… the never ending interviews with the same questions… you said. You had thought about it many times if actors ever got tired of the same questions and same jokes.  
\- Yeah and different cities that I do not have time to explore and different hotel rooms that are all the same from the mini-bars to uncomfortable pillows. James listed. You could hear a little bit tiredness and frustration in his voice but you did not want to point that out because it most likely was just due to the lack of sleep and long flight. You both got inside and pulled the door shut after you had lifted the bags inside.  
\- Yes… Your life is truly painful. you teased as took off your jacket as well as your shoes.  
\- Well, at least we can agree that being away from the people you care deeply for is a downside. James stated and you did not know if he had actually understood that you had only joked when you had stated that his luxurious-life was a pain in the ass.  
\- Yeah… I have no doubt about that. you commented with a sympathetic tone.

You had prepared some sandwiches to eat beforehand so James got to grab a quick breakfast before getting some sleep. You set the table while James took a shower and got dressed in his favorite pajama-pants. He looked absolutely adorable with wet, messy hair and pajama pants. You poured him a glass of orange juice and handed him two sandwiches, one topped with cheese and tomato and one with ham and paprika. You ate and drank as well and then cleaned the kitchen while James got ready for bed. He wanted to call his family to let them know that he was back in London before getting some sleep.

You smiled to yourself when listened to James talking to his mother and when he was done, he walked behind you and hugged you as you were rinsing the dishes. He mumbled that you should come to bed with him immediately and you washed your hands before following him into the bedroom. You had changed the linens just the evening before so they were very fresh and inviting. Sure, you had slept in them one night but James did not mind that they had a faint scent of you because he liked it very much. Your hair always smelled a little fruity or flowery, he could not decide which one it was and your skin smelled always fresh and beautiful.

James dived into the sheets and you followed him after taking off your jeans and the long sleeved shirt you were wearing. He opened his arms for you and you lay your head on his chest and wrapped your arm around him. James stroked your arm slowly and soon he fell asleep. It did not take long for you to fall asleep as well. You after all had woken up very early tomorrow morning. Much earlier than you usually did.  
It was late afternoon when you woke up. James was still sleeping but you decided to surprise him by cooking dinner. He mumbled something when you left the bed so you placed a big pillow into his arms and he continued sleeping peacefully. The sight made you laugh and you took one picture for yourself to use as the caller-icon for James. Then you got dressed and left the bedroom, pulled the door closed after you and went into the kitchen. You opened the fridge and took a quick glance of the stuff that you had bought yesterday.

You had somewhat clear idea of the food that you wanted to prepare and you had bought ingredients for that. You put on your headphones and started to cook as you listened to your favorite playlist. At some point you kind of forgot that you were not actually at your own home and started to sing. James had woken up a little while ago and stayed in bed listening to you singing in the kitchen. He sometimes laughed when you did not remember all the lyrics and just mumbled very random things until you again remembered the lyrics. 

James was very happy to be home and he was even happier to be home with you. He had missed you very much although the long Skype-calls had helped a bit. He kept thinking about the old days when there were no cell phones or Internet, not in wide use at least… not that he had lived that time much, but thinking about being on the other side of the world without any means to be contacted to one another made him sad. Sure there had been landlines and letters but it was different. Now you could just call someone with video and it was almost like you had been actually there with the other person. Okay, not really, but still closer than before the time of video calls and social media.

After a moment he took his phone, got out from his bed and sneaked into the kitchen with the phone which was recording a video of you singing, cooking and dancing. When you saw James standing on the other side of the kitchen counter with the camera, smirking at you, you burst into laughter and made him promise that he would not upload that video. James answered “no-no, I will just send it to Michael” which caused you to object even more. James answered “fine” and then called to his buddy. He really wanted to catch up with Michael and go out for a pint with him. This evening already, after dinner if Michael was free.


	25. Reality vs. expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First of all, sorry for the long break from writing. It has been a bit difficult to gather motivation to put the story on "the paper" but finally, after almost a month of not-getting-it-done, here it is, the next chapter for this love triangle :D
> 
> So... James wants to go to bar with his mate... You had expected to spend the evening with him alone, at his place... drama follows.

Hearing him saying that did not exactly make you happy. You had hoped that you could spend the evening as well as the night with James and catch up with him and in a way you felt that he was choosing Michael over you which made you jealous. You understood that Michael was James’ dear friend and he had known him longer than he had known you, you couldn’t help feeling slightly offended. You did not say anything and did not even dare to object. You even faked a smile but the truth was that your mood was somewhat ruined. You did not show that to James but it was the harsh reality of the situation that you were disappointed.

Michael answered and agreed to meet James at a pub after dinner although Michael tried to subtly suggest that maybe tonight was not the right night to go bar-hopping. James disagreed. When the phone call had ended, Michael sent you a message. He asked if you were alright with it and you answered him in secret “yeah” although you were more or less boiling. Michael stared at your message on the screen of his phone and read between the lines somehow that you were not too happy about it. He felt sorry for you.

You started to eat and shared a lively conversation about what had happened in London and how the trip in Asia had gone. Then a silence followed. You kept thinking about different ways you could spend time with James without keeping him from Michael, because you really wanted to spend time with James now that he had returned, so you decided to suggest the following  
\- You know, I could come with you… you mumbled as you were filling your glass with water. James lifted his gaze from his plate and chuckled.  
\- It’s a guy-thing… I do not think you would enjoy it too much. he answered casually.  
\- Right… you mumbled and offered to fill James’ glass as well. He however stood up and got a beer from the fridge.  
\- Besides you have work tomorrow. he reasoned as he opened the bottle and poured the golden brown drink into his glass.  
\- Yeah, I do. you admitted. The truth was that you were not that interested about going to bed early and you just wanted to spend time with James and were ready to bear the awkwardness of being in the same room with Michael, James and yourself but James did not seem too enthusiastic about your suggestion. He put the bottle on the table and explained  
\- You have prepared a wonderful meal and cleaned my house. I am sure you rather go to sleep-  
\- Yeah. Or you could just say that you don’t want me there. you snapped because his reasoning sounded very fake in your ears.

\- What? It is not true! James exclaimed although the truth was that he wanted to go out with the guys and you tagging along would screw up his plans.  
\- Right, sure. you mumbled and played with the salad with your fork. You kept moving the pieces of cucumber from the other side of the plate to the other as you stared at it.  
\- Yes! So you’ll just run yourself a warm bath and there is no need for you to stay up for me because I will most likely be late. James said and sipped his beer. In his mind his reasoning sounded just fine.  
\- Uhuh? you commented with a sarcastic tone. James scoffed as a reaction and continued  
\- I cannot understand what the problem is. We’ll have two weeks-  
\- You just came home and I have missed you. I honestly assumed that you would be happy to spend time with me, but you rather go out with Michael instead. you stated and crossed your arms.  
\- What are you implying? he asked and leaned back in his chair. James was annoyed because you were giving him so hard time about grabbing a pint with his friend.  
\- Nothing. It is just nice to see what your priorities are. you commented with a tone that made it clear that you were disappointed.  
\- Hey, Michael is my mate. James reasoned with a tone that was slightly louder than he had hoped.  
\- Yeah and I am your girlfriend… or that’s what I thought. you answered with a sarcastic tone.  
\- You’re being overly dramatic. James chuckled. This made you explode internally and this time you could not keep it all in.  
\- Oh I’ll show you “dramatic”! you said and left the table. 

You had missed him and waited for this moment, the moment to have him back but the reality did not exactly match your expectation. You were disappointed with yourself that you made such a big deal out of it but then again you had just spent three weeks with Michael who had wanted to spend time with you, almost every moment he possibly could. He had taken you into places and even though he had been trying too much, he had at least tried. He had wanted to be your boyfriend and he had wanted to charm you.  
You had not exactly appreciated it then, that much at least, but now that your other boyfriend James came back and rather went out with his mate than stayed with you, it made you to question the point of the whole arrangement. You did not really “need” two boyfriends, hell, if you had known what James’ priorities were you would have told Michael that you wanted him and only him… maybe. You did not really mean that because you liked James very much but since you were now pissed off at him, you really could not see the ingenuity of the agreement.

James continued eating. He sometimes stared at your plate that was only half-done and sighed. Michael sent him a message and suggested once more that they would postpone their get-together but James did not want to because you were pissed at him already. In his opinion there was no reason not to follow the plan and get the pint with Michael because the damage was done already. Sure he now understood that maybe the timing was the worst possible but then again, he had known Michael for longer than he had known you so he was higher priority.

You gathered your things and left James’ house. There was no point for you to stay there because James was leaving himself. You thought about the last conversation you had had with him before slamming the door behind you.  
\- You’re not staying? James had asked as he had finally left the table and come to see you putting your shoes on.  
\- What’s the point? You’re leaving anyway and I’m working tomorrow and therefore I think it will make sense that I will not be here when you’ll come home late and most likely wake me up-  
\- Why would I wake you up? James scoffed.  
\- Well, not deliberately, obviously, but most likely you’ll be drunk or tipsy at least-  
\- So now I’m not allowed to have a pint or two! he exclaimed.  
\- I do not care about how many pints you’ll drink! It was not the point! you exclaimed back.  
\- What was the point then? Because to me it seems that all you want is to control my life-  
You scoffed and slammed the door shut right in front of James’ eyes. 

You cursed loudly as you walked away from the main door. You wanted to get away from his house and yard as fast as possible and cursed him as well as yourself for overreacting but also for taking part to that arrangement that now made no sense whatsoever. Your mind was turning towards Michael but you could not go to him because you did not want to get Michael involved in the drama. James and Michael were friends after all and you did not want to ruin that.  
That was what your rational mind told you anyway. In your heart you wished that you could just call Michael, ask him to pick you up and tell James to screw himself but it would ruin too many relationships. It would ruin your relationship with James, it would ruin James’ relationship with Michael and you were quite sure that eventually it would ruin your relationship with Michael too because you would be the reason why the relationship with his close friend got fucked up.

James stared at the closed door and then walked to the fridge. He found a couple of beers and called himself a taxi. By the time the taxi arrived, he was somewhat tipsy already due to drinking the beers and a few shots of vodka within 30 minutes. James decided not to care about your feelings. He had been supporting you throughout your difficulties with Michael during those three weeks that he had not been in London and this was how you repaid him. He only wanted to see his mate and catch up with him. Then the taxi came and took him to the pub where Michael was already waiting for him.

Michael was surprised to see James quite drunk already and he decided that he would call you as soon as he got a chance. He did not know what was going on but he had a feeling that maybe everything was not alright although you had told him that it was. Michael had been surprised to get a call from James because he had assumed that surely his friend would be busy with you. You after all had not seen James for more than three weeks and Michael also knew, even though you never admitted it, that you had missed James while he had been away from London. Therefore this situation, James’ behavior did not make any sense to Michael. 

Michael excused himself to toilet but he went outside instead. He called you and for his surprise, you answered. It was surprising because you had told him previously not to call you when it was not his week but now he had to hear your voice and make sure that you were alright. You sounded tired as you tried to convince Michael that you were alright and he even asked if you wanted him to come over after telling James to go fuck himself.  
\- No-no… It would ruin your friendship with him, Michael. you reasoned. Their friendship was the only reason at the moment that was keeping you from asking Michael to ditch his friend and come over to offer his shoulder to you.  
\- I don’t care. Michael answered. He heard that your voice was shaky and you were more silent that you usually were, therefore he was basically ready to call a taxi and come to you.  
\- You should. You have been his friend much longer than you have even been aware of my existence. I really did not want you to get in the middle of this drama. you said. You tried to keep your tone strong and as if everything was fine but you were not succeeding that well.  
\- Hey, you’re my girl. James might not have his priorities in check but I have mine. Michael said immediately.  
\- I appreciate that. you answered and smiled a little. Hearing Michael saying it made you feel better because you knew that at least the other boyfriend cared. He continued with soft, caring tone  
\- You can count on me. I would do anything for you, I would come-  
\- Don’t say that-  
\- Listen, I would come there in a heartbeat and I would hold you. I would kiss you and I would embrace you until you’ll leave for work. Just say the word and I’ll come. he said as he walked around the parking lot that was located right in front of the pub.

\- Michael, I am alright. Don’t worry too much. Go and have good time. Make it worth it so I’ll know that tonight was fun for at least one of us. you mumbled and tried to sound as cheerful as possible.  
\- How I’m supposed to have fun when you’re feeling miserable? Darling-  
\- I’ll just go to bed early and get some sleep-  
\- Sweetheart-  
\- Yeah? you asked and listened to the background noises from the traffic and the pub.  
\- Will you be alright? Michael asked after he was sure that he had all your attention.  
\- Uh-uh. Yes. Go! Don’t worry about me. you answered and laughed a little.  
\- Are you sure? he asked and stared at the streetlamp under which he was currently standing.  
\- Yes! Have fun, please. you laughed. You really did not feel like laughing but it was the only way to make Michael convinced that you were alright.  
\- I-I don’t know… he hesitated.  
\- Please Michael. It will make me feel better if I’ll know that you’ll be having fun. you pleaded.  
\- Alright. But I do not like this. Michael replied after weighing his options. At least by staying with James he was able to make sure that he did not get into a trouble.  
\- Come on, it’s not that bad. you chuckled in return.  
\- It is not good either. I know that he is my friend and you want it to stay that way which I admire and appreciate but it is not worth it if you’ll get hurt. So, just remember that, okay? he said with concerned tone. You treasured his words and smiled briefly as you stared out from the window, into the darkness.  
\- Okay. you said after a moment and swallowed once because you did not want to start crying on the phone. Michael listened to your breathing for a moment in silence until you said  
\- Michael?  
\- Yes (Y/N)?  
\- You are very dear to me. you said, wished him to have fun with James and asked Michael not to tell James that you had talked with him. He gave you his word and sighed after you had ended the call. He got back inside the pub and stared at James’ table. James was sitting and drinking with some random guys and drinking Irish drinking songs with loud voice. Michael ordered a pint and returned to the table like nothing had happened. He kept thinking about the conversation that you had had with him and he felt bad for you.

You took a shower and went to bed. You sent a message to James and wished him to stay safe and sent a message to Michael telling him to enjoy himself. James did not answer but Michael did. Michael wished you goodnight and sent you kisses. Then your phone beeped again and there was yet another message from Michael telling you that you were also very dear to him. It made you happy, so very happy and with that thought you fell asleep.

Michael left the pub at the same time with James when the call for last orders came. Michael however headed home while James decided to go to a nightclub downtown. Michael felt a bit guilty for leaving James but he was tired and since he had drank only a few pints, it was getting annoying to follow James’ drunken fooling around. He suggested that James would go home and warned that he was surely going to have a terrible hangover and he was risking his relationship with you but James was on the party-mode and before Michael even finished his reasoning, James slammed the taxis door shut and left. Michael took a taxi home and went to bed.

James however continued partying until the sky started to turn light green and orange. He got home and passed out in his bed with his clothes on. There had been plenty of women surrounding him the entire time at the nightclub but fortunately James had had that amount of reason in his head that he had not taken any of them home with him. Actually in the early hours of the morning, he had started to regret that he had gone out in the first place and cursed himself for it plenty of times.  
\- Fucking idiot! he mumbled as his cheek hit the pillow that, quite ironically, carried your scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been dedicated to Michaela because I think I promised to dedicate the next Mikke-chapter to her... It was such a long time ago (sorry for the long pause btw) that I hope that my memory ain't failing me :D
> 
> I hope you liked this :)
> 
> \- Venla :)
> 
> ps. Next chapters will be equally dedicated to Angel_Style and Pilvi... and smut -warning


	26. Fight and make up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay... safe to read until "***"
> 
> then begins the smut.
> 
> Sorry for the writing-break... I hope this was worth the wait.

You woke up and started to get ready for the work. The previous evening was still fresh in your mind and you were pissed off at James, ready to call it quits with him, well, almost at least. You felt that the only way to move forward was to clear some air but you were not that sure if you wanted to clear the air today because you were somewhat certain that you would just explode. You had missed James, cleaned his house for him and cooked for him and instead of wanting to spend the evening with you he had wanted to go out and get drunk. Then Michael had called you to make sure that you were doing alright and ironically he had become the person you trusted during the past weeks.

You ate breakfast and got dressed in your favorite clothes because you wanted to at least feel good physically and you knew that wearing clothes that you liked would cheer you up a little. Emotionally you were done, so done that you even started to laugh. Your laughter however was not happy laughter but bitter and tired. When you had put some makeup and fixed your hair, you left home and headed to work. There you faced lots of conflicts and you were kept busy all the time. Suddenly you were summoned from the employees’ coffee-room. You put your lunch away and followed the co-worker.

\- James! you exclaimed when you saw the Scotsman standing at your workplace with some flowers. He looked somewhat terrible, hangover-ish but more than that he looked like he had kicked himself mentally down the entire morning. You thought that he deserved every bit of self blame he would muster but still seeing him like that made you feel bad for him. You signed him to follow you into the coffee room and when he had entered it, you closed the door behind him.  
\- So… you said and crossed your arms. Your body language made it quite clear that this was not the time or the place to have this conversation. You had not slept that much, or that well at least, and the beginning of your work shift had been somewhat a pain in the ass and now even your precious lunch break had been interrupted. James went through all the things he wanted to say in his head and then after a moment of silence he said  
\- I don’t know what to say… I was an idiot-  
\- Yeah, you indeed were. you scoffed. You hated it when your coworkers sometimes brought their personal problems to the workplace and now you had done the same. It was very unprofessional and your own behavior annoyed you greatly.

\- I’m sorry-  
\- You shouldn’t be here. you stated suddenly. James jumped a little, almost he had been hit with a bucket of ice-cold water. He gasped for air and for a moment he looked heartbroken.  
\- Do you really think so? he asked with a shaky tone although he knew that you most likely did not appreciate that he had brought your relationship problems to your workplace. He knew that you did not want to go through it all in front of everybody and he also knew that when he left the workplace, you were the one who had to answer all the questions and deal with the aftermath. “Maybe it was a mistake that I came” he thought and dropped his head. You looked distant and cold and to be completely honest, the way you looked at him made him feel worse than any hangover ever could.  
\- Yeah… I cannot deal with you right now… and you appearing to my workplace will cause rumors. you stated with an emotionless tone.

\- I don’t care. I am not willing to hide our relationship-  
\- What relationship? You rather spend time with Michael than me! you semi-yelled as you forgot for a moment that you were at your workplace and the walls were rather thin there. You were getting angry and it got more difficult by every passing moment to keep yourself in check, the last thing you wanted to do was to start to cry because in few minutes you were expected to continue working and having teary eyes did not do.  
\- Like I said… I cannot deal with this right now. you repeated with a firm tone. James ran his fingers through his hair nervously and then gave you the flowers. You put them on the table because you did not really want to hold them in your hands now.  
\- Will you come to my place after work? James asked. His words broke the silence and woke you up from your thoughts.  
\- Honestly, I don’t know. you answered. James noticed that your voice sounded fragile and you both sounded as well as looked very tired… “so done”. He had never seen you quite that done as you looked now. Sure he had seen you somewhat angry before but this was the new level of angry and he could sense that what he saw was just the tip of the iceberg; most likely 90 percent of the feelings you kept hidden and below the surface. It was that 90 percent that he was afraid of. What if the damage had this time been so great that there was no way to fix it?

\- Oh… he commented with a voice that was barely audible. James had not expected you to be so angry although he knew that you had a valid reason to have those negative feelings towards him and he knew that he was the one to blame for the whole mess. You took a good look at him and felt your heart ache, no, you could not be so cold that you would deny the chance to make it right from him.  
\- Fine… but so you know, I am very pissed off. you said and unfolded your arms. That motion made you look less defensive, which gave James some hope. He looked slightly relieved and chuckled a bit as he replied  
\- Yeah, kind of figured.

A silence followed that statement. You did not understand why the Scotsman was laughing, well he really was not laughing but for you his chuckling had sounded like he was not taking the situation seriously enough. James noticed that you scoffed and gestured that his chuckle was not that appreciated and the slightly hopeful smile escaped his face immediately.  
\- Well… I’ll be waiting for you. he said after a moment.  
\- Yeah, well whatever. I really need to get on with it now. you answered and pursed up your lips defiantly. Oh how James had missed those lips. He had missed those so much the entire time that he had been traveling around Asia and now instead of smiling at him, those beautiful lips of yours were communicating disgust and hatred. Of course James knew that most likely you did not hate him, but you did not love him either, not now.  
\- Sure… he commented.  
\- It means that I need you to leave. you continued because James did not seem like he had really gotten the message.  
\- Oh, yes, of course. Well… I’ll see you later, yeah? he asked and looked at you with pleading eyes but the only answer you were able to give him was a short  
\- Maybe.

James left the room and you sat down for a moment before putting the flowers into a vase. You ran your fingers on the leaves and sighed but the moment was interrupted by a sharp pain as you stung your finger to a rose thorn that the florist had not noticed to remove. You let out a silent “ouch” and stared at the small red drop that appeared on your fingertip. It made you wonder why on earth relationships had to be like that; so beautiful but if you did not pay attention, you would eventually get hurt and be left alone, bleeding, You shook your thought away, stood up and put the flowers into a vase.

You could not get it out from your mind how James had just chosen drinking with Michael over you but you could not forget the look on James’ face when he had left the room just a few minutes ago. He clearly knew that he had messed up and he looked terribly beaten up about it. “Maybe I’m being too hard on him” you thought but then shook that thought out from your head. You reminded yourself continuously that you had the right to be angry at him and there was nothing that could just magically change that, not even those gorgeous blue eyes of his that had looked so very sad when you had seen him standing in the coffee-room silently, almost like he had been waiting to be sentenced to death or life in prison the least.

You ate the lunch quickly and then returned to work. Your colleagues tried to ask you various questions about James and the relationship between you two but you only shook your head and scoffed as an answer. No, you were not in the mood to talk about it, besides it was none of anyones business what was happening in your private life. Yeah, your private life that had become a little less private since you had started to seriously be seen with Michael all over London.

Yes, your co-workers had read the tabloids as well. They had seen the pictures of you and Michael, but they did not know the whole picture. At this point no one did! You and James had not been seen publicly and as far as the public knew, you were Michael’s girlfriend. You, honestly, did not know how you were supposed to explain the arrangement to anyone and you were afraid of the shit-storm that would surely follow if… no… when the yellow press found out about it.

Finally your day was done and you got to go home. You however decided to give James a chance to explain himself, to hopefully fix things and therefore you took a bus to the suburb where the bloody Scot lived. You got out from the bus and walked slowly forward, towards the familiar neighborhood. You could not tell if meeting James in the mental state your were in was even reasonable but you decided to amuse yourself by meeting him anyway. You thanked your luck that he did not live in an apartment building because you knew that you most likely would need to blow out some steam by shouting. You did not usually shout or throw anything but now you were reaching your boiling point.

To be honest, you liked to feel that angry because it was something very rare for you. You usually just bottled everything up until it was no longer an option and now… now you knew that you would explode. It was then a completely another thing if James was a man enough to handle it or not. You hoped that he was but there was no way of knowing because you had never had a major disagreement with him before.  
James opened the door for you before you even managed to knock. He had been standing at the window, stalking and staring nervously at the street and then he had seen you walking towards his house with slow steps as if the weight of the entire world had been on your shoulders. He thought that you must have been very busy at work and today was one of those days that you had taken plenty of shit from everyone, which meant only one thing; you were not going to take any shit from him.

Neither of you said anything when you stepped into the entrance hall of James’ house. You took off your jacket as well as your shoes and followed James into the kitchen. You leaned to the wall and crossed your arms as you focused your eyes at him. Somehow it made James look very small and undeserving. James noticed that you were clearly either evaluating him or waiting for him to say something. It made him feel challenged and small and for the first time he felt it in his bones that he had really fucked up.  
\- I am sorry, you know. he said but all he got from you was an angry glare and a bitterly amused scoff.  
\- I do not know what you want me to say… I screwed u-  
\- I do not think you even understand why I am so pissed off, do you? you asked with that same bitterly amused tone. You were seriously offended if James was unable to see your side of the story and obviously it was indeed the case. It annoyed you and made you feel frustrated beyond belief and this time you were not going to hide your feelings. Oh no, this time it was going to pour out and there was no holding back.

\- I do but… It was only one night, I did not even bring any women her-  
James said and shut up as soon as he saw the look on your face turning even more pissed off. He immediately realized what he had said and regretted it greatly. Not because it was making you even more pissed off but because he knew that it was not exactly the thing that he had wanted to say.  
\- Oh? Are you saying that I should congratulate you for not cheating on me? you stated and stared at James with a look that communicated clearly that you could not believe what you had just heard.  
\- Well… It is easy for you to say since you have Michael keeping you warm when I’m not here. James answered and then cursed himself again for saying such a stupid thing but since your state of pissed-off-ness was very contagious it made him blurt the following  
\- I am pretty sure that he called you-  
\- He actually did! you stated immediately. You knew that it was an effective way to hurt James; to point out that his friend was being so much better boyfriend and he was going to win your heart because all that James managed to do was to either piss you off or mess things up… and get you pissed off like that.

\- I knew it, that bastard! James shouted with a bitterly angry tone. There were a few things that he hated very much; the way he seemed to mess everything up all the time and that way make it easier for Michael to get your heart and also how efficiently Michael used those opportunities. James also hated the way you had learned to push the right buttons with; you knew exactly how to twist the knife to make him feel even worse.  
\- Well at least he cares! you shouted in return. Ah yes, that was one of those things that you could say knowing that it hurt James very much.  
\- And I do not? he asked.  
\- Well, According to last night, not so much! you stated with glare that was burning with everything but mercy and forgiveness.  
\- You know yourself that that is not true. I do care-  
\- Oh!? Well I am sorry I do not understand the way you show it. you said sarcastically. Yes, sarcasm, one of your daggers that you were not afraid to use. Your sarcasm was meant to hurt your opponent by making them feel stupid and small, and you succeeded famously in your efforts.

\- What about all those times you complained about Michael to me via Skype? Was I not there for you then? James asked. He was annoyed and frustrated that you just remembered the times when he was not there for you and conveniently forgot all those times when he had been there for you.  
\- Leave Michael out from this. you answered with emotionless tone. It was getting clear to James that if he made you choose now, you would choose Michael in a heartbeat. He had somehow worked his way under your skin and now everything what James did got compared to Michael and in James’ eyes, his friend had already won the challenge.  
\- Oh, because he so perfect? James commented with a mocking tone.  
\- Yeah! you shouted.  
\- I bet you would rather be with him right now than here with me. James stated.  
\- Maybe!  
\- Well go then! Shall I call Michael to pick you up? I am sure he would just love to be the knight in the shining armor again. That Irish bastard-  
\- Hey, watch it! you shouted and pointed at James sharply as a warning.  
\- Is it because he is taller? James asked. You could not believe your ears and said  
\- What?  
\- Is that the reason you like him more? James specified. He knew that the whole disagreement was getting out of hand and the things that you were now fighting about were completely irrelevant.

\- Gosh! How shallow do you think I am? you scoffed and walked into the living room.  
\- You’re the one who’s dating two famous guys-  
\- And one of them is a jerk! you shouted and turned to face the Scot that had followed you.  
\- Maybe you should leave the jerk then! he shouted back.  
\- Maybe I should! you yelled and threw a sofa-pillow on the floor. You continued arguing with James, shouting your lungs out and calling each other with names. Then at some point you moved from the living room into the entrance hall and started to put on your shoes as well as your jacket.

\- … but don’t you understand, James, that I missed you! Sure, Michael took a good care of me-  
\- I’m sure he did… James mumbled as he helplessly watched you buttoning your jacket and getting ready to leave the apartment.  
\- … but I missed you every day! I counted the days to your arrival! And that is the reason why it hurt me to see you rather go out with your friend than to spend the evening with me. It makes me wonder if our thing means to you as much as I had hoped. The only reason why I came here… why I still am here, is that I wanted to work it out. you continued and looked James one last time.  
\- What do you want me to do? he asked with cold, angry voice.  
\- Stop me from leaving. If you think that I am not worth the effort, then let me go. you answered, shifted your eyes away from his and swallowed your tears.  
\- And it will be the end of you and me? he asked with a broken tone.

You took your time to think about it for a few short moments and after taking a deep breath you sighed one simple “yes”. You saw a tear rolling on James’ cheek as you turned your back at him and placed your hand on the handle of the front door. You had not expected it to end like this, so easily, but a part of you suspected that maybe it was for the best. If your relationship with him did not last verbal fighting and was so easily broken, then maybe it was not worth of fighting for, maybe letting go was the right thing to do.

At that James walked to you, turned you around and pushed you against the door. You were about to say something but your words were muffled with hungry lips. James kissed you passionately and there was some certain level of desperation in his actions. No, he did not want to lose you and he certainly did not want you to leave. You searched the collar of his shirt and tangled your fingers in it so you were able to pull him closer. It however was not what James wanted so therefore he took your hands and locked them tightly against the door on the both sides of your head.  
***

He drew a little bit back and stared into your eyes intensely. The look on his face was pretty much the same as it had been when he had explored your body for the first time and you had been held still by Michael. When usually James appeared to you as the nice, fun guy from next door, the one that you were confident to present to your parents, now he had that bad-boy vibe going on and he was the dangerous guy that your mother always warned you about.

But at that moment it was exactly what you wanted since you had still adrenaline flowing freely in your bloodstream from the intense verbal battle. You had both insulted each other in the worst ways and threw sofa pillows at each other and it had scared you both. Neither of you really wanted to give up and quit the relationship but there did not seem to be any other way out… not until James had locked you between himself and the door, which had been your escape route but now was the back wall of your entrapment, the solid feature that had allowed James to capture you. However it was exactly what you had hoped him to do.  
He still stared deep into your eyes and he was still panting from the hungry kissing of just a moment ago. He had a dangerous but very alluring spark in his eyes and it made you feel like you had been prey that had been captured by a predator who knew that you had no place to run anymore. Therefore he took his time to watch you shivering, lips rosy and swollen from kissing, trembling as you waited him to decide what to do with you.

Seconds felt like an eternity as you submerged yourself helplessly into the deep blue depths of his eyes. Every breath, no matter how deep or shallow, echoed in your mind and the rest of the world stopped existing. You felt the cold seeping through the door and the warmth radiating from James’ body, he was so close, but he still kept his distance. Until finally he pressed his lips on yours again, this time he bit your lower lip gently which caused you to gasp for air. It hurt but just a little a bit, just a tiny bit and it dissolved immediately to the anticipation which was getting almost too great to handle. You tried to reach to kiss James’ lips again, but he pulled back and shook his head. That made you sigh out of frustration which amused James greatly. So much that he chuckled mischievously and teased you by nibbling your lip a couple of times more but every time when you tried to kiss him back, he pulled a little further away and tightened his grip on your wrists.

James removed his hands from your wrists but you kept still, you did not dare to move unless he told you to. He put his hands on the collar of your jacket and slid it off your shoulders with one, rather forceful motion. The jacket fell onto the floor at you feet, the high pitched sound of metallic buttons hitting the floor made of stone shook you out from your thoughts. The whole moment was almost like one big illusion, an enchantment which you did not want to break. 

\- Kneel. he said with an assertive tone. You had been staring at his lips but now you shifted your gaze back into his eyes. Those eyes were filled with need and lust unlike ever before. If you had not known better, you would have probably thought that someone had replaced the playful, sweet James with his evil twin brother who knew all the ways your pretty little mouth could satisfy his need for you. Normally you would have considered that look very rude but now it excited you strangely.

\- Go on, don’t keep me waiting. James said and flashed an impatient and mischievous smile. He stepped a little further away so you had space to kneel down for him. You got the message loud and clear and strangely enough, considering that only a moment ago you would have wanted to push him into a volcano or drag him onto the moon and leave him there all alone, that’s how pissed you were, you wanted to please the blue eyed man in front of you. Therefore you put your hands on his neck and caressed the skin with slow motions. You rubbed James’ lips with rather rough movements with your thumb and then traced down from his lips onto his chin and down across his throat with it. You added just enough of pressure to make it feel dangerous for him and as your hands slid onto his chest, you reached to kiss his neck.

You planted hot kisses on the sensitive skin of his neck, sometimes using your teeth and tongue, leaving red markings that faded away almost immediately but for a moment they were there, a visible proof of ownership. You slid your hands under his shirt and made him shiver since your hands were slightly cold. You used your nails and fingertips to caress his back and chest as you monitored his expressions and breathing curiously.  
James was getting frustrated. He reached to open the belt of his jeans as a sign for you. You lifted his shirt a little so you were able to explore and map his bare stomach with your lips, tongue and sometimes even with your teeth. If James wanted rough, you would give him rough. You would leave your mark, even just temporarily. Your hand reached under his jeans and you felt him over the fabric of his boxers. He was getting slightly aroused already although you had not even started yet.

You pulled his jeans lower and knelt down in front of him. You traced the outlines of his member with your hand, very gently which increased his frustration. It amused you because you had never seen him this impatient and filled with lust. It was more than obvious that he had missed you and having a physical connection, sexual intimacy with you, but more than anything, he had missed you. James supported himself to the door and followed your actions with hungry eyes. You traced his member with your lips and hummed with a low chuckle as you noticed how he reacted to your touch.

You traced the line of his boxers with your fingertips as well as the shape of his behind before pulling his boxers down a little. You did not want to pull them down completely because like this the whole thing had a different kind of vibe to it and you knew that there was plenty of time to be naked later. You freed James’ member and wrapped your hand around the shaft, gently at first and then firmly. James gasped for air and closed his eyes for a moment, but he just could not miss the show and therefore he just had to open his eyes again.

James sank his fingers into your hair and pulled them gently as he found a way to grab your locks in a firm but gentle way. He wanted to guide you, to be in control of your actions. He wanted to uses your mouth for his pleasure now because he had planned to tie you down to his bed and give it to you good this time. He guided you to take him into your mouth, not all the way at first because he wanted to give you time to get familiar with his flesh, however you resisted because you wanted to take your time with him, hoping that later he would take his time with you. You still kept him firmly in your hand and at the same time you caressed him with your tongue, sliding it up and down on his sensitive flesh, enjoying the familiar yet exciting taste.  
You found the sensitive spot right below the tip and teased it with the tip of your tongue, you pressed soft kisses on the entire member before finally letting him to slide himself into your hot, wet mouth. James was already fully aroused and ready to come, that was how well and skillfully you had teased and pleased him already but you were not going to let him come that easily. You slowed down your caresses, stopped sucking him and chucked inside your mind when your little tease was replied with a frustrated groan. How much James loved the way you drove him insane with need, he was not going to let you to tease him any longer.

\- I want to fuck your mouth. he groaned with a deep, low voice as he pulled your hair and forced you to look at him. You bit your lip and smiled a little. James positioned himself better and you placed your hands on his thighs. Like this he had the full control of the speed and the depth, he owned your mouth and you trusted him enough to let him do it.  
You felt his tip on your lips again and slowly he started to thrust his hard cock into your mouth again. He filled your entire mouth and when he had tested how deep you were able to take him, he pulled almost completely out and started move his hips back and forth with a slow pace at first and getting quicker as he got closer to his release. Then, quite soon, you tasted his hot seed and all you now had to do was to swallow it to the last drop. James’ moans and groans changed into heavy panting that subsided into deep breaths.

You enjoyed him to the last drop and then let him pull himself out from your mouth. He put his hand under your chin, guided you to look at him and then helped you to stand up. James kissed you immediately when you had stood up. He devoured your mouth and let his tongue dominate yours making your head spin. After he had left you breathless by kissing you in the most passionate and deepest way possible, you stepped out from your shoes quite effortlessly and followed James into his bedroom as he took your hand.

He closed the curtains and took something out from his drawer. “Handcuffs, are you serious?” you asked as you stared at him with an expression that communicated that you had not expected it at all. If someone enjoyed tying you up it was Michael, if someone liked it rough, it was Michael, but not James. James however knew that you had not expected him to do anything like this and it amused him greatly. He knew that you saw him as the cute, sweet guy from next door, the one that rented an amusement park for your date but this time, he wanted to be something a little bit different.

James smirked mischievously and walked to you. He put his hands on your waist and kissed you as his hands stroked your skin under your shirt. He opened the hooks of your bra very sneakily, without any problems at all and to be honest you did not even notice him doing it. He let his hands wander on your skin, sometimes massaging your muscles and sometimes just softly brushing the skin. He pulled the shirt off and for your surprise, he pulled your bra off at the same time. It made you swallow nervously. You were not nervous, kind of, but the look in James’ eyes, the ruthless determination was something that you had not seen from him before and it sent shivers down your spine and made your skin turn into Goosebumps… or maybe it was the cool air of the bedroom that greeted your bare skin all of a sudden.

James placed his hand on your neck and slowly slid it lower until it was cupping your breast. Without a warning he squeezed your nipple and made you moan and gasp for air right after. He traced the shape of your breasts as he stood right in front of you, close but still far enough to share his body heat with you. Finally he slid his other hand behind your back and pulled you closer so he was able to kiss your neck. He nibbled your earlobe and planted devouring kisses on the sensitive skin just under your ear. You listened to your own gasps that got mixed with the sound of James’ mischievous chuckles with your eyes closed as you enjoyed feeling him touching you, feeling your skin and learning again what drove you insane with need, and most importantly, what made you moan.

He nibbled your neck and then moved lower to kiss your breasts. He moved slowly but very assertively lower and encouraged you to bend your back a little so he had a full access to your breasts. You dropped your head backwards and arched your back so now your capability to stand up without losing your balance was entirely in James’ hands. He slid his tongue on your breast as his hand caressed the other breast. He took your nipple into your mouth, played with it using his tongue, nibbled it with his teeth softly and sometimes sucked it. When he was done with that breast, he changed the supportive hand and repeated it with your other breast.  
You caressed his shoulders and arms, sometimes ran your fingers through his hair and guided him to kiss you just the way you wanted; from the right places and with the right intensity. After he had caressed your breasts, he let you to stand up straight and gain you balance. He stepped a bit further away to take a long, good look at you. Your chest was heaving and there were light red marks decorating your breasts.

James pushed you onto the bed to lay against the pillows. He reached to take the handcuffs, which were made of silky material, and tied your hands to the bedpost with them. He tightened the ties so he knew that you were not able to escape, not that you wanted to because you really didn’t, there was no place else where you would have rather been than in James’ bed, all tied up, unable to hide or run from him. James crawled on top of you and again he had that same hungry, mischievous spark in his eyes. You stared into the blue, mysterious depths and dared to say nothing.  
You trusted James and he trusted you and it was the mutual trust and respect t that had led you to be tightly tied to his bed and demanded you to let him do everything and anything he wanted to do to you. James kissed you, softly at first and then deepening his kisses until there was no room and time to breathe or to think about anything else but him. He wanted you to forget about Michael and to focus your attention, your thoughts and your feelings to James, and to James only and according to your moans, he was succeeding famously.

He left your lips and moved to kiss your chest. He hurried lower because he wanted to taste you. He wanted to discover how aroused you were, how much you wanted him. He moved his hand on your bare stomach lower and without any warning he slid his hand under your skirt. He pressed his fingers against the fabric of your panties and monitored your reactions curiously. At this point you were feeling very ready and needy for him and tried to lift your hips so you would be able to get some, a little at least, friction to your most sensitive parts. This pleased James greatly because now he was absolutely certain that you were entirely his; mentally, physically and emotionally. You were present in the moment, the moment that you shared with him and nobody else.  
James rubbed his fingers against thin fabric of your panties. He was able to feel your arousal through the fabric and it encouraged him to slide his hand under it. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his skillful fingers tracing and stroking your lower lips under the fabric of your panties. He did not let his fingers wander off and he did not let you to move your hips to pleasure yourself against him.

It made you frustrated beyond belief. After a moment of sweet torture you were ready to beg him to touch you properly. James chuckled against the skin of your upper breast and told you to beg. He breathed hot air on your nipple and licked it quickly and softly. It sent shivers down your spine and increased your need, your need for him to touch you for real. James kept teasing you like this until you moaned his name and begged him to strip you naked.  
James slid your skirt easily to your ankles and removed your panties as well. He threw the unnecessary clothes on the floor but kept his on still. He liked the contrast of his fully clothed body hovering over your now completely naked one. After admiring all your curves he lifted your leg and planted a kiss on your ankle. He was on his knees between your legs, admiring the view while his other hand slid on the calf and to the inner thigh of the raised leg. He traced your outer lips without allowing himself to touch any further. However, he could not resist himself any longer so he moved his fingers to trace your inner lips, getting closer to your clit but still, he did not provide you any relief.

He got his finger slick and after finding a better position, he pressed one finger against your opening but he did not let it slide in even though you tried to move your hips, mostly involuntarily. You moaned loudly when he finally slid his finger inside you and started to rub your clit with his thumb. He pulled his finger out and smirked at you as you sighed out of frustration. Fortunately he slid two fingers in and continued caressing your clit. His actions were controlled and slow and he made sure that you did not come.

Then he lowered your leg back onto the bad and leaned to spread your legs open wide. He repositioned himself and then kissed your inner thigh a couple of times before kissing your sensitive flesh. After kissing you between your legs a couple of times very slowly, savoring every moan and move that you made, he started to pleasure you with his mouth as his fingers slid deep inside you over and over again, slowly at first and then with quickening pace. He brought you on the edge of your orgasm many times, just like you had done to him, and then finally when you begged him, he finally granted you with the sweet release. Your world went black as he kept caressing you as you twitched and shook under his touch.

You arched your back and collapsed then to the bed. James quickly removed his clothes because he did not want you to get down from your heights just yet. He did not want you to catch your breath either because the sight of you had made him hard again. He returned to kiss you and rubbed your pulsating, hot flesh with the tip of his member. You shook a little every time when he touched your clit but there was nothing that you could have done since your hands were still firmly tied to the bedpost. James positioned himself to your opening and slammed himself in without a warning. You gasped for air but he locked your lips and denied the precious oxygen from you.

James slid himself almost completely out and slammed himself completely in again. Then he started to move rhythmically until he started to pant and moan loudly. You could not think anymore since your mind was filled with the sounds of your own moans that got mixed with the low groans that James let out as he thrust himself deep into you with a rapid pace. Suddenly he stopped and pulled himself out from you. He grabbed a pillow and placed it under your ass. Then he lifted your feet and held your soles against his chest as he entered you again. This time he more like rocked against you and reached to caress your clit at the same time as he held your feet in place with his other hand.

You felt your orgasm getting nearer again and this time it felt almost too much to take. You had missed James, wanted him and needed him and then fought with him, almost broke up with him and now feeling him filling you up was almost as good as it could get. You sought support from the ties and anchored yourself to the bed as you let yourself go completely. The sight of you moaning uncontrollably, chest heaving and you accepting the release and giving yourself to it was very arousing to James. He quickened his pace because he wanted to reach his peak with you. He lowered your feet on the bed again and returned to kiss you. He wrapped his both arms around you as he thrust deep a couple of times before reaching his orgasm as well.

When he was completely done, he pulled out and rubbed your clit teasingly a couple of times. He also freed your hands from ties that had kept you on his mercy. He chuckled when he felt you shake a little under him, all sweaty and panting, just like him. Every time he touched your most sensitive areas, it felt like you had had a small electric shock to which you reacted with a chuckle. It made James chuckle as well and soon you were both just laughing side by side on the bed.

\- I think I love you. James said suddenly after the laughter had died and you both had calmed down. You froze and stared at the ceiling. After that revelation, you did not know if you even dared to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to Angel_Style and Pilvi  
> I hope you liked this :D
> 
> Next chapter is to Iris, stay tuned.


	27. Tags and floor camping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have two weeks of James.

So James was in love with you. He had just told you that but you did not know what to answer. So therefore you stayed silent and the silence grew longer. You knew that you could not just ignore it because you did not want to seem rude or inconsiderate. You liked James, you really did but the truth was that you were not in love with him. You had liked him a lot before he had left London over three weeks ago but then you had shared three wonderful weeks with Michael and although you had missed James and shared long video calls with him, you had come to care for Michael pretty deeply.

Then you had gotten offended by the fact that James had rather gone out than spend the evening with you… although you understood that it was not the end of the world. It just had felt like an insult at the time and since you had managed to build a connection with Michael, your tolerance for shit from James was very low. In your eyes you had a boyfriend who cared and it was not necessary for you to have two boyfriends, especially when the other one of them behaved so childishly.

You were aware that you had overreacted and the entire matter had gone out of hand. It had been like a snowball rolling down the hill, getting bigger and bigger finally reaching huge proportions. It had been partially due to your frustration and ego, yes, your ego had gotten hurt when James had chosen Michael over you and then you had slept poorly and you always became overly sensitive and emotional when you were tired… and as the cherry on the top you had wanted to fight.

The thing was that you very rarely engaged verbal fights because you were very flexible and you always tried to fix the problems instead of provoking conflict. It meant that you easily bottled everything up and smiled although you had been internally screaming. Then sometimes, not often at all, an opportune moment presented itself and you provoked yourself to fight. It was refreshing and exciting and if the other person did not give up, you did not want to be the one to lose the battle either… so you had both been kicking that snowball down the hill until you had both said too many things and taken the matter so far that it was beyond your reach. You had wanted to fight until the very end and James had gone with it.

He had been equally offended by the fact that he had said that he was sorry, he had even brought you flowers but still you had turned your back at him. He had wanted to see how far you were ready to go, how much or little he really mattered to you and if the thing between you two was worth of keeping alive. He was aware of all the cool things that you and Michael had done together and he was also aware that if he had made you choose, you would had chosen his friend. This had hurt his ego and he had been curious to see if you were ready to let him win the argument, just for the sake of saving things. However you had not.

So you both had been holding onto your egos and waited the other to surrender when what you had really wanted hear was that you had been missed and you were wanted. James had wanted to hear that too, he wanted and needed to you to show him that he was not less worthy than his friend and when he had been staring at you on the edge of giving up, he had understood that all you had wanted was to feel wanted and missed, just like he had wanted. You both had just been so blinded by your egos and pride that you had failed to see that, or the fact t that you both were just provoking each other, saying things that you knew to be hurtful.

It had been stupid but it had gone too far to just repair with a simple sorry, so James had decided to gamble. It was a simple “all or nothing” –situation and his gamble had paid off. You had hoped that he would push you against the wall and show you that he wanted you. You had needed James to just shut you up because you had gone too far. Besides fighting had filled your bloodstream with adrenaline and somehow the fighting had felt almost like long foreplay before the final solution; either slam the door and leave or…

Yes… “or”… the two extremities of the spectrum. You were glad that James had chosen to make you stay because you knew that you would have regretted leaving, although your ego would not have let you stay or say that you are sorry. Now however James had told you that he loved you, or at least he suspected that he did and you did not know what to reply. You wanted to be able to reply that you loved him too, but you would have been lying and you did not want to lie. But maybe a while lie was the best thing to do.

\- I love you too. you said but you were not sure if James believed you or not. Maybe he knew deep down that you had just said so because it was the only response that made sense and saved you from the embarrassing silence. After that neither of you said anything. You both stared at the ceiling until you got hungry. It was not that late yet so James suggested that he would cook you something and then you would watch a movie together.

The plan sounded very good to you so you got up from bed, took a quick shower together and got dressed. Neither of you bought the fight up and as far as you were concerned, the matter had been settled. James felt the same way and he was happy that he had made his feelings known. He did not expect you to love him but he appreciated that you had told him that you did, whether it was a white lie or not. What mattered the most was that you had not left because he knew that you could have easily rejected him, but you had not.

James seemed very happy when he prepared dinner. He kept dancing cheerfully and singing occasionally which made you chuckle. You offered to help him but he wanted you to just have a glass of wine and enjoy the show. So you did. You watched him performing almost as he had been in a cooking show that also included musical performances and using a spatula as his microphone. He sometimes pulled you to dance as well and held you tightly against his body. Then he led you back to the table where you had been watching him performing.

He kept flirting with you and joking about everything. You were sometimes left speechless because you had missed this “having” fun with him. Sure Michael was playful too and spending time with him had been lots of fun but it was different. He was different… maybe slightly more serious and thoughtful, swimming in the deeper waters some might say. With Michael you sometimes shared interesting philosophical discussions about the state of the world and so on and those could go on for hours, but with James it was more about laughs and giggles, which you enjoyed greatly as well.  
James served the food and you ate in the living room. It was getting late so he reasoned that it made more sense to eat there while watching the movie and get to bed earlier than to eat first and then watch the movie. You had to go to work tomorrow and he knew that you had not slept well last night for obvious reasons, so it meant that you really needed to get a long, good night sleep tonight. The dinner was very good and the movie was nice but more than anything you enjoyed the cuddling on the sofa.

You enjoyed the way James liked to run his fingers on your skin and draw random shapes on it without expecting you to return the favor. All he wanted you to do was to relax and enjoy being pampered. You listened to his calm breathing and breathed in the scent of his aftershave. The moment was so peaceful that you actually fell asleep. James did not notice it at first, only when he joked about the movie but did not get a response from you. He chuckled a bit, stopped the movie because he had seen it before and then woke you up. He managed to get you half-awake and walked you to the bed room. He helped you to get rid of the t-shirt that he had borrowed you because he knew that you rolled a lot and sleeping with a shirt that had only a small hole for your head was not pleasant for you; when you rolled in your sleep, the shirt got all twisted and made you feel like you had been suffocating. This he had learned about you when you had spent the first night with him.

James decided to take off his shirt as well so when you cuddled him in your sleep, he would be able to enjoy feeling your skin against his. He knew that you enjoyed it too so sleeping without shirts was the way to go. You laughed a bit as James pulled the shirt over your head because it got stuck for a moment. He did the undressing very slowly and caressed every bit of skin that he exposed. You were half asleep and smiled a little as the reality got mixed with the dream and other way around.  
James helped you to lay down on your back and crawled on top of you after pulling the covering blankets on you both. He kissed your lips which made you smile but you were too tired to kiss him back. He then buried his face into your neck and breathed the scent of your hair in before kissing your neck, which made you chuckle silently when he found the spot that was a bit ticklish. He moved to plan soft kisses on your collarbones and feminine curves which made you smile a little.  
He continued lower and kept breathing against your skin with an open mouth. You mumbled something but James only answered “shhh, just sleep” and continued his explorations. His fingers caressed your thighs and he slid your panties down, after which he repositioned himself and parted your legs gently, you were too tired to resist or object and to honest, you did not mind at all. He caressed the exposed skin with his fingers and finally with his mouth, while listening to your silent moans which turned into satisfied gasps.

After he had prolonged your pleasure and given you one more release, he returned by kissing his way up, the same way he had kissed his way down. He breathed against your chest that was still heaving rapidly, slowly returning to the normal relaxed rhythm and pressed his ear against your heart. James enjoyed the sound of your heart beating like a drum against your rib-cage because he knew that he had made it racing so. He pressed one more kiss on your lips and then slid his arm behind your back. You rolled on your side and snuggled closer as a reaction. You were already asleep and soon after you James fell asleep as well. 

In the morning James woke you up. He had put the alarm just in case you had forgotten and fortunately so because you had not remembered to set it. You ate breakfast together and James gave you a ride to your workplace. You agreed to meet after work and go to the cinema to see a new comedy that had gotten quite nice reviews. The days passed like this and by spending time with James you got closer to him emotionally. However during the weekdays you did not have too much time to spend with him but you made the most of the couple of hours that you had. 

During the first weekend, on the Saturday evening, you went to the party that your boss arranged at his own house. James escorted you there and he managed to turn the boring business dinner into a rather pleasant one. You had not planned to invite James at first but he had convinced you to take him with you. The reason you had been nervous to take him with you, was the fact that your colleagues knew that you were dating Michael, but they had no idea of the arrangement and now you were going to present James as your boyfriend. There were a few persons who asked you about this “little funny thing”, as they were wondering whether you were cheating on Michael, but James managed to turn their questions into different direction and the evening went pretty well. The only thing that bothered you was the way James always turned everything into a joke. Sure it was refreshing for your boss and other guests, but you were getting slightly tired of how he did not seem to take anything too seriously. But overall… the night was a success and everyone enjoyed themselves.

Then the second weekend came and James surprised you by telling you that he had actually rented a place where you were able to play laser tag for two hours. He had heard you talking about the sport many times and he knew that you had seen videos on Youtube. Therefore he thought that this was the perfect way to surprise you after a long week at work. You did not know what to say at first. You just stared at him with a surprised expression on your face and for a moment James was afraid that you were not interested about the game after all. Maybe he had misunderstood you.

But then a smile had spread on your face and it was obvious that you were more than excited about the activity. James had picked you up from home but he had only told you to take your indoor sports shoes with you. Then he had driven you to a shady –looking neighborhood and parked in front of a building that looked like a warehouse. You had got off the car and just before you had followed James in, he had told you what this place was. Then he had waited for your response and finally you had started to smile widely. You followed James in and changed your shoes. You both put on the gear and the employee explained how the laser gun worked. First 60 minutes you played by yourselves, you versus James, but then, after a break, the second half you and James teamed up to play against a couple of employees. 

The playing arena was like a big maze with uv-light reactive decorations and there was loud music echoing everywhere. Your heart was racing as you ran in the maze. It was obvious that James had played games like this before and he got you many times. He sometimes sneaked on you and instead of shooting you, he pushed you against the wall and kissed you passionately, after which he ran away leaving you with a spinning head and clouded thoughts.

Then it was time to partner up with him. You came up with a sneaky plan and together you were able to take the victory over the employees easily. You ran after James and followed his example like a true commando in a miniskirt. The best part of the entire experience was the adrenaline rush that you got from running and sneaking around. You loved the way how James took the game very seriously and made you feel like you had been part of some highly secret mission.  
Those two hours were the quickest of your life but when you left the place, you noticed that you were quite exhausted. You had been laughing, running, sneaking, jumping and getting high on the adrenaline for the entire time and now that the adrenaline was leaving your system, you felt the crash of exhaustion getting nearer. You however were not ready to give yourself to it, not just yet. You wanted to take advantage of the excitement and asked James to drive to a dark side alley.

You told James to move to the backseat as you unfastened your seatbelt. You had never been this spontaneous before but the truth was that all that running around combined with deep kisses had left you hot and bothered. You followed him to the backseat of the car and sat on his lap facing him. You caressed his neck as you caressed him through his jeans while engaging his lips into a heated kiss. James reached to caress your thighs and slid your skirt up. He was greeted with bare skin. You had indeed taken off your panties before leaving the laser tag –arena and now James was caressing you with hungry motions. You felt that he had gotten aroused so you opened his zipper, helped him to pull his jeans as well as boxers lower and let him slide slowly deeper.

James kept kissing you and touching you as you rocked yourself against him. You both were panting and moaning against each other’s necks, increasing the pace as well as the intensity until you felt a sweet release taking over your body. James slid his hands under your shirt and searched your waist. He kept helping you to move through your own pleasure, in which you had sunken, deep into the warm, tingly feeling. Soon after also James reached his peak and slowed down his actions. You reached to kiss him once more and muffled his gasps. The lack of air was making his head spin but he could not get enough of your sweet, swollen lips.

His lips were tightly locked with yours and slowly the deep, hungry kisses subsided into gentle ones which changed slowly into soft brushes and small nibbles. You cupped James’ face and brushed his nose with yours playfully a couple of times. You stayed close and opened your eyes. It was dark but you could still see the mesmerized look on James face as well as the spark in his eyes. “I want to see you come” he whispered and moved his hand to caress your sensitive regions. This time he did not kiss you but stared deep into your eyes as he provided with one more release, just to make sure that you had received pleasure from the experience. You smiled at him as his fingers served you skillfully until you were moaning again and clenching around his flesh. After your breathing had calmed down, you still embraced each other for a moment and then continued driving home.

On your way home James stopped by a Nepalese restaurant and bought plenty of stuff to eat at home. You did not leave the car because hair was somewhat messed up from the quick backseat session and you were afraid that the employees at the restaurant would get some ideas of why your skirt was all wrinkled and hair messed up. James returned after a moment with many takeaway containers and the delicious scent of food filled the car.  
After reaching home you took a quick shower together, made a camp on the living room floor with pillows and blankets and had a picnic. You ate slowly, laughed a lot and finally, after collecting the leftovers to the fridge, you returned to snuggle to your camp. You kept rolling, playfully wrestling and kissing until it was late night again. It had been an awesome day and it was almost a shame to end it. However you knew that tomorrow was another day, filled with opportunities and suddenly it did not feel sad to go to sleep.

The sleep however did not come because when James turned off the lights, you started to think about your relationship with him. You had been spending almost two full weeks with him and soon it was time to change the boyfriend. The thing that bothered you was that you never had deep conversations with James. There were plenty of laughter and playful moments, but you never talked about anything that would challenge you to think and come up with valid arguments.

This made you wonder if James wanted to just play with you or to spend time with you while waiting to meet the one whom he felt comfortable to be serious with or if he did not have any opinions about great matters. You were hungry for deep conversations at least every once in a while but with James you had never shared one, unlike with Michael. You stared into the darkness and sighed, unaware that James was still awake. He took your sigh as a sign that you wanted to talk about something but did not know how to start, or maybe something was troubling you but you did not feel comfortable of speaking about it with him.

\- (Y/N)? he said with a low voice, just in case you were asleep and he had been wrong. He did not want to wake you up but he wanted you to tell him what was bothering you, in case he had interpreted your sigh correctly.  
\- Yeah? you answered. You bit your lip and cursed yourself for sighing so loudly. Your idea had not been to start the conversation right here, right now because now it was time to get some sleep.  
\- Can’t sleep? he asked. You took a deep breath and replied “no”.  
\- Something bothering you? James asked. He knew that he had only one day before the switch and if there was something bothering you, he wanted to know about it.  
\- No… yes… It’s just… just… you stammered as you struggled with putting your thoughts into words. You did not want to sound like an elitist or someone who was very serious, the last thing you wanted to do was to insult James who had been the best boyfriend possible during these two weeks… but there was just that one thing that did not leave you alone.  
\- You know that you can tell me anything, right? James asked or stated. His tone was supporting and encouraging and it gave you the needed push to share your thoughts with him.  
\- I was just wondering… because we never share deep conversations about… things… you began.  
-Oh? James commented. He did not really know where this was leading but he decided not to get offended or snap, whatever it was.

\- So I just… Don’t get me wrong… You are wonderful and I’ve had so much fun with you… like today for example… but… you said and hesitated. However you decided to say what you had to say, otherwise it would stay on your shoulders haunting you, shadowing your mind and pushing you down.  
\- …do you take life seriously? you asked after hesitating for a moment. James stared into the darkness and tried to understand what you meant.  
\- What do you mean? he asked.  
\- We never talk about anything… serious. you answered and listened to the silence that followed. James went through his dates with you and realized that he had been mostly only fooling around and joking with you.  
\- Never mind… you said and wished him good night. James did not know what to answer. All he could now think were all the meaningful and sophisticated discussions that you had had with Michael. James knew that he liked to have those as well but for some reason he had not gotten there with you yet. His public image was build around a “funny, easygoing Scotsman, who did not take things too seriously” and he now understood that he had not let you to see the more serious side of him. He wished you good night and decided that in order to win you on his side, he had to show you the hidden part of himself, otherwise he would surely lose the game and after spending these two weeks with you, he was now more sure than ever before that he did not want that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Iris, I hope you liked it.
> 
> And sorry for a bit smutty fluff... it really was not smutty enough for a smut-warning but... I hope no one got traumatized.
> 
> \- Venla :)


	28. Cracks, confusion and little liars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes and the constant rivalry between Michael and James starts to affect their friendship.

You liked them both, there was no way to deny it, but you were not in love with either of them. The whole arrangement –thing stirred quite mixed and conflicted feelings about your situation and the best way to cope was to forget about the other guy while you were with the other, try at least. It was sometimes hard because you kept involuntarily comparing James and Michael with each other and you knew that it was somewhat unfair since they were two completely different people with different strengths and weaknesses.

Weeks rolled by and you kept dating with both of them, a week with Michael and then a week with James. Sometimes there were weeks that both of them were traveling and during those weeks you felt somewhat free but also lonely… but also very free. It was relaxing to be on your own occasionally because every time you were moving outside with either of the guys, there were paparazzi photographers trying to capture your private moments for the entire world to see.

You never complained of course because you had known what you were getting yourself into when you had agreed to go with it but sometimes you missed your old uncomplicated life. You missed the time when you had only answered to yourself and no one else, when you had been able to arrange your schedule according to your own wishes, unlike now when you always had to take the guys into consideration. Yes, the guys and their careers.

Then again you had always plenty of fun when you were spending time with James or Michael and you had gotten so much from them; never before you had felt so desired and cared for, especially when most of the people had only one guy making them feel special, you had two and they were still competing with each other. Yes that… You had hoped that they would stop it when the situation got normal and the arrangement stroke root, but instead of settling, the guys insisted on trying to win your heart by being a little bit better than the other one.

Sure you appreciated the gesture and the honest truth was that you enjoyed being pampered but you knew that the competition was affecting the friendship between Michael and James, even though neither of them admitted it. You however knew. It was obvious and it got even more obvious as the weeks turned into months and suddenly you had been dating both of them for almost a year. The thing was however that although you shared wonderful times with both of them, you did not let yourself fall in love with either of the guys.

Why?

Because in a way you were unconsciously afraid that something would happen and you would end up losing them both. You were painfully aware that when the guys were away filming movies, they were surrounded by beautiful women and you, although you never admitted it even to yourself, were somewhat preparing yourself for the moment when it would end. You knew that it was unfair because both, James and Michael were extremely considerate and even when they were gone for long time, they kept in touch just like you were their real girlfriend, exclusively.

The year had passed very quickly. You had been so caught up with the whole thing and trying to keep your head above the water that you had basically missed the seasons changing and time slipping away. When you were with James, you were unconsciously thinking about Michael and avoiding to slip his name accidentally and when you were with Michael, it was the same thing and a couple of times you ended up calling Michael “James” and he was not too pleased about it. The old Michael most likely would have laughed about it but you knew that the constant rivalry was causing problems in their friendship. And you were right.

This was something that the guys never admitted to themselves or anyone else either but you knew that it was happening. When previously they had been spending quite a lot time with each other, now they were not. When you watched their interviews on Youtube, you could see the change; they used to be almost like brothers, now they were more like awkward friends who tried so hard to act the way they had been before. You read the comments that had been posted by the fans and you noticed that you were not the only one who had seen this change.

Some of the fans blamed stress, some blamed the woman who was cheating them both… yeah, you were that woman. Either of the guys had not explained the situation to the yellow press, which you on the other hand understood, but then again there were very imaginative headlines sometimes about how the woman was dating Michael but still seen with James and the other way around and every time someone asked the guys to comment, they just refused explaining anything.

You understood why that was but you hated the way you were blamed for the obvious hardships in their friendship and some fans even hoped that something terrible would happen to you. What was lucky though was that during the times when you were alone, the press did not really care about you because in their eyes you were only interesting when you were hanging out with either of the guys, otherwise you were as relevant as any other nobody. 

You watched the old videos of James and Michael laughing together, joking, fooling around and being adorable and then you watched the newer ones where they were less comfortable with each other especially when the interviewer tried to ask some questions about their personal lives. The worst part was that you knew that the guys missed each other. They both missed the friendship and therefore you had even suggested that they would go out together sometimes or do something… like they had before they had met you.

They both always came up with excuses why it was not a good idea and finally you had stopped trying. You had even suggested that you, all three, would go out together or have a relaxing evening at someones place with dinner and some wine, conversation and… anything! You were ready to even engage yourself into a threesome again if that was what it took to fix it, although the idea was both intriguing as well as awkward for you, but you were basically ready to do anything, no matter how unorthodox it was.

The guys both kept avoiding the subject until the situation got so bad that Michael stormed out from an interview during the new X-men –movie promo tour. It was bad, very bad publicity and very bad for you too because this was the time when the yellow press started to get interested about you and your part in the whole thing. All this stress made falling in love very difficult and you had been actually thinking about just giving up. You had after all said in the beginning that if it got weird or started to ruin friendships, you would end it.

James stayed in the interview until the end and then went to talk with Michael who was again acting like everything was cool, but James knew that they, as friends, were falling apart and it could not continue. The problem had to be faced and it had to be faced right now. He knew that they still had 30 minutes to the next interview and it was now or never. The situation had gone too far already and James knew that if he did not say anything, they would soon be beyond the point of being unable to fix it.

\- Hey mate! James said and entered the backroom. Michael was standing a little bit further, leaning onto a coffee table and trying to calm his nerves. He inhaled and exhaled slowly a couple of times and it was obvious that there was somewhat hostile tension in the small room. Finally he relaxed his shoulders, turned around and said  
\- Hi. Sorry, that was-  
\- Yes it was, Michael, and we need to talk about it. James commented and sighed. He closed the door and walked to the table, sat down and waited Michael to say something. James kept silent and staring in a demanding way at his friend who then groaned and put his hands into his pockets.  
\- Come on, James, there is nothing to talk about! Michael exclaimed and walked in the room somewhat nervously. He insisted on keeping his hands in the pockets of his jeans because he was afraid that he would seem more nervous than he actually was if he let his hands swing around since they seemed to have a mind of their own. Michael did not want to irritate James by being too theatrical. 

\- Right, well you might be able to convince yourself that but I know that we are not the same anymore. James stated and slammed his hand against the surface of the table firmly. The gesture made Michael stop and take a deep breath. He took his hands out from his pockets and folded his arms instead as he leaned to a small kitchen counter that was at the back wall of the small coffee room. James kept staring at him which was very annoying. Therefore Michael mumbled  
\- Well yeah, we are dating the same girl. It was pretty obvious that it would cause some disturbance but I guess we’re handling it pretty well, considering-  
\- Considering what, Michael? This competition between us has basically ruined our friendship! James exclaimed and stood up. He was frustrated and sitting still was no option anymore.  
\- Are you suggesting that I should give up? Michael snapped.  
\- What? Did I say that? James exclaimed with a tone that communicated that he did not really believe his ears.

\- Between the lines, mate! Michael shouted and emphasized ironically the word “mate”, to which James gestured him to keep his voice down.  
\- You think that she likes you more than me? Michael mumbled.  
\- No, I am saying that we should stop competing because (Y/N) clearly likes us both and I think she will never fall in love with either of us if we, that is you and me, Michael, cannot find some kind of balance. James reasoned and tried to keep his voice calm. He only wanted to work things out and not make things even worse.  
\- So in other words you’re saying that I should just let you take her? I knew it! You and your Scottish charm. Michael scoffed with mocking tone.

\- Michael! You are not listening! I am saying that in order to either of us continue this arrangement we must change! I am not saying that you should give up and I am definitely not saying that I am giving up, but we must fix our friendship! James pleaded and walked in front of the door because Michael looked like he was ready to walk out from the room. Michael rolled his eyes and snapped instantly  
\- You’re not my friend, James! You’re just some bastard who keeps dating my girlfriend-  
James scoffed as he was about to leave the room, Michael said “wait” and apologized for that. He was just stressed about the interviews and felt that it was too consuming to act like everything was alright. However after clearing some air, the guys managed to talk about things and came up with an agreement that from now on they would not compete anymore and they would even start hanging out together every once in a while, where there was time to do so. They also agreed that it was crucial to make it work between them two in order to make it work between you three and the bottom line was that they both liked dating you and they both had fallen in love with you.

The only problem was that they both had noticed that you did not love either one of them, which had made both of them try harder, which had basically caused the whole situation to boil over. They knew that in the beginning you had been falling in love with them, in different ways of course because Michael and James were two different people and their personas were also different from each other, but then you had stopped at some point and it had made them both somewhat sad.  
You had started to stress about their friendship and blame yourself for ruining it although you never admitted it to anyone. You had started to think more with your brain than with your heart and deal with things rationally instead of just going with the flow and letting your heart steer you. No, you had tucked your heart away, hid it somewhere behind the closed doors and concentrated on liking them both but loving neither.

\- This has to stop. Michael stated with a firm tone. They both had moved to sit by the table and now they were able to discuss about the situation in an adult –way.  
\- Yes. It is not fair for you, mate, and it is not fair for (Y/N) either. James stated and shook his head as he sighed.  
\- Or you, James. Michael added. James sighed “yeah” with barely audible voice.  
\- We both love (Y/N) and we cannot watch her getting torn in two while she tries to patch things up between me and you. Michael stated with a firm tone. James agreed and nodded a couple of times.  
\- Then there is the yellow press –problem… he added.  
\- True. Michael stated and rubbed his chin. The break was almost over but the guys managed to come up with a plan how to tell about the relationship but still kind of protect their public image. They hugged once, which they had not done for a long time and then went into the room where the interview was going to take place. They sat down and the interviewer entered the room.

She asked many questions about the new X-men movie and how it was filming it. James and Michael managed to find their groove back and the interview turned out to be plenty of fun. The guys kept joking and laughing together, telling funny stories about things that had happened during the filming at the movie set and how they had kept playing pranks and having a good time while filming. Okay, some of it was just “movie talk” because filming had been different since there had been serious problems between the two guys but the entertainment news did not have to know all the dirty details.  
\- So… I know this is not a subject that either of you have been commenting but you both have been seen with the same woman. Is there a story behind that? the interviewer asked curiously.

\- Actually, it is a funny story. James begun and smirked at Michael.  
\- Yeah, it really is. Michael chuckled and winked his eye. The interviewer chuckled and asked  
\- Would you like to share with us? You must be aware of the speculations-  
\- Yeah, yeah… that she is cheating on me with James and other way around. Michael joked and laughed.  
\- Yes, the yellow press has been extremely imaginative about it. It is a surprise that they have not written about us cheating on her together. James added and laughed very loudly. Michael laughed as well and the interviewer got confused.  
\- So… Excuse me… What? she said and smiled awkwardly.  
\- We are dating the same girl. James said suddenly.  
\- Really? she asked with a surprised tone. Apparently the truth was much juicier that any of the speculations.

\- Come on, it cannot come as a big surprise, can it? James stated and put his hand on Michaels shoulder, who then flashed a wide smile.  
\- I guess you’re right… So how did this happen? the interviewer asked and tried to hide her confusion.  
\- What do you mean? Michael asked.  
\- Well, you two are very good friends but I do not think that anyone assumed you to share a girlfriend as well. she said and shifted herself in her chair.  
\- You know, me and my mate share everything! James exclaimed.  
\- Ha-ha! Michael chuckled and added “indeed”.  
\- So how… the interviewer asked again.  
\- Quite simple-

Michael said and paused for a moment. He knew that if you ever found out about this what he was about to say, you would most likely kick their asses or worse yet, tell the guys to get lost. Michael knew that you would hate it if they lied to the press and give a false image of you to them. He weighted his options. They had agreed with James that this was the thing that they would say as a half-joke but say nevertheless. James looked at his friend with a slight hesitation in his eyes but in that moment neither of them knew what else to say, so James continued  
\- She met us after a talk show a year ago and fell instantly in love with both of us.  
\- Uh-huh? the interviewer commented with a suspicious tone. James smirked and answered.  
\- She was unable to choose between us and then she begged-  
\- Begged? the interviewer asked.  
\- Yeah... She begged us both to date her. James explained.  
\- Yep, and we said “yes”. Michael added and smiled widely at the camera. He knew that if you saw that interview, they would be screwed big time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Caity as a thank-you for your comment!
> 
> I hope you liked this!
> 
> \- Venla :)


	29. Who said what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... the interview goes online and it doesnt take long...

\- (Y/N)!  
you turned as you heard your name being called. When you did you saw a man with a professional looking camera and long coat crossing the street to get to you. You sighed because it was obvious that it was a paparazzi. You had been lucky that the gossip journalists had not been interested about you and this was actually the first time for a long-ass time that anyone even tried to get a comment for you. You rolled your eyes and continued walking towards your apartment building.  
\- Can I have a comment? the journalist asked. You stopped and smirked at the man which made you look annoyed. Usually that face worked but not this time.  
\- About what? you asked with a frustrated tone.  
\- The interview! he exclaimed. You looked at the man with a confused look on your face. You had no idea what he was talking about.  
\- Which one? you asked with a mocking tone. Well it was obvious that there were basically countless interviews and it was impossible for you to miraculously just know which one was the exact one that the interviewer was talking about.  
\- The one where they said that they both date you. the man stated and took his phone off his pocket and opened the voice recording app. You chuckled, apparently it was now public information so you stated  
\- Am I supposed to be surprised? I mean I have been in a relationship with them for 11 months!  
\- Huh? the man asked.  
\- Yeah, so what’s your point? you asked and tried to sound like it was no big deal. The man cleared his throat and said  
\- So you confirm that you fell in love with both and begged them to date you-  
\- Do I… what? you scoffed and rolled your eyes as you took a better grip of your grocery-bag.  
\- …so you did not have to choose between them. the man spoke, ignoring your interruption.

\- Excuse me? you asked and stared at him like a deer in the headlights.  
\- Is that what happened? he asked. He was not going to let you go without getting a comment.  
\- I am quite sure that you have misunderstood. I have not seen this interview that you are referring to but I can assure you that whatever either of the guys, James or Michael, have said, they have not said that. you stated with a loud tone, making sure that he got that recorded loud and clear. The man looked confused and surprised for a moment and said  
\- But-  
\- So please, check your source material and then and only then when you actually know what you’re talking about, come and ask for my comment. you said with a firm, yet slightly annoyed tone. The man shook his head and turned off the recording app.  
\- Very well. You can find the interview on the E entertainment news -web page. he stated and put the phone into his pocket. It was clear that you had not seen the video and his claims had upset you. This made him suspect that the guys were not telling the truth, not entirely at least.  
\- What makes you think that I am even interested? I don’t follow entertainment news for a reason and the reason is exactly this! It is complete and utter crap! you stated loudly and glared at the man. He raised his hands a little and gestured that he did not want to fight. Then he commented  
\- I can see you are upset-  
\- I am not upset! I just hate when people publish stories that are not true! you scoffed. For a moment the man felt sorry for you. Professionally he was very excited about drama like this but in the personal level he was worried for your reaction and how you would take what the guys had said. Either way, you had the right to know.  
\- Just check the video. he commented. He sighed and then offered you his business card.  
\- Here is my card. If you wish to make a public statement-  
\- Why would I want-  
\- Just take it. he said with a sincere tone. You took the card and put it into your pocket, groaned and went in. 

After taking off your jacket as well as your shoes you put your groceries into the fridge and sat down by the dining table for a moment. You took your phone and unlocked the screen, opened the browser and typed “E entertainment news” to Google search. Instantly you got many results and the first one was the link to the E Entertainment news –homepage.  
You did not want to go there. You did not want to be the person who cared about the gossips and rumors, entertainment news and paparazzi pictures and therefore you put the phone on the table and decided to prepare dinner instead. You sighed as you got up and walked into the kitchen, took a bag of potatoes from the fridge and started to peel them. When you were done with the potatoes, you sliced them in hefty pieces and put them into a pot. You took some carrots and repeated the washing-slicing actions, put some water into the pot and turned on the stove.  
When you had cleared your cutting board, you took out a fish fillet and cut it into pieces. You were going to make a fish soup because it had been a while since you had made it the last time. You added some other vegetables, spices, cream and fish into the pot and let it boil with medium temperature. Then you decided to roast some croutons for the soup because you had some “old” bread in the bread basket. However every time you stopped your chores your thoughts slipped back to what the man had said.

Therefore you got your phone and unlocked the screen again, opened the browser and tapped the link. You were taken to the front page of the notorious gossip –site and there it was, a video of an interview with Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy. You put the phone away again and went to stir the soup. You tasted it and added some dill as well as salt until the taste pleased you. You kept fighting your curiosity but then… then it took over and you couldn’t stop yourself.  
The beginning of the video was just like any other interview. You however noticed immediately that James and Michael had clearly managed to talk because they were joking and laughing, playfully fooling around, just like they had before. You were pleased, very pleased indeed, to see this because you had been so stressed out about their friendship and you had not felt like yourself for a long time; you had been making plan B’s and C’s all the way to H for a couple of months already, just because the relationship… drama… triangle… whatever… had not felt “right” for some time already. 

You kept smiling at the screen, thinking how maybe now things would get better and you would dare to fall finally in love with the guys, like you had been falling in the beginning. You did not even mind that the interviewer was asking about the relationship and you laughed at the guys answer, how they joked about them cheating on you and so on. You paused the video so you could gather your thoughts; finally you were their girlfriend officially and there was no room for speculations about who is cheating on who. It made you so happy and then you continued watching the video.  
\- So how did this happen? the interviewer asked. You laughed at her because she looked so confused.  
\- What do you mean? Michael asked.  
\- Oh come on, Michael! That is a simple question! you stated aloud and rolled your eyes at the screen. The interviewer said something about James and Michael being good friends but no one really expecting them to share a girlfriend.  
\- Friends share… you commented mimicking Michaels accent as you listened James stating how he and his friend indeed share everything. If only the interviewer just knew… all the drama, all the conflicts and disagreements that had to be ironed out to get into this point. You stared at the screen as you waited Michael to say something, but he looked a little bit hesitant which made you feel unease somehow. Then suddenly your soup was boiling almost over and you had to put the phone on the table and rush into the kitchen. You however did not pause the video so the interview became part of the background noise.  
You heard James stating that you had fallen in love with them both instantly and then continuing that you were unable to choose between the guys so you begged them both to date you. Then you heard Michael agreeing with James. You stopped stirring the soup and put the spoon on the kitchen counter, next to the stove. You chuckled at first as you had a hard time to decide if you had actually heard right and if you had heard right, if you had understood right.

The interview went on and the topic changed back to movies and their careers. You turned the stove off and kept staring at the bubbles that kept rising to the surface of the fish soup. Then you recoiled from your thoughts and rushed back to your phone, unlocked the screen and jumped backwards in the video. They were talking about the movie-blaahblaahblaah-and then “actually it is a funny story”. You stared at the screen and begged that you had heard wrong.  
\- Yeah, it really is. Michael commented, accompanied with a chuckle and winking his eye. The interviewer asked immediately  
\- Would you like to share with us? You must be aware of the speculations-  
\- Yeah, yeah… that she is cheating on me with James and other way around. Michael joked and laughed. You kept staring at the screen nervously.  
\- Yes, the yellow press has been extremely imaginative about it. It is a surprise that they have not written about us cheating on her together. James added and laughed very loudly. The interviewer looked very confused and the guys kept laughing.  
\- So… Excuse me… What? the interviewer asked with an awkward smile on her face. You rubbed your chin nervously and watched James answering  
\- We are dating the same girl.  
\- Really? she asked with a surprised tone. It was easy to see that the interviewer was surprised but also very pleased with this new information because it meant that there could be plenty of juicy gossips in the future too.

\- Come on, it cannot come as a big surprise, can it? James stated and put his hand on Michaels shoulder, who then flashed a wide smile. You liked that smile but now you were too nervous to appreciate it. You had heard something very alarming and now you wanted to know if you had actually heard as well as understood right.  
\- I guess you’re right… So how did this happen? the interviewer asked, she was apparently confused but tried her best to appear professional and not confused at all.  
\- What do you mean? Michael asked. “Again, Michael, an easy question” you thought.  
\- Well, you two are very good friends but I do not thing that anyone assumed you to share a girlfriend as well. the interviewer said but this was something that you had seen already.  
\- You know, me and my mate share everything! James exclaimed. “Yes, if only you knew” you thought.  
\- Ha-ha! Michael chuckled and added “indeed”. You chuckled nervously and paused the video. You knew that the part of the interview that you had not seen but only heard from a distance, highly disturbed was about to come so you took a deep breath and hit the play-icon again.  
\- So how… the interviewer asked. She clearly wanted to get a juicy story. Michael began by saying  
\- Quite simple-  
Then there was that small disturbing silence, moment of hesitation and James continued.

\- She met us after a talk show a year ago and fell instantly in love with both of us. “Uh-huh?” the interviewer commented. Her tone was suspicious to which James answered with a smirk and then continued  
\- She was unable to choose between us and then she begged-  
\- Begged? the interviewer specified. “Oh shit” you thought as you stared at the screen with disbelief.  
\- Yeah... She begged us both to date her. James explained.  
\- I did not! you exclaimed and then listened to Michael agreeing with his friend and stared at his wide smile.  
\- Oh, that is very sweet of you! the interviewer said and made an “awwww” sound. You covered your mouth and decided to listen a little further before watching the video again.  
\- Well, you know, we are nice people. Sure it is rather unusual situation but we did not want to break her heart. James said.  
\- And (Y/N) is an amazing person… Me and James are friends so it is no big deal for us. Michael added.  
\- Oh, okay… So how does that actually work? the interviewer asked and then you listened James and Michael both explaining the week-week –arrangement and how they just wanted what was best for you. You listened them saying how they were now closer than ever and you all three were so happy about the arrangement and although they had been suspicious the entire thing at first, they had decided to give it a chance and it had turned out alright. Michael then stated with firm tone  
\- I said that if it gets weird-  
\- Or ruins our friendship. James added, put his hand on Michaels knee and squeezed it in a friendly way.  
\- …it’s off… But almost a year has passed and we are still here. Michael said.  
Then the conversation got back to the future projects and the careers of the two actors until an assistant came into the room and signaled that time was up. The interviewer shook hands with both of the guys and thanked for the interview. End of video.

You watched the second half of the interview twice and then put your phone on the table. You couldn’t believe your ears; sure the truth was not very flattering for the guys but did neither of them stop to think how it would affect you when they lied like that? Did you not matter because you were not a famous person? On the other hand you understood the reasoning behind the betrayal but then again, the guys had surely known that this might happen and they would have to face the consequences. You were not the one who had begged! No, you had been basically seduced into it and you were the one who had said that you would end the entire relationship with both of them if it got weird or affected the friendship between Michael and James.  
But you had not ended it even though the situation had been somewhat weird every once in a while. Besides you had not fallen in love with the guys instantly, yeah, another lie! You liked them both very much and you had been on your way to fall in love with them but since they had been competing all the time and sometimes away for many… many weeks… you had fallen out of “falling in love” and left with doubts, worries, stress and other conflicted feelings.

It was unfair. It was so unfair because you were absolutely certain that there were other ways, which surely were way better than lying, to share the news about the real state of the situation… the arrangement… with the public. Surely they could have said that it was agreed together, but no. They had chosen to polish their own public imago by appearing as the saints who did not want to make their fan to choose because she had begged them not to.  
So basically while the guys were knights in shining armors, saving helpless fan girls from heartbreak and difficult decisions, you were the perverted Michael/James –addict who had begged them to engage this very unorthodox arrangement. “So yeah, thank you so very much Michael and James!” you shouted at your apartment and groaned. Then suddenly you remembered the card that the paparazzi had given to you. Would you have your revenge and set things straight or would you try to “be cool with it”?

One thing was for certain at least; you did not want to see or hear from the guys. You had taken plenty of shit from both of them, although there had been countless of good times as well, but the reality was that those moments seemed very far away in the past now… especially since both of them had been filming the latest X-men –movie the past 3 months and you had spent only two short weekends with both of them, separately. So basically you were single anyway.  
Then your phone rang. It was James. You decided not to answer. Your phone kept ringing constantly, James was calling you then Michael called you and you did not answer to either of them. Then there were messages asking if something had happened and trying to get a confirmation that you were alright. You were internally boiling, although externally you seemed very calm. You took a plate and scooped some soup to it, sat down, turned off your phone and started to eat. You were not going to deal with this right now but you were not going to continue in this so-called-relationship either.

No, this was it. This was the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Ola as a thank-you for your comments :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> The plot thickens...


	30. To be someone else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shit-storm keeps getting worse and you make some bad choices.

You tried to adjust yourself to the interview and be cool with it but within a few days it was all over the news. Then people at your work found out and they all wanted to ask you questions. Every time you went out there were paparazzi photographers who tried to get your side to the story and as long as you didn’t comment on the interview or your relationship with Michael and James the press kept painting a picture of them as saints that had taken pity on a fan and started to date you as a charity, just so you wouldn’t get your feelings hurt.

It made you so angry because you knew that the truth was quite opposite; they had begged you… no, it was better than that! They, well Michael, had taken your spare key and then let themselves in without invitation and then they had used very questionable, fishy and ambiguous ways to persuade you to go along with it. Yes… you still remembered that evening very well. Sure you had enjoyed it and it had been exciting and great in every way but it did not change the fact that they had invaded the privacy of your home and talked and seduced you into it.

It was too much. You didn’t actually want to be the woman who cheated on Michael or James, like the media had thought, but you did not want to be this desperate fan who had fallen in love with both of them instantly and then begged them both to date you so you wouldn’t have to choose. Yeah, according to the media you were desperate and greedy, gambling with the feelings of two great actors who just wanted to be the good guys.

The other thing that annoyed you was how some articles were speculating if you were being played on. They represented Michael and James as these two playful rascals who had wanted to have a little bit of fun with a fan and then you had taken it too seriously and one thing had led to another and oops, one year later the guys found themselves tied to you even though it was ruining their friendship. Yeah, it had not gone unnoticed, well it was pretty easy to see anyone watched the interviews from before meeting you up to this day.

Then it was obvious that James and Michael had lied when they had said that they were closer than ever and the relationship had not affected their friendship in any negative way. Then they had said that they had made the rules clear; if it got weird, it would end. It was yet another lie because it had been you who had said it. But now some of the articles were speculating that you had been begging them to continue because it was clear that their friendship had taken hits but they were still dating you, both of them and it could only mean that you had pushed the right buttons or pulled the correct strings to keep going with it, against their own better judgment and principles.

As those a couple of days passed by you did not answer to either of the guys. You kept wondering if the guys knew what was bothering you. Surely they knew, right? Or maybe they didn’t. Maybe they were so full of themselves and their own shit that they didn’t think that you would mind if they twisted the truth a bit. A bit? More like turned it upside and presented black as white and white as black. Then on the third day you finally read their messages They were asking what was wrong and had something happened but then the last message that had arrived just 5 minutes ago was stating the following

“It is the interview.”

You stared at those four words on your phone screen and thought “no shit Sherlock!” but you didn’t answer. There was nothing civil what you could have said to them. The truth was that in your current stated of mind you didn’t really care. Your attitude was somewhere between “to hell with it” and “I don’t give a shit” and to be honest you were somewhat relieved because subconsciously you had been waiting for this day to come, the day when you couldn’t take it anymore. The day when all your efforts and struggles did not feel like worth it anymore. In your eyes neither of your so called boyfriends did not care enough to be honest about what had happened.

They could have said that they are dating the same woman and it has affected their friendship but they have not been able to admit it to themselves. They should have said that the relationship-arrangement was their own idea… or even that it was a mutual agreement but not like this. They could and should have told the interviewer, since they wanted to set things straight, that it had been you who had had doubts about the whole thing and said that you would be out instantly if things got weird. Sure you had not gotten out even though it had gotten weird and even though you had started to feel that you couldn’t trust either of the guys with your heart. So in a way… you were also one to blame for it going on so long and the situation being now as it was.

“Isn’t it?”

You stared at your phone screen as that new message appeared to the message feed. You thought about it for a moment and went through all the things that you had experienced with the guys, The good and the bad but in the current state of mind it felt that the bad things were weighing more in the scales and you were running out of reasons to continue. Sure there had been amazing moments and now that you thought about it, maybe you had been in love with the guys, momentarily, here and there, but none of it really mattered anymore. Why? Well how were you supposed to trust the guys anymore when they had lied about you to the world and valued their public images more than you? It had happened once and since you did not know any better, you could not read their minds and they had not felt that it was important to come up with a strategy that would suit all of you… How were you supposed to know that they would not do it again? You swallowed your emotions and answered

“Yes, it is and I have nothing to say to either of you. So fuck off.”

Michael stared at your message and sighed. You had found out and he had known that this would happen if you found out. It had felt like such a small thing at the time but then the media had really started to have fun with it and there had been a massive snowball –effect going on. He had seen the entertainment news and read the headlines and even though he had not read all the dirty speculations there were, he knew that you were pissed off. He also knew that you had right to be pissed off.

The other thing that got painfully clear was that you did not obviously care that deeply about the relationship. He had talked with James about it and they both felt sorry for the fact that you were unable to trust them and you had basically started to wait for things to get fucked up and eventually end. They knew that being in a relationship when the other person was away more than actually there was a challenge as it is but being torn in two must have been even worse.

Neither of the guys had stopped to think about it before now. All they had thought about had been how to be a little bit better than the other guy and feel jealous of each other when you had been spending time with the other. Neither of them had actually realized how exhausting it had been to worry about their friendship and follow it getting worse and worse by every passing day. They had not understood your concern and need to get things fixed, oh no, they had just ignored the problem because it had been easier at the time. Now they had agreed to repair thing but it was too late because you obviously had had enough.

\- Maybe we should fly home and try to fix things. James suggested after he had discussed about the entire situation with Michael. Michael sighed as he kept walking nervously around in the hotel room.  
\- I don’t know James, something tells me that (Y/N) doesn’t want to see us and this time she means it. Michael commented and rubbed his chin. You had never before ended a message like that. James groaned and sat down on the sofa as he stated  
-We really fucked up, mate… But the truth is that I love her-  
\- I love her too! Michael exclaimed with a tone that was desperate and filled with regret.  
\- Yes, we both love her and I love you too, mate! James stated and leaned back in the sofa. He stared at the ceiling and waited for his friend to say something. Michael brushed his hair and said  
\- Yeah… But-  
\- No buts! I say we take a few days off from promo-tour and fly to London to fix things! If she doesn’t want to talk with us or of there is indeed nothing we can do, then we at least cannot regret that we didn’t try. James said and stood up as he wanted to emphasize his words.

\- I guess. Michael mumbled and leaned to the wall as he folded his arms. A silence followed and then suddenly he asked  
\- Do you think that she will go to the press and set things straight?  
\- I don’t know. Honestly though, I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t but I have a feeling that she doesn’t want to make it any more public that it already is. James answered and fell back on the sofa. Michael turned to look at his friend as he kept thinking about the various scenarios how this could play out. Then he nodded a few times as he came up with something. He began  
\- Maybe we should-  
\- Now wait a minute, mate! Do you realize what kind of shit-storm it will create! We lied, Michael. James reasoned and looked at his friend with widened eyes and then he returned to stare at the ceiling again.  
\- Yes and that is exactly the reason why we should set the record straight. Besides it will be very suspicious if the press will find out that the relationship ended just after we had come clean about it. There are already some headlines stating that we lied so the way I see it, taking responsibility for our own actions is the only thing that we can do. But I will not do it without you, James. Michael explained.

James sighed and shifted his gaze to his friend. He knew that Michael was probably right but since there were no guarantees that it would even change anything, he was unsure if it was the smartest thing to do. What if you were truly done with them? Then the guys would be left with stained public images and still without the girl when the possibility was to be left without the girl but keep the public image. Surely the press would blame you for the breakup and no further harm follow… except the press blaming you until they would stumble across the next scandal and forget about you.

It was your weekend off, Friday evening and you had not gotten drunk for a long time. You did not really drink that often but now you felt that you had to clear your head and forget about everything for a moment, just for one night. You needed prove yourself that you were completely on top of the situation and that you were strong, you did not need Michael Fassbender or James McAvoy to enjoy life. Besides now that you were single again, there were no limitations.

You were free to do whatever you wanted with whomever you wanted. You did not have to think about anyone else and you could even take someone home if you happened to meet a guy to forget about your life with, even just for one night. You were not the type who jumped from bed to bed and looked for easy hookups but now you felt that doing so would be a sweet revenge. Yes, it was a childish and very immature thought and most likely you would just feel worse about everything, mostly about yourself if you tried to get even with the guys by showing them how easy it was to get over them. That you were strong and independent and that your relationship with either of the guys had not meant anything to you.

I was a very naïve way to look at the world but you had been the responsible adult for so long that you really wanted to say “fuck you both” and get on with your life. Sure it was not going to be as easy as you wanted to think but you chose to believe it. You chose to believe that after tonight of irresponsible and very selfish behavior you would be freed from the old ties and ready to face the world alone again, although you had been pretty much alone for half of the year because the guys had been busy with their careers, which had not surprised you.

The thing was that the dating had started very intensely, almost too intensely. It had been great and you had really enjoyed it. Then slowly all three of you had gotten back with your old schedules and the guys had been on and off London for long times and when they were in London, they were distracted by the future projects or just so jealous of the time that you had spent with the other guy. After the intense beginning that had lasted for some months, you had been relieved to get a moment of peace for yourself when they both had left to film their solo-movies. Then they had visited London for few days here and there and you had gotten used to be alone again.

The hardest part had been when they had both been in London for few days at the same time but you since you were still tied with the week-arrangement, it meant that you were unable to see the other and then they just left again… and no one ever talked about it, just like no one ever talked about the fact that the guys had ruined their friendship with competition and jealousy. You had tried to address the issues every once in a while but neither Michael nor James had admitted that there was a problem. 

Besides this week-week schedule was not working because it meant that you had to force yourself to basically “love” the one who had been scheduled for that specific week… even when you had wanted to see the other. And sure you had agreed in the beginning that you would date the one who was in London at the given time but you knew that it raised bitterness in the guy who was working more outside London or had longer promo-tours and therefore the guys had decided that it was week-week, no exceptions… which had then led into situations when it was James-week and Michael was in London, James was not but you were still unable to meet Michael, or the other way around, just to avoid further conflicts.

Then they had both left to film the X-men movie and it had gotten so painfully clear that they couldn’t almost tolerate each others company. Sure they had faked that everything was alright but it was not the same anymore. The fans started to notice it as well as the press… and most importantly… you. You knew that you should have drawn a red line and given an ultimatum; repair the friendship or prepare yourselves to say goodbyes for real.

But you had not because it had not felt necessary anymore. It had been almost like you had said to yourself “fine, whatever” and mentally gotten ready to let go so whatever happened, it would not hurt you and you would be free to move on. The last few months had been just like killing time for you, counting down the minutes to the moment, which you had known to arrive sooner or later… to the moment where you would finally say “this is enough, this is the end of this arrangement”. The sad thing was that now that you finally were in this moment, you felt quite numb about it. A part of you cursed yourself for almost pushing yourself into letting go because that was what you had done.

You had first talked and reasoned yourself out from falling in love, then you had settled with the situation which was fucked up until you had started to prepare yourself mentally for the moment that it would end. No, there was no fight in you left. But the twisted part was that you wished that there was. There was still a part of you that wanted to see the silver linings of the rain clouds or wanted to ignore the clouds altogether, the part of you who would miss those guys despite of everything and anything and that little voice in your head was the thing that you had to silence, just for one night.

You kept fixing drinks and pouring them down your throat one by one. As the evening progressed you felt your mind getting hazier and it got harder to think clearly. The drunker you got, the bolder you felt and at some point you really thought that you were completely over the entire relationship. The small voice that you had wanted to suppress had finally gotten silent and you had succeeded. It was the perfect time to get on with your revenge so you put on your sexiest dress and painted your face with strong colors that reminded you about how you did not care about anything or anyone, only yourself, even if it was only a mask that you put on to cover the real you, the person who was hurt as well as lonely.

The club where you went was packed with people. You kept drinking and dancing, flirting with men and getting in trouble with your irresponsible behavior. You closed your eyes and turned your face at the lights as the surrounding world kind of faded away for small moments. You had a thing, a drinking game if you may, that had one rule; every time someone looked at you like they had recognized you, you bought a shot and raised a toast for your broken heart and ruined public image.

Then there was a guy who came to dance with you. He kept flirting and you went on with it although normally you would have never done so, but tonight you were no you. You were someone else entirely and that person did not care about what was smart and what wasn’t. And therefore when the club was getting closed you were practically ready to go home with the guy. It was pathetic, yes, scandalous, also yes, but you just wanted to forget about James and Michael who had still tried to contact you even though you had told them not to.

You had a faint memory that you had even spoken with James on the phone in the bathroom of the club as some point but you were completely unable to remember what he had said and what you had said. It was beyond embarrassing because you suddenly got a feeling that you had been the one who had called him and not the other way around. Then your battery had died and the phone call had ended, you cried a little in the toilet cubicle and after kind of getting your shit together you had headed to the bar and ordered one more shot… or maybe it was the guy who was now throwing up behind the corner who had bought you the drink… No… you had told him to buy him a drink and suggested that he would get laid tonight.

You filled your lungs with the cool London air as you stood outside the club that had just closed its doors and cursed yourself for being so pathetic. The man walked to you, now that he had emptied his stomach, barely being able to keep his balance and tried to kiss you. The cool air had had a sobering effect on you and now your plan felt more like tragicomic and thoroughly, unbelievably stupid and you just wanted to go home, alone.

The man tried to kiss you and you dodged but since the man was even more drunk than you were, he lost his balance and as he was about to fall to the ground, he sought support from you and as a result your foot, the one that had the once injured ankle, slipped and twisted quite badly and you fell on the ground as the heel of your shoe broke twisting your ankle even more. You left out a scream and gasped for air. You tried to stand up but you were completely unable to put any pressure on the foot that was now getting swollen and when you touched it, you could feel that it was in wrong position. You asked the guy for help but he was gone already. He had spotted his friends and left you alone.

There were some random people stopping by and asking if everything was alright with you but you could only cry. You cried because your ankle was fucked, you cried because your life was pretty much fucked and you cried because you were so ashamed for the state you were in. Of course you had known that getting drunk was not going to solve anything but you had gotten drunk anyway… just like you had known that ending the relationship with the guys was not going to fix anything, but you had done it anyway… and now you were sitting on the pavement with a broken shoe, fucked up ankle and a phone that had no battery left… besides you felt like you were going to pass out any minute now and then you let yourself sink into a numbing unconsciousness.

After 45 minutes you recoiled involuntarily when there were bright blue lights flashing on the background and two guys squatting in front of you. They were calling you “Miss” and trying to find out if you were alright. They were saying that you had been drinking too much alcohol and if someone had not called the ambulance you could have suffocated to your own vomit or gotten a severe case of hypothermia. They mentioned about your ankle and asked to whom they could call but you were barely awake and your mind was too hazy to understand their questions. Everything that they were doing was very unpleasant; the bright lights hurt your eyes and made your head feel like it was about to explode, every time they moved you, your ankle ached and a sharp pain washed over your entire body and you did not like their tone which was very accusing. You did not have to hear their words to know that they were being very disapproving about the state you were in… or maybe you were just making things up because you knew that you had fucked up.

Then they lifted you up from the ground and you were taken to the hospital. You knew that you had probably ruined all the remaining possibilities by acting in such way and you were probably going to read all about your flirting and drinking and dancing on the table and then finally passing out on the street from the morning papers… and the worst part was that Michael and James were going to read all about it as well. If there had ever been even a slightest chance to patch things up, it was now lost… ruined completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to The_Missing_Winchester as a thank-you for your comment!
> 
> I hope you liked this!  
> The next chapter will be dedicated to CharminglyWeird, stay tuned!
> 
> \- Venla :)
> 
> To clarify; i think that women can go, party and have one night stands if they like... but why this chapter is so negative about the idea is that  
> A) due to personal reasons, my own relationship with alcohol is very strict, lets just say that i have been watching drunk people too much and therefore i dont really drink.  
> B) the reader is not quite single because she never clearly broke it off with the guys  
> C) it is scandalious because just a day or two ago the newspapers stated that Mikke and James are dating the reader and now she is publicly seen with someone else.
> 
> Thank you! :)


	31. Good news, bad news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rough night comes a new day.

The ambulance ride to the hospital was very unpleasant although the most of it was very hazy for you since you kept passing out until you were woken up again. When you got into the hospital you threw up until your stomach was completely empty but fortunately you did not remember afterwards anything and you passed out entirely as soon as you got to lay down again. When you woke up you could taste death in your mouth and it reminded you about some of the events of last night.

Your ankle hurt and your head hurt as well and you kept thinking if you were deliberately kept in pain, just to humiliate you even more. The moral hangover was quite enough on its own and this physical part was just a cherry on the top. The TV was turned on in the room and actually what had woken you up was the extremely annoying theme song of the entertainment news that was just about to begin. You were the only patient in the room and you reasoned that surely the TV remote was somewhere near, within your reach so you tried to find it until you saw it on the table next to the neighboring bed, far beyond your reach.

You shifted yourself a little and tried to measure the distance and your possibilities to reach there somehow, from the edge of the bed, maybe, but every time you moved your ankle ached and it sent a terrible wave of excruciating pain that spread throughout your entire body, therefore you gave up. You tried to ignore the TV but somehow it always managed to capture your attention and you found yourself glued to the hostess that was going through the biggest headlines of the program.

First headline was Kim Kardashian and her butt since she had managed to wear something very see-through again and the photographers had managed to capture her underwear into the pictures when the bright camera flashes had rendered the fabric of her dress to basically nothing. The second headline concerned Justin Bieber and his fuckups. You sighed relieved as it started to seem that no one had managed to capture you on your worst. It was basically a miracle really because everyone had cameras and instant Internet access in their phones.

Then you heard the hostess mentioning Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy. “Okay, it is not that bad” you thought until there was a video of you dancing with that one guy and you persuading him to help you on the table. The hostess mentioned that just a couple of days earlier the respected actors had come clean about their relationship with you and now you were seen with yet another guy, dancing on the table and that was not all. Oh no, because there was another video and if that first video had been amusing, this was plain sad.

In the video you were crying on the ground on the verge of passing out, with a broken shoe and your ankle in a slightly strange position. You couldn’t really remember this part at all, or the part where you had cursed at the person who was shooting the video and told her to go fuck herself. Your hem was dangerously up and if the woman had been very mean, she could have filmed your underwear too, but luckily she had had some standards. One thing that you were especially happy about was that you had been wearing underwear. The nurse entered the room and he turned off the TV immediately. You smirked bitterly and mumbled “thank you”.

\- How are you doing? he asked and examined your ankle with his fingertips very carefully. The ankle was sore and badly swollen and you did your best not to whimper under his examination.  
\- I’m fine. you answered with a hoarse voice after clearing your throat which hurt because of the cool night air as well as the throwing up.  
\- Do you know where you are? the nurse asked and made some notes on his tablet device.  
\- In a hospital. you answered. It was obvious but the thing that was not as clear to you was how you had gotten there.  
\- Good. he said and smiled a little, finished his notes and put the tablet on the table. Then he focused on you entirely.  
\- You had quite a night. he commented and took a deep breath.  
\- Yeah, so it would seem. you mumbled and felt very embarrassed. The nurse kept silent and he was clearly waiting for you to say something.

\- What do you want me to say, huh? That I messed up? That I wanted to forget myself for one night? Well I did, alright? you stated with a weak tone but the nurse kept just silently staring at you.  
\- It’s not like I was the first person to fuck up in the history of mankind. you added and folded your arms defiantly and shifted your gaze from him to your fucked up ankle. The nurse raised his hand up a little as a sign of surrendering or showing that he had no intentions to attack you and said  
\- I’m not here to judge you-  
\- Oh? Yeah right. you commented and rolled your eyes.  
\- Maybe you want to shoot your own little video too and earn a few quid by selling it to the yellow press. Is that why you have that tablet? you asked and shifted your eyes back to him and looked at the man next to your hospital bed with a hurt look on your face.  
\- Oh, so it is you. he commented and raised his eyebrows a little. This time you did not comment anything.  
\- Come on, it is not that bad. Like you said yourself; you’re not the first person to mess up. he said and his voice sounded somewhat sincere and comforting but there was no way you could trust a stranger, even though he was your nurse and in his profession he surely had seen worse. At the current situation and state of mind, you really did not find solace anything he could have said.

\- But I am interested though, why a woman with two famous boyfriends goes out, gets that drunk and leaves the bar with another man? he asked with a curious tone. He had his own doubts and he had come to a conclusion that the relationship between you and the guys was not as happy and perfect as the guys had expressed. Maybe the truth was that you had sought other company because you were terribly unhappy about something, which of course put you in the risk group of people who were emotionally unstable and unpredictable. This analysis was based entirely on guesses and the truth was that he did not know you but in his profession he saw many things daily.  
\- Why people usually get drunk? you asked and swallowed your tears as you fought your emotions to surface in front of a stranger. The nurse tilted his head a little and then answered  
\- Well, usually because they want to have fun-  
\- Or? you asked or more like stated.  
\- …or to forget about something. he said and you nodded but it was quite apparent that you did not want to talk about it any further. Your entire body language was yelling at him “no further questions!”

\- Alright. Well, the doctor will come to check out your ankle in a moment but this I can tell you already; good news first, you managed to throw up the entire content of your stomach, which means that in few hours the alcohol that had managed to get into your bloodstream will be dissolved and no harm was not done to your liver or other organs. the nurse explained.  
\- Good. And the bad news? you asked. The nurse made a silent “hm” sound and then continued  
\- Your ankle is pretty badly sprained, fortunately not broken so consider yourself pretty lucky-  
\- Ha! you scoffed because you did not really feel yourself lucky in any way.  
\- …however you will not be able to put your weight on it for a few weeks and I recommend that you’ll let it rest properly before wearing high heels again. he said and then took his tablet. You nodded and watched him leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Of course you were relieved that your ankle had not broken because you knew that usually a broken ankle never healed entirely and there was in the most cases some kind of ailment that would follow the unfortunate person for the rest of their lives. So considering it like that, yeah, you were lucky and thinking that last night could have ended far worse, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit relieved. Sure your drunken endeavors had been recorded and sold to the press for all to see, but at least you were alive and relatively well.

The doctor entered the room after three hours and woke you up from your nap. It was quite late already and the sun had gone down some time ago. She checked your ankle just like the nurse had checked it and asked many questions about the pain. She also asked you to describe it so she was able to order an effective pain medication for you. The reason they had not given you painkiller before was that you had had a bit of alcohol in your bloodstream and mixing that with strong painkillers was not a good idea. The doctor left the room for a moment and soon she reentered it with the nurse who helped you to take a yellow pill and wash it down with a glass of water.

\- Is there someone to whom we could call for you? she asked casually after she had gone through the details about your current condition.   
\- No, not really. you answered. You looked and sounded a bit depressed and therefore the doctor decided to suggest the following  
\- Tomorrow morning this very nice and talented lady will come here and you’ll be able to tell her what it is that you were running away from last night.  
\- You mean… a shrink? you scoffed and chuckled bitterly. You knew that you had issues but a shrink?  
\- No, a specialist who usually works with people who have survived accidents. she explained with a calm tone.  
\- Do I have to? you asked with a voice that was barely audible.  
\- No, no one can force you but I recommend it. she said and gestured that she was leaving. You wished her good night and watched her gathering her things and leaving the room. Just as she was stepping into the corridor, she said “think about it”. You smiled a little and nodded. Then she turned off the lights and closed the door behind her.

You lay on your back and stared at the ceiling. The room was not very dark and there were all kind of sounds that woke you up from your thoughts. The pain was now gone and you did not feel so hangover-ish anymore, which definitely was a good thing. You had not been eating during the entire day but it most likely was a good thing because you were not sure if anything would stay in anyway. The doctor would have let you home already if you had had someone to look after you there but since you did not, it was better in her opinion that you had stayed in the hospital and got released tomorrow afternoon when they knew for certain that the painkillers were working.

Finally you fell asleep and slept quite peacefully until the breakfast was served. Gosh you were hungry! You had not been this hungry for such a long time, maybe never actually. You devoured the tasteless sandwich and emptied the big fruit smoothie instantly. After the breakfast a middle-aged woman in civvies entered the room. You sighed when you realized that this was the lady that the doctor had been talking about. She wished you good morning and lifted a chair next to your bed. You smiled a little and decided to at least try talking, maybe it helped to deal with everything. The truth was after all that you had not been able to talk about any of “it” with anyone and “it” had been going on for a year.

\- You are (Y/N), right? she asked and sat down. She did not make any notes because this was not exactly an official therapy session.  
\- Yeah. Nice to meet you. you said and offered your hand for a handshake. The truth was that you felt very much better already because you were not in pain, you were not hungry and the thought about being able to talk about everything to someone outsider who had surely heard worse things and had no right to judge you. It made you feel lighter and you decided to go with it. The woman introduced herself and shook your hand. She had a firm handshake which made you trust her.

You knew that she did not have that much time so you went straight to the point. You told her about how the relationship had begun about a year ago and how the rivalry between the two guys had eventually hurt everyone and it had been the big elephant in the room but everyone had ignored it. Sure you had tried to talk about the things that were bothering you, for a moment but then you had stopped. You told the woman that you had difficulties with letting anyone close and when you had let the guys near, you had gotten burnt and kind of shut them out without telling them about it.

Instead of honesty, you had started to get ready for the moment when everything would eventually end because you had managed to convince yourself that it was going to happen, sooner or later. You talked about how you felt that the whole relationship-thing was basically fucked up because it was based on a competition and there were all these rules which had made it feel like a game instead of a real relationship.  
Then the guys had finally made the relationship public because you had not really enjoyed to be referred as someone who was playing the guys and cheating one of them which brought you to the moment that had triggered the latest events. You had heard the guys lying about you and making themselves look like saints and you were the manipulative one, although your rage felt very overreacted now. Sure you were still pissed off but the truth was that you were tired of things being fucked.

You were tired of a relationship-arrangement that had been established on a base that was fucked, you were also tired of feeling like a victim and blaming the guys for everything when the blame fell equally on the shoulders of all three of you. And the bottom line was that you missed the guys. It was not easy to be the one who always got left behind. How were you supposed to trust that kind of people and that kind of relationship where the other half always left? And all this had then bottled up inside you and led to the point where you had gotten terribly drunk and wanted to forget about yourself for a moment.

The woman listened and made some questions here and there about how different situations had made you feel and you were quite surprised how easy it was to analyze the situation now that you were not that angry anymore. Sure you were still a little pissed off but the strongest feelings had already gotten milder and your mind was not clouded with a feeling of being betrayed anymore. Sure you couldn’t understand why the guys had suddenly been so cruel but you did not suspect anymore that they had done it to hurt you, no, but what you were not sure about was if they actually realized that you had a life too. Your life did not spin around them and their fame and their actions had consequences even beyond their own lives, beyond their fame.

What made you sad now was that you couldn’t be so sure if the guys really understood that everything they did, everything they said about their relationship with you had an influence in your life although your life was somewhere far away in London and theirs was around the world. Besides you did not know if you had been just a phase for them, a test for their friendship which they had eventually passed and you had been only collateral damage, not that important after all.

\- Do you want to continue the relationship? the woman asked after you had stopped talking. You were silent for a moment and tried to come up with an answer but it was challenging because you were not quite sure about it and you had very conflicted feelings as well as opinions about the entire thing and you had your pros and cons were pretty much even. Finally you filled your lungs with air and answered with a sigh  
\- I don’t know. A part of me wants just to get my own life back and the other part of me wants to…  
\- Yes? the woman asked because you suddenly paused to think and chuckled bitterly.  
\- Keep hitting my head against the wall? Oh I don’t know. I thought that the decision would be easy to make, especially after this but now that I’m supposed to make it, it’s not east at all. you replied and smiled a little although the woman saw that the smile was supposed to mask the confusion and hurt that tried to fight its way to the surface.  
\- Letting go never is. she commented. You knew that you either had to let go of the guys or your grudges as well as doubts, either way, you had to let go of something and take a step into the unknown.  
-Yeah. you sighed and wiped your cheek casually. The woman checked out her watch that decorated her wrist.

\- Oh! she exclaimed. It was almost 2 pm and she was going to get late from her appointments soon. She had not noticed the time passing at all and neither had you. Talking about everything had been strange and challenging at first and the woman had asked many questions just to keep you talking because you easily got lost into your own thoughts but then you had started to talk more freely and analyze your answers yourself, which the woman had found very fascinating. She smiled and continued  
\- It is time for me to get back to my patients. Here, this is my card. Do not hesitate to schedule an appointment if you feel bothered, depressed or like the challenges in your life are too great to handle. So, next time, do not grab that bottle-  
\- Yeah. Believe me, I will not. you stated and shook your head.  
\- Good. Well, I hope you’ll manage to sort things up with the guys. she said and then left the room. You closed your eyes for a moment and inhaled slowly but you were interrupted when the nurse rushed into the room and turned on the TV. You scoffed as you heard the entertainment news hostess talking with her fake-cheerful tone in the television.

\- You need to see this! the nurse said and turned the volume up. You did not really care what the entertainment news said and you basically pleaded the nurse to turn off the TV or at least change the channel but he ignored your request completely. Then something caught your attention

“…The actors admitted the day before yesterday that they had in fact lied about the way their triangle-relationship had originally started. The first statement was that they had been begged into the relationship by this woman when actually, according to the revelation, the actors had been the ones doing the begging.”

\- What is this? you mumbled.

“We caught McAvoy and Fassbender on the Heathrow airport late last night where they commented only by saying that they are deeply sorry about the entire mess but at this moment there was nothing more to say. We asked them why they are suddenly in London despite the busy schedule and the answer was quite simple; because in London there is something far more important…”

The nurse turned off the TV again. You rubbed your forehead and sighed. Okay they were not as big assholes as you had thought but them admitting that they had been lying didn’t really prove anything yet, it only proved that they had lied, which was something that you knew already… Okay, it proved that they were able to differentiate the invented reality from the actual reality, which was a good thing. Your feelings about the entire thing were quite conflicted; you were not that boiling-angry anymore but you were not ready to be alright with it and leave it behind either. You were pretty much sure that if you saw them right now, you would not be ready to scream at them. You would most likely just stay silent because screaming required actually giving a damn and you were not sure if you were ready to care just yet.

\- Maybe you should talk to them. the nurse said and woke you up from your thoughts. You shifted your gaze from the black TV –screen to him.  
\- What is there to say? you whispered and shook your head slowly.  
\- You’re asking me? he chuckled and opened the door. He made a gesture with his hand and took a peek into the corridor.  
\- You should come up with something pretty soon, love. the nurse said and stepped out from your hospital room and let James and Michael in. You stared at them like a deer in the headlights and they stared at you. Then you shifted your gaze away, still staying entirely silent. The moment grew into a full minute of complete silence until James said with a soft, surprisingly warm tone  
\- We came to take you home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to CharminglyWeird as a thank you for your comment.
> 
> I hope this was a good one :)
> 
> \- Venla :P


	32. James, Michael and fucked up ankle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait...  
> the story continues...

“We came to take you home” you heard James saying and as a reaction focused your gaze on the guys in the doorway. The expression on your face was mixture of disbelief and confusion which you wanted to mask but in the current state of mind it was impossible, therefore you did the next best thing and shifted your gaze from the guys to your feet that were hidden under the hospital bed. It was one of those moments when you did not know what to say. What was there to say anyway? It felt like everyone was telling you to talk with the guys, get the situation sorted and fixed if it could be fixed but now that you were staring at the “moment of truth” eye to eye you did not know where to start or if there was any point to start in the first place. Besides you were almost entirely sure that Michael and James were angry at you and even if they did not say it out loud, surely they were feeling disgusted about the mess that you had created.

Either one of the guys said nothing. They just kept staring at you staring at your feet. Then finally they walked closer to the hospital bed and closed the door. You woke up from your thoughts when you heard the door closing and suddenly James’ hand was on yours. Just like that, like nothing had ever happened. Your first reaction was to pull your hand away but just as you were going to do that, James grabbed your hand firmly yet gently and prevented you to pull your hand away. It was getting more and more obvious that you had to face whatever was coming because the fact was that you were unable to even leave the bed.

However, as James’ thumb kept softly brushing your knuckles you started to feel relieved somehow. You had been so sure that after causing such headlines you wouldn’t hear anything about either of the guys yet here they were, standing beside your hospital bed, brushing your knuckles softly and instead of screams and insults there was a silence, although you were not quite sure if the silence was an awkward one or if it was a blessing. The truth was that you did not quite have the words to say anything. You had never in million years thought that James and Michael would come and basically hold your hand. It did not make any sense and the more your mind kept going around the subject, the more anxious you became because you felt that in the ideal world you had to say something.

“But say what?” you thought and pulled your hand away. You were angry at the guys as well as at yourself. Sure talking to the professional had cleared your thoughts for a moment but you would have been kidding yourself if you had said that it was all clear to you now. It had been quite a long time since you had even seen either of the guys and now they were here, seemingly supporting you, together… yeah, they seemed to have fixed their friendship which of course was great and you had hoped that they would, but was it a bit too late for that?

No, it was not too late for them to fix the friendship between them but maybe it was too late to fix the relationship between you and them? Did you even want that? Sure it felt like a good idea but after everything you had gone through, after a year of drama and different kind of rules and games and… Yeah, it had been an interesting year alright but did you really want to get sucked into that rollercoaster again? You were not sure. Your life had been relatively simple before that one night at the club and then it had changed. First it had been fun and exciting, somewhat twisted, sure, but still it had been fun to get so much attention, especially when the attention came from two handsome, successful men… but then at some point it had changed and you were not sure if you were ready to go back into the whirlpool. Maybe it was too much.

\- What are you doing here? you managed to ask finally after a long silence. You had gone a battle within your mind, struggled to decide what would be the first thing that you would say to them since it was getting obvious that you had to say something and it was you who had to break the silence.  
\- We came to take you home. Michael answered. His tone was soft, just like you had wanted to remember it during the lonely nights which made it more challenging to you to hold your ground. You did not want to be that traditional damsel in distress who would just run into the first set of open arms that was offered.  
\- But why? you chuckled in return and as you shifted yourself a little, a sharp, fairly intense pain spread from your ankle and made you gasp silently, which made James, who had sat on the edge of the bed, to jump as he assumed that he had somehow caused the pain. You gathered your wits and continued  
\- Aren’t we done? 

Your tone was distant and cold, it had an undertone of bitterness but two pairs of sharp ears were able to notice the sorrow beneath the attack. James took your hand again and smiled a little, however his smile was not exactly a happy one; it was comforting and understanding but also filled with the same sorrow than your tone was, although you were doing your best to hide it. James’ hand kept squeezing yours gently as the seconds slipped away.

\- No. James sighed and shook his head slowly. Michael folded his arms and scoffed. He rolled his eyes and mumbled with a barely audible tone  
\- Although the stunt you pulled-  
\- Well excuse me! you snapped and chuckled bitterly. James turned to look at Michael and shook his head. It was not the time for that if any of you wanted to maintain any hopes to save the relationship. Yes, the relationship, not the arrangement.  
\- No James! It is all over the news, quite an embarrassment. Michael continued but his tone had lost all the warmth and softness that it had carried.  
\- Michael, not now. James said with a firm tone and glared angrily at his friend. Sure Michael had a point, but this was not the time or place to discuss that. Besides there was no point to start the argument at the hospital where there were many extra ears listening.  
\- Actually, yeah, let’s talk about that. you said and folded your arms. Pulling your hand away from James’ for the second time around made your heart ache but Michael had a point; there were issues to be solved and they couldn’t wait. However keeping your ground was a little bit challenging when you were basically chained to the bed and couldn’t even stand.

\- Yes! Michael snapped.  
\- Michael, (Y/N), can we… not do it here? James asked with a pleading tone. Neither, you or Michael, said anything. You just kept staring at each other with eyes that were glowing with defiance and I was obvious that you both were ready to attack anytime.  
\- So I’m just supposed to… what? To… to… to let it go? you asked with a strong disbelief in your voice. You rolled your eyes and scoffed. If James thought that you would just let it go, he was completely wrong.  
\- No. We will talk about this… but not here. We will take you home and then we will talk this through. James answered and sighed. He knew that it wasn’t going to be easy because you were trapped with your fucked up ankle and it made you even more… well, not dangerous, but with the lack of physical capability to escape the situation you were like a hurt animal, although your attack would be in words and gestures.  
\- What makes you think that I want to go anywhere with you? you asked with a bitter voice and glanced at Michael but treated also James with the same angry glare. The reason why your ankle was fucked was the fact that Michael and James had lied publicly. It was their fault and in your state of being heavily irritated your mind was really cutting corners with the blame-game.

\- You don’t really have a choice. James answered. He wanted to brush your cheek with the back of his fingers, just softly because he had missed doing so and he had missed it so very much but just as he was about to do it, he stopped himself and decided not to. You noticed him struggling with something but you did not know what it was. Maybe he wanted to touch you, show you that he cared and he was not angry and to be honest, a part of you wanted him to do it, just to brush your cheek with the back of his fingers but then again, you did not want to be the one who breaks. Oh no, you had your anger although you had thought that talking with the specialist had helped and it had but it was not enough. 

There was just too much of everything; things that had happened, things that had been said and rules… oh yes, all the rules that had eventually ruined everything. The competition, challenge… a game in which you had been the price, but you had never wanted to be “the price”, no… because all you had wanted to be was a person who meant something, a person who had feelings and you had wanted the guys to realize that whatever they did, the funny games they played, they had been playing with your heart and even though they had never wanted to hurt you, it had been exactly what they had managed to do.

You nodded silently and after the doctor had checked out your ankle once more, given the painkiller prescription and instructions for ensuring the quick… or “quick” recovery of the ankle, you were ready to leave the hospital. A female nurse helped you to get dressed and brought a wheelchair so James could roll you along the corridors to Michael’s car that was waiting in the parking garage. Michael carried the crutches that the hospital had borrowed you, put them into the trunk and opened the door to the front seat where James helped you to move from the wheelchair. You had told the nurse that you were able to walk out, James had told the nurse that he would carry you but the hospital policy required you to be transferred with a wheelchair, besides being publicly carried by James McAvoy was too much, too soon.

You sat on the front seat and James even helped your seatbelt on which made you sigh and mumble that you were not completely helpless. James only chuckled and smirked at you as he was pulling away so Michael could close the door. Then he sat behind you on the back seat and Michael got to the driver’s seat. None of you said anything and you mostly stared out from the window into the gray city as Michael drove among the traffic and finally parked his car in front of your apartment building. James got out and helped you out from the car and helped you to stand with one leg as Michael took the crutches out and brought them to you.

\- I could carry you, you know? James said suddenly and lifted you easily off the ground. You had not expected that and for a moment you had forgotten how to even speak.  
\- Put me down. you said as soon as you had managed to rearrange your thoughts and finally understood what was happening.  
\- No. James said with a firm tone and looked deep into your eyes. His eyes were sparkling and you couldn’t deny the fact that you had missed the color so much. You had also missed the way he looked at you, how his eyebrows never furrowed when he stared into your eyes, how they were filled with compassion and… love maybe even, still after all this time and after everything that had happened. There was love in his eyes.

\- But… you mumbled as you felt helpless, drowning into the blue depths. James shook his head a little and smiled. However the moment was broken when Michael slammed the door of the trunk closed. He was annoyed with you and also himself, mostly with himself because he had let his personal frustration take over and now you were sharing a moment with James. Yes, although he and his friend had agreed not to be jealous and compete anymore, this was the first time after making such agreement to see you in James’ arms. It was challenging to not to get jealous, especially when he had gotten blinded by his own frustration and not stayed cool like James had.

\- Put me down. you said and glanced at Michael who had walked behind James with your purse as well as the crutches. Just as James was about to protest, you nodded and smiled a little. James lowered you carefully on the pavement and Michael gave you the crutches as soon as James had stepped a little further away. Walking with crutches was not easy. It was almost impossible to figure out how to shift the pressure and therefore the first steps that you took were very shaky.  
\- Can you get the keys? you asked and added that they were in your purse. Michael nodded and after searching for a moment, he found them and opened the door. He held it open for you and then repeated the same with the elevator door. When you got into your floor, he rushed to open the door to your apartment, took off his shoes and put on some lights, cleared the entrance hall a little because you had left it into a messy condition before leaving to the bar. Yes, you had practically emptied your closet as you had tried to find nice clothes for the evening and there was a pile of random clothes on the floor greeting you now.

Michael opened the curtains so your apartment filled with pale light. It was a rainy day but it was also surprisingly bright. After that he collected the empty bottles and took them into the kitchen, rinsed them and put them into a neat row next to the sink. He counted them silently and sighed as he imagined you drinking so much. James helped the coat off your shoulders and led you into your living room. He wanted to help you to sit down but you did not want to do that. No, sitting was just as bad as laying helplessly in the bed. There were too many things to be resolved and you had to stand up to keep your ground.  
\- I know you are upset with us. James began. You shifted your eyes at him from Michael who was leaning to your kitchen sink with his head dropped down. You kept thinking how it was possible, although you had to admit that it was quite obvious… but how? James noticed the confusion in your eyes and continued  
\- You called me.

You had no recollection of such thing and it made you gasp and sigh. Your memories of the events after leaving your apartment and going to the club were hazy and they faded out completely leaving you with millions of unanswered questions. “I did… not” you stated but now that James was pointing out that you had called him, it started to feel eerily familiar and you got a hazy memory flash of you, maybe crying or shouting in the toilet and then your phone dying in middle of the conversation… correction; one-sided conversation, monologue, but it was all you remembered… you had no idea what you had said. “Fuck” you sighed silently and dropped your head for a moment. Then you collected your thoughts and raised your chin.

\- You… James began and chuckled a little, then he noticed you glaring at him angrily and he decided that it was better to keep serious. This was not the usual “friend messed up or made a fool out of themselves and cannot remember any of it” –situation. No and even if the situation had been amusing from James’ perspective, it was not amusing from yours. Oh no, the situation was far from being amusing and if there was going to be a day when you three could all just laugh about it, it was not this day.  
\- You made it quite clear what kind of asses I and Michael have been. James said and sat down on the sofa. He gestured you to sit as well but the gesture only made you to hold on to your crutches even more.  
\- I suppose we deserved it. Michael commented from the kitchen. He walked to the doorway and leaned to it with a thoughtful look on his face. It made you lose your ground for a moment because you had no idea what kind of horrible things you had said to them. Your defiance and anger were cracking again.  
\- I don’t remember… you sighed with a voice that was barely audible.

\- Yes, well… It is no surprise. You were quite… drunk. James commented as a reaction and immediately cursed silently in his mind that he had even pointed it out. Surely you knew it yourself and you did not need anyone to twist the knife to make the wound even worse. You, after all, were the one with a fucked up ankle. A constant reminder of all the things that you couldn’t remember. James was quite sure that it was even worse; to be unable to remember and then hear about it afterwards, almost as it was a stranger who had done those things but then being forced to face the fact that it had been you.  
\- You were crying… It was the most heartbreaking thing. Michael said. Yes, you had called James but Michael had been with him at the time so he heard the phone call as well. You shifted your gaze to him and listened carefully the tone of his voice and examined the look on his face. He looked tired and worried, sad even. Maybe this whole thing was just as hard to bear for him as it was for you.

\- I think, for the first time you were being honest about what you were feeling. he added. James nodded as a sign of agreeing with him. You shifted your gaze and stared into nothing in particular as you fought against breaking down. You kept looking into that nothing as both James and Michael kept telling you what you had said, how you had poured your heart out, all the hurt and all the disappointments, to them and you could not deny the fact that those things had been just the ones that you had wanted to say.  
\- What are you doing here? you asked finally after James had concluded the replay of the phone call that had ended suddenly as the battery of your phone had run out.  
\- We came to fix things. James said as he stood up. You shook your head as if you were unable to believe your ears.  
\- We want to make this work. Michael stated. His tone was soft and surprisingly warm, caring even. Oh you had missed that tone.  
\- But all the rules and… and… arrangements… I can’t… I cannot take it anymore. I don’t want a relationship like that! you exclaimed. It was the first time you said it… well, the first time that you were saying it completely sober at least and this time you would remember making such firm statement.

\- We know. James assured and smiled a little bit.  
\- It will be different. he continued and sooner than you could even react or understand what was happening, you noticed him standing in front of you. He put his hand on your cheek and cupped it with great care. His gesture made you feel very conflicted; on the other hand his touch was very reassuring and comforting but then again after hearing what you had said and being painfully aware that Michael was staring at you and his friend… it felt very inappropriate. You took a quick confused glance at Michael who smiled a little and for your surprise… nodded approvingly. Your mind filled with even deeper confusion and therefore James guided you to look at him once more. Your eyes sought his and as you drowned in the bright blue depths of them, he leaned closer and pressed his lips on yours. 

You couldn’t react at first. Even closing your eyes required too much brain functions but somehow you managed to do it, although it was more like a involuntary reaction. James’ lips were soft and warm, they felt familiar even though you had not kissed them for a long time. They moved slowly and gently, yet very cautiously against yours since you did not push him away. How could you push him away, you would never do such cruel thing. James kissed the corner of your mouth and then presses soft kisses on the outer corners of your eyes that were now filling up with tears. His hands caressed softly your neck with featherlike brushes as he pressed his forehead against yours and breathed you in.

After a moment you heard Michael clearing his throat and James stepped instantly further away from you. You opened your eyes and sighed as his warmth left you but your disappointment was quickly replaced with a surprise when Michael placed his fingers under your chin and guided you to look up. His ice-blue eyes mapped yours and his other hand dived into your hair. He tangled his fingers with your locks and smirked playfully before pulling you closer and pressing his lips firmly on yours.

You couldn’t do anything but to return to his kiss. You were standing on your one foot, holding onto your crutches as you tried to keep your mind clear and balance steady. It however was impossible. Michael shifted his hands and wrapped his arms firmly around you. You heard James murmuring behind you that “you don’t need these” and then he took the crutches away as he stepped further away from you. You shook a little as you realized that now you were completely placing your trust on Michael, but his arms felt strong and his embrace was warm and familiar.

In that moment you decided that it was worth of another try. Maybe this time it would be different, now that there were no rules, no arrangements and no competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to Ashnidante as a thank you for your comment. Much appreciated!
> 
> I hope you liked it  
> \- Venla :)


	33. Trying again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So you decide to try again...

James helped you to sit down. He took your crutches and placed them a little further away, to lean against the wall and after this he brought a large pillow to you and put it behind your back so you were able to sit comfortably on the sofa. Michael had returned into your kitchen and he was trying to figure out what to cook for the three of you as he opened the door of the fridge and was greeted with a quite familiar sight; your fridge was almost completely empty. There was a bottle of ketchup and that was pretty much it. This meant only one thing; someone had to go and do some serious shopping.

\- I will… Michael said and closed the door of the fridge, he turned and then continued  
\- I will go and buy some groceries. There was a shop nearby, wasn’t there?  
\- Yeah, right around the corner basically, but… I can go. you said and asked James, who had sat down next to you, to give you the crutches. You did not want to bother anyone or appear as a weak person even though it was obvious that moving was difficult as well as painful to you. You were not very talented with the crutches and you managed to hit your foot every time you turned or moved even a little.

\- Not so fast, darling! Michael chuckled and shook his head.   
\- If you even think that you are going to leave the sofa, you are completely wrong. Michael added and gave you a serious glance. James nodded at Michael as a sign that he agreed with his friend completely and got up from the sofa. Michael however gestured him to sit down.  
\- And you, dear friend, keep an eye on the patient. I have a feeling that she is not very good at staying put if no one is watching. Michael added. You exclaimed “excuse me”, laughed a little as James sat down next to you again and put his hand on your knee.

\- Seriously guys, you can both go. I’ll be fine! you stated with a firm tone but it was pretty clear that neither of the guys was buying it. James and Michael were actually a little worried that you were still mentally in a somewhat dark place, which was partially true. A part of you wanted to be alone in your own privacy dealing with everything that had happened during the few past days but on the other hand you knew even yourself that if you were left alone now, you would most likely beat yourself up until you would regret even being born in the first place. Yes, you did that; kept kicking yourself when you were already down. It was a bad habit of yours and you wanted stop that. However in this moment when all your feelings and emotions were all messed up, as messed up as your ankle was to be exact, being alone was not maybe the best thing to do and there was a part in you that realized this, but despite of it you had to try to be, or at least appear to be strong and independent.

\- I am not falling for that. I know you too well already. Michael answered from the entrance hall as he put his shoes on. He was right; if they both had left you, you would have most likely abandoned the sofa and started to do some house chores like washing clothes, dishes and hiding the empty bottles, although both of the guys had already seen the bottles so there was no point in hiding them. And in addition you would have started to over analyze everything and finally ended up blaming yourself for it all, which would take you into that dark place for sure.

James and Michael had a short conversation about what to cook and what to buy for snacks. They agreed that it would be nice to cook something with chicken and potatoes in tomato sauce, roasted slowly in the oven which was also easy and did not require much work. After making a plan Michael left the apartment and James returned to sit next to you on the sofa. He kept staring at your messed up ankle and it started to feel like it was an elephant in the room that the guys were trying to avoid. Maybe they were afraid that you would break if they mentioned it. The truth was that you did not really want to talk about it. Everything necessary they already knew and further talking about it felt like twisting the knife in the wound that had started to heal a little.

\- Does it hurt? James asked after a moment.  
\- No... you answered with a hesitant tone. The fact was that the strong painkillers that you had had in the hospital were wearing off and the pain was returning and the pain was an unpleasant reminder of all the things that you had fucked up during your short life. You however did not want to seem like a whiny bitch especially considering the way you had hurt your ankle in the first place. No, you did not want to complain at all, but another fact was that every time you moved your foot ached terribly and made you gasp for air as the pain stung suddenly, completely without a warning.

\- Yes. you said as you reluctantly corrected yourself. James got up and walked to his jacket, took something out from his pocket and walked into the kitchen. You followed him with your gaze curiously and watched him taking a glass from your cupboard, filling it with water and then returning to you with it. He offered you a white pill and that glass of water and you took them without asking further questions. You washed the pill down with the water and then gave the glass back to James. 

James smiled a little and at that moment you both heard Michael turning the key in the lock of your front door. The door opened and Michael stepped into the entrance hall with two big bags of food. James stood up immediately, went to help his friend with the bags and carried the groceries into the kitchen while Michael took off his jacket as well as his shoes. You stared at the bags with a confused look on your face; you were never going to eat that much within few days which was the average amount of time that food stayed fresh in the fridge.

\- You bought so much of everything! you exclaimed to Michael as you watched James unpacking the bags and putting the groceries into the fridge. There were different kind of fruits, bread, the cheese that you loved, even some chips for snacks, candies, yoghurt, chocolate and pretty much everything that you loved to eat when you were feeling sad or sick. The sight made you feel very appreciated because it was more than obvious that Michael knew these things about you; he knew what foods to buy to make you feel better.

\- I will never eat that much. you added. Michael walked to the sofa and sat down next to you, put his arm on your shoulder and pulled you closer to lean on his shoulder.  
\- Well, I have a feeling that James and myself will be here taking care of you. Michael said and placed his fingers under your chin to guide you to look at him. You turned your head a little and stared into his ice-blue eyes that were currently finding whatever answers from your eyes to whatever questions he had.  
\- Do you have any idea how worried I was? How much I missed you? he asked with a sincere tone. James was listening to what his friend was saying in the kitchen and he was happy that Michael had put into words the thoughts that were also in his mind. James was quite sure that you had no idea how much he and Michael had missed you although it had not looked like that time to time. James was aware of the fact that they, Michael and James both had been busy with many things and even when they had been spending time with you, they had been mentally somewhere else, mostly feeling jealous at each other. 

They knew now that it was the worst kind of poison that slowly yet surely destroyed everything good and beautiful and the thing was that James did not want to destroy anything anymore. Well, he had never wanted to destroy anything but he had ignored the possibility and then just accepted the fact that it had damaged the friendship between him and Michael as well eventually it had also created big, serious cracks into the relationship between him and you. No, James did not want that anymore. He wanted to build something that would last.

You did not answer. Not because you didn’t want to but because you couldn’t. If you had answered you would probably have burst into tears and you did not want to do that. You were not ready for that yet. Everything had happened so fast; you had been emotionally hurt and angry, then you had gotten actually physically hurt and now you had decided to try again but you were not ready to show your emotions openly. It was too early for that and you hoped that you were able to keep everything locked inside for some time.

\- I know it has not looked like that for a moment… or a while, but I love you, very much. James loves you too. Michael said and then added “not as much as I do” with a playful tone.  
\- Hey! James exclaimed from the kitchen and laughed loudly. He had put the chicken pieces into an oven pot, covered them with tomato puree and he was slicing potatoes into wedges to go on top of it all. Then he poured a little bit olive oil on the potatoes and spread his spice mix of smoked paprika powder, paprika powder, salt and black pepper, cayenne pepper, thyme, basil and oregano on them and closed the lid of the pot. He put the pot into cold oven and turned the heat on to 200 Celsius degrees and set the timer to two hours.

After he was done with the food preparations he came to sit on the sofa next to you, so now Michael was sitting on your right side and James on your left. The atmosphere was a little awkward because it was the first time since ages that you three were together in one place and therefore you did not know what you should say or do. After a moment James suggested that you would watch a movie while waiting for the food to slowly roast or sautéed in the oven. It was a good idea because it reduced the need for constant conversation. You were tired anyway because the strong painkillers that James had gotten from the doctor had that side effect but at least your ankle was not hurting.

Then the alarm went off and James took the pot out from the oven. When he opened it, the apartment filled with delicious scent of chicken, spices and tomato sauce. Michael helped you to sit by your dining table while James plated the food for three of you and filled three glasses with cold water. The food was great and even the atmosphere got a little less stiff as the day progressed and slowly you started to feel better. After the dinner you moved back to the sofa where you three sat next to each other and Michael even offered to rub your shoulders to make you a little more relaxed.  
You sometimes smiled as you listened to the guys joking about something and then you realized that finally they were being their adorable selves around you, it was the only thing that you had hoped them to be; themselves. 

Sure there were some awkward moments every now and then and the guys were clearly a little hesitant to touch you when the other one was watching. It was almost as if they had been constantly asking each other with glances and looks if it was alright what the other was doing, putting arm around you or holding your hand for example and this made you a little bit doubtful about whether the relationship would actually work or not. You were slightly afraid that despite of great words and honorable, genuine intentions you would find yourself torn in two again and this time you wouldn’t be able to just ignore it. No, this time it would tear you apart and most likely damage your heart badly in the process.

\- We have to establish some kind of schedule. James said suddenly. “Not again!” you thought as those words kept echoing in your head. You had made it perfectly clear that you would not play any games or follow any stupid rules and now it clearly seemed like James was going to set some guidelines for some arrangement again. Your whole body got tensed up and you couldn’t look either of the guys into eyes. This was exactly what you had feared to happen and for a moment you cursed that you had let the guys back into your life.  
\- No, nothing like that, dear (Y/N). But the fact is that you need someone to take care of you here and we both are in the middle of the promo tour and interviews. James explained and brushed your cheek gently.

\- Oh. you commented silently. It was not like you had not known it to be so because you were brutally aware that they were just in the middle of movie-business and it meant that you were basically just another obstacle for them, which was something that you did not want to be. If you had not yet regretted getting so terribly drunk and hurting yourself, this was the moment when it really hit you. James was right; you needed someone helping you around the house and the guys had their own lives to live; fame and glory, busy schedule and so on. Suddenly you felt very selfish for being almost jealous of their careers the way you were. You wanted to be the most important thing in their lives although a part of you knew that it was not that easy. James and Michael both were so talented and successful at what they did and you knew that it would be cruelty to steal them for yourself from the world. You were not that special and important after all and thinking otherwise felt very… self centered.

\- It’s okay. I can manage. I mean, I still have my hands and other leg, it’s not like I was completely helpless, you know. you said and smiled a little. You were a little bit anxious about being left alone because the doctor had made it clear that during the two first weeks of recovery you should basically just stay in bed and not put any weight on the fucked-up ankle. James turned to look at you and he looked worried but before he managed to say anything, you continued  
\- I will get around my tiny apartment with the crutches. It’s fine-  
\- No. Michael said with a firm tone.  
\- Besides, you Michael bought so much food anyway that I would survive for two months without visiting the shop and then hooray, my foot will be completely healed! you reasoned but it was getting more and more difficult to mask the growing insecurity in your voice. You did not want to be the person who would limit the lives of the famous and talented. No, you were pretty sure that they would just start to feel bitter about it at some point and eventually blame you for ruining their careers. Yes, you knew that you were being a little bit too dramatic about it but you did not want to risk it… but there was a part of you that hoped them to see the situation from your perspective and making the decision so you wouldn’t have to ask.

\- No, (Y/N)! This is not the time to be the… the… the… James said and paused as he tried to come up with the right words.  
\- …the “not damsel in distress” because whether you like it or not, you are the damsel in distress and we are demanding to be the knights in shining armors. James commented with a firm tone as soon as he had come up with the right continuation. His Scottish accent sounded funny and it made it almost impossible for you to take him seriously especially because he kept talking about damsels and knights. You smiled a little as you glanced at Michael who was doing a facepalm-gesture and trying to hold his laughter in. It was a serious topic but anything what James said with a small playful grin on his face and emphasizing his Scottish accent made the situation feel less serious.

\- What my dear Scottish friend tries to say here is that we will work out some kind of schedule so you do not have to spend time alone. Michael explained and although you didn’t want to admit it, hearing this made you feel relieved a little. You did not want to say it aloud but you felt better knowing that you were not going to be completely alone, especially since you had to take time off from work, these first couple of weeks at least. It was going to be bed rest for you and knowing that you didn’t have to spend all that time completely alone without anyone to talk to; it made you feel a little better about your state.

\- My Irish friend is correct. We are not going to brutally abandon you. James said and winked his eye at you. You smiled a little and nodded. You knew that it would be challenging to get back where you had been but to be honest, you did not want to get there. You wanted the relationship to get better than it had been… actually you wanted it to get better than it ever had been because the whole original setting had been flawed from the beginning with all the rules and arrangements. Now you wanted to have something simple and straight forward, a relationship that you were able to trust two adult men with whom you would be able to fall in love, because that was what you wanted; to fall in love and love both of them with your all heart and every cell of your being.

The guys dimmed the lights and lighted up some candles to make the atmosphere more relaxed. You started to feel very tired and after a moment of listening to the guys talking about funny things that had happened while shooting the movie you slowly fell asleep. You felt good sitting in the middle of them, covered with a blanket and for the first time it felt like it was supposed to feel like; a relationship where you did not have to worry about upsetting someone by just being yourself. Of course as time passed you came to realize that it was not going to be that easy, but none of it mattered now as you fell into soft, peaceful sleep leaning against James’ shoulder while Michael guarded your messed up ankle.

The days turned into weeks that slipped away completely unnoticed. Your ankle got well and after a little bit of encouragement from James and Michael you even dared to be seen with both of them at the same time. It was not easy in the beginning because the even though the guys tried not to be jealous, they sometimes were but unlike earlier, you were always able to talk things through. You were nervous to show affection towards either of the guys when the other was in the same room but with time most of the disagreements and problems got ironed out and one morning when you woke up you noticed that you had actually fallen in love with both of them. It was a heartwarming feeling that made you smile at the strangers on the street and even when you were all by yourself.

The yellow press of course was a little brutal, at first, but eventually they got tired with writing about the relationship of three people because they noticed that there was much more drama going on in other relationships in Hollywood, which meant that your “threesome” was actually pretty boring, headlinewise at least. You did not mind at all since you had been quite done with drama already at the time when you had decided to try again with the guys and it was just awesome that the paparazzi-journalist and the scandal-seeking entertainment reporters realized that you were able to make it work after all, against all the odds. Yes, they had assumed the whole thing to be over in six months, a year tops, but even after two years all three of you were as happy as ever.

You were regularly seen with the guys in different galas as well as in other events and slowly it become the normal state of seeing you three. Sometimes you accompanied both, sometimes just one of them and eventually nothing surprised the yellow press anymore, which meant that it got impossible for them to write juicy gossips and scandalous headlines about your… thing. Michael and James liked it very much too because it gave them an opportunity to concentrate in two things; you and their careers. There were always some ambitious reporters who tried to make small snowflake –sized problems to look like massive snowstorms but you three knew exactly where you were going and articles like that did not rock your boat or create a danger for it to capsize. 

There however was something bothering Michael and he felt that it was time to fix it for good…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to JeffreyDeanMorgans_wife 
> 
> I hope you liked it and thank you for your comment :)
> 
> \- Venla :)


	34. Problems and new ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes again and you face some difficulties in life. Michael is bothered by something and he will finally speak out.

The snow was falling very slowly as you were sitting by the window wrapped into a blanket and reading your favorite magazine that was focusing on interior designing. You had gone through tens of various job advertisements earlier today and were resting your brain with the beautiful pictures of apartments that you would most likely never get to live in, but you liked to look at the pictures anyway. You loved your own rental apartment, the same where you had lived when you had met Michael and James. It was small, yes, but it was very cozy and had provided you shelter from the storms and heartaches during many years. Lately however you had started to dream about moving into a bigger apartment… if only your current situation gave you a chance to do so. You sighed deeply and closed the magazine when you had turned all the pages from the beginning to the end and back again. “No, not in this situation” you thought, crossed your arms on the table and leaned down to rest your head on them.

You were spending time at James’ apartment, waiting for him to come home from shopping. You had gotten a stupid flu and therefore you had been spending time wrapped into blanket at James’ home for more than a couple of days already. Michael was currently filming on the other side of the world and you had not seen him for two weeks. James however was taking a small break from movie projects although he was busy with interviews and talk-show appearances, but at least he was staying in London.

You missed Michael and you also missed James when he was away from London but you had learned to deal with it because you had known exactly what the relationship would be like when you had decided to try again. There had been challenging times and extremely happy times but as long as they were in some kind of balance, it was okay, no, it was better than okay. It was great and you were genuinely happy. You had followed the guys around the world whenever you had had a chance but you had always been strict about you keeping your job and making your own decisions when the subject was your career.

Both of the guys had suggested a couple of times that you could easily just quit your job because they were making plenty of money and there was no reason why you would have needed to earn your own upkeep. You had not been too happy about that suggestion because then you would have changed from an independent woman to a trophy-wife without a real purpose or mission in the life. Sure traveling and living a flashy lifestyle intrigued you time to time, especially when you had been struggling with work but you had been always very specific about wanting to have a career of your own.

Until the company that you had been working for during several years went bankrupt and you had suddenly ended up jobless. That had been quite a shock because you had been just recently been promoted to be the head of sales and everything had been going well. Unfortunately the owner of the company had taken big risks that had eventually gotten him in terrible situation and after trying to steal form the company and hide his personal assets to offshore bank accounts and leaving the taxes unpaid for quite some time, the owner got sentenced into jail for forgery and you had been suddenly out of job.

It had been a shocking moment and there had been some scandalous headlines featuring pictures of you going to the police station to give a witness statement about the way the company had been operated. You however had never been blamed for anything or even suspected for fraud but it had been very stressful time for you anyway because you had become the owner’s right hand, kind of, and it sometimes still made you wonder if you should have noticed that something was not right at the workplace. 

It had been almost six months of unemployment and you were getting frustrated because you were not used to just laying around. The first month had slipped away in a shock. “How did this happen?” had been the question that had kept you awake during the nights many times and you couldn’t have stopped thinking about all the other employees who had lost their jobs just like you. The difference was that you had two rich boyfriends that were some sort of safety net, and many of the people you had been working with more than five years had no such thing. Of course you had not and still did not want to live on James’ or Michael’s expense and there had been many things that you had left unsaid because you had not wanted to worry the guys too much. They after all had their own careers to think about and because of this you had not told about the sudden unemployment until it had been all over the news in the form of paparazzi-pictures of you leaving the police station and so on.

Fortunately you had managed to explain the situation and for your relief, neither of the guys had blamed you for anything. They had hoped that you would have told them what was wrong because even though you had tried to hide it, there had been some cracks in your mask and the way you had been unable to sleep well, had been a clear indicator that something was indeed wrong. It had been hard to open up about the situation because your job had always meant to you that you were independent and capable of taking care of yourself. James and Michael had learned this the hard way during the years and eventually they had accepted it as a part of who you were. Now being unemployed, it did not suit you at all but it had been a change that had been difficult to get adjusted oneself to.

You had been sending many applications all over London but it had started to seem that your “fame” was working against you. You noticed it easily when the job interviews had turned into “oh, you’re THAT (Y/N), how James and Michael are doing? Does it mean that if we hire you, you will bring them into company events?” or “oh, you’re THAT (Y/N), yes I have been reading about the fraud in the newspapers. It is unbelievable that you did not notice anything!” and therefore you had given up after a couple of months. “Maybe it is better to let the dust settle” James had said and you had reluctantly agreed with him.

Now, at this one specific moment, it had been a little bit over five years since you had met Michael and James for the first time. They had been very supporting about your difficulties, after you had finally talked about them, but you sometimes got annoyed when both of them were trying to make you feel better by saying that it was not so important for you to get a job. They had both offered to hire you as either one’s personal assistant but it had felt like accepting charity from them, especially when you did not even have any experience in that field of work. Yes, being dependable from someone else had been a very hard nut to crack for you and it had been causing a little tension between you and the guys. 

Besides you were quite sure that mixing business with pleasure and spending so much time with your boyfriend would not work and it would eventually just do more damage than good. You loved both, Michael and James, very much but you still needed your space, your own life which had meant hobbies, friends, home and yes… work. Now that you had lost your job it meant that you did not meet your work colleagues anymore and they had become your friends, but for many reasons it had become hard to call them and ask them out. You all had said the usual “we’ll keep in touch” but none of you had picked up the phone and reached out. Maybe there was bitterness towards you, because you had the safety net which your ex-colleagues were lacking.

You knew that both Michael and James only wanted what was best for you, they loved you very deeply which was obvious but you had always stood on your own feet and now, during these six months, you had been basically carried by the guys. They did not make a big deal about it or even pay any attention to the whole deal, in other words, they had never, not even once, rubbed it in your face but they did not really need to since you did enough rubbing yourself. You knew that they wanted to help you sincerely but you were too proud to take any help, it was both your weakness as well as your strength.

Your thoughts were interrupted when James came home. He put the grocery bags on the floor, took off his jacket as well as his shoes and walked further. You greeted him when he walked into the kitchen and started to unpack the bags, then you wrapped the blanket tighter around you and stood up, walked into the kitchen to help him and to ask how London was doing. What you really wanted to ask was “are the papers still writing about it?” but you never dared to ask it.

\- Hi. you said as you leaned to the kitchen counter. James reached to press his hand on your forehead but he was unable to decide whether you had a high fever or if his hands were just cold making your forehead feeling burning hot.  
\- How are you feeling? he asked casually as he unpacked the bags and put the groceries into the fridge.  
\- I’m… fine. you answered and smiled a little.  
\- Have you rested? he asked and this time he focused his attention to you entirely. His big blue eyes were scanning your expressions as he waited for you to answer.  
\- Yeah, I took a nap and I read a little. you replied and covered your mouth as you felt that you were going to cough your lungs out in any moment now.  
\- Did you check out the jobs? James asked and reached to brush your hair lightly. 

You knew that he did not like it when you did that because it always brought your mood down a little, so therefore you had started to do that in secret, only when James or Michael were not home. The reason for this was that they had noticed how stressed out you became when you had gone to many interviews and finally realized that your CV was not valuable at all because the yellow press had stained your public image or the potential employer was more interested in hearing fun facts about the famous actors and your life with them. Generally speaking the people did not care anymore that you were dating two guys but when they had an opportunity to snoop around and ask private questions, they were more than willing to use those chances.

\- No. you answered although you knew that it was a lie. You did not want to lie to James but you were not in the mood to start a verbal fight either, especially because your voice was almost gone. You shifted your gaze away from James and stared at the surface of the kitchen counter.  
\- Are you sure? James asked and shifted his hand under your chin, guided you to raise your head a little and encouraged you to look at him.  
\- No. you sighed and shook your head a little. James removed his hand and started to prepare dinner because he had a feeling that it would be a relatively long conversation and he was hungry.  
\- So you did. Found anything interesting? James asked when he had taken some chicken slices out from the fridge and put them on the frying pan to fry in olive oil, spices and fresh herbs. You watched him stirring the pan as the chicken slices turned nicely white and some of them got a little bit of golden brown on them.  
\- Well… no, not really. you answered and then continued immediately  
\- I mean, I called a few places but instantly when they realize who I am they lose interest or they get a little bit too interested, if you know what I mean.

James made a small “hm” comment and added some wok vegetables to the frying pan. You did not really know what James was thinking about as he kept stirring the chicken bits as well as the vegetables. Did he think that you were overreacting because you were taking your unemployment in such a hard way? However you were convinced that he did not understand your point of view as well as you had wished because James was very successful in what he did and you had been as well, James never had shortage of money, unlike you, although you never talked about it.

Yes. You had had some little problems with paying your monthly bills and about these problems you had not talked to either of the guys. They of course offered to take care of your expenses since you were now living on your savings but it was you who had not wanted to go there. Of course you had let the guys pay for the dates and all the cool things that you had done together but you had managed all your own bills such as rent, phone and internet, insurances, gym membership, water and electricity as well as the ticket for the public transportation. You had sold some of your clothes, such as designer dresses that you had worn once in some gala and a few necklaces that you never used anyway. But now you were in a point when you had to swallow your pride and ask for help.

\- James... you began. James stopped stirring the food and focused his attention to you.  
\- Yes (Y/N)? he asked.  
\- Do you know anyone who needs an assistant, or something? you asked and that started a conversation which continued by the dinner and ended up with James calling his manager. James politely told his manager to ask around if any of the movie studios or such needed a new salesperson.   
\- Thank you. you said with a very weak voice and wiped the tears off your cheeks. It was embarrassing for you to ask for help, especially when the help meant asking James to use his connections for your benefit which had been something that you had not wanted to do. It had truly been a last lifeline. James shrugged his shoulders casually and answered with a small, genuine smile on his face  
\- No problem.

But for you it was a big deal and that was the reason why you were being so emotional about it, especially now that you fever was rising again and every muscle in your body was aching. It was almost as if your body was now beating up for your weakness and making you deliberately feel worse, although you knew that it was not the case. You had been up for many hours instead of resting in bed like you should have spent your day.

You got up from the dinner table and carried plates back into the kitchen. James had prepared the dinner, set the table, possibly gotten you a job so the least you could do was to help him with the cleanup. Your body however was not agreeing with you and you dropped your plate when you felt suddenly very dizzy. James put his plate back on the table immediately and basically ran to support you. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close until you got your balance back. Then he walked you into the living room and sat you down on the sofa, tucked you in and kissed your forehead softly.

\- I will be right back. he said and left the living room. You listened to him talking about some general things as he cleaned up the pieces of the plate and soon you fell as sleep for a moment. James’ soft voice was too calming and your eyelids too heavy. James sighed a little when he saw you sleeping on the sofa and continued then collecting the rest of the cutlery, glasses and other things from the table to the kitchen sink. Then he took a painkiller from the medicine cabinet and boiled some tea for you to ease your sore throat with. You jumped a little when James sat next to you. The lights kept hurting your eyes and you would have so much rather kept them closed.

\- Here. James said as he gave you a fever-lowering painkiller and helped you to wash it down with some pleasantly hot tea. The tea felt good and it helped with the aches a little. You emptied the cup and handed it to James who put it on the coffee table. Then he wrapped his arms around you, pulled you closer to rest your head on his chest and after a few minutes, you fell asleep.

Michael came home. He had been away from London for over three weeks and there had been something bothering him for a longer time already. It was a matter that he had been thinking about for the first time over two years now but due to his busy schedule he had always pushed the thoughts aside and focused on other things, until the thoughts returned to haunt him again. He had talked about it with James a few times and once suggested it to you as a joke to see your reaction. You had started to laugh out loud and James had not reacted in any better way either and therefore Michael had kept thinking about it and growing the idea alone in his mind.

What Michael was planning then? He had come to a conclusion that it was madness for you three to live in three separate apartments when the reality was that you were now functioning like a “normal family”. The difference was that you three had three homes instead of one and it meant that your lives were always somehow torn apart a little. It also meant that you all needed three toothbrushes, three of basically everything and it was basically needless because you were always spending time at one’s home. Sometimes it was your small apartment, usually it was not because it was so small, sometimes it was Michael’s apartment and usually it was James’ house.

Michael however did not want to move to James’ house. He did not want to move there because he thought that if you three were to move in together, the house or the apartment had to be something that suited you all. It had to be a place that had no history and was not linked to any unpleasant memories, besides James’ home was in a serious need of renovations soon, so it just made sense to move out and move in a completely new place.

Michael decided to call James and invite him for a night out at the pub. He had heard that you had gotten a job, finally, with the help of James and were soon beginning as the head of sales for a London –based movie studio, actually tomorrow was your first day at work in the new workplace. Michael called James and learned that you were spending the night at your apartment alone because you needed time for your personal mental spurring session. You needed peace and calm and there hardly ever was either of those things when both James and Michael were in the same place in the same time, especially when they had not seen each other for a relatively long time; a few weeks or so.

James agreed to meet Michael for a pint near Michael's apartment. They sat down in the familiar corner table and started talking. Then suddenly Michael stated that he had been thinking about the relationship and how it was time to take the next step. He explained his idea and the reasons why he thought it could be a good idea to move in same address while James kept emptying his pint with a steady pace. When Michael finally stopped talking, he noticed that James was staring at him with widened eyes and all he could say was  
\- I think I need another pint.

During that evening however James started to understand his friend’s point of view. There was no point to pay many rents when you usually always spent time together. It made no sense for you to move in with either of the guys, keeping two homes because it could create drama in the long run. Besides if the guys just told you to let go of your apartment and move in with either of them, it would be quite inconsiderate and unfair because then you would be the one who lost a home while nothing really changed for the guys.

\- Yes, old friend. I guess you are right. James commented and finished his third pint.   
\- It will be hard to convince (Y/N) about this, though. he added and sighed. Yes, Michael had now told James how you had laughed at the suggestion and how you had taken it as a complete joke. Both James and Michael knew all too well that you loved your home as well as your personal space and therefore it would be difficult or challenging at least to let go of that.  
\- Should we just find a place, buy it and say… “surprise”? James asked knowing that it most likely was not the way to do it.  
\- Most likely not but I guess that is the only way to do it. Michael commented and emptied his pint. After this they left the pub and got at Michael’s apartment to plan even further.

James and Michael planned the moving-in-together –plot for the following night as they kept emptying Michael’s liquor cabinet. They made highly elaborated charts and schemes as well as mind-maps which got out of control the drunker the guys got. They even searched houses and apartments online and ended up sending emails to a couple realtors. One of them actually called back in the morning and woke Michael up, who however was having a too bad hangover to actually answer the call. James woke up before Michael could even move and answered the phone. It was a realtor and James agreed to go to an open-house that afternoon. He got up from the bed, made some strong coffee and woke up Michael for real as well.

Then open house was wonderful and the guys knew that it was exactly that kind of house that you had been dreaming about. It was spacious and filled with natural light during the day. The view was beautiful and it was located by excellent public transportation connections, otherwise the neighborhood was rather silent and there was a park nearby which Michael and James knew that you would like for sure. They had learned to know you better than you even knew and they knew how much you loved the sound of birds singing in the trees when the winter turned into spring. 

They also knew that you wanted to get in places effortlessly but at this current moment you had no interest in owning a car. In your opinion you didn’t need one in a big city. Michael and James also knew that you liked an apartment that was quite neutral, which meant that you had more possibilities to decorate it according to your own taste, which in the guys’ opinion was very good; you had eye for interior decorations and therefore it would not be a terrible idea to let you decorate the home as you wanted. This open house was everything they had planned during the drunken hours of the previous night. It matched their charts and mind-maps.

\- We will take it. Michael said after talking about it with James in private. The realtor settled a meeting to her office and called her boss that this exact location was now off market. She was very happy about the quick sales because it meant that she was entitled to a large bonus from the company that she was representing.  
Now there was only one thing left to do; to tell you about this and both James and Michael were quite worried about how you would take it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to nani0118 as a thank-you for your comment earlier :)
> 
> I hope you liked it!
> 
> Next chapter is the last one. There will be a little bit of plot in the beginning, then "***" and some threesome smut. So partial smut-warning for the next (last) chapter.


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